CVS Live Guest - 2020-02-16 - Jesse Pascucci

Author Streamed Sunday February 16th, 2020

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I met Jesse on Facebook. He is currently in RCIA and will enter full communion on April 11th. I asked him to come and talk with us about his faith journey.

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These YouTube transcripts are generated automatically and are therefore unformatted and replete with errors.
we are live I'm here with Jesse hi Jesse how are you doing I'm good what's going on what's new with you I mean we just met but maybe tell me and the listeners a little bit about you so who you are what you believe currently and how he came to believe what you I'm Jesse I'm 22 I'm from New York I'm right now in our say preparing to be how are you raised my family is well I was really Catholic but like my family not that much devoted though um okay here and there and can you just talk a little bit about how you may have fallen away from the faith and how you're coming back to the faith and sort of thing oh well I had like problems listening to my parents and whatnot like like around like 13 I got into like I guess he's being called Allah really we're good yeah we're good just pull your face back because we can't see your eyes there you go okay well um around like 13 um I got into like witchcraft and for a couple of years it was like uh uh make it was only with cough and then wait when was it uh uh I saw like a lot of things like like stuff with it and like I'll try to like get superpowers and stuff cuz I couldn't really like discern off fantasy from reality and my parents weren't liking it and I was hearing voices which from now what I know is that like I was saying I was controlling it the voices which I know excuse authentic people they can't really control their places like that though I know like now it was actually me talking to myself and I gave like personalities to those voices whatnot okay have you been diagnosed with any mental illness that you know autism okay I want to stick do you know where you're on the spectrum I'm a high-functioning okay there's no specific Asperger's or whatever yeah there's Asperger's yeah okay and how do you cope with that how do you manage that is or are the techniques I have like my meds talking to people behavioral specialist or sometimes counselor you know okay and what are some of the benefits of being on the spectrum do you have high focus and the ability to dig deep into your favorite topics like I have OCD which we know obsessions and stuff yeah um that's where like the autumn was for which car horn I was obsessed with it yeah but what happened is that like I shift like I am go to one obsession and to another hmm so um what happened for a while was that I was going back and forth between Catholic and witchcraft so like I would circle I'll be like one week or two weeks I'll be Catholic and a two week old do really Toby which car I would be back and forth but um my my be my people are helping me with that like I I did like a two-week thing where like I didn't do any of that stuff and I just did like a neutral standpoint and I'll just view my options and then like I was receiving things from like both sides like I used to I used to believe in like the Greek gods and um like Morse gods like Thor and I have like dreams off um but I know now that that is not them because I don't know the demons can lie and like they try to make believe to make you think it's those things with actually them and the skies and stuff yeah so I uh yeah I do like a two-week thing and I actually felt like the Holy Spirit and whatnot one time and it was like him telling me that like it's not gods it's actually the double actually tricking me towards that and there's those dogs aren't real and I got the idea that like if those gods were real Zeus Odin Thor and whatnot they that would mean the monster should be real that would mean that the Gorgon so I guess Isis and whatnot that would be real and though be nothing to do to stop it and plus the demigods went like they would be there only once in a while or a couple years which really wouldn't make any sense can you know me on a technical note can you do me a favor and either tilt up your device or pull back so we can authorize welven because it's only your mouth and nose that we're seeing is it possible to yeah there you go okay just it's more human to see the eyes and they see the personality but yeah I agree you know there are a lot of demons that are proposing false ideas false religions false gods and as it says in Holy Scripture all of the guys try to actually all the claimants other techniques like a they try to make me fear the Virgin Mary you know what not because you know the Protestants they say a whole bunch of things yeah like I just ignore it because I know that um there's a lot of evidence for Catholic like a lot of evidence like the apparitions and uh like like the body like the Saints bodies like in crop bowl ya know and it's a lot of evidence that like I plus the Catholics say they like how that we compiled the Bible basically like I got off I've watched a good video saying like Martin Luther know stuff about him that like I was like okay maybe he's not for me so on my journey home because I'm being baptized and received and you know into the church yeah I recommend you watch a show it was on EWTN I'm not sure if it still is it's called the Trudeau reading the journey home with Marcus Grodi I highly recommend you watch it though I don't watch it all the time but I try to good very good because the primary issue for everyone that comes into the church from Protestantism is Authority infallibility the in defect ability of the church yeah that's natural for me it's not coming from Protestant it's more of coming from I'm like New Age really yeah you know I was in the New Age for years right oh I was yeah I remember I remember when I was in high school my own I got my friend into witchcraft and whatnot and he took off some things that I never got to do and then like he he's doing like enlightenment things now and I don't really like that he's doing that so I tried to like pray for him ya know see if he can come back you know sure cuz he was doing Christian mysticism for a bit but for some reason he stopped yeah why prayer and fasting it's a it's a twisted and winding road that each of us has to traverse to get to the truth and to submit to the truth it's not easy you're still young you've got your whole life ahead of you so I start now with the good habits put all the demonic stuff behind you and renounce forever Satan and you know have a strong devotion to the precious blood of Jesus the Sacred Heart of Jesus the Immaculate Heart of Mary and there are lots of devotions devotion to st. Michael the Archangel that's a good one to chase off the demon yeah he's kind of like one of those like action Saints I'm a big superhero fan like Marvel and DC you know yeah there so many riches in the church and the the trinkets outside of the church the trinkets in the New Age the trinkets in Wicca the trick 'it's in Satanism are very cheap imitations and if you talk to any if you talk to any ex Satanist who's come into the church they're gonna say that there was nothing they you know these other false worldviews can't hold a candle to the treasures and the riches that we have in the church so once you taste and see that the Lord is good you will be less and less tempted to go back to the other ways right exactly and I know about tourism and whatnot it would shrink in me and then confirmation which make tonight even further than which I really can't wait it's gonna be so awesome yeah well why are you not baptized already I mean I'm happy that you haven't been because all of your sins are gonna be wiped away and all of the consequences do to see and will also be raped away so I'm very happy and I congratulate you on this upcoming event but why were you not baptized as a child well I I get low about this but I was my mom my real mom not my stepmom is I'm with my dad and my stepmom right now and my real mom when my dad was with my real mom she was kind of like abusive and she was like shoot like she would like do things like um she would like leave me in the house for days and soft but uh stuff happened and they I meant um like a managed to rescue me from there like the people I don't like a call they rescued me from their social workers yeah something like that and my dad my dad got custody of me and after years but um like I like five he got oh four five five or four he got custody at me and I was with him and my stepmom and my stepsister ever since next so you're pretty happy you got a stable situation or is it is it okay your situation now your home life it's okay just my parents like my dad and my stepmom they don't like the idea of me like becoming wanting to be a priest you know okay I want to be a priest but I'm saying to them that's not solid right now yeah I don't know what it could be they may not meet you because of the autism it's just there is teaching in the church they're afraid some things didn't happen you know yeah see you might you might have a calling to something else but god only knows you might you might be called into the priesthood there are examples of people who have had mild forms of mental illness who were called to the priesthood and God can heal any problem that we have whether it's physical emotional spiritual mental right so there's no real impediment for God but typically there are screening processes that the church uses when candidates for the priesthood and probably you'd be low on the list of an ideal candidate because of because of the autism at different things like that but it doesn't mean that you couldn't be a priest one day and it doesn't mean that it maybe you have another calling to religious life or to married life there are the many many callings so don't get too obsessed with what you want just be open to what God wants for you okay right but I'm reading a book a ring a book called the Sabre thousands both nice yeah is it it's good is it a prayer for this souls in purgatory no it's it's like a thing to help discern the priesthood really like I'll see if it's right for you nice I I do pray for the soul stone purgatory but with the road Mosley can you know you having to memorize that prayer there's some prayer where relief is like a thousand souls every time you create I'm trying to memorize just I could say it on my own yeah yeah I say if every decade of the Rosary I say that so they're five thousand souls freed from purgatory allegedly every time I do my rosary every night so that's that's a beautiful thing to incorporate in my groceries so when I when I finish a decade I say the st. Brigid prayer for the holy souls yeah beautiful and beautiful prayer so many devotions so many prayers talk me through your sort of daily routine now when you wake up do you do the sign of the Cross do you do some prayers in the morning do two crows I do you do the prayers in the evening scapular okay which I have to get it reenroll but on I pray the I do like the morning offering and I try to pray in my head every chance I get because I like praying in my mind kind of like it's easier to say things like my mind process is a lot more than what doesn't know yeah that's good and sometimes I pray the rosary straight with my mind really like say it my thought and ya know morning opera is actually the morning offering it's one of my favorite prayers I really love it can I do like makes it's my scapular yeah just does not show my saw the home when I when I am baptized I do plan on being consecrated to Mary and you know we enrolling my scapular nice it was so cool it was so cool when I first got enrolled because I felt like this energy like course around me and it was really cool like all the negativity just was like away like like all my thoughts were like in order you know mmm calm peace as I get I get like my thoughts like my first level thoughts like the thoughts I think when I just think and then there's like thoughts that like are below those like I almost sub conscience but leg day speak sometimes yeah and I feel like catch them in the act and try to like control it you know okay yeah I'm reading the Desert Fathers and they emphasize controlling our thoughts and using constant prayer to chase away the demons and to chase away the vain thoughts that can really distract us and to chase away those appetites that are based and it can lead to sin so do you know of the Jesus Prayer yes I love the fair if you think you memorize and I'll do one the mother Teresa was saying uh um Blessed Virgin Mary Mother of God be murdered to me now my god I saw it on the Facebook thing I said ever since beautiful so constantly have recourse to prayer chases the ways of the demons and like I said it chases away your own evil thoughts and those patterns and habits that have thought that you have and so it's a habit we all need to get into replacing like I mean it's like try to like confront them but then like put them back in the corner where they can't like where they can't attack me but then like they really can't door like defenseless really and they can't really do anything you know but try yeah Satan is a chicken he's he's a wimpy little weakling and all his demons are very yea weak and useless it's it's just the power of suggestion where they can seduce you and lure you with some great palm promise of power and pleasure and all that but it's it's just a bunch of empty lives and they cower as soon as you summon Jesus or Mary or Joseph or any of Joseph is another one another one that terrifies the Saints but also see that terrifying but all of the saints don't really like that little terror of demons st. Joseph so we've got a lot of resources a lot of power and it's not our power it's the power of God right it's God you know yeah so what are you excited about these days that you're learning are you reading the early church fathers are you reading the Bible are you reading the company's and Bible and I'm watching YouTube videos usually on Catholic Answers or EWTN I love us I love that tunnel yeah like I have my Catholic apps but I really have to get new tablet so I can add more right now I'm actually trying to ask my staff if I could like get a new tablet you know which staff is like independent living place you know I'll come in like a uh I don't know a group home there's like something like that where like I'm more independent and you know okay I can move around by myself nice do you still get to see fat the family that you want to see yes I do I got to see my parents usually my dad comes up and take Ebola in you yes very nice so are you being instructed by a priest or a religious or labia um actually I have a couple um Deacon Hodge he's from st. Charles Borromeo and Harlem nice and he said yeah um he runs the are say a class with his walk with uh Stacey I think is his wife so um him them too uh and also father Bernard he's like a Benedictine nun I'm about Benedictine a monk I meant nice and he's also a priest so he's at st. Joseph's st. Joseph's the Holy Family on 125th nice so whenever I'm on 125th I stopped by and I talked to him and he give me encouragement and like stuff I should do you know I'm going to look up right now if you don't mind the Confraternity of the precious blood if you don't mind the Confraternity of precious blood it's in New York I just want to ask you are you closing for your music that's my housemate no okay okay do you are you near Brooklyn at all I am ba9 dependent over there yet okay I say there's a Confraternity I belong to and it's in Brooklyn it's all be armed it's a Carmelite right and I it might be but I'm not sure it was a monastery in Brooklyn it's on 5300 Fort Hamilton Parkway in New York New York is that anywhere near you not it's in New York in New York City but I can't travel there but yeah it's it's it's some distance I could probably go there okay because I know like meeting April about it nice why do they limit your travel restrict your travel so see if I can handle it and see if like the Train me and travel training and get to be more confident yes and like um being able to handle by myself like um handling money and traveling the trains bosses you know okay make sure I know how to get around know what to do if a situation happen yeah is New York's is it a scary place isn't it a dangerous place like they show on movies it's it's somewhat yeah I I got I get around it quickly like I'm a fast Walker I'm really kind of okay and you have cheese's on your side so yeah it's like the sorts but you know I would yeah I would just go toward where groups of people are and like if some creepy person is following you just turn into a busy place and say I just need to be around people so I can feel safe because even when I was a kid I was bullied on my block and I would just go into a family home nearby and just say some guys chasing me and they would they ah somewhat but uh like more like jokes I couldn't handle okay like here we do your mom you do - mama - okay they were I don't know I didn't like them dirty jokes oh he's nasty not very respectful those probably come from Satan because Satan hates Mother Church and Satan hates the mother of God our Blessed Mother yeah so have you read or skimmed through the Catechism of the Catholic Church I have the Catechism actually my deacon gave me one I have it on my Kindle - it's on my Google I've gotta give them they're nice a bunch of books they're beautiful everything you need to know is basically summarized in there and lots of footnotes and you can do further reading based on that and then nothing down to reading it yet like actually front the back um because we're still learning about certain church teachings but you're saying to try to like because I know the Catechism can be quite confusing for some people am I correct it's a lot of information but it's pretty clear and straightforward it's clear and straightforward and somatically or compartmentalized and broken down into sections so it's easy to digest but you know those I remember those one time meeting father Bernard we do like this thing where like we pick a random page and see if God can like speak to us do it okay and we flip the page and actually he said a baptism of adults I was asking whether I was wondering was baptized for the baby or if I wasn't I said baptism of adults it was pretty cool nice so are you getting a conditional baptism are you getting I believes all there cuz um they're saying that it's gonna take some time to look at the book so I might be conditionally baptized okay it's just good because that's what I was thinking since the beginning of the yeah I might have to be conditionally back I since either my parents no or none of us know you know God knows a lot of what mm-hmm well I'm hoping and praying that you were not baptized because it's gonna be better for you because you're gonna have all of the consequences due to same way okay what are you gonna fresh slate baptism I know that when you're baptized as a baby good godparents which I never had godparents if I if I if I were baptized I wouldn't let them yeah that's great oh I think that's another sign I was in bath I said you know I hope so yeah but either way God is optimizing everything for you for your ultimate greatest happiness always so we don't we don't need to worry whatever happens is meant to be and your job is just to cooperate with all of God's graces that's it mm-hmm I remember um I remember I was doing a consecration to the Holy Angels and I felt like this whole again like the energy came over me with the neck with no negative thoughts yeah and actually I thought I was in the state of grace but I found out that it could have been the Holy Spirit like touching me yeah you know thanks I also I also remember a time where I was praying it was probably like the first time and I prayed actually wanting to pray and actually even had my conch leader next to me and actually I actually said 777 so I asked my dad he was like oh that's God watching you that's nice so your dad to believe her what what sort of faith turn has he been on my family's Catholic it's just like they believed but not as to how I believe really it's they're not like that devoted but just to know you know like they go to the funerals they go to the baptisms okay culturally Catholic and still they still love God I recommend you look into Blessed Bertolo Longo he's an ex Satanist and he became a Catholic and he promoted the Rosary that's me yeah Longo like long with an O on the end but he he's connected with our Lady of Pompeii but I'll send you some links are there many many people who have in a new age and in Satanism who come to the church and I had the privilege of meeting an exorcist a Catholic priest who is nitrous system he did some deliverance prayers for me for generational evil I also did give her her two-spirit spouses I did things with that okay I still it's like ice I like when people talk about marriage it gets me thinking about that yeah like oh no like I got away stop her from doing that or you know yeah you're elected you're connected to evil and you need to break the connection and myself there yeah there are there there's a because heaven and hell and purgatory and the economy of salvation and everything is legalistic in the sense that you make contracts with the demons and they're binding they're binding until there is always just you know I've tried to say like I break it in Jesus name you know yeah I reign fire from the sky we're just some ashes you know the answers and useless flood to yourself with the precious blood of Jesus just picture the water and blood flowing out of Jesus side at just cascading over you and your loved ones and your enemies energization I'm sorry visualization yeah I know sure if you're comfortable with it if you're comfortable always I could try just I've always considered visualization more anyways you can I guess it could be you can you can maybe you should take a firm stand against visualization because the early church fathers of the east say to avoid the visual visualization to empty your mind of visualization so it's a it is a path like it is a Catholic way and there's another school that says that we can use visualization but it's up to you and I think that you're probably in a situation where you should not double with visualization trauma I used to do it I used to do it it's up to you like I want to do with the Catholic Way you know exactly yeah you have to I got a little yeah so maybe imageless prayer is the best for you because I keep the future well I mean I think like for example I like to kiss religious objects that have been blessed like a crucifix rosary yeah even though I want to do like the old right blessings because what my father Bernard does he just does like blessed he's uh um sacramentals yeah you know they still work though because um I I remember one time I um I put the Rosary on my neck and then like it was like as of something left like a whole bunch of things up me like they were attached to my body it one hot let me it goes cool no I don't know it's on like all the time I want to look in the faith inside yeah we need to keep it very simple and free from any sort of superstition or anything like that and or any sort of self-reliance or anything but or any self love I I'm just noticing now our friend Nicola Chris ik is in the in the live chat and he's sending you love and prayers he's a really nice Catholic man and he's sending you some nice messages now just about how you've touched him with your testimony and so this this is Nicola Christic in the live chat you can see that once you watch the live stream when you play it back yep so just this is a shout-out to you Nicola thanks for watching thanks for being there god bless you love you thank you so what else are you excited about other than prayer the Saints God the church what's what other topics would you like to talk about like I know like I have a I have somewhat of a problem like buying a lot yeah yeah like I'll buy a rosary every chance I get yeah yeah been a bit of an obsessive personality type I can relate to that I'm gonna I'm very much like that myself so I can relate to that I'm probably on this spectrum it's just I've never been diagnosed with autism but a couple of my friends have suggested that I might be just because I have a laser focus but what about your dream life there's a lot of images a lot of demonic images that come to me in my dream life I'm praying to God to free me from that but what about your prayer your dream life can you talk a little bit about that if it's not too personal it's starting together like echoey okay do you have headphones oh yes plug them in and let's see if that helps okay the truth booth okay so we'll let him go ahead and do that I've been having audio problems ever since Windows updated as I said I have to look into it might be partly on my side it might be partly on Jesse's site but he's hooking up some headphones now I can see I'll see if it that improves the situation hear me yeah that sounds better actually I can't see your eyes though and down a little bit or raise your device up is it equity is it that we know can you hear me oh no yeah good okay so I have a lot of demonic dreams even now even though I've been 10 years of Catholic talk to me a little bit about your dreams oh are you self nightmares but I never have nightmares now like I never like it's like no nightmares good and even if there is it's something like I'm like okay nothing very scares me more I'm just like okay I usually laugh it's like scary movie it's like oh like it so it's like so cool died on Magnus's I used to have them and I would wake up screaming like especially was the goose most fast I remember one time like I I jumped about the goose bumps math and my parents had to get all the Goosebumps books out of how scoffs I mean sister had uh it was um I have like honestly horns like the the soul spirit spouses and succubi and thought it was like I could say sexual genes they're not trying to be weird or anything but like Gary's name's yeah that happened before um I had a dream about Hecate you know she is I guess a cotton who no no I'm coming like demonic dreams like the new image Oh had to take to take a goddess of witchcraft and well I and I had a dream about her at one time and one gene for and juice which now I know that those demons trying to think what else I think those are the only ones have you had any good Holy Catholic dreams about peace or being walking through a church or anything like that actually I've had one where um actually I was on my old campus and Christopher's there's multiple locations but I had a dream where I was on a bus and one of my staff was there and I could tell was an angel after I woke up and it was like oh going to be okay God's going to make away my missing days I wasn't even covered to Catholic yet I was like somewhat Provost it somewhat Catholic because I would try Protestant pears but then I'll hold the rosary sometimes or because I when I was on my old campus I wasn't allowed to soceity because of things I did in the past because I was like do which class woman Rosalie and whatnot I'll try to combine it to which my parents said I did no but I say I don't know because I didn't have a Bible or anything I had like I'd even see any passages until later about like know doing witchcraft or sorcery you yeah they stopped that and I had a hard time at that because I really didn't like that - did that because they I would say that I'm trying to change and do differentiate the ways I'm supposed to but they weren't really having it right when I got here in committee options I was allowed to do it because they saw that I was changing and a lot of things in the what's called up like the childcare plan wasn't like it's not the same as it was before like they're still seeing changes how often do you see your priest and your RCIA group every week okay and how many people are in your RCA group two or three nice and so I would imagine everyone's sharing a little bit about their journey into the church are they similar to your own journey or very different very different they're they don't have like the witchcraft thing they're more like other things yeah I'm trying in Pennsylvania like that like oh really something with Muslim I don't know okay okay very exciting well we're happy to have you in the church we're happy to welcome you into the church and you said that it was April 11th yep is that I have a I have a right of election on March 1st nice I'll go up st. Patrick's Day that's one for HP and I might even look at st. Patrick's where Bishop Fulton sheen was stationed I think so do you know him I know Timothy Dolan yeah so are the Archbishop of New York he's cool he's good I I haven't met him by feegan or my funny thanks I've always wanted me in face to face and just you know nice what do you think of our Holy Father The Vicar of Christ Pope Francis what do you think of him as a man and as I'm told yeah I've heard things about him like staying that plague he did things like but I don't really believe that he did that I just know that we're all human beings I say it's kind of like when he shot the woman can jiminy forgave her yeah and the thing is I'm kind of glad that they um like days they didn't do the Miss thing and Amazon because I like celibacy because like for me it when they can be sent to be married at the priest unless like a certain circumstance just like out of the church says about it I'm not trying to like hate on anybody or anything because I know like we're not supposed to hate people were supposed to love yeah and show love to them no matter who they are yeah um Pope Francis I heard these things about like idols that they did with the Amazon Senate and whatnot I don't know what to say about that just just know that Pope Francis is Catholic he doesn't worship idols we have to give the Holy Father the benefit of the doubt that he is Catholic that everything he teaches is in continuity with tradition that he's not breaking with tradition ever we have to give him that benefit of the doubt if we're going to be Catholic and I want to warn you if you're entering into the Catholic Church it's a it's a really messy and ugly world in the church because there are wolves in sheep's clothing those who claim to be more Catholic than the Pope yeah they're going to criticize the Pope they're going to be talking about how they have the truth they have the true way they have the true church and that those who follow Pope Francis are liberal or they're progressive or they're communist or they're you know it's there's a lot of hatred in the church so you have to be aware when you come into the church be aware to hear a lot of confusing dissident voices within the church and there are good Catholics who are peaceful calm and submissive and obedient and then there are rebels who want to stir things up create descend and with hatred and anger and everything else okay like I've heard of like people raising their arms during our Father and I'm not really a fan of that I don't know where they got that from but like I heard that you're not supposed to do it okay oh you know just beware beware the most I don't know beware I do want to make sure yeah but just be aware that there are people that seem very very Catholic but they're labeling themselves as traditionalists or conservatives just be aware that everything most of what they teach is good and wholesome and traditional but there's an underlying tendency to criticize Pope Francis there's an underlying tendency to demonize anyone that's not following their strict rigorous legalistic way and that the church is a mother she's very loving she's very generous she's very open and she gives us a lot of freedom of how we can worship how we can have devotions there's you know we need to have unity in essentials yes but we also need to have a healthy diversity in non essentials and we need to above all we need to have charity in all things so this is the prove the guiding principle and if you read the documents of Vatican 2 you'll see that Vatican 2 is a good and wholesome counsel of the church it's an ecumenical council and watch out please be aware of those who are so-called conservative Catholics or traditional Catholics they're good people and they have a lot of good things to offer but you need to be aware if they start denigrating the Holy Father if they start denigrating the new mosque the Novus Ordo mass you just need to be really cautious about that because our church is a very open and generous and loving mother she gives us a lot of freedom and it's not a legalistic rigorous t'k Church it's it's it's a Church of peace and love and of diversity and there's no antagonism in the bosom of Mother Church ok mm-hmm Varian also on I know like some people they say oh you can't receive in the hand or you're supposed to receive as a Tom yeah those are the traditional traditional Catholics they're lovely people most of what they teach is true but we are allowed we I have the permission by my bishop to receive in the hand I've only ever received in the hand here in Quebec it's the norm and I would prefer to receive on the tongue but that's not the that's not the situation here the bishop has given permission to receive in the hand that's how I've always done it that's how I entered into the church and I'm not going to cause a stink and to press for something something old-school more traditional even though I think I agree it's better but that's not what's happening in the church right now and like a ship is a good bishop what about like kneeling if I when I get the Eucharist or when I get the Eucharist I want a meal and then take the you could do that you can receive on the tongue if a priest Rafi if it priests refuses to give you the communion on the tongue when you're kneeling that priest has a problem okay you need to change changes or talk to the priest but some priests don't like some people some priests are very left and they're on the left and they're too liberal and you have to be aware of both sides the right and the left so I've certainly met a lot more priests that are way word on the left and I have met priests here in Montreal who are wayward on the right but on the internet I meet a lot of so-called traditional Catholics and conservative Catholics who are straying also from Jesus Christ they're straying from the center because they're critical of the church they're critical of the Holy Father the Vicar of Christ and they're stirring dissension so you have to be aware of those on the left and those on the right but I can always you can always reach out to me if you're having confusion in your particular parish or church that you attend Mass let me know because there are some things that are unacceptable there are other things that you just need to tolerate I know thing I do I know one thing I do like I said I do you know when say uh show your hand for a sign it's Keith it's like that and I usually I shake hands first for people but then if I can't read them and I do the peace sign you know which peace sign is on show me rip them no I don't know if that's good don't do that no do you can what I do is I just do a little nod like that like like a wave you can do like just a wave open hand but I would not recommend this okay yeah no I usually do it no but that's something like I mean there's there there's an abuse in the in that section of the mass usually a lot of people go up and down the aisle shaking everyone's hand and kissing everyone and making a big production I'm very uncomfortable with that but that happens at some parishes but I just prefer to just give a simple acknowledgement or if I'm very close then maybe a handshake okay so don't I go to the other side of the aisle today I don't I mean there's some parishes that's the norm but I'm personally on I comfortable you need to be you need to find a church where you're comfortable with the practices right mmm so whatever you're comfortable with and like I said Mother Church is a mother she's open and she's not gonna chastise you for expressing your love of neighbor in that way just do it you're comfortable with mm-hmm I see so is there anything else you want to talk about we're approaching 45 minutes here what sort of topics have we not touched on yet we touched a little bit on prayer what about the sacraments I want to talk about the sacrament of reconciliation or confession very exciting very very exciting have you done it yet and are you poor are you but I wasn't sure if I was baptized ok Neos baptized right so like I went in a doc confession but I didn't really feel that much I just felt happy that I was well nothing my dad was like oh one day I am baptized one day and not wha right but are you looking forward to confessing your sins in the future on a regular basis and unburdening yourself in that way yes I am and also it's the priesthood is right for me I would really want to like session yeah have I got like what I have to do I'm gonna try to like open up more because I kind of like I'm shy sometimes something I know tight alike beak morning like advocate for myself and you know be comfortable talking you know well you're doing a good job here very impressed with your openness and your ability to communicate and your intelligence because you you've obviously gone through a lot with your journey into Catholicism and a little bit of back and forth with the New Age and with Wicca and everything else and you obviously you're being guided you're allowing yourself to be guided by the Holy Spirit into all truth and it's such it's such like I said it's such a rich treasury of truth that you'll hold your whole lifetime is not enough to really explore all the goods and all the treasures of the church but at least you're entering in and you're excited about it and you're gonna discover more and more and more I wanted to ask you if you've heard of Saint John Vianney the curators he's left I have famous priests when I came John Vianney I forgot how he looked like my personally I think he's the greatest hair nothing I forgot yeah I've heard this music I think he's like the same piece yep I'm like that yeah exactly so do you like the parlament waiting yeah I think he had sort of like straight hair balding head straight hair like Jim Bob but do you have do you have a capacity for memorizing a lot of facts because of your autism I do yes why come for like what I like I can learn a lot it's like my stepmom she says I absorb information like this one just yeah I'm really doing information Wow there's a Catholic game called st. cards that has all the same not all the Saints but a lot of the Saints on little cards and I got it for Christmas and it's beautiful there are many many saints on these cards and there are little factoids about when they were born which century they were born which century they died and what they're the patron saint of if the patron saint of anything or if they were apostle or if they were a virgin or if there were member of a religious order if they were a priest different facts like that just the context of their lives is really it's an interesting way to augment your prayer life and your devotion to the Saints but it's something that you could dig into the lives of the saints so rich and so many lives the young idle age people old people everyone in between who who are some of your favorite Saints if you were to name sort of the top three or four all right um 10:15 Alaska finked arrived of the through the mill our nice Benedict um st. john paul ii 3 Patrick Patrick here yeah nice st. Jude Jude arias yeah and thoughts of Virgin Mary she's one of them because she's also singing but the highest thing you can be have you read bits of st. Faustina's Diaries I started reading it it's good I like it yeah it's very good very good and Saint Benedict he's very good for chasing away the demons - have you got the metal I have it metal actually on here on my bag thing oh I had my rosary I had all bunch of those really it's always a fit on your person ah you keep that on your person I do yes thanks have used it my staff my they have staff I know like some of them they don't like that like okay I am looking up stuff like playing well you know I usually play sometimes on them and they have like on like a Peter I usually search up the rosary or something and I play it again I got the rec center sometimes thanks have you got friends there in the facility where you're living now yes my friend Harrison uh he's Jewish he actually has a YouTube channel on her reversing Gottfried arm he does my transformers and you know the even my other cottage he's another resident running indeed and living building thing seems to me the yeah he's one of my best friends um he's Jewish but um we play video games that no thanks and so we were talking a little bit before the interview and you mentioned how you have respect for Judaism have you learned a lot about Judaism before the Messiah came like the age of Judaism before Jesus time are not so much not really about willing to learn because like I I know a Judaism is kind of like a older version that you've got one saying is uh like Jesus huge Jewish in a sense right yep think of the truth yeah he was raised that way you know they are the chosen people there that people chosen by God right so you know what's cool another reason why I decided to not do a new age is because basically if you look in the Bible all the gods that tried to like do stuff God to feed it them yes Egyptian of all I think the fire rain from the sky a short time become disease so something happens you said you looked at uh I think if that could be where's my dad Mondo's um chromatic - but uh there's the Israelites the Greeks took them over and they tried to do things and God wasn't having that so he saved mm-hmm it's so cool it shows how powerful God is and how really is and how he's there to protect you no matter what I don't never give you anything you know mm-hmm have you got favorite passages or verses in the Bible that often come to mind in different circumstances in your in your conversion John 3:16 um of the world yep Philippians I could do all things through Christ who strengthens me I think it's psalm 119 a light a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path I forgot the other one there's another ask and you shall ask and you shall receive yeah asking yourself if I'm I'm not going to be open to you means amazing amazing if you if you look at the Old Testament patriarchs you know we have any bruh ham we have al way to point the way to Jesus do you do you have favorites among the patriarchs Moses or Noah or David or do you have favorites among the way they really gave it it is pretty cool I like how it gave it is um Samson is okay it's just probably because of the strength the Angels I like a part where the angel weather where this pagan general he tried to like do something to issue like army and the angel came into more than a and destroyed them and then they woke up and saw like all the dead body oh wow whose big one just one and you should do that very well whatever women any women in the Bible come to mind hmm I I started like I usually watch this show even though it's like college date super book pick the kids show but like they they really do a good job at reliable in their way like the animation stuff like as well as a in school what's another one not many other one not only yeah you can get familiar with them as he read and study the Old Testament there are quite a few women and it's very colorful colorful stories in the Old Testament and in the new there was a statement by our friend nickel in the in the live chat he said something about the real presence in the Eucharist can you comment on the real presence in the Eucharist did you have any problem believing and then real presence on the yelling I never had a problem with like it's clearly him and I watched I've seen pictures of like the miracles and blood comes up and like you see his face on it sometimes and also it was cool I like seeing those pictures there shows that he got you there and I'm pretty I'm hoping that like I I'm pretty sure that he'll Jesus will probably help me feel him in me when I received youth with something maybe a tingle or something yeah you don't need to feel anything you just need to have faith this is the period of time where we're being trained in faith we're not being showered with feelings good feelings and magical feelings okay yeah so don't expect that but if you get a tear in your eye once in a while or you get your hair standing on end or if you get a feeling of peace and calm that's about it thank God for that but if you don't thank God for that to always thank God because even if even if you don't feel on anything there's still an effect maybe if you don't feel but still there exactly yeah yeah so we're gonna wrap up now I like my guests to leave the final thought something positive something uplifting something edifying just speak from your heart Jesse as you always do and leave us with a nice positive thought place if like you're struggling like aanenson or with problems God is always there even if there's not a way he will make a way there's there's always a way that he'll made that you you can find and you'll reach to where you want you to be now if you are like tormented by a devil or anything just know God already defeated him on the cross and that it was power and whatnot that's nothing in compared to God the devil has only a grain of sand while God is a whole cosmos barely anything God can just blink his eyes and make anything happen he's that powerful like he can just cause like stars to appear just by walking or even like this is simple action and something that happened and if you don't feel him he'll he'll open himself up to you you just have to be willing the sacraments they actually help as um you you'll see they're SEC and they're helped you on your way even if you don't do that that's like we're just saying like even if you don't do Blessed Virgin Mary she is a great help Buddhism although she cares for children ever since Jesus gave her pajama on to us oh the angels are always there umm they always are there to help even if you say that angel of God of my guardian gear dark hair is always good um mmm-hmm the rosary is really good the Ford that can crush the enemy like I remember like dis compliment Scala saying how I put the Rosary on my neck and feeling some demons they left those really powerful feeling showed the power that Mary or got the work through even the smallest things to make a big impact amazing thank you so much Jessi it's a real pleasure to me you're a joy and ray of sunshine you're a ray of sunshine in this dark dark dark dark and confused world we need more people like you young people who are on fire for the faith young people who have wrestled with the demons young people who have decided to choose life because that's when it comes down to basically we can choose life or not and it's not a complicated situation we just need to - no matter what no matter what anybody thinks God always he always will be on your side amen brother thank you so much we'll talk soon keep in touch okay mmm god bless you you kiddo and all of you out there who are kiddo and all of you out there who are welcome thank you very much bye