CVS Live Guest - 2022-10-10 - Isabel Juncal

Author Streamed Monday October 10th, 2022

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Isabel reached out in the comments and I invited her on to talk about her faith-journey. She is a Catholic revert born and raised in Argentina. She was raised in what she describes as a somewhat luke-warm Catholic home, but is now on fire for the faith. It was fun chatting with her and I hope she'll come back.

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These YouTube transcripts are generated automatically and are therefore unformatted and replete with errors.
serious good good yeah excellent so we are live I'm here with Isabel hunka did I say that okay yeah that's correct yeah very nice to meet you thanks for uh taking the time to come on and chat with me how are you been doing of course I'm doing great actually I've been beat you're a catechist or for kids for children dancing I know too much because I don't trust me I'm seeing that like God put me in the spot I don't know why because I don't have the amount of knowledge for example that you have or that other people have I'm really ignorant but I try to do my best how old are you and where are you geographically I am 22 years old and I'm from Argentina in the north part oh that's where you are right now yeah exactly wow yeah you know do you know that today is uh uh Thanksgiving for Canadians it's our Thanksgiving oh really it's it's the day that I got off for Thanksgiving so I don't know if it's today officially today but I got the day off of work so that was good well I have the day off too but it's not because of Thanksgiving do you have Thanksgiving in Argentina no okay why are you giving why are you giving thanks it's a pilgrim thing from when these when the you know the first uh uh I don't know what what the politically correct term is for the people that came from Europe to the Americas okay they lived with the amerindian people and they had this sort of uh these settlements and exchanges and there was a Thanksgiving uh Thanksgiving ritual that was established in the tradition of the American peoples in North America and you're you're down way down in the southern tip of South America right yeah exactly the south is but you said yeah you're in the northern the southeast you mean the country but the country but you're in the northern part of that okay yeah exactly okay I mean Argentina has the end of the world like parts and the Pope the pope is from there although he's got Italian Roots I believe I hear most people are like from Spa from from Spain I'm From Italy Italy ninth percent or so not too many quieter than the other South Americans we like to call ourselves the Europeans the last American people you have fewer Aboriginal or amerindian types or uh African slave people that were initially slaves and now became liberated like that's a lot of yeah a lot of people in North America and Central America and so America were slaves at one point from Africa and they uh here no you don't have me actually like there's no like black people here no like not at all you need to travel to there's a lot of native people there oh okay I mean there's a lot of mixed people like uh Native Native with like Spanish people of course they're next of course all everyone here is like from them and we have the Inca the Aztec and uh there's one other one that I'm aware of of the native peoples there but which are you the Aztecs no they weren't they were not here oh yeah but I'm saying generally generally in South America yeah I don't know how they're mapped out onto the South America but do you know which people was around your area uh I don't know the translation in English but I asked uh but it's like native people yeah well there are many many sub-tribes but I think the large the large classifications that we that we learn about or that I learned about were the Aztecs and the Incas and there's another one I can't remember that no no those are like totally different types because we didn't have like that hierarchy here no no no here are divided depending on the zone that they leave some were collectors other like where like Nomads and otherwise like Hunters depending on the song they lived rather than the hierarchy yeah yeah okay okay so let's uh get into the Catholic background let's get into your background uh if you're from Argentina probably there's a lot of cultural Catholicism so you've probably were raised with that talk a little bit about what made your journey unique from an early age like how you were exposed and how you felt as a very young child even before the Age of Reason which sort of Impressions that were made by the smells and the bells in the Catholic church and these sorts of things or maybe you had a grandmother that would pray and you'd see her praying and that made an impression talk about those early Impressions and some of the things that guided you toward Christ and his church and then maybe away from Christ in his church and then back to his church or whatever happened yeah well first of all Argentina like we like but in the Constitution we declare ourselves a Roman Catholic country yeah I like I think it's a second article or so um but yeah I was born in a Catholic a cultural Catholic Family we could say oh lukewarm however you want to say it um that's pretty common There and Everywhere yes like I call myself a Catholic but I go I rarely go to church or like oh even now yeah oh oh no like I have uh family members for example a casting that didn't get married in the Catholic church but still baptize her child okay okay so you're you're not you're not getting in touch with me because you're on fire for the faith and you've you've come back full force as a revert that's uh excited you're not all excited because you've rediscovered the the truth of the church is that because that's what I thought it must be I mean uh let's let me start sure these are lines explain the journey yeah okay so I was born like my parents they have a long cursive a relationship they they date each other for 11 years and they got married and they had me when they were old and my dad was like certified my mom was like 33. I have an older brother he's not a cop um okay sorry let's get distracted you can jump around you can jump around and follow the stream of Consciousness you're one of how many kids uh we are too I'm the youngest okay yeah exactly yeah okay so my mom baptized me in the church uh months later when I was a month after I was born and then she got me into the communion in the cathedral or the casino the eldest in my entire country yeah is the version of Carmen I think it's called the carlites yeah yeah oh wow that one yeah and I discovered that recently that it's like that's pretty cool yeah what is the name of your city Santiago de San Diego Then Estero Del Estero yes exactly Estero means uh like something related with water I don't know how to translate it okay and Santiago which sent us that in English nice it's not the same it's not a scent is this is the name of the guy that founded the city okay I think yeah um so yeah I got communion and then there was this strong influence of why I was motivated to go to church with my mom and my brother my father was never a fan of the Catholic church he considered himself Catholic but he does he is a Catholic in spirit but not religious he doesn't like the religious part so uh no with my brother we always like going to mass not because of the mass itself on the cathedral but because on the corner of the street like at the Cathedral there was like a hot dog shop where my mom would buy us the hot dogs after Mass so during math will get so excited to get the Hat yeah those are motivations when that shop close all the animation was gone yeah were there other kids from the church there that you're like a dozen kids trying to buy hot dogs or was just you and your brother and now a lot of people went there there was like the big hot dogs they were really popular here in my city yeah okay what do you put on do you just put mustard or do you put sauerkraut and what do you no it put like mayonnaise and like all right ketchup I like mini french fries lettuce and okay tomato yeah it's really no pickles no pickles no nothing sweet nothing too sweet I guess ketchup is no no no no we are all salty or also we don't tend to there are our culture with when it comes to food we're very simple yeah do you know about this is way off topic but do you know about those do you know about the white corn that's very fat white corn it's a white yeah we have yellow corn you have yellow corn okay you don't know the the the white corn because I just bought it I saw it at grocery store in the Latino section I bought it and I didn't know what to do with it but I thought you might know about it it's a Cherokee uh specialty I think so maybe that's I'm not sure where the Cherokee were but anyways in another country yeah I think we're very simple we tend to eat is meat is almost in every meal we have because our meat is the best you know I eat it just sort of out of sense of obligation I actually started eating meat in order to give up meat on Friday because Catholics are supposed to give up yes yes but I wasn't eating meat so I couldn't give it up so I started eating me too but uh so yeah back to the hot dog and the motivation how old were you how old were you and your brother I was like eight and my brother was 11. okay or something like that my brother was also like doing communion at that time I was too young I did come in at like 13. so we still went like the cathedral like every Sunday up until I was like 14 I think then we started going to my Parish that's more nearby and now me and my mom only my brother my dad or not in the picture well my dad was not in the first place but my brother got away um and my father will take us because my mom doesn't drive she knows how to drive but she doesn't drive and then I will start putting up like a five oh I don't want to go I'm tired like what time laziness uh at like nine oh okay pretty early it was not that early but I'm being lazy um or like I don't want to go it's boring um oh no I have actually a very like important point of mine really I you know 15 birthday parties here like a very like Sierra yeah exactly how can you say it Quinceanera Quinceanera yeah exactly and I went to my parishes nearby me I went with high-waisted shirts that were in like leather kind of hi where's the shirt and I was like in the front pill that's like sideways so yeah like The Audacity Of because after Mass that was at night I had like the birthday party of my friends well I was going out this lady said go here she put a black blanket on you no why why I hear a mouse like that I'm too shame and well I was in the like on the way to my my friend birthday party I was like who does this lady think she is I came to mass I made the effort and she's bothering me with my outfit God loves me and yeah God loves you God loves you but the the men like I'm a man uh so the men are distracted by beautiful young no I know that's a fact you should know that and you should be careful I know you should be careful even at the birthday party no but that was the first time that someone did something like that to me well it slapped me like with my pride and I felt hurt because I knew like like realize not I knew deep deep down she was right and I listened Raw but my pride was still high or too strong that I like left church and I I have like less energy to go every like Sunday and then I started going to University and stopped caring about my appearance like not gaining weight but like stop putting efforts and going like with the star face to school and like who cares and I started um getting interested in boys so I started no no no not like that so I I started my journey with femininity and I've started searching for how to look prettier hard to lose weight and I started with the second part and and then like uh started seeing like Protestant videos of femininity and more like that because they had more relevancy in American YouTube and then I started reading books about that and I found Dietrich Bond Hill brand I don't know if you heard about him yeah yeah I found the video that he talked about purity oh wow exciting and his wife is pretty exciting too I don't know if you know I really like yeah yeah yes yes Alice yes wow and that how old were you at that time that was before the Panasonic started no that was at that time around that time three years ago two two years three years ago 2020. okay right okay the start of 1020 yeah okay oh and I did yoga before that okay because to lose weight flexibility yeah I didn't know about like danger of that and I read that and that just blew my mind and I'm like that was it nice nice yes and then I started reading John Paul uh John Paul II I start reading Humanity uh I'm sorry all about the sexuality but in a pure form because when I was in high school and the first year of college I was all about reading novels okay but the bad ones then the the one for uh young women young girls that are like pornography to women oh okay okay not like 50 Shades of Gray or something like that but you know toxic love secular love yeah yeah yeah um I've never experienced anything with the boy though so thankfully it didn't like may like the consequence be bigger yeah um so yeah and then I started going to church before the pandemic by myself because for the first time you're going with your own decision to go you're good good will elimination and uh with uh Pure Heart striving for people yeah wow and because I also had like my driver's license so I have like more independency and you just bring your own hot dogs with you every time you go now face message when's Mass asking when it's Mass and I think it was yeah it was in the morning I answer the church building the parish and I started crying but you don't know how because I'm a crybaby okay so just minutes all the way of my sins wow like this came crashing and out cried the entire Mass I cried wow like stopped I was sobbing and and like the confessions that I had with the priests the priest was the same that uh made what with the communion he was in the cathedral all that time oh so he was in my journey since like the beginning I cry they can finish my confessions for like one hour each time poor Prince or like 40 minutes wow yeah and I would cry a lot and I would cry a lot for like the first six months or or a year uh because I still feel the pain of the things that I did and how I heard Christ and myself and um all then I also another thing that helped me was father reporter yeah he also helped me with that yeah and I I read thanks to him like the seriousness of demons and like exorcisms my grandfather actually took part in an exorcism okay as a volunteer like a helper yeah he was a charismatic okay there was one exorcism here in my city only one like in like 60 years and he was part of that and there was these Priests of school father Pierre and and he helped him by praying and he had to fast for a long period of time and pray and got to confession like a lot yeah all the people that were there and after they took the demon out of the lady my mom told me that the embody hurts dinner yeah yeah in their house yeah why not yeah why not well to be to to to be the subject of exorcism you have to have good will you have to want to be freed and liberated so these are good people these are generally speaking good people who allow themselves to undergo exorcism otherwise they would just say no I like my demon and I'm happy with my demons no the thing is with that girl I see my mom told me because she knew that I think like her aunt she was under the uh like the aunt was her tutor and the arm was rich or something like that and she casted a spell on that woman that's how she got that's even inside of her yeah it was very serious the sad thing is that girl that got exercise is noted about Catholics she is now or she's not she's not she's not sad thing no oh you know yeah she tries no because she tries like to forget that happen oh okay okay okay uh but going back uh yeah so I went back to Mass and I was doing my own journey I would wake up myself but the alarm and after like four months or five months of going my mom told me I want to go to math with you next Sunday okay it's gonna be my surprise and I get it and now she comes with me each Sunday nice but my brother and my father not are not do not want that and another theme that I battled with before converting totally was with submission okay oh oh okay oh business and submission to the pope yes yes yes yes because you discovered uh set of accountism and red red track no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no nothing like that not actually nothing like that and I was like oh like before kind of like a Libertarian you do you either me thanks to the novels like oh let those like homosexuals do their stuff they're not bothering you something like that right yeah um and Bud then uh it hit me like are you truly seeing him with Charity or are you following the media or what the media says he says and then I started instead of following what the media says I go to the primary source of things yeah and read it by myself and 99 of the time they misquote him or something like that or mistranslate him because thankfully I know the first language of the bow yeah so there's for example uh casamiente matrimony are different in Spanish the meaning but they're the same in English is the meaning of getting legally married and matrimony is a sacrament of matrimony so sometimes and he says misinterpreted because there are moreism in Argentine Argentinian like language that um but yeah and then I started getting humble and saying like maybe he's right and I'm wrong maybe I don't know everything and Maybe got a hierarchy is there for a reason and to guide me and not follow my feelings or something like that because from following from what I did lead me to nowhere yeah he he can also be wrong about certain things and you can be right about certain things that's fine he's a human being but you still need to no but I'm talking about faithful things yeah yeah like Faith things not like particular opinions and stuff like that yeah um like why does he have like infallibility why he's a human he cannot and then I started reading more about that I wanted to read say some of the quietness but I couldn't okay I couldn't no thank you for me give it your friend likes don't send John Paul II all of that I love that language but Saint John uh Saint Thomas Aquinas is still has too much logical like kind of like manly language for me that might bring cannot grasp yeah interesting um yeah and oh I also read Cardinal Sarah books okay I'm not aware of those books and also I read a lot of books and now I'm reading uh Saint Francis of sales oh nice yeah he lived here in the period of time in my city no way yes wow and we have a parish there in his name wow he's one of my favorites one of my oldest really oh yeah yeah yeah amazing yeah and we have a museum like where he lived and there's a school like there's three things there like where did where he lived yeah and um so yeah I don't think I I'm missing anything that's pretty incredible so you really did you really did come back to the fullness of the faith and you're on fire for the faith because at first in the beginning of this interview you said lukewarm Catholic and the cultural Catholic and I thought you were talking about yourself but no you're oh no no no no no no I actually we get like in arguments with my father because of that okay he actually is not encouraging of me growing my faith no he's like why are you going so much so many so much at Mass well you're going to fail in college when in fact it's the opposite and more motivated to do things yeah what are you studying I can't see okay so you know I've been told by a priest a monk priest in the Catholic church in the confessional Booth what are you doing confessing why are you confessing so often what are you doing here on a beautiful Saturday day why aren't you out being a regular man or boy or whatever and I said well there are Graces that come from confession and I want to Avail myself of those Graces yeah and uh I mean why I didn't I didn't ask the man the priest I didn't ask him why are you trying to deter me from coming to confession like but uh it's a bit disheartening it's a bit disappointing it's sad it's tragic why is this man who's a priest of God he's a monk living a religious life and he's trying to dissuade me from availing myself of the sacraments I don't understand that unless it's just a challenge it's just unless it's a challenge maybe a question uh maybe just a question there are no bad questions he was just asking the question to see what I said or maybe he thinks so that I'm insane that I'm uh too in love with the church or too scrupulous or something I don't know I don't know but I just said I'm here for The Graces of the of the sacrament like what like what his son of voice like different voice I think that's well it was just like it was just like um it's just the same tone of voice if if a friend were genuinely surprised like hey what are you doing here you should be like uh out with like like let's say let's say there's a there's a party next door with a swimming pool and everyone's swimming and having fun and then your friend works in the library next door and you go into the library a lot and he's like what are you doing you're a beautiful young woman you should be at the pool party yeah just like hey what are you doing like you're you're not acting normal like hey did you know there's a pool party with all your friends are having fun in the swimming pool what are you doing here at the library it's just like a concern like hey what's wrong with you like why don't you go and be normal yeah why do you think it won't be normal so that would be very understandable a nice friendly gesture from your friend that works at the library but for the priest in the confession Booth I don't yeah that's the same thing so I don't I don't want to judge this man I don't know what his motivation was and uh you know frankly who cares I'm gonna just do what I what I think I need to do for my eternal salvation and all the priests in the world can try to deter me from going to question are going to mask that's fine go for it yeah maybe maybe it's a test from God yeah he says for example when I was I got I love social media like not in the way that not in that way but for example I deleted my old social media which was secular and I created another account and only followed like Catholic Pages or like and sane quotes and all of that and I used to follow an account that I already discovered was from like an sspx Church goer okay and how did I discovered because on a publication it says so you got another service Mass don't if preferable you pray at home and I was like what is this what is this like this is strange and then I discover all of that and recently about set of account system and yeah I just found like this their claims like scandalas I don't even want to click on videos because it's so scandalized like one of this video were saying like Saint John Paul 2 was the Antichrist yeah no oh you know the interesting part of my story in I went to I'm going to call uh Catholic college and all mines are years teenage years I went to Catholic High School nice and I had an experience with Jesus Christ on my last year not my second to last year of high school well we were on we have like subjects uh doctrine of the church and we have all of that spiritual education like since the beginning um is bad outside they don't teach anything it's like be good like have compassion and all of that so it's not no substance no Deputy yeah yeah exactly and oh yeah we were doing like a he put music on like imagine you are yeah imagining and not like Star it might close your eyes and there's music in the background that it's to play and like start imagining you're running on the field and there's like uh house middle of it I don't know why imagine it's like a tree house okay so I went out of the tree house and like there was Jesus in it and I like I couldn't hear the teacher anymore like they were chasing it and just was saying like I love you to me and then I started solving I wanted to well the teacher's class it was inside of the Church of my high school and I knew I always believe in God always believed that Jesus was real and even though I had the experience I still refused to go to church see that Austin how often it I was because I thought like how can Jesus church be described if if he was his church that was what I was thinking um but I guess we're just not comparable to God our human beings that form part of the church yeah well you know I don't know if you if you're very familiar with my podcast and the episodes that I put out but I do talk a lot about the threefold nature of the church the church militant the church suffering and the church triumphant and it's just it's just by default a lot of people Catholic and non-catholic alike a lot of people assume that when we talk about the church we're talking about the church militant and exclusively about the church militant but the church militant is not pure the church militant is a mixed bag of wool clothing and yeah the purification can happen here and it has to begin here and if we look at the lives of the Saints they were pure they were purified here they did their Purgatory here but for most people for most people it's a big hot mess and a lot of people are going to have to be purified in purgatory sadly it's sad to say but that's the way it's going to be and then only then uh do we have at the height of perfection the church yeah triumphant and the church triumphant is what I talk about when I talk about the church the purity of the church the Holiness of the true church and the beauty of the church and there are glimpses of that here Below in the church militant of course there are glimpses of it yeah but there are also glimpses of antichrist in the church there are glimpses of Hell in the members of the church and I'm not making this up this is real this is this is something that I know with absolute certainty because I yeah I am a sinner I am part of the church militant I am not pure I am not perfect and I have a I have a mixture like Saint Paul talked about the war within him with the Flesh and the spirit and it's a bottle but once you're in purgatory you're just happy that you're on your way and you can't pray for yourself but you can pray for others and others can pray for you and so there's that exchange and there's that communion of saints that takes place even in the church militant with the church suffering and of course the church triumphant so I think it's very very very important that we not get too excited about corruption in the church because the corruption the corruption is rampant here below and yeah in purgatory the corruption is dissolving away it's being purified by the love of God and in the church triumphant there is absolutely zero corruption so that's the church marrying body and soul in heaven Christ body and soul in heaven that's the church this is a pale Shadow here below the church militant so I think it's very very very important to always remember that yourself and to always rely to remind those people whether they're set of acantists or whether the Protestants or whether they're interested to remind them about what the church is and that three-fold division because otherwise you'll just say well yeah the church is a joke because of the corruption apparent corruption a real corruption yeah that's here in this Fallen World but that would mean we had to miss the point that would be really to miss the point entirely I actually like search for like RMS against certificate are like sspx speakers um truth is out there you just have to look for it in the right places right and I've seen a video of a testimony of an accident that was like big on YouTube that's inverted I don't know if you heard of it I think it was like paleo oh God oh paleo crack no way Jeremy Bannister I think that's his name yeah something like that and I oh yeah and I've seen here he talks about uh he talks about Saint Francis de Sales book see yeah that one I read that one now and it's the the controversies of the Catholic church or something like that yep and yeah it's the same trouble that I was like it reminded me of the same shows that I was having before truly converting not reverting uh like what Authority God has given you like to pass all these judgments uh especially in the poll like I said to you which I struggled before and also when I was reading like those topics there was a lady that I talked to on the morning like those days that just came up to me and said she's troubled but with loudmouthing yeah or like gossiping bad gasping the priests like if somebody will talk bad she will like stay silent and be like complicit of that or like talk badly too yeah and she told me that one day she were she she went to confession and then she went like to the elcares and started like praying there right not uh okay rich but like today and she felt God was saying to her why are you happy you need to apologize to someone and he was she was like what and she knew that she had to apologize to that priest because of all of the bad gossiping and saying something bad in his name without like charity or like treat judgment because we don't know what is happening in the lives of these people because especially the priests because I've heard that someone is saying nothing to say like Satan wants them to fall the hardness that's the strongest because they are the leaders right of their community and she felt such a way off of her shoulders and now he she felt what true charity is and she could comprehend the priests in a more like in a better manner and she will never bad mouth anyone or anyone or anything nice yeah one of my favorite scents is Saint Augustine oh yeah fourth Century or thereabouts and uh he had a plaque allegedly he had a plaque in his office which read here we speak badly of no one we do not speak badly of anyone so it's it's uh and Pope Francis uh has on his website his biography paragraph that talks about here minister yeah Advocate and what he's all about just a short couple of paragraphs but within those paragraphs he talks about how it's a grave sin to uh wound the character the the the reputation of any human being so there's something about the Catholic saints and the Catholic teaching in general about the Dignity of the human and how we need to respect um even you know and love our enemies as yeah in fact as we're taught to do and it's not easy it's easier to insult them put them down and uh even people that we disagree with even if they're not technically our enemies it's just too easy so a lot of the Saints talk about this this all-encompassing flame of Charity and how we have to treat each other and Christ died for each and every human and there's an invitation for each human to repent and so as long as a human being is alive we have to have hope that they can that they can convert and by the grace of God they will say yes to the opportunities that they have to convert so it's hard to live that out it really is hard especially if you're tired after a long day and you're on yeah people are annoying you in traffic or whatever it is yeah I'm not saying it's easy but you know if we can work on that by the grace of God we can definitely grow in our love right like that lady's stories we're touching for that reason like yeah exactly and also like I've recently seen a video of Father Reaper talk about that it's about gospel and and he said um I don't if I not I don't remember talking about it I've also like got really interested in modesty because I got really interested in reading the life of Saint Arabia and he was really harsh at the modesty on women I read that he wouldn't even let in in confession the lady that had like skirt like up the knee upwards yeah so I will start uh wearing more modest clothes so femininity in the Holy way in the true way that has to be right in the right way but inside of me like I will see women dressed in Boulder clothes or revealing clothes and I will say like oh what is she wearing how is she not a shame and then I don't know if this was my spiritual growth or anything and then I started realizing instead of feeling anger I start feeling sadness how lost this lady has to be that she thinks her worth is in her body rather than her soul and I stopped doing that and in the video of Father reporter that talk about that talks about how some rad tracks and you kill them are like traditional Catholics something like that some I'm not saying all uh have this whole years and now attitude that sometimes it's for damaging than it's um healing yeah because pride pride is the worst and spiritual pride is the worst Pride so that's a danger that's a danger for those who are otherwise very whole well very uh ostensibly very holy and Jesus talks about this in his day with the Jews of his day how they are making great efforts to look good and to do the right thing and to follow the law and to present present a white clean exterior while inside its filth and hypocrisy and Corruption so Jesus talked about that and the church warns us against that hypocrisy and that spiritual Pride which is all too easy to fall into if we are excited about our religion because religion is easy and faith is difficult religion is what we adopt when we're too weak to have strong faith because my faith goes up and down but it I could always I can always go through the motions I don't always go through the motions but I can yeah always go through the motions and it's easier to go through the motions than it is to take the time to humble myself and to to be silent in prayer and to Avail myself of the sacraments and these sorts of things it's just easier to go through the motions so it's a danger for everyone it was a danger for the greatest Saints um I I can imagine the struggle of uh even the Blessed Virgin Mary as she walked on the earth because she was the most pure but yeah shh How many shortcuts we're presenting themselves to the Blessed Virgin Mary where she could put on appearances and she maybe knew the right thing to say or to do but she would always because she loved God above all and she loved God most perfectly by the grace of God yeah she would she would put in the effort to always remain humble so that's that's the model that's the Ultimate model is Jesus Christ and his mother and of course their one flesh in a mystical way because Christ and his church are one yeah no I I actually was reading the life of Mary yesterday the book who's that the life of the Virgin Mary as seen by the mystics okay okay who wrote that and uh those are the compilation of uh writings of okay but this is a physical book that you have no I have it on Kindle okay okay yeah cool maybe send me the link for that sure sure yeah because I read on my Kindle too yeah yeah I have bad sides I prefer reading um but yeah because sometimes I don't know how to handle things because I tend to suffer within patients um and I've seen like I've read the things that Mary had to go put through even though she never seen and how the other nuns nuns were your gun thing like they're like uh very virtuously right very virtuous like they will that mouth her like a lot because the Envy like oh like I don't know the rabbi I don't know the the Jewish one like oh she took my thing she robbed me or like oh she did that against me she took my things without my permission oh really this is revealed through a mystical Vision to a certain Saints yeah I think later some go whereas uh were Saints afterwards wow after they die and um uh there's the names of a lot there's a lot of things that's in the introduction that's right I don't remember the names I have a bad memory and do you know how do you think she reacted humility how do you think just accept it like like Robbie will talk to Marines like what what did you do Mary what do you think she did she would remain silent she will she will say she was sorry okay even though she did not do anything okay she would apologize the rabbi and apologize to the girl kneeling oh yeah that kind of wow and then God will reveal to the rabbi that it was all a lie oh wow and the rabbi will then apologize to Mary oh nice uh and this continued a lot and this and that opened my eyes like sometimes we want to talk back or to defend ourselves but sometimes that's not the right answer because I don't know that's what the other pride is yeah yeah and sometimes I want to do justice or something like that but the thing that I realized at the end of the day God is just and I'll do my best and I'll try to make amends with the people that did me wrong and I will not hold any resentments over Sam like to show song virtue and to keep me on check with my pride too and to know that I can also make mistakes there was also with pride there was the thing that happened with katakis there was this Catholic keys and with for the children and there were three four children and two for the adults because you you teach the children the catechism is that right yeah the good thing about that is we reunite every Tuesday afternoon to talk about the reading of the I remember an English word um uh saying look of each Sunday mass okay and we will discuss first of all what we think and the priest will be there and the priest will correct them will correct us and our opinions to speak the truth right and not be like Protestants and teaching what we think like what we feel we teaches and like put emphasis on this and like this is a message and you know something like that and we will think about activities for the children and for the parents and there's a conflict between the catechists of the pyramids and uh and it's still is still the problems today that one catechist doesn't want to be interrupted while she keeps like she gives her her idea well while what the priest says it should be dialogue it should not be like a monologue because otherwise we're in like class and we're like we're hearing the teachers speak and the next day they won't remember anything and yeah she said I want to do it my way and my way and I want to take care of everything she was channeling the spirit of Satan right there just like I will do my way my way yeah I'm exaggerating I'm just making a joke I don't I know I'm not speaking of this woman I'm sure she's a lovely one I mean it's fried talking I think so I think so and we were saying like no but we have we everyone we can learn something from the other person we need to be humble to say that I don't remember the saint but he said like the three virtues that virtues that we have to have is humility humility humility I think he wants to make a point with humility there and um so yeah we sell her we told her in a fraternal way like like that and if we did it it's not like our opinion on the activities was not to take her out of the way we just were adding more activities so it's not even like her opinion was out of question and she got upset and decision that the priest took was to separate the two characters of the parents so she's gonna take care one Sunday and the other one the other Sunday and she threatened to go to the cathedral to say like also everyone is right but I'm in the wrong well the cathedral needs me is uh I don't have problem going out of this marriage oh wow yeah it's always it's always a challenge working with human beings even in the church unless you if you're lucky enough to be surrounded by Saints which is not usually it's not usually the case right but I've experienced volunteering at a small Chapel uh some politics and the power dynamics people some people want power and some people want control and maybe they have good intentions God only knows but some people have a strong character and they want to have their way and certainly I'm no better I want to have my way too but you know in that in that particular situation I'm not imposing my will I'm not trying to take a leadership role far from it um but everyone is different everyone has their own personality and we have to bear with each other very patiently and there's I don't know if you're aware of the Opus day it's an organization uh that deals very heavily with work and the sanctification of work yes Saint Jose Maria escribe founded this yeah and there's an emphasis obviously on Purity Chastity and all these sorts of things and there's an emphasis on uh submission to docile submission to the the pope so it's I love the Opus day I love the Opus day but he said very famously that when someone annoys you which happens you know uh when someone when someone annoys you don't say to yourself he annoys me say to yourself he sanctifies me and that's good I think I read that that's going to transform that's going to transform all of your your relationships and it's going to transform all the conflicts uh if you can do it if you can get in the habit and if you can sincerely find your heart if you can from your heart if you can have that attitude I've tried it and I've failed I've tried and I failed but I'm going to keep trying yeah by the grace of God uh you know it's a work in progress but if I like the idea I'm not able to do it but I like the idea and if by the grace of God if I continue then perhaps God will allow me to love my neighbor even when they're annoying no I also I also like struggle with that but not trying makes it more like a habit with seeing my sufferings or suffering that I experience uh as fortification too yeah yeah yeah and I yeah and I mean I read all about through that with the saying slides oh yeah of course of course how they suffer they were like they love it yeah they enjoy it so much and I was already how can I enjoy it how huh and it's like it's an opportunity from that God gave me to purify my soul right yeah yeah and sometimes it's hard to do that when you're feeling sad or depressed like just think how sanctifying could it be like you feel sad you're crying but you still choose to pray the rosary or you still choose to pray at night or to go to mass and to do those things you did the hard thing that God wants you to do yeah I don't often have the faith to do that but I know that's what I should be striving to do sometimes I when I'm dry and when I'm spiritually dry sometimes I say this is there's a lot of Grace for me here I don't want to pray right now I'm going to yeah I'm gonna do my rosary I don't want to do it yeah I'm going to do it but I know there's more grace here and I'm not doing it because there's more Grace but I know there's more grace and the reason there's more grace is because if I do it against my inclination yes it's for the love of God that's why I would do it that's why I would do it for the love of God and that's why there's Grace there and perseverance yeah yeah so um it's always about the love of God and it's always about detaching from self-love which is the yeah it's the challenge that's the challenge of this of this painful life is detaching from self-love because we just want to have pleasure and ease and uh pleasantness and gratification gratification and dancing ratification avoid pain and avoid inconvenience and everything that's unpleasant and that's just the way it is so you know I often think about the the relationship the Saints had with God and with Jesus Christ in particular and his mother and the awareness they had the recollection they had the awareness they had of God enabled them to enjoy suffering because not only did they see the value in that Perfection that comes through something yeah but also the awareness that they had of the reality of Heaven the reality of God and the the how fleeting and this world is it's passing away before our eyes it's very temporary it's it's the suffering is nothing and Heaven Is Everything God is everything God is heaven so it's just it's the joy that comes from having a proper perspective on the proportion of the creature and the Creator and it's just like if you and I if I make a scary movie and it's really scary it's really well done the acting the lighting the script everything is very scary and you're sitting in the theater it's a dark theater and you're watching my movie that I made but I'm right beside you and you get absorbed in this story and you're scared and then you realize oh I've got the director right beside me I know that there's a beginning a middle and an end to the film I know there's a moral of the story I know that this is good for me and I know that I'm safe and here's the director the creator of this of this experience I've got nothing to worry about so I can enjoy this this without being overwhelmed by it that's the way I see sort of the theater of Life as a creature in God's creation is that we have the architect we have the director the creator of all this drama we have him he's not far from us and we are safe that's the bottom line we're insecure we don't think that we have God looking out for us we don't think that we have God protecting us and that's why we're scared that's why we're insecure but if you can think about that at all times like he is not far and yeah he's allowing this he's allowing you for a reason and then the drama can become more enjoyable now I'm telling you all of this uh but it doesn't mean that I'm able to really practice it and practice it but um for sure yeah I mean for example before I used to be scared of Darkness or like stuff like that like when you watch a horror movie I will get nightmares and be scared yeah yeah after reading after converting to Catholicism um I I realized that we shouldn't be scared of death if we live right for reality no yeah exactly uh um if we do holistic we shouldn't be scared and everything like that and I I read a story or something that happened I think it was Saint Therese of Avila or Saint Therese I remember who was that both of students yeah that she she woke up in the middle of the night like there was a demon right in her bedside she's like oh it was you again and she came back to sleep like nothing happened and then I realized like yeah like demons not have the power that God have the only Power they have is the power that God gives them yeah and they have permission to do everything they have they have explicit formal legal permission for every move they make every move yeah they make yeah and I think uh I think was an exercise Exorcist that said that or like a demon through them like they can do the things that they do like to exercise exercise body that person yeah uh that personally possessed to the extent that God permits yeah so we should never forget the amount of power that God has so I'm not as scared of the dark anymore I don't watch horror movies though because I think like they have a bad influence yeah exactly and I don't listen like to bad music I for example like I said to you like I deleted all my social media and I started watching or seeing things that are whole you're Catholic nice nice and that takes such turning your head you're sarcasm to people like I don't know like seeing people like sorry or [Music] um seeing like sexual depravity on television on Sirius and show especially for young adults or teenagers even and that when you stop watching those and because of an ad or something you see that it's like what just happened yeah because you're just like uh made your mind heart and soul like pure again or at least a bit purer than it was before yeah so just imagine if he was like fully Pure or like if it was Mary seeing this stuff how they could react amazing and how sad they get when you entered saying those things like when you say it about war when you say God's name in vain or something like that yeah it will be so harmful I pray I pray to be disgusted by sin to be disgusted by anything that doesn't please God anything that offends God I want to be disgusted um you know there are there are images which I could conjure up right now and I could express them to you and we could agree that's disgusting please do not talk about that that imagery is disgusting okay now I want that same level of disgust for the smallest venial sin I want that level of disgust I don't I do not have it I can tell you that sin does not disgust me it has to be really really big for me to feel angry uh righteous anger or any kind of disgust it has to be huge because I'm very desensitized by my life and everything growing up and education and the the TV and everything and I don't have that sensitivity I want I want it because without that sensitivity you're still attached to sin you're still attached to sin so so that's the thing I just got a nice book I don't know if you're uh if you can see it on the screen can you see that contemplative rosary I've never read of that it's so I just did I just participated in an online Rosary but I want to read I'm sure you're familiar I'm I'm sure you're familiar with the promises of the Rosary can you read that it says the 15 Promises of Mary could you put it like more to the side like that yeah yeah yeah yeah the 15 Promises of married to Christians who recite the rosary are you aware of the 15 promises no I think I've read that like one day but I forgot do you mind if I just quickly go through it and you can share your comment on it okay for sure we'll go Point by point so number one whoever shall Faithfully serve me by the recitation of the Rosary this is our blessed mother speaking whoever shall Faithfully serve me by the recitation of the Rosary shall Reserve signal Graces which means very special Graces okay so right away uh what's your impression of this if you if you Faithfully serve Mary by the recitation of the Rosary you're going to get special Graces what do you think about that Graces I think you're going to be more receptive in growing in virtue or more receptive I think in the science that God gave us well when I was in my Journey of Faith especially nowadays I see the signs that God sends me the smallest signs especially with children you know God loves children because they have the innocence and pureness we don't have yeah and some for example one day it was like two two Saturdays ago I was feeling like kind of like not depressed because I don't want to minimize depression but really sad and really heartbroken and then this little child that having gone like to catechism catechism encounter like came up to me like out of nowhere and it had me and say I love you and I appreciate you out of no and then sir encounter she was holding my hand besides me wow and I saw my praise and my prince said like yeah that's like God talking to you to give you like comfort and I was like yeah I can see that but before before like if I haven't if I didn't have the maturity of my spiritual life that I have now I wouldn't have seen that so I think that I think that's that's the correct beautiful number two I promise my special protection and the greatest Graces to all who shall recite the rosary so here she's offering special protection special protection what do you think that might mean I've read actually a post that said a demon that said a person who prays the family member who prays the rosary can save their family wow amazing yeah just just to know how powerful that groceries number three the rosary shall be a powerful armor against hell it will destroy Vice decrease sin and defeat heresies so that's a lot that's a lot packed into number three there powerful armor against hell if we have if we need armor against hell that means that hell is actively attacking us right yeah for sure have you read the script set laters yeah yeah yeah seriously that's the perfect example of like uh demons trying to take a hold of one person's soul it's true it's true number four it will cause virtue and good works to flourish it will obtain for Souls the Abundant mercy of God it will withdraw the hearts of men from love of the world and its vanities and will lift them to the desire of Eternal things oh that Souls would sanctify themselves by this means so this is Mary speaking obviously again so we see the virtue good works we see the Abundant mercy of God that will be given and withdrawing our hearts from love of the world and its vanities and it will lift our thoughts and desires to Eternal things so that's a lot packed into that fourth promise too yeah amazing yeah the fifth promise the soul that recommends itself to me by the recitation of the Rosary shall not perish period the soul that recommends itself to me by the recitation of the Rosary shall not perish boom that's amazing have you seen the the story of the Rosary I had to look it up for children I told the children last Saturday actually the star of the Rosary summarize no actually you haven't no well I've seen very summarized and anyone can correct me if angry this is what I found like there was this Spanish like priest Saint Dominic that um I I forgot no it was nothing it was one and 200 no 1202 1202 the year he I was this pain from Spanish in Spanish uh Spain Spain he went to the south of France to convert people that first four four popes couldn't convert before him four pups couldn't convert these people in south of France what did these people thought they thought they two gods exist one a good God and the bad God like evil God gnosticism they didn't believe in the sacraments and they didn't believe in the Virgin Mary those three things and the monk will go there and he builds a parish uh consecrated like to the Virgin Mary in the name of the Virgin Mary and he will try his best to convert his people and they will convert but because of other people that didn't convert like we're mocking them they would like come back to their always and then one time this priest was praying to marry powerful like harmfully like mother like please help me how can I convert these people and uh the Virgin Mary appeared to him and showed him the rosary this is the weapon that's going to help you convert these people and you have to teach them how to say it and the rest of the world and that was the same that converted these people that couldn't convert that's how powerful it is amazing I recommend you and I recommend everyone read uh there are many many many great sources to read about the rosary but my favorite is Saint Louis de mofor he's a French Saint I can send you some emails with the links to some of his writings oh boy yeah yeah yeah very very very very very powerful stuff and he of course has his own wisdom from God but he also has a lot of knowledge about the history of Saint Dominic and blessed Allen De La Roche and all these people that are pivotal in the history of it so number six whoever shall recite the rosary devoutly applying himself to the consideration of its sacred Mysteries shall never be conquered by Misfortune so here we have a worldly promise about Misfortune you're not going to be subject to Misfortune God will not chastise him in his Justice wow because God's justice is all yeah encompassing and it's very scary God's justice so have you seen the conversion have you heard about the conversion of Saint Bruno Saint Bruno Saint Bruno I just read about Saint Bruno hold on now same I just his feast day was just uh like last week right I don't know he's Twisted actually I don't know his conversions there yeah remind me because I just read it on his feast day recently well um Amber freezing I don't remember exactly because I know in Spanish but it was something like he was a teacher of he is a renowned teacher that was considered good died and they made a Catholic uh funeral service I don't know how you call it and well the priest says in funeral I don't know the exact words but like uh speak now the justice of God I don't know I don't know but he said something like something like that right or God makes his make his judgment something like that and the dead body comes up and he said I am going through the uh the first the general Judgment of God or the first Judgment of God and then he goes back to the wow it must have been the particular judgment maybe there are three three faces yeah okay and then the next day they do the statement after the words of the priest he comes back again I'm going through this how the second one I don't know the second I know the particular and the general I don't know the third one well in general okay and then he goes back and then more people start coming out right by each I think and the third one he gets out like the final judgment is here it's not like that I am condemned to damnation do not pray for me to me wow scary scary and everyone thought he was a good person he seemed like a good person but they didn't know the person his personal life what things did he do in his personal life or what team did he believe or what like and that's how same Bruno converted and he started preaching the words of God throughout them how old how old was he at that time was he a young man no I don't think so no no no okay I think it was like in his 40s oh really late convert yeah late convert so God will not chastise him and it's just as he shall not perish by an unprovided death if he is just he shall remain in the grace of God and become worthy of eternal life so that's a big if if he be just he shall remain in the grace of God and become worthy of eternal life so this is all 0.6 promise number six whoever shall recite the rosary devoutly and remain just shall remain in the grace of God and become worthy of eternal life so it's not easy it's not easy to persevere in the faith one of my favorite Saints Saint Alphonsus liguire says two priorities that we have in prayer and if you want to be saved you have to pray if you don't pray you will not be saved two priorities you have in prayer number one the love of God we have to have Divine love we have to love God we have we have to ask God to be able to love him properly number two we need perseverance in the faith we have to ask for perseverance in the faith yes if we stop asking for perseverance in the faith we will not persevere in the faith it's very scary it's very very scary so we have to we have to ask for these two very very basic things and if we take it for granted if we say I'm Catholic I'm good I'm basically good my sins aren't that big and we're not asking for the love of God to increase and we're not asking for perseverance Saint Alphonsus ligori says many many souls are lost because they just don't persevere and they don't ask for perseverance and they don't love God as they should because they don't ask for the increase in love of God so it's very scary it's very sobering yeah and I think one thing that my praise always repeats to us if we should be grateful that we have the gift of faith not many people have the gift of faith so many have hardened their hearts to God so we shall try to use that gift for the better of the people and to also not use the gifts that God give us to make ourselves like feel better than everyone or holier than thou but to use that to benefit the whole community and everyone that surrounds us amazing it's that's exactly right number seven promise number seven whoever shall have a true Devotion to the rosary shall not die without the sacraments of the church so you need a true Devotion to the rosary so let's hope and pray that we can have that true Devotion to the rosary and we will not die without the sacraments of the church so it's very important to have a confession before we die and to receive Holy Communion and to get the last rights and there's a lot of protection that comes from these final sacraments and I hope and pray that I can get those but I'm not really in a situation right now where it seems likely because I'm isolated I'm the only one in my family even my wife is not a Believer so it's not like I have I'm not immersed in a milieu where I'm going to have automatically have a priest hovering around me when I die but if I if I believe in the promises of our Blessed Mother then anything's possible and who knows what's going to happen between now and then but it is sobering to think about the the access to the sacraments at the end of life many many people don't have that and you wonder uh what the outcome how the outcome might have been different if they'd had access to uh sacraments at the end of life you're in Latin America I think you have more of a chance of getting the sacraments at the end of life than I do here here in Quebec here in Quebec it's a tragic situation in the church right now why because the church was rejected by the people in the 60s Revolution a revolution the sexual Revolution and the quiet they call it the quiet Revolution here uh which was a rebellion an explicit Rebellion against the church because the church had a certain amount of control in Quebec and there may have been probably there was some corruption in the you know in the hierarchy because there always is in the church militant we talked about this before the church militant yeah is uh is not perfect so that's why there was the rebellion and uh it's very difficult uh it's a very difficult situation here in Canada in general it's very difficult for the church now here we still have like the church like I say because it's in the in the Constitution it still like has uh Power yeah not that enough power because still a person got like approved but some foreign we have to keep praying our rosaries for against abortion yeah so uh number eight promise number eight those who are faithful to reciting the rosary shall have during their life and at the end at their death the light of God and the plenitude of his graces at the moment of death they shall participate in the merits of the Saints in Paradise so here we're talking about that light that's going to come to us if we're faithful and uh the plenitude of God's Graces and the merits of the Saints how we're gonna yeah we're going to be able to participate in all of that it sounds like almost like a flood or a tsunami of light and Grace and yeah yeah like as if Heaven itself to us yeah it's like heaven comes down to us if we were faithful in reciting it uh promise number nine I shall deliver from purgatory those who have been devoted to the rosary so that's a pretty big promise Purgatory is not where we should be aiming a lot of a lot of um Catholic um podcasts and Priests and people that are talking on the internet talking about how we should not aim set our sights on Purgatory because if we aim for Purgatory we may end up in hell if we aim to skip Purgatory go straight yeah yeah exactly yeah into heaven and yeah and then maybe you'll end up in purgatory my dad says like oh it's okay I'll end up in purgatory no I've been friends right and I said no and and if so you should be happy you're very sorry because that means like at the end of the road I don't know how many years that will be great sorry you'll end up in heaven but that's not guaranteed no like no no no I said like God is just yeah and you cannot claim like to be ignorant about certain subjects because I tell him the truth so you cannot claim to be ignorant that's the sin you can tell your father in a in a very plate Gentle Way maybe maybe you can find a way to tell him this he's becoming hey I'm happy because since we're getting more like for example uh there are things that I have from my catechisting like like phrases or for example a dry roast from uh Saint Rita Like a Prayer I think and I gave give him like the prayers and the things to influence him or something like that and he gives him in his bedside oh so he appreciates it so he doesn't throw it away and uh lately I read him the but I noticed something he discussed it when I was only with him and other family members entered to have dinner he didn't want to talk anymore okay let's stop talking about that and I'll be praying for you and your family and I don't know if you know I don't know if you know but I enroll all of my guests In Perpetual mass or The Graces of the mass will be floating to you and your family till the end of time thank you promise number 10 the faithful Children of the Rosary shall Merit a high degree of Glory in heaven so not only can we get out of purgatory we can have a higher place in heaven if we are faithful children of the Rosary so that makes me want to be a faithful child of the Rosary so I can have more Glory not because it would please me but because it would please God obviously it would please God to have all of us have more Glory because our glory in in heaven is God's glory it's not our Glory it's God's glory hierarchy like yeah sayings like I have more like are more Pure or Holier and that I didn't know that I discovered that like months ago but okay I didn't know that and everyone but everyone was happy like in their position yeah like because Ryan like in heaven they're gonna be like wise so the little the Little Flower talks about everyone is full of joy but everyone's cup of joy is a different size you have a little cup that's full a big yeah that's full a medium cup that's full that's what the Little Flower says so yeah but we think it's very intuitive once you realize uh once you have your christology correct then you understand your mariology and once you understand that Mary has the fullness of Grace as it says then you know there's a hierarchy you know that Mary yeah Mary surpasses all of the Saints combined in her Holiness and Purity yeah well I'm usually she was like the highest I knew like okay that rank was like there I didn't know like about the Saints right like there's a differentiation yeah yeah yeah exactly I didn't know about that yeah promise 11 you shall obtain all you ask of me by recitation of the Rosary so I'm asking the Blessed Virgin Mary and Christ every day for the true and Lasting conversion of every sinner yeah me too that's what I'm asking and Mary's promising me here allegedly promising me that because I don't know if these promises are actually from God it's not yeah it's not part of the public Revelation this is a private Revelation so we can't we can't know a certainty but it's a political it's a Pious belief it's a Pious yeah yeah but if that's the case then uh I mean you know we can't we can't God will not override the Free Will of his creatures his human creatures and so there is always the chance that people will say no to his Graces that's a sad reality that's why hell is real and that it hell is not empty because some people do say no to God's Graces but yeah by being faithful to the rosary at least that will give more Graces to those people that we're praying for like people in my family and my wife and my friends and everyone they need Grace to convert right yeah they need to stop in their hearts yeah and I think uh God's work like guys is working on my dad yeah I sure for sure I see a huge difference like for somebody like it could be like a little for me it's huge huge difference of course yeah of course I see it I don't even know you or your father but I can see it I can see it already that it's working keep going keep going keep doing what you're doing by the grace of God promise number 12 all those who propagate the Holy Rosary shall be aided by me in their Necessities so if you decide to propagate and promote the Holy Rosary you're going to be helped by the Blessed Virgin Mary yeah and uh you're going to be enabled to promote the rosary so I have a little podcast and I have the rosary I have an explanation that I give in my interpretation of how to pray the rosary and Saint Louis says that we should all create our own method of praying the rosary it's a very personal thing yeah and so uh there's no there's no harm in exploring how you're going to navigate the rosary within certain parameters as long as we respect the basic outline so oh actually in our Catholicism now because he said month of the Rosary October we're making the parents of the children make rosaries handmade rosaries wow and we're going to give the those rosaries that we make to the communities houses like the people that's around them yes so that's promoting the rosary and so exactly the 12th promise applies to that that you will be aided in your necessity so let's say you ran out of beads or whatever you pray for to have the resources you need and you can propagate yeah promise 13 I have obtained from my Divine son that all The Advocates of the Rosary shall have for intercession the entire Celestial court all the saints during their life and at the hour of death so this again is heaven coming down to us those of us who are um faithful to the rosary the so she's obtained that she's obtained that from her son that we're going to have that intercession very powerful yeah number 14 all who recite the rosary are my sons and daughters and brothers and sisters of my only son Jesus Christ so that's pretty intimate uh yeah intimate promise you know would you like to be the daughter in a more special way the daughter of Mary and the the sister of our blessed Lord I mean it's quite a that's quite a promise and the final promise the final promise number 15 devotion of my rosary is a great sign of predestination so uh if you're worried if you're at all worried about going to hell uh you can have a certain amount of comfort from the fact that you're devoted to saying the rosary regularly yeah so yeah yeah I mean pray like if you pray to God and you pray to validly and you and like you say like if especially in the on the toughest times when we don't want that or we feel bad or feel sick or all these years is everything tired tired uh of course like rewards are going to come not in the in the aspect that we want the like those Rewards but they're going to come perseverance is something very highly valued by God it's a battle it's a battle it's a spiritual battle and we have to fight we have to fight boldly and yes Satan and his demons they never sleep they never sleep in their wings they're much more intelligent they're searching for that that like oh I don't have I don't want to pray today oh I don't want like oh I don't want to do my homework or I don't want to study or I don't or like yeah I just like or I don't want to kneel or I don't want to dress modestly I don't want to take that extra step they want that they want that how you say that uh like what would you say in Spanish um [Laughter] like to not like to be stuck I like to uh to be comfortmista is in Spanish con for Mista yeah mediocre okay okay mediocre okay okay okay conforming conforming to status quo conformista comfortable uncomfortable yeah exactly but comfortable comfortable okay okay yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah they the Satan is very very nice to us here very nice oh you deserve a break you deserve pleasure you deserve this this is a small this is not even a sin everyone's doing this have you seen this like in Instagram or I don't have Tick Tock I I found nothing like self-care self-care Sunday or especially with women like oh I'm going to like spend more like spend me time today all of me time okay not like time on praying well this these are secular women's um so it's all about self pampering and then you read like I've recently read like the life of Saint Claire uh it's totally different like the opposite uh kind of Lifestyle you know thoughts of poverty by choice because she was she lived in riches sure I think I think her Saint Day is coming up in a couple days is that right do you know no I think it was already oh it was it recently uh I don't think that recently no Saint Claire okay but I remember because I have a group of uh with the Catholicism all of that and they said every they sent things every time and that's where I found like it was Sinclair and yeah that's why you know it was it happened already August 11th yeah yeah okay okay okay okay say it I'm trying to see maybe it's St Lucie I was thinking of that's coming up St Lucie is December 13th yet so I was confusing Saint Claire and St Lucie because I entered the church on the feast day of Saint Lucie but I keep I keep confusing her with Saint Claire so that's kind of also you were not Catholic before you converted yeah I converted in 2009 from atheists okay from oh oh what how how did you got there oh well God only knows but the the apparent no but like the Apparently like Christians or not yeah I was baptized in a very very liberal Protestant home not really practicing not really you know just a grace before me like my family like lukewarm yeah yeah I mean I don't know exactly what the relationship is I don't I don't know what their understanding is of the the church and the sacraments and these sorts of things but um you know it's a different uh the Protestant world is quite uh varied and but they were not fanatically a Christian and uh you know I lost my faith at age 14 I had a strong innocence naive Faith until the age of 14 and at age 14 I had a dream about Jesus where I counter-intuitively I lost my faith because uh but like what what what like what what happened like like what happened to lose the faith or to get the faith back not to lose the thing like what like you say you had a knife it was a pleasure dream it was a pleasant dream ah got it where Jesus Jesus wave goodbye to me and I woke up and I had really yeah he waved he waved it wasn't hello because I lost my faith when I woke up so he was waving goodbye to me like see you later and then 25 years later at 39 I came back to the church through the study of philosophy also when like you were the opposite of me I was I had the question reading that like do you have like The Logical kind of like conversion or is that emotional one yeah yeah it was more logical yeah like reading like what what is it that made you say like aha strange because what what brought me what brought me to God to monotheism was a bad Catholic uh gorilla a philosopher Descartes Rene Descartes who was not a perfect man I I hope okay I hope he converted before he died but he was an unorthodox Catholic oh he died already oh yeah yeah this he's the father of uh the Modern Age with science and he tried to he tried to build a foundation for the Natural Sciences that excluded uh Aristotle's four categories and just reduced it to and these sorts of things so he's he's considered sort of a bad guy in in Catholic circles but he brought me out of solipsism because I had fallen into solipsism which is the belief the Absurd belief that only I exist sole Ipsy only I exist that was my belief is like you exist I guess a person like I exist yeah I know that now but as I heard solipsist I did not believe that you exist I only believe that I exist like a narcissist I only exist well a narcissist uh believes in other people just he's obsessed with himself the soul yeah but like the solipsist doesn't even believe that the other is real that's the difference okay okay but like Focus only on you well yeah it's the only reality the only reality everything else is okay I know for sure I exist something like that of course you know you exist right but you don't know for sure that I exist no but like I'm trying to understand that belief system yeah yeah it's absurd it's absurd trying okay don't even try to understand it it's a mental illness so don't try to understand it okay okay but um you know I had through the course of reading Philosophy for many years I had fallen into uh all kinds of crazy ideas and I ended up reducing my uh you know eliminating things that I was not able to believe in I didn't have a foundation to believe in any uh Material World so there was German idealism which uh you know challenged my belief in the material world and in other people and so I fell into hard solipsism and it was Renee Descartes who talked specifically about solipsism and he had a solution and he helped me to come back to God to believe in God and then I read I was not a Christian because I was an enemy of Christ in the church but I came back to the I came back to Christianity and my enemy like you would consider yourself enemy at that time yeah I was a Satanist I was an atheist so I was I was worshiping the self and reason yeah reason and the self the will yeah the law of philemma do it thou Wilt and that's that's the religion that I that here yeah once I've like before I was like kind of like libertarian or individualistic person and once I've read like while I was carrying the faith I read like The precepts of the Satanist and I thought it was going to be like worship Satan they're like do rituals and everything like that but every everything like that was pointing like there it spoke like libertarianism yeah yeah sometimes you know it's like and then and then I read the things like why Catholics like did not agree with liberalism and stuff like that yeah yeah my friend m is in the chat she asked me to reread number nine promise number nine says I shall deliver from purgatory those who have been devoted to the rosary so that's a very important one to be delivered from purgatory so my friend m is going to come on uh and be a guest on the show eventually we've been trying to figure out figure out a date uh I have very few women that come on the podcast but that's why I appreciate uh M and yourself uh and yeah a few of the other women that I've had on I've had uh one of my nieces my sister one of my sisters my mother came on uh but very few women really generally speaking so I do have a very important woman in my life my wife she uh she wants me to get back to her now so I'm gonna have to wrap this up but will you promise me that you'll come back and we'll talk some more and you can ask more questions about my journey for sure I still have many questions to ask you yeah yeah yeah you wrote did you write them down yeah okay read me the list I think I I said those like a few what like I mean the first one was like how was your journey to the Catholic faith which are yours intellectual and that was the next question and like what was that important event that made that happen was it more a logical or emotional one logical and then what made you be far from God before your conversionary version love of self love of self have you heard um I've seen it I love seeing like testimonials and real testimonies I don't know if you heard about journey home there's a book about that I love it I was reading that but there was an art testimony that I read about a Satanist that was a wizard yeah does he have a big beard the guy yeah and he's like blind I've heard um they got the rosary the jewelry and the rosary do you remember yeah yeah he was talking about abortion he's yeah Satanist ritual or something like that I remember yeah uh do you know that the Luminous Mysteries were created by and and asked Satanist no yes who I don't remember his name and then I think so and then John Paul Saint John Paul II okay like beatify him something like that and that and that's when he put the Luminous Mysteries okay so it's thanks to bertolo Longo he's one of my heroes in the faith well he was the next Satanist and he and then he converted like so strongly yeah and then he started praying the rosary it was all about the rosary All About Mary yeah exactly because he was before he was into uh Satanism and sexual morality but his uh conversion took place at the uh Pompeii Our Lady of Pompeii's an image uh which was a popular devotion in Pompeii Italy and he had a miraculous conversion from his dark way of life and he really really championed the rosary and Mary and it was amazing he's really a great he's not a saint he's a blessed but he's yeah yeah he's on his way John Paul II I mean like made that question he's on his way and I'm sure he's in heaven I'm sure he's uh yeah great yeah he was very devoted to the rosary so yeah maybe those things if that were like true like uh declaration from God yeah he said he said that he had the grace to no longer look at the beauty of a woman he just would not uh pay attention to the beauty of women because that's uh that's uh exterior Beauty more like of course of course of course yeah and Saint Francis de Sales talks about this also in the confessional he would see the inner beauty of uh I don't know if who was what the one that whenever he felt lost like he will go like to this to throw himself through spines or something like that yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah I don't I can't remember who that was either but yeah no yeah but yeah it was some like like some people like rolled naked in the snow roll in the Thorns yeah yeah to feel like that pain rather than feel the love the vibe it kills it kills the it kills the lust and the Saints also talk about the desert fathers talk about controlling your food and water and sleep okay because if we indulge in food in water in in sleep then we have all this energy all this lust and it's very yeah it's very dangerous so overeating I'm wearing the weaker State you should just find out the minimum that you need and then do 10 less than that so you're doing less than the minimum but not enough to be really harmful this is uh this is the standard of the desert fathers I am not really there yet I have to be honest I'm not really there yet I'm not even close but I like the idea I like the idea of discipline I mean that's why fasting is so powerful that's why it's a requirement for to practice exorcism Nice Bridge yeah oh yeah you have to be you have to be protected by prayer and and uh it makes you stronger focuses the prayer and everything were there any other questions on your list yeah and that is what is the virtue you're pursuing the most and why faith I would say the virtue of Faith the virtue of uh of fortitude temperature fortitude and Temperance fortitude because it has to do with Pleasure and Pain okay fortitude is not scared of pain and suffering and Temperance is able to control the appetite so those are the two yeah those are the two where I really need help yeah I've heard somewhere I I read but I forget who's gonna run some things and he said like this the scenes that we do occasionally or that we throw the most are the scenes that will make us Saints Ah that's why Satan is tempting Us in that area because he knows or they know the demons that when we achieve that if we do like we're going to be like incomparable like and like God puts like that that kind of virtue why for some it's like Purity for other for others it's like being lazy like not the opposite of being with being productive and and like you say like fortitude uh that's why Satan attacks us especially in in like it's like in one virtue a different version each one of us yeah well we should focus on our weak point because like exactly because like you said it will become a strong point that's the strongest point that God has in mind for us wow that's why the devil Focus so much on that one and that opens your mind like it changes the perspective yeah the perspective for sure and then you uh answered this I think one what are your favorite sayings books or topics on Catholicism yeah well my favorite Saint is obviously the Blessed Virgin Mary and I love Saint Augustine yeah and um uh Saint Francis de Sales level four uh uh who's uh who are the other ones oh Saint Alphonsus liguri Saint Ignatius Loyola um so who was the other one oh Saint John Vianney yes yes can you are you able to see not to the other I have two cameras yeah no no to the other one that one you're able to yeah that's St John Vianney you see his characteristic hairdo um there's so many Saints but uh I also loved John the Baptist even though he's like sort of before at the at the borderline between Old Testament New Testament but I didn't know you was marked it I actually found that recently he was decapitated yeah and I love St Paul a lot Saint Paul yeah yeah uh Saint Rita who you mentioned Saint Rita yeah yeah yeah of cassica of course yeah yeah uh uh you know Saint Teresa of Avila yeah because uh the Little Flower yeah there's so many there's so many uh and I love uh I couldn't believe she died at 24 like that I'm 22 years time is sticking you know Maria Goretti I was a young 14 year old girl good looking and sure her friend raped her and at knife pointed I know one it was like 11 years old and that was the same that became I think saying on or something like that oh okay I also have a Devotion to Saint Anne the mother of Mary Saint Anne ah yes dude oh oh that's actually on the life of Mary of Liberty Mary has seen by the mistakes do you know how they knew that uh like she had to marry like Saint Joe came okay so she was 24. saying how do you think how old do you think Saint Joe Kim was 50. he was she was 24 and he was 42. okay and they were like sleeping um and God said like angels to each one of them and the angel said to them while they were stepping you have to marry Saint Joe Kim and and the next day they were married wow it was as easy as that oh arranged marriage yeah yeah exactly and you know how like Joseph was like the Saint Joseph was elected to marry I forgot to mention Saint Joseph I always forget about Saint Joseph always forget about him but yeah he's one of my favorites so what was the question do you know how he was elected to marry to get married Aaron I read it in English but I remember exactly but it was like uh they had to put like uh plants or something like that on on fire or something like that I don't remember exactly I could be wrong but it's something like that and and they were looking at Mary and Mary got out of crying because she wanted to be a virgin she didn't want to get married she wanted to be like a nun um and there was one guy who thought I think I'm virtuous enough of her like to have her as my wife okay God didn't choose him and he became a priest afterwards he began really devout priests very holy Prince and Saint Joseph said like he uh promise God Chastity for his his entire life to God before that and he said to himself I'm not worthy of her that she's Superior for me and God choose the humble guy and I oh yeah when he put the plant like he converted into something beautiful I think into a rose or something and like uh a job put like into his shoulder you know like the Holy Spirit a white dog yeah wow I also have a Devotion to um what's her name uh faustina Saint faustina Divine Mercy the Divine Mercy yeah they're polish yeah and uh there are many many others what about yourself of course yeah what what about yourself any that I didn't name uh no I mean saying the same Virgin Mary uh uh Saint Rita same there is solicits those are like the top yeah yeah yeah I tried to remember I tried to remember Saint Joseph always and I tried to remember the apostles I am fond of the Apostles especially in Saint Peter Saint Paul and uh um Saint James the Saint James that wrote the epistle I have a devotion I pray to him by name every day for controlling the tongue oh I really like Saint Patrick I don't know of course of course and we have uh actually my mom was born the day after Saint Patrick died and she loves him of course a second yeah I'm gonna forget I love all the popes uh even the bad popes even the bad popes I love them God chose chose them they're appointed by God I say a prayer every day for the Pope the current pope whoever it is the church and it says it says in the prayer it says that God appointed Pope Francis okay like I said like God has power like to control what demons do what extent so she can elect whatever person he wants and he doesn't like him he can strike lightning and better ahead and they're dead you know yeah yeah yeah but it's easy as that any other questions yes what are the most realistic changes you've seen after your conversion uh uh it's difficult to say I would say that other scene of you well I don't have a great appreciation for my Entourage because they're just annoyed by me okay but maybe maybe that's a good thing I don't know but in myself I would say that there's a certain uh Clarity that I have that I appreciate now and uh you know there's a certain Vision that I've been able to have by the grace of God a certain Clarity and understanding of basic um you know for example morality yeah uh like um an understanding of natural law just sort of like a lot of a lot of stuff just became common sense to me whereas before my conversion before my conversion I was very very very as you can imagine I was very very very confused about a lot of Basics blinded by something like Jesus said forgive them because they do not know what they're doing so I think sexual morality is one of the biggest changes just understanding what is the family what is sex what is intimacy what is you know what is a man what is a woman I guess some of the biggest gifts that's happening like Rodney like that passion of that topic sacred sexuality was brought what brought me back to the church so that I recommend to you if you want like that love and responsibility by Saint John Paul II and saying uh Alphonsus and especially Dietrich van Gilbert Purity on Purity okay that's beautiful nice yes I don't know if you like it too much as the treats will run because his language is a more like I can tell you that I do not enjoy reading uh Saint John Paul II I do not enjoy it really and I do not enjoy reading uh Saint John of the Cross and Saint Teresa of Avila I also have difficulty but I think though those are like guys that's why I said maybe you won't enjoy reading Detroit one hit run because they have a way of explaining things in the more uh feminine oh yeah like we're in the beautiful aspect rather than the logical aspect of that that's why I say like some books are like like are better red like from the for women and for men that's why I said yeah yeah but everyone's being in a beautiful perspective I'm definitely there are definitely some saints that I enjoy reading more than others just because of that that uh that line that you're drawing yeah sure for sure for sure yeah yeah and the last one but I think we already talked about as said what's your opinion on Taylor Marshall and Peter what about ssbs yeah pray for them pray for them yeah that's my only comment nice you know lovely people lovely everyone is holier than I am that's not a problem that's not the question the question is do you submit are you humble enough to submit I mean if you are the judge I think who said that and they were saying someone said why no I think I know we're supposed to say the most acquaintances in France of sales than readable like there are three aspects to have when you judge someone it has to be with Charity you have to have the authority I don't remember the third one but it was like that you know like um and when they you see there is thumbnails or their assumptions and all of that I don't see that charity coming from them yeah I've seen a nurse then said when you speak about someone even if it's just you have to pray the double amount of time for those people and yeah that's a lot of time for prayers yeah those are all the options that I had excellent so you come up with more questions for next time and I'll have you back for sure I really appreciate it and like I said I'm going to be enrolling you uh as soon as I hang up I'm going to enroll you and yours into the Perpetual Mass so that's a that's a thank you yeah I'll keep you in my prayer yeah yeah I was just gonna say so please remember remember me yeah so I'm gonna do my rosary tonight I remember you and my rosary thank you for you and your father and your brothers your little brother your big brother yeah have you seen the the story of one Rosary like back then I think it was Saint Valentine I didn't know Saint Valentine like Saint Valentine's Day was because of Saint Valentine you know that was the same speaking and I didn't know like Santa Claus was a saint you know science Nicholas exactly it's a Scandinavian way of saying Saint Nicholas it's sick yeah and so um no I don't know if I don't know it was like people that were in jail a prince will go and talk to them about Catholicism like before they go on a sentence like a month or so and he will give them groceries they were like there were three prisoners two accepted the rosaries and pray the rosary with the priests and one was like ah no waste of time and I think the month or two weeks or three weeks I don't remember went by pass by and they had to get shot but you know like death that sentence and the three of them were the rosary the the last one was like oh let's see the our luck or something like that right let's test the log or like the we already have like what's the worst cycle happening you know if I put the Rosary and when they got shot two of them have their rosary on and the other one I don't know how it got but the rosary got out of him I think the bullet shot it and it got out of his neck but it was like that yes yes that's also talking about that like the flower of the Rosary too like those two people converted truthfully and the other one was prideful and he wanted to try his black on his last day like not even truly believing in Rosary or God or truly repenting like to see the easy way out God said not this sign you won't fool me yeah yeah God will not be mocked no it's scary it's scary thinking about God's judgment but we have the rosary we have the promises of the Rosary and we have just our love and Devotion to Christ and his church and we uh like you said at the very beginning of this interview we should thank God we should be very grateful to God yeah for our yeah it's a supernatural gift so we we truly scared though he's just yeah he's just scary it's very scary he loves us but he's just yeah I pray every day to have the fear of God a wholesome fear of God or righteous fear of God because without a fear of God there won't be that respect of course of course there could be no he's our father we shall respect our father yeah and I also had another thing to say but I forgot take five seconds to think of what you got five seconds to remember what it was wait what would you say before not today okay okay you gotta remember for next time for next time write it down and it was a real pleasure meeting you uh is it Isabella or Isabelle oh I remember Isabel I remember you remember your name no no I never remember the thing um I said God doesn't send people to hell they send themselves to hell and I sense said it is like cup roaches getting away from the light and this is also like greatly explained I think in the great Divorce by C.S Lewis yeah the people like want to be in hell like they don't want gas Glory or like they're scared of it like it's like I said like cockroaches with with lies they hate it they run away far from it there's only there's only one reality ultimately it's the fire of God's love and it for those who are oriented toward God's love like by Goodwill it's a beautiful Pleasant fire for those who are being purified it's painful very painful and for those who are damned it's excruciating it's torture so the worst thing the worst thing that God could do to those burning in hell is to bring them closer to him by bringing them up to heaven they're very it's a grace of God it's a mercy of God that they have a place in hell it's a mercy of God that they have a place in hell because otherwise they would be suffering more if they were closer to God and so that's that's yeah it is one reality because they feel the mercy like God wanted to give them their love throughout their lives and he put instruments like you are an instrument for your wives to come back to God and instrument to my father and to my brother and sometimes I feel like God is overestimating me but yeah but we're still instruments right God thinks we are worthy we have something that we can show their person we have some qualities and we can say our loved ones by praying the rosary for example like from Damnation yeah very good very exciting so very pleased to meet you and uh I look forward to meeting you again and talking with you some more okay so God bless you bye-bye