CVS Live Guest - 2022-05-28 - Mathias Aasvang

Author Streamed Saturday May 28th, 2022

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Streamed January 25th, 2020

CVS Live Guest - 2020-01-25 - Kalen R.

I met Mathias Aasvang on Twitter. Mathias is Norwegian and describes himself as a seeker, neopegan, taoist with an emphasis on personal freedom and as little government as possible. It was a privilege to meet him and hope to have him back again.

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These YouTube transcripts are generated automatically and are therefore unformatted and replete with errors.
and we are live i'm here with matthias i hope i pronounced that properly sounds about right uh very nice to see you very nice to meet you we met on twitter i don't know much about you so maybe just introduce yourself uh talk a little bit about where you're from and uh how you were raised uh your world view and different stuff like that whatever whatever you want to talk about just tell us a little bit about yourself please that's a that's a big question yeah so i'm from norway raised by a single mom had a really abusive data which my mom escaped at the age of i was about one i think and up until the point where i turned sixth we have moved around ten 10 times i think not really settling then we found this tiny place in the place called stokke in the east of norway tiny farm town that's where i lived most of my life um i don't really do much uh i think i got ptsd when i was baby so work school everything it's a real struggle i every teacher throughout my entire life told me if you just focused you could do it and i proved them time and time again we got got straight a's in religion sometimes english always music but i didn't care so shitty education and struggled a lot with my health been really fat from all my life then about two years ago i treated myself to death almost over a period of two months lost 30 kilos that's about 60 70 pounds in about six weeks just from puking so that's that's my life i i live in the government and i try to understand my health and truly i'm trying to understand my health i've come from you know the edgy atheist being oh you believe in christ well the hair is pain why god did that stupid i was i was one of those agitated atheists and at the point of trying to kill myself really depressed i got to the last point i was like god i don't know if you're called god i can call you odin i can call you i don't really give you [ __ ] if there is a god you know what i'm talking about you know i'm speaking to you so why do i care about the name just just give me a sign and bro i'm telling you from that point i've seen truth everywhere i see 144 everywhere lots of random [ __ ] [ __ ] is happening uh i consider myself a quite intelligent person quite rational logical and there is something from being an atheist but believing in anything we know absolutely nothing about how anything works so quite a journey uh how old are you today i'm 23 23. did your teeth and gums get messed up because of puking or no that usually happens i think so but my teeth have been shipped most my life because i have a friend i have a friend or an acquaintance who was uh bulimic do you know this term bulimic okay i don't know if that's if you had that condition or if if the psychologists and psychiatrists even understand what's going on i don't think they do understand but they like to give labels to things um but the struggle is real the struggle um in a broken home with an abusive father that's uh that's tragic and the you have two options you can die or you can live and you i guess you chose to live ultimately like today you're alive today and your choice today is to live and that's uh i thank god for that and you know it's uh it's the human spirit you're you're demonstrating to me and my listeners the human spirit and we think about the uh concrete jungle in a big city with the everything's paved over with concrete and asphalt but sometimes you see just a little green shoot going in a crack in the sidewalk and you think about that uh in the analogy with a human condition of someone that was uh trampled down abused uh depressed suicidal everything like that and then at a certain moment here comes the life again and here comes the hope so the the keynote here for me is hope that hope springs eternal now that's not to say that some people don't take the plunge into the dark side i have two aunts who have successfully killed themselves and let's hope that god is merciful on their souls because that's one of the worst uh one of the worst sins from a christian perspective but we don't know we can't judge we cannot judge because it's a very mysterious thing the human person and their struggle uh it's uh it's it's sometimes very very dark and it's certainly always mysterious we never really get to know anyone you know i asked you to introduce yourself so that we could know you a little bit and we have a certain idea of some of your background and we can imagine what would we have done and what would that be like but we really have no idea and a life is such a treasure and it's such a it's such a rich thing you know i mean if you were to just try to explain to me what happened uh this morning it would take you more than a lifetime to try to unpack everything that happened this morning even if it was a boring morning and you didn't didn't do anything there's still so much to describe you know the complexity so talk to us a little bit about um how your your vision of meaning the meaning of your life has evolved uh since you sort of latched on to this idea that there's more than meets the eye and like the scientist with his little petri dish and his instruments and he thinks he understands nature but you've now broken free from that materialistic paradigm and you see that there's something beyond so just talk about your vision and how it's evolving and changing and growing and and the freedom and the hope maybe that you're finding in there i hope that that's what you're finding in there you just mentioned the body i would just like to throw in a quote from the indic mystic which i i really like what's his name or her name is from which origin this person okay you'll send me a link for that yeah of course but it talks about doctors you have all kinds of doctors specializing in each and every part of the body you got the specialist for the brain you got specialist for the heart and they they spent their entire life trying to understand that one one part they never do and then you have other doctors trying to understand the entire body and before they even finish medical school they realized this is way too complex to even start to begin to understand how it let me look works the let's say the the guth bacteria and when when people when you read the articles most of your emotions are controlled by the gut bacteria and they are affected by what you eat and you spend let's say for four years just eating pure trash feeling depressed and let's say cursing god for that why is my life so [ __ ] doing absolutely nothing to try and improve it i get kind of lost but you are still big questions [Music] well it's everything you connected yeah yeah well it's funny you know there's a canadian director i don't know if you know much i'm from canada i'm from montreal quebec canada but there's a canadian director kai gaul a guy madden his name is guy madden and he did he did a movie called the saddest music in the world you can check it out if you like the absurd and sort of different stuff you'll enjoy that it's very quirky but there's a woman in there and you know when she's asked a question she consults with her tapeworm like she's got a tapeworm she consults with her tapeworm like it's a guru and so that's what i was thinking about when you talked about the gut because it is it is really uh it is very very very important but people don't like to talk about it because they don't like talking about digestion and diarrhea and farting and burping and all these sorts of things unless it's stand-up comedy and then people can have that cathartic laughter like ha ha but you know day to day it is a big issue like even today i'm like what's going on like my mouth feels weird what did i eat my gut is a bit weird you know uh it's it's a daily thing like to monitor the health bowel movements whatever it's all a daily thing like what what have i been eating and maybe i shouldn't eat that anymore um so i think you've hit on something very key that people don't really like to talk about in polite company right yeah i think going back to your question i struggled a lot with my body and i think that made me realize a lot of things just i struggle with neck pain back pain and i've been tested for everything literally everything the doctors just gave up and i went to my doctor one day and he's kind of based he reckons he says smoke weed he says do shrooms really really up to date with modern science and kind of hippie i really love my doctor wow but he suggested that my pain it's psychosomatic um it really appears to be that way yeah because my neck hurts now just talking about my neck hurts just talking about it there's a lot of psychology where we like when i watch someone on tv get kicked in the groin oh i feel it you know what i mean it's it's the human body it's so incredibly advanced when you suppress an emotion the emotion doesn't go away it needs to go a place that could be your back it could be could be your fingers it could explode in four years it could be a cancer growing somewhere or whatever have you heard about the ice man i forget his name oh yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah you know him is he scandinavian or what is he uh i'm not really sure are you scandinavian is that what your country is yeah what are the scandinavian countries just to refresh my memory uh officially it's norway denmark and sweden england is trying to be a part of the pack oh so cute they have russia to the east so of course they're trying to be like hey bros wow so i i never made it to uh to scandinavia in my travels but my heritage is the english the british isles uh mainly scottish and irish and there's a lot of mixture of the scandinavian people and the norsemen generally with you know and uh my last name is ross ross do you have any of that in scandinavia ross could be you haven't heard of it too much uh not really but um but the the ice man there he trained his body from the age of 17 to withstand the cold and it was you know a lot of mind control in in the positive sense of mind control like uh here in montreal we did the famous um that famous psychological experiment in the torture mk ultra like i'm in that city it's like i could i know the building where it was done you know what i mean you've heard you've heard about this right yeah so like mind control in the positive sense is like where you're like you know you're using your reason to overcome some emotional uh reactions and to sort of um have discipline like no i'm not going to overreact i'm not going to listen to my fears i'm not going to listen to the panic and uh so he was able to overcome his fear of the cold and that's what he described that's what he emphasized was the main problem with the cold feeling cold or heat or anything else that's extreme the main challenge or the hurdle to overcome is your fear your psychological fear so uh talk to me about what you've learned about the fear of fear and how that abstract fear can be like a dark cloud or a ghost or a menace or like a demon almost for you yeah you need something really personal there answer as much or as little as you want yeah i had the i had a really big fear of death being an atheist i i like i hated life but i liked living it was something the the main fear of just being in the ground uh give it 200 years nobody knows her name nobody gives the [ __ ] what you did everything is going to be dust anyway the galaxy is going to explode what the [ __ ] and i'm supposed to just wake up go to school and be okay with all of this [ __ ] no and that fear when not not having any logical explanation not not not having let's say village charm i'm just telling you from the age of five just the most crazy shrimp short stories right i really wish i was born some couple years ago bro [Music] yeah that's very it made me depressed for almost a decade just really scared uh couldn't go to sleep without having the tv on i literally couldn't be alone with my thoughts i had i had to pass out watching tv in bed and lots of people are going through this every [ __ ] day and nobody are really talking about it give them any advice you got the crazy christians or crazy muslims on the other side being like this is our book believe everything this is literally the word of god and that we have other people on the other side everything is just material you're gonna die nobody gives the [ __ ] you're worth nothing and go be productive have a nice day have a nice day it's absurd it's completely absurd you know it really is i had a i had just to share a little bit from my experience when i was in my early 20s i you know i'm a very sensitive person when it comes to substances so i was not experienced with marijuana hashish and all this and mushrooms but i was experimenting with this stuff and i didn't know how to calibrate so i just did way too much ended up having a nervous breakdown and then falling into anxiety disorder like panic attacks every day like all day every day i think i'm gonna die like a and i was an atheist at the time so it's just like that fear of the unknown so it took me one year without meds like they gave me meds they wanted me to stay on the meds but i just took them for a week or two because i knew i knew it was a crutch that i would become dependent on and then it would be difficult to get off physically but especially psychologically be difficult so i put an end to the medications and i just tackled the fear of fear and the key the key takeaway i won't describe the whole year of agony and and uh thinking you're gonna die all the time especially at night but even in the daytime it would surprise you just this thought would fall upon you and it hurts palpitating and you think you're gonna die but um the key takeaway is that it was only when i looked at the fear when i faced my fear because the fear was something that would sneak up on me slowly from behind and that's how i took look away so i had an aversion to my fear oh no not the fear again oh no here it comes or you know when i least expect it sneaks up on me so i realized one night when i was just sick and tired of not sleeping sick and tired of the anxiety and thinking i'm gonna die i was just tired of it and so i just said screw it i'm just gonna embrace it like what what is this this mysterious fear that's coming for me that's sneaking up on me i'm just gonna look it right in the face and say do your worst i don't care and it was just like the the most peace i'd had all year and then i fell back into the habit of being scared of the fear but then i realized if i did it once i could do it again so it's just a question of building a new habit look at the fear face the fear don't be afraid of fear and i know that i found peace in the center of that storm so i know this is the solution it's just a matter of time till i reprogram my brain to not avoid the fear but to face the fear and you know it just quickly fell away so it's it's so telling it's so revealing about human nature it took me a year it took me a long time to figure it out but when i figured it out it's so telling that you have to face your fears and we hear this all the time right with professional athletes and people that do extreme sports and stuff like that we have to face our fears and courage we hear these slogans about courage courage is not having the fear but it's facing your fear or doing it anyway whatever like these are all trite sayings but when you've lived that experience for yourself and i'm sure you have lots and lots of experience with wrestling with this you you have a real wisdom that comes from that doesn't mean you're perfect doesn't mean that you can't be frightened or uh or insecure or have doubts about meaning or or the ultimate reality or all these sorts of things no but at least you have a certain amount of wisdom that will uh benefit you in most situations right yeah that's really it part of your toolkit like your psychological warfare and i'm a fan of the martial arts i don't practice the martial arts but it seems to be that that's a large component of the martial arts is just understanding the movement movements of energies and some of these energies are invisible and abstract right so um i just want to share a little um something i learned just because you hit on it and i feel like it's really important for people in general and just a general concept to be aware of from i think it's some taoism maybe buddhism but you have the thing you want or want to avoid if you want something and you try to pull it towards you eventually it slips away when you're scared of something and try to push it away eventually it hits you in the face wow where did you come up with that one is that something you saw or you came up yeah random buddhist video or something it was this kind of did just this bold chinese monk or something just talking about it wow yeah really that really embedded itself uh did you did you mention taoism in your description of uh some of your leanings is that something you mentioned taoism yeah yeah if anything that's one of the terms i'm comfortable with the labeling myself first okay because that's what it brought to mind immediately the the flow back and forth the organic rhythms of life and the yin and the yang and these sorts of things very powerful ideas uh in taoism i don't know that much about it i did study tai chi a little bit in my therapy it gives them a lot of meaning um for me it it's one of the ways to justify everything i've i've been through i i hate to sound like a victim but i'm not trying to be a victim but when you you can only appreciate the light if you've been through extreme darkness and the darker the depths you've been through the lighter the peaks you're able to enjoy if you if you're in the light all the time you don't know what's down there you don't know what pain is uh just just a recent example i i got kicked out um lost my job working with my mom and i now have zero contact with her just for smoking weed which is illegal in the country i live in you can get it medically i speak with my doctor he it's basically my medicine it allows me to relax as i probably have ptsd not diagnosed because that will require me to go off of the beat and possibly lose my [ __ ] yeah the the thing caffeine for example and everything that people talk about that makes you that alert that fight or flight i have no idea what the [ __ ] people are talking about uh i can check four of these energy drinks and go to bed and one of the things with ptsd that people talk about is you never leave that state ah okay and if i got a one-year-old and my memories are from four or five it makes a lot of sense so there's a expression i don't get ready i stay ready you don't get anxiety you stay in anxiety what about what about um excuse me what about um insomnia is that a is that an issue today or no not really good um that's good the dreams elude me i'm i'm trying to learn lucid dreaming i have done it for a lot of years nice i still don't remember my dreams i make absolutely several progress but at least i can fall asleep i see okay okay yeah yeah i dabbled in lucid dreaming for a while and it's just i'm because i'm an impulsive person i get so excited so easily about the smallest things in my daily life much less if i'm lucid dreaming it's just immediately i get excited and i lose the state of uh lucid dreaming just constantly so uh yeah it's uh impulse control is a bit of an issue for me i've always been a very nervous person like a very just nervous and jittery but i sleep you know i sleep well at night and i do have wild dreams i went to confession today at catholic church because a lot of my dreams are what i would consider demonics a lot of sex dreams and uh yeah i don't like that i mean i i'm on the one hand i'm feeding the flames i'm feeding the demons by like not turning my eyes away from all the sexy women that are around me in montreal in the springtime but on the other hand i don't want to feed the demons i don't want to be flooded by uh sexual dreams and stuff like that yeah try not to get the succubus after you yeah it's real it's real yeah i'm 100 sure it is so when it comes to uh sharing some of your perspectives you probably don't have a large uh group that everyone's on the same page they've been through the same things it sounds like you're pretty much alone but i mean unless you're gonna seek out some sort of uh like group therapy group or something like that your average person has certainly has some trauma but it won't be that deep it won't be that early and it won't have the specifics of your particular life journey so how do you relate to people and uh you know with your friends your closest friends uh do you feel a need to be understood or are you just protecting yourself and just acting like everything's normal like the other quote unquote normal people how do you navigate the world of social life particularly with friendships um i'm not really that much of a social person so i have a really close group of friends which i have had for a long time and we are all really [ __ ] up in several different ways i'm not going to share any names or any specific things but i have my best friend got held kidnapped by a meth addict i got this kneecap smashed with the sledgehammer for one i have another friend who he's his dad is a piece of [ __ ] like mine his mom lives in spain his dad left him with i think seven or eight thousand dollars in debt relating to a company he didn't know um my friend is poor as [ __ ] and already has this amount of bills not paid that kind of shitty that's my two closest friends so oh my the other friend is um for a long time low-key alcoholic really loves to try this motorcycle fast as [ __ ] drunk as [ __ ] at least before because he was just depressed as [ __ ] not giving a [ __ ] so we've all been through a lot but that's why we all relate if you you know if you're talking with someone who's clearly a maniac suicidal nihilist uh wha what would your approach be i'm sure you've been in the situation where you you thought okay i'm going to say something but you have to choose your words carefully you don't want to be preaching and wagging your finger but you also don't want to encourage this person to kill themselves in a family of five on the highway right no i think the most most important thing in any situation relating to people wanting to kill himself or just really depressed don't make things worse uh everybody knows that if you kill yourself your mom gonna be really sad your father is gonna be really sad your brother might kill himself everybody's gonna be worse off but when you're sitting there that doesn't make you feel any better um i think most people that want to kill themselves are just i think the main problem is not believing in anything beyond beyond yourself first of all you don't know who you are you don't know what you are and you don't know where you are you have this concept somebody told you like you live in a society you live in a country you're a human you're this dude this is what you're gonna do and if you believe that you're just rejecting your true self i think i think it's really important for people to try and make people understand you don't know jack [ __ ] about the world things literally don't make sense um because if you can start to question that fundamental belief there might be a tiny reason to keep looking try to find the answer to that because if you're wrong and you kill yourself you're probably going to have a bad time let's say reincarnation is real and you kill yourself what happens if there is a god then he judges you where does he put you are there multiple [Music] universes will he just put you in a really shitty place maybe there's a universe where cardboard just live for a million years in a nuclear wasteland maybe you become one of those who knows but are you willing to risk that right now yeah uh [Music] better better the demons you know than the demons you don't know that's what we say uh what about this what about this idea i i had a very good friend who said he called himself mr worst case scenario because he would when presented with options and choices in the future like in front of him he would imagine the worst case scenario every time and uh it may be a sort of form of pessimism but maybe it's good to prepare for the worst case scenario can you talk a little bit about optimism pessimism and a sort of fantasy that we can have about not only about the future but we can have a fantasy about the past and we can have a fantasy about the present and how important and how liberating it is to be grounded in reality where we're actually not importing all kinds of color and a soundtrack that's going to drive you crazy with the horror music into every situation so you could be at a grocery store there's a cute little family there and then the mother and the child whatever in their head is nice music's playing but you're there you're all messed up not you but i mean whoever we're talking about and you've got this horrible soundtrack in your head and everything's overshadowed with your with this baggage psychologically that you're bringing into this nice little scene here so i think there's a lot of baggage we can bring in how do people uh get aware of that what they're importing into the past present and future and a lot of people do dwell on the past but um and how do they clear that up and sort of get more in touch with a cleaner simpler bare bones assessment of what is really happening right now do i need to be panicked do i need to be depressed do i need you know i my temperature good okay i've eaten recently yeah i've got a glass of water i just had a sip everything's good these level just basics like this is reality this is a nice safe space i'm in here right now like how do people get grounded and get out of the habit of fantasizing okay so to answer that i'm gonna answer and i'll ask you a question where do you see me where do you hear me right here right now yeah where am i for you right now you're on my screen you're in you're in uh norway everything you see is a hallucination by the brain everything you hear is just your ears transforming vibrations into electrical signals interpreted by your brain and then you hear some kind of sound i get this from saguru everything everything you experience in life positive negative fundamentally this experience comes from within you don't see things on the outside you just see the light reflecting into you if everything you know everything you experience everything you hear everything you see is fundamentally within you why would you choose to feel miserable that that is basically my answer to your question uh it's kind of a different answer but uh it's deep yeah it's deep it's spiritual yeah you it's just how you decide to look at it if you scroll back the society you scroll back all the lives you tell yourself do you have food are you able to drink water can can you go take a [ __ ] without being eaten by some animal yeah you're probably good oh yeah well you know you know there's a website that talks about how wealthy you are like which percentile you're in in terms of wealth worldwide like everyone i've ever met yourself included is in that like at least 95th percentile like we're all at the top of the pile right and i like to emphasize the fact the alleged fact i don't the real stats are god knows but the alleged fact that every five to ten seconds a child dies of hunger because they don't have food water and these sorts of things so um you know it's a matter of perspective appreciation is a matter of perspective and uh quite often you know you see someone i'll be walking down the street complaining about how shitty my life is and i see someone in a wheelchair or someone that's blind and then i think to myself uh i shouldn't be complaining right now not while this person's within my sights right for less than 50 bucks you can go buy ten that's better quality than what 70 or 80 of the world will ever know ever live and ever be sheltered in and you can buy that tent use it for two times to drink beer in the forest and then throw it out and don't give a [ __ ] go back to your fancy house powered by electricity heat there's food five minutes away if you have a little more money you can get everything delivered to your door people are bored people are bored oh i'm bored what am i gonna eat and i stand in front of the fridge stand in front of the fridge oh there's nothing to eat tell that to the family of 10 or in the developing world you're able to choose what you eat i just caught this pig you know the fact it still amazes me that i can walk up to a faucet and open it and there's potable water like drinkable water it's like what what it's not full of [ __ ] very few parasites you know yes it's amazing like i mean i think i think we need to as westerners we need to take stock of what where we're at and how spoiled we are and i mean there is a correlation obviously with the luxurious lifestyle we have in the west and the mental illnesses that we have if we look at the the diagnostic manuals they just keep adding stuff they do remove stuff too like it used to be a mental illness to be homosexual until the early 70s they removed that now it's just cute but um yeah so uh the diagnosis but my point was my point was that usually they add stuff and people a lot more people now uh are falling prey to different disorders like uh gender dysphoria whatever it might be called and i'm sure eventually that will be removed uh as some being something abnormal it would just be considered normal too right it's just the way our western society is going normalizing uh perversion sexual perversion normalizing mental illness normalizing all kinds of things that are sick but i don't know what you want to say about all that i'm i'm not really that i try to be optimistic for our society okay uh i i see no reason to try to be pessimistic there's a sick humor to absolutely everything uh the one way to look at it is let's say the vaccine just kills people let's say that the crazy people most of most of them let's say they are right and all the vaccinated people are gonna die in five years probably not that smart if they're taking mandatory mandatory drugs from the people actively saying you think they want to depopulate them what do you mean no you have the world leaders saying we need less people on the earth okay and we we need to if we have less people we don't need that many resources yeah they would say and then then the same people say you need to take all of these medications you need to take 54 boosters before the age of 12. and could continue on with this random [ __ ] eat the process eat the bugs if you want to live in the city you don't want to go into nature if you're depressed don't think about the problem take this drug so you don't feel any feeling i i i'm not positive about that but it looks like it's gonna fix itself somehow they're not really that smart okay i see what you're saying okay i see what you're saying i mean they are on the record like i thought you're being uh facetious but they are they are on the record uh that they do want to reduce the population and all this ecological stuff world economic forum have been saying for over over 10 years now that the the optimal amount of people living on earth is around 500 million didn't there is some big pillar about that the stones the something stone yeah maybe this one was just yeah yeah yeah i forget what it's called but i think it's in the united states it just magically appeared one day no i wonder who can afford to use a lot of money on big-ass stones transport them into random position without anybody knowing anything if i try to do that the police are going to be on my ass in about five minutes you should try it just for fun though yeah let's go so uh you know i i don't want to go too dark down the rabbit hole of uh these nihilistic baby killers i mean uh the people who run the world from my catholic perspective you have to understand that there is god who's all good and then the highest angel that he created satan fell from grace and became an enemy of god and an enemy of all creation and satan is the prince of this world he's running this world and his helpers are helping him to grab precious souls for hell so that god can't have them and it's it's a big middle finger to god like hahahaha i got your precious souls and uh so that's a catholic perspective put in a nutshell and so from some both rights yeah well i mean i i think i think i think a lot of people that uh went into 2020 just as a sort of uh naive realist like yeah life is like this and i got my job and i got my schooling and i got my fiancee whatever uh when covet hit a lot of people were awakened to the spiritual battle i know people that were awakened to the reality of good and evil on a spiritual supernatural plane they're like oh my god this i'm i'm an atheist but i get it now i get it there's a battle between good and evil now this is not everyone this is the exceptional but i have seen people undergo this transformation have you seen it and what do you think's happening from your perspective yeah i say i've been through it myself started in about 2014 watched this clip of alex jones that my brother showed me just for the meme of it seeing him talking about these interdimensional demons trying to eat the babies and [ __ ] everybody over you like do some crazy ass [ __ ] and then the pandemic hit and you see what these people actually are doing uh you see what they're promoting you see what it leads to it starts to make a lot of sense turns out he was right about pretty much everything from my first personal personal experience i have 144 the number following me all the [ __ ] time uh for my own research it could indicate that i should read one word in the bible with the the end of the days yeah i think it's isn't it 144 000 souls that shall rise from the earth ascended into the kingdom of heaven or something yeah and read the book of revelation yeah yeah kind kind of [ __ ] up that i started seeing this number and all these demonic [ __ ] start happening um spook spooky yeah so what is your what is your psychological or spiritual defense against uh the demons for lack of a better word what what are your main weapons because as a christian i have prayer i have the sacraments i have humility where i don't think of myself as more than i am i think of myself as just exactly what i am in god's eyes but what are your main tools i use a lot of music if i'm if i'm struggling but generally i just i try to relax not try to panic to be centered to be grounded to be speaking of the taoist teaching there's the living like water which i i try to do and if you get into that you don't really need to worry about anything you just try to be like the water like right now we've been kicked out of this house don't really have a place to live for about about a month but from this new place in the middle of norway in the mountains with an ancient church from 1200 built by the vikings one of the biggest in the country and we just found this perfect little house so i've been panicking about this and being kicked out everything's dark where the [ __ ] might go in the game wherever i'm gonna put my things holy [ __ ] and certainly just everything don't need makes sense about it just things just happen just be like to bother just be non-resistant if life pushes you in one direction go that way don't try to force it have you ever stood in a powerful river it doesn't really work your best defense is just to go with it or else you're gonna be like the rocks because you're gonna be cut down life is gonna cut you open [ __ ] you up for lack of a bad word you could you could drown in the river or you could just float on top chilling enjoying the sun and your perspective is just where you are in that river sounds like a lot of wisdom a lot of deep wisdom from a young man with ptsd allegedly yeah speaking of society i watched that not too much but he uh he has so many based takes when you when you're hurt you can become hurt or you can become wise every bad things that happens to you teaches you what not to do you you touch the hot stop stop burn your fingers that's what's more to do when you live with an abusive piece of [ __ ] at the age of a baby not building this ground of security not trusting anybody you look at people in a different way you there's there's a judgment but i wouldn't say superficial judgment i people can say whatever they want they can believe whatever they want but are you a good person what are you what are your intention let's say i love what the right-wing memes i i offer free helicopter rides to the communist let's say but i don't want to literally kill every [ __ ] communist most of them are just people that want people to live a good life but they're either too stupid ignorant to realize it leads to the thing they want to avoid but that's just a matter of education calling them a stupid [ __ ] isn't going to help oh i'm a stupid [ __ ] oh thank you oh i've been waiting for someone to liberate me from my stupidity and my retardation thank you so much for letting me know that was the problem that was the problem okay okay thank you that would be good if that worked if that worked that would just be so much fun like just go everywhere and just say hey you're a stupid [ __ ] and so are you and so are you wow no no don't thank me don't like me don't thank me just send money okay uh no but seriously uh how do we how do we shift the the tide like the the it seem i don't wanna be dark okay but it seems since covet like uh you know since basically 9 11 my eyes have been opened to the fact that oh the government's not my friend okay it's not my friend they're evil they don't have good principles philosophical metaphysical spiritual principles they have a worldly vision where it's mine mine mine mine and this is good for me and my family or my friends or whatever so uh how do you reason with these people how do you displace them from positions of power and influence like i don't believe in the justice system i don't believe in the political system i don't think we can hey i'm gonna go vote for this guy because he seems better than the guy that's currently in power well the reason he seems better is because he's not yet in power right that's why he seems better because he's not yet corrupt to that degree because he doesn't have that degree of power am i wrong like i mean what what is the solution here big question but i believe power is just an illusion every all power is an illusion by the people trying to be in power so the emperor wears no clothes uh-huh ancient stories related to modern situations who could have thought but let's take china for example what what would happen if the people in china just threw their phone into the sewer the chinese communist party would lose their absolute [ __ ] not being able to track anyone and if all those people who drew their phone just ripped off the cameras what would happen do you think they have more police or an army than people living there i i'm not advocating like violent revolution because i don't believe that happens but just literally don't give a [ __ ] the government tells you to do something it's probably a good indication you shouldn't do it they want you to move into the city buy a farmhouse grow your own food maybe make your own power who knows buy some forest so you can eat your home in case of emergency it's not really difficult people live this way for so many years and i don't think people would have a problem going going back to it let's say temporarily to fix some of these issues and this thing has all the power it's tracking you the phone tracking you oh it's angry oh no you pissed it off listen to everything you say sending all the information information to all the people and you allow it because you like your phone so they're just going to keep pushing keep pushing and they're like you want your phone or your freedom most people are going to lose their [ __ ] hopefully if not i'm living in the mountain alone either way well yeah it's uh it brings to mind when you talk uh about the population in china for example it brings to mind a video i saw years ago about a pack of water buffaloes and they were attacked by three lions i think it was three lions you may have seen the video it went viral uh years ago but anyway uh for whatever reason the lion attacked a baby water buffalo i forget what the proper name for a baby water buffalo is but anyway uh for the first time in a nature video i saw the the victim or whatever you want to call it like the the lower status animal bring all their huge numbers and muscle power against this handful three enemies predators and there's absolutely no competition when you've got a bunch of like two ton water buffaloes up against three lions that don't even weigh one ton each uh it's not a fair fight right it's not a fair fight it's just psychologically it's like oh i'm the prey and you're the hunter you are above me you have power and i just okay you can eat me now because he caught me no they realized for whatever reason these water buffalo realize hey we're bigger we're stronger and we have more numbers so they rescued their young from the lion it was so heart-wrenching to watch it was so inspirational like why are we submitting to the powers that be we outnumber them we're smarter than them not only we outnumber them we're smarter than they are yeah but you see with alternative media the the main problem is the fear the spreading of fear amongst people because there is a pretty powerful motivator if you think you're gonna die you're gonna do something about it no matter who you are no matter how lazy you are you're gonna do something about it right unless you're really [ __ ] stupid but then you're probably already dead sad sad have you been disappointed well i don't know i mean this is a strange question to ask you of all people because you're probably disappointed with most humans on the face of the earth but were you disappointed were you extra disappointed by uh some of the so-called normies and how how they uh went along to get along with the uh government's tyrannies oh yeah it it's been really funny i i just look at it with humor at least try to i have a really really left-leaning anti-fascist on my facebook i'm seeing him promoting putting on the mask taking the government mandated vaccine supporting putting unvaccinated people into [ __ ] camps and him hating nazi germany above everything kind of running really funny and all really sad but how do people not reflect on this well i noticed myself when i went to school we didn't learn anything about communism we learned the basic but we didn't know that one of the lowest estimates estimations of how many people died on the communism is what well 80 million on the really low end and that's believing the low end of their own documented numbers then you have the 6 million killed by germany still really sad but six million they killed a lot of gays as well so many people died but we focus on this one group i'm not gonna go too much into the anti-semitic i don't really believe that i think it i think most of it is just pure cancer but there are some elements of truth to it yeah um i'm not advocating in any way but this is kind of interesting to me um he had nazi germany had the jews be completely [ __ ] over and then the jews inspired the communist revolution in russia creating a global system oppressing people which basically take orders from let's say the jews or the banks or whatever run by the same people anyway um really don't like anti-semitic semitism but i can't start a bank well there's something known as the cycle of abuse right like where you i and i hope you don't fall into this if you have a child that you would abuse it like your father abused you i hope and pray that would never happen and so do you right yeah we don't want that but it's but it's something to be aware of i mean it's something to be aware of and you have to watch yourself because it's just it's just an itch that you can't scratch and it's just you just want to you just want to deal with it it's just like anything else you've got pornography addiction it's just like you know it's dark you know it's evil but it's like it's attractive so um you know it's like that so you just gotta be careful but with the jews uh you know uh i don't claim to understand the history especially because i don't know who wrote the history books right so i'm very skeptical about uh when the demonic baby killers that run the world tell me that hitler was the bad guy i just take that with a grain of salt period period okay period like muammar gaddafi and all that i liked him i liked anyone the west opposed i liked osama bin laden i'm not saying these are heroes i'm not saying these are good guys i'm not saying that but i just had some i have sympathy for the underdog anyone the west is trying to crush and demonize i just think well it might not be 100 true what the west is telling me because i know the west the regime in the west is evil it's sick it's demonic and it's evil so let's take that with a grain of salt and all the bad guys i'm sure they were bad but are they better worse i mean at this point it's just ridiculous to even compare right like i mean i have my catholic saints i've got god jesus christ the blessed virgin mary i've got all these saints they're wonderful i don't need to pick between you know muammar gaddafi and uh osama bin laden like i mean i don't need to go that low you know i've got my model my my who i'm supposed to imitate right but my point here is i'm very skeptical and uh i have sympathy for the underdog and anyone that the west is attacking yeah the only thing we know is that we know absolutely nothing when they tell this sincere child history is written by the winners yep are they going to are they going to tell us what happened with the jfk assassination like i mean come on just tell us what happened it's like it's okay we're not going to be angry we're not going to be angry just tell us what happened they're not going to tell us could could be some really weird [ __ ] that would just uncover this big wormhole that you're not supposed to really know about like and it's and it's connected to epstein island and everything else it's all connected it's okay i can't probably know an alien didn't escape area 51 and killed the president because he was mad he was kidnapped for 10 years no we don't know i just say be open to any possibility don't don't be locked in one opinion one belief i think with the spiritual it probably doesn't matter at this point of my research right yeah yeah there's a danger there's a there's a demonic element to the conspiracy theory rabbit holes too it's just a cute little distraction for people so it's like uh you know it's it's a preoccupation that doesn't really manifest in any action concrete action against the evil powers that be right it's just like i'm there on my computer i believe this and i believe that oh really i don't think you should believe that because i think you should believe this and that it's like okay keep busy with all that nonsense while we continue to run the world and to uh drug you up and put you into camps and it's just a prison it's a prison planet right it's like you got you've got okay you've got one hours a week outdoor in the basketball courts enjoy oh thank you so much but it's also sad because most people just need to get out of the city and you're free is that a is that a mountain behind you am i looking out a window behind you yeah smoke that's real life yeah um can i send you some pictures yeah send me send me links to pictures it's beautiful yeah it's really beautiful what time of day is it there it's uh 11 in the evening oh okay wow there's still light in the sky yeah wow so do you yodel no that's not a that's not a norse thing you know is it what's the adjective norse norwegian norwegian yeah norwegian norwegian north is the culture with more mostly referred to the viking ages you look like a viking thank you so what else do you want to talk about here we've done an hour and i've got two more interviews so we can't talk too much longer but uh what are some of the uh topics that you want to dwell on maybe something more positive because i've been going down this government is evil track and it's not too uh it's not too happy of a topic but uh what are some of the other things you'd like to talk to talk with me about and i'll have you back another time don't worry about that we don't need to talk about everything but uh what are some other things you want to touch on just today briefly before we wrap up um people need to realize who them who they are peel back the [ __ ] realize start with the body you're not the body this is going to be placed in seven years you're not the mind the mind is just a tool it's a tool for for living in this reality but it is not the reality find out who you are who are you just looking you're just observing if i say a pink elephant don't think about pink elephant most people are going to get a pink elephant in their mind if you're rational this is enough proof you don't control this mind this isn't you so as the beauty says speaking of being happy being positive every suffering no to man is caused by identifying with that you are not if you're identifying with the body and you cut yourself you won't be sad if you don't identify with the body but you appreciate having it you appreciate mother earth giving you this body you're just borrowing it when you cut yourself you're probably gonna be pretty amazed it closes up it fixes itself and you just need to sit there do absolutely nothing how the [ __ ] does it do that and just think about what is this life what are you what are you watching if this is the spectrum of light you can observe this much let's say the sun we only see it that much light how the [ __ ] do we know it's not this infinitely big connected web of anything or if it's a god if it's any it's an eye we only see this tiny light it's important to know we observe literally nothing of reality and also everything we know is reality is nothing 99 of all objects is empty space you could collect the entire human race in here if you remove the distance so probably don't take take things too seriously and i really love the shakespeare quote life is just a play and we are all actors playing our part so just play your part don't you don't give a [ __ ] don't let the very influence you if it's going to kill you and there's nothing you can do about it there's nothing you can do about it it's quite obvious if there's a plague going around that's gonna spread you're probably not gonna be one of the few that avoid it so try giving it the survival give your body a chance your ancestors survived in a way worse environment for hundreds of thousands of years so you are here probably got some tricks up their sleep let's see excellent well thank you for sharing uh so much you shared so much with us in a brief hour i i look forward to yeah i look forward to uh getting to know you better and uh having you back on i hope you enjoyed uh our little discussion i know you're a little bit nervous is it gonna be a debate is it gonna what's it gonna be and all these sorts of things right yes the trap what's gonna happen it's gonna be like the i don't know if you're a crazy christian dude oh you're you said this you mentioned multiple gods you got [ __ ] demons following you bro i know this i haven't loved him friend he's always saying you got jeans around you you need to watch out well i mean you know uh we could talk about we could talk about uh the individual path to uh to heaven in our next episode but uh you know there's no point in worrying about oh my god i met this guy i'm so worried he's not catholic oh what am i gonna do oh no i mean can you imagine living like that it's like no i'm not in control hello i'm not in control i'm not god right i believe in god god is good god loves you and you're a better person than i am so why would i be worried about your salvation i should be worried about my salvation that's the christian way right that's the christian way i want what's best for you just like i want what's best for me that's what jesus said you have to love even your enemies even your enemies you have to wish them well that's what love is wishing someone well so no i mean there you have to you have to make a big distinction between faith and religion faith is that connection that supernatural mystical connection like you are interested in right cut the [ __ ] that's faith and then religion is oh i did this and i did that and you didn't do it therefore i'm better than you right and judging the heart of the other person like you know why they make the choices that they make you don't know you don't know the trauma they've been through you don't know why they have an aversion to this or to that i mean um so yeah we we have to refrain from judging and we have to be uh kind and generous and loving and uh i mean it's just it's just um it's common sense to live and let live this is why i'm attracted more and more during covert i'm more and more attracted to what some would call the right wing because there's more of a live and let live attitude that's why that's why i'm reaching out to gripers i don't know if you consider yourself a gruiper or not but there's this movement of young people and a lot of them are are actually catholic but they're young and they're on the right wing of politics in the united states predominantly united states but there's a certain uh humor freedom from uh peer pressure like just a sort of a fu attitude and just like they like to have fun and uh they ironically they get accused of being white supremacists and all this but they're like some of the least judgmental people you'll ever meet right live and let live like and accept accept the differences and we can talk about things without getting hot under the collar so uh yeah the the whole um the the politics in the west uh in north america in particular and in canada in particular and i'm in quebec and quebec it's very very left and it's uh it's a toxic it's a toxic way of constantly judging uh the neighbor constantly trying to control and uh the ministry of truth you heard about that in the states right they had the the ministry of uh yeah that was fun i'm really happy we mean it to death 2016 all over again it's amazing so there's this battle going on and i'm very excited i'm very excited about this this generation this young generation of kids who are feisty they're you know they're uh strong-minded they're not pushovers they're not scared to be called racist or holocaust denier and that's something i wanted to say to you you know a lot of these liptards like they i don't know what your your position is on abortion but i'm pro-life always been pro-life and a lot of these baby killers you know they are very uptight about the whole jewish question and the holocaust and all this sort of thing so my new joke is i haven't tried it on the liptard yet but my new joke is to call them holocaust deniers and then they'll be like oh no no no no i'm not a holocaust denier and then i reveal my joke the punch line and my joke is not the the nazi holocaust i'm talking about the holocaust of abortion right like you're you're in denial that this is happening this child sacrifice millions of babies right millions i think it's something something like a million a year that gets slaughtered in the womb right yeah and some outside the womb as well yeah fourth trimester yeah um there's this really good clip with alex jones on the joe rogan podcast and they pull up sources you are allowed to keep the baby alive to harvest the organs yeah yeah big money big money what the [ __ ] are we paying taxes to people harvesting babies yeah why you got a problem with that you're gonna be in a concentration camp you're gonna be in a concentration camp then buddy you got a problem with that bro i got the big [ __ ] viking bad lucks hiding in the mountains come at me being formed so uh you know uh i i don't want to name names but i know someone very close to me who went from pro choice to pro life because of covet and because of because it was revealed this whole organ harvesting thing it's a powerful powerful thing when satan takes his mask off it's good for us it's good for us for those of us who are able to uh still able to think rationally right there's some people are completely asleep he could take his mask off he could get the horns out he could show the tail he could show the pitchfork and they're still going to be like oh you know just like completely oblivious because like you said earlier about the emperor wearing no clothes like people are literally seeing a full set of clothes on the naked emperor right so it doesn't matter if satan takes his mask off for those people but some people have common sense and some people are able to think rationally without the group think and the peer pressure and then they're like wait a minute this is not right is it like to harvest organs from an innocent baby and then kill it and sell the parts that's not right is it no uh i think it's really sad that the medical professional medical fields are all looking in this direction why babies just let the kids be alone we got plants we got all these other things on this earth that can help us help us improve our life uh what is our first instinct to kill the babies and instead of eating healthy um instead of not literally bathing every food item in huge amounts of sugar and the diabetic crisis the obesity crisis we are we're all doing so much that's not healthy and on the abortion thing i just remembered what i was about to say uh no i didn't my brain is [ __ ] with me the you were talking about the babies harvesting the organs with her literally shut itself off i don't know i lost the point it will come to you it'll come to you as soon as we hang up i got it i got it so then we'll save that for next time we'll save that one for next time great to meet you my friend uh let's keep in touch on twitter and uh i'll have you back another time but i gotta run now but uh take good care of yourself yeah you do very nice to meet you okay yeah nice to meet you good bye bye have a good one yeah thanks bye