CVS Live Guest - 2022-05-15 - Speckzo

Author Streamed Sunday May 15th, 2022

There are 74 episodes in the Guest:Solo series.

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CVS Live Guest - 2022-05-01 - Ben

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CVS Live Guest - 2022-04-12 - Joe

Streamed February 10th, 2022

CVS Live Guest - 2022-02-10 - Aidan Lisney

Streamed January 30th, 2022

CVS Live Guest - 2022-01-30 - TJ

Streamed December 31st, 2021

CVS Live Guest - 2021-12-31 - Zackery

Streamed September 26th, 2021

CVS Live Guest - 2021-09-26 - Nikola Krcic

Streamed September 18th, 2021

CVS Live Guest - 2021-09-18 - Bill Whatcott

Streamed September 17th, 2021

CVS Live Guest - 2021-09-17 - Nathan

Streamed September 3rd, 2021

CVS Live Guest - 2021-09-03 - Chad Ellis

Streamed March 21st, 2021

CVS Live Guest - 2021-03-21 - Ben

Streamed February 28th, 2021

CVS Live Guest - 2021-02-28 - Nikola Krcic

Streamed February 23rd, 2020

CVS Live Guest - 2020-02-23 - Pykris

Streamed February 22nd, 2020

CVS Live Guest - 2020-02-22 - Aidan Lisney

Streamed January 25th, 2020

CVS Live Guest - 2020-01-25 - Kalen R.

I met Speckzo on Telegram and followed him on YouTube where his about page says: 65 Catholic. Kingship of Christ is my political ideology. Husband and father of two.


CVS Live Guest - 2022-05-15 - Speckzo

Author Streamed January 11th, 2020

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These YouTube transcripts are generated automatically and are therefore unformatted and replete with errors.
three two one and we're live i'm here with Speckzo did I pronounce that right hey hi hey what's up all right there we go all right spectacle how do you pronounce your aspects though nice to see you nice to uh hear your voice nice to see you too thanks for coming on brother and uh so as i usually do with new guests that i don't know maybe it's good to give a little introduction in your own words your faith journey where you come from philosophically religiously that sort of stuff if you don't mind sure um well i was born i was baptized catholic uh but i was raised very irreligiously my grandparents on my father's side were super devout catholics very into activism in the pro-life scene um my mom's father was very religious um but my parents were not very religious um and i grew up not like at without a belief in god but it just wasn't front center in my life at all i did go to a lutheran school for like six years from preschool to like third grade which was really weird because nobody in my family is lutheran at all and um like i learned the general topics about the bible and about christ and things like that but it was obviously from a lutheran perspective and uh then you know as i got older i kind of drifted away from believing in god at all and by the time i got into high school i kind of just said like i don't believe in god and around that time i started getting into like the reddit scene and there was our atheism was very popular back then and i basically became like a militant atheist like super cringe loved richard dawkins and stuff and i became like very militant and abrasive about it to the point where i would go out of my way to start debates with people who had faith and i would like try to disprove their uh their faith in god and stuff and i was like that for like a good like seven years or so and um oh by the way anybody in my chat just let me know how my um what's it called my uh my mic sounds if it's all right um dalton raid okay um sorry because i'm using a new mic but anyway so i um i started uh i was really super militantly atheist and um then i guess like through a series of events because i had um like a problem with drugs when i was a teenager and stuff and uh you know i was very promiscuous and thinking about it now i was actually just talking to this about this with uh pine sap recently i started i started realizing that my atheism was really just out of convenience and it was just a justification to do whatever made me feel good because if there is no god and there is no meaning to life or anything like that then you know whatever i can just do it whatever feels good and there's no consequences for any type of sin there's no real objective morality and um i lived that way for a really long time even when i got off drugs i was still an atheist so i was still doing degenerate stuff without care about any type of consequences and then um through a series of events it was basically like getting into politics with trump and then getting further into uh dissident right-wing politics and stuff and then parallel to that at the same time i also went through a couple of personal tragedies finding one of my uh good family friends dead and stuff like that and it kind of made me like question um like is this really all there is is there really nothing else and um i guess you could say that sparked something like maybe there is a higher power and um like i basically and also by this time i was already like out of like being a militant atheist because i realized that that our atheism scene was basically just a political facade using atheism as like a starting point to push political agendas such as like abortion and gay rights and stuff like that and i started like questioning like wait why are we supposed to be disproving god but all we're talking about is gay rights and all the only people that you're uh talking bad about are christians you're never attacking muslims or jews or anything like that so it kind of seemed like it was more of an agenda it wasn't really about like uh the conviction of not believing in god right so um then after like a couple of tragedies and going through uh political stuff i started looking into like the history of europe and stuff and i kept hearing everybody say like oh well europe was so successful because it was like uh racial unity and stuff like that or whatever and when i started looking into it the reason that europe didn't like succumb to like muslim hordes and everything like that the the real unity was through uh the christian faith right was through the catholic church uniting them to fight to fight them and so i started to really appreciate uh christianity and um you know i didn't really believe in the story of christ but i believed that it was obviously very important and i guess i considered myself culturally christian if that makes sense and um i don't know it was just like a gradual process like i say that basically my politics led me to my faith and then my faith transformed my politics basically and now my faith just guides my politics but um i guess it got to a point where um as i was looking into more religions and seeing like well i kind of believe that there's a higher power and if there is a higher power then there has to be a a correct way to to worship him and to praise him he had to like leave us clues you know so i started doing research into religion or whatever and um christian uh who really actually like convinced me of the divinity of jesus christ was lee strobel who is a protestant but he had this great lecture called the case for christ um and he also has a book and it's a movie and stuff like that but i watched this lecture it's like a 45 minute lecture and what he does is basically go over the secular evidence of the resurrection for christ and that basically like just struck a chord with me and i was like i was like how can you how can anybody disprove this right and like then you look at like other secular sources and even the jews and the talmud who would have like the the biggest excuse not to believe in the resurrection of christ uh you know they'll try to make excuses for it but they don't deny that the tomb was empty and stuff and um that's basically when i went okay i think christ is uh is real i think he was the son of god and then you know i was like dabbling with it i was basically just like non-denominational or whatever and um then i guess i had like a religious experience which sounds a little gay but it's true um i was and it was actually christmas 2018 when i found uh found out that my wife was pregnant with my first daughter and um i remember that we told our whole family everybody was all happy and stuff like that and you know my wife went in the shower and i was sitting on the couch and uh i was just like thinking about my life and thinking about where i came from and how i did such horrible things and like i'm just looking around like at all these like blessings that i have in my life that i did not do anything to deserve you know that like i like of my own will i got none of this stuff you know and i just like started crying like the first tiers of joy that i ever cried in my life and started thanking god and that like made me really want to get serious about my faith and find out what the truth was and from there it was just a journey and uh i started studying and landed on catholicism and it basically changed my whole entire worldview talk us through your very first session in the confession booth please the very first uh let's see so it was um don't tell me you don't remember please don't tell me of course i remember i i remember it was it was very it was very uh awkward um so it was uh during the very beginning of covid so i was in rcia with my wife uh we both were getting confirmed at the same time and uh we had to do our first confession i think before if i'm remembering this correctly we had to do our first confession before getting confirmed the next day i believe um and so they didn't have regular like confessional boots it was like you're just literally sitting across from the priest so i had to like tell him like face to face and it was like weird because i had to like i was i was already married to my wife right but we were married civilly so we weren't married in the church yet so i had to like confess to pre-marital sex with my wife even though i was like married to her right and i was like like this is so awkward and then he was like asking me like specifics when i was like like confessing to him right i was like uh yeah i did drugs and he was like oh what kind of drugs oh how many how many times and i was like i don't know and then he was like oh did you have sex with any other girls and i was like uh yeah and he was like how many girls i was like i don't know like it was so awkward but yeah i actually honestly don't even know but um but it's bad and i disavow that i am a non-incel pro incel i think everybody should remain celibate until they're married i i wish i did i was actually talking to somebody recently like i would give anything to like erase all the degenerate stuff that i did in my past yeah yeah yeah yeah so uh what's the best experience you ever had uh confessing your sins was that the best one did you get a lot off your chest or did it take you a couple of tries like for me i converted 2009 my first confession was horrible i didn't do a good job with it and uh i had to sort of practice to get good at it and i've made a couple i've made like three or four general confessions since then and i've had a couple of very fantastic experiences especially when i went in knowing that i'm in the state of uh mortal sin and that i'm going to hell like i am going to hell unless i get a sacramental confession so i had a lot of uh from low to high walk in feeling low walk out feeling high can you just sort of talk about that experience from your own uh perspective the the experience of one of going because the light is a feather when you come out of the coast oh yeah okay so yeah every time i go to confession for me it's like a whole new world is opened up like i feel like it's it's indescribable right like every time i go to confession but i will say that i am one of the things i suffer with very much is uh scrupulosity right so bad like it's insane like to the point where if i'm not sure that i'm in mortal sin which i've i've listened to uh they have this great um homily on census fidelum which definitely helped me a lot uh just look up um census fidelum uh scrupulosity and uh it basically like if i i don't know i know that i sinned but if i don't know if i'm immortal sin like i'll beat myself up over that and then to the point where i won't receive the eucharist until i go to confession next right and i was like going crazy in my head about this like all the time you know but another thing i struggle with which i struggle with which i think is even worse is that if i commit um if i commit one mortal sin right my my brain or i guess you could say satan will convince me like oh well you can do other stuff too now because you're already in mortal sin so you might as well just go crazy until you go to confession again and that's that i struggle with that uh so bad but once i go to confession and i come out it's like i'm i never want to sin again i'm gonna just dedicate my entire life to jesus christ or whatever i feel like a totally new person and uh but then of course you ever we always end up sitting listening because it's in our uh it's on our nature how old are you i'm 29 29. i was 39 when i converted and i mean i'm not young with raging hormones but i still have the temptation for sexual sin you know lust lust and you know sinning just with uh with my eyeballs looking at sexy women on the street on the billboards on tv and movies everywhere like it's just you can't avoid it not to mention the internet but you know i did a pretty good job of avoiding uh porn on the internet since my conversion but i have fallen a couple of times but um you know that that idea that you know oh well i'm already dirty i may as well just roll around in the muck and eat my own uh vomit like i mean uh it's there's a good antidote to that way of thinking and it's a really scary antidote i read it in saint alphonsus lu guri he talks about the fact that we don't know how many times god is going to give us that grace to repent and to have sorrow for sin and to you know to have that contrition like it's a god-given thing so once we realize it's a god-given thing and that we have a certain number of graces that will be doled out to us and then after that once you know we've hardened our heart sufficiently just by abusing the graces of god then we don't get any more grace and we're just hardened in our sin and uh you're damned right so that feeling you have of repentance is a real gift and it's not a gift that you can bank on you can't bank on it you can't take it for granted that's the sin of presumption so you know i i understand perfectly well that feeling i've done it myself uh where you think well what the heck you know i may as well just keep indulging but um i was really moved by saint alphonsus liguori do you know him no never heard of him you can read his stuff his work on death preparation for death is amazing all this stuff is amazing the glories of mary uh when you listen about if you listen back to this or take notes the glories of mary you've got to read the glories of mary are you a big fan of mary obviously of course yeah she's she's no i love her i had a bit of a mystical vision before my confirmation because i was baptized uh validly illicitly but validly in a protestant church growing up and three months old so um that was a real disappointment to discover that because i wanted to be baptized so i could have all the uh consequences of my sins wiped out along with my you know giving forgiveness and then i get the the temporal punishment due to sin will be wiped out too if i got the baptism but i wasn't able to have that i just had the confirmation but um i was choosing a confirmation name and i really love saint augustine and i was going to choose that and then uh just a night or two before my confirmation i had a dream or a vision whatever you want to call it i don't know if it was mystical or just a dream but it was mary and she told me you're going to take the name mary not the name augustine so i'm david mary andrew so st mary is your your confirmation scene yeah nice hello heavy dude my confirmation saint is saint louis the ninth um uh who was king and i think the uh 1400 or 1200s i think of france and um the reason i picked him actually is a kind of silly meme reason but uh because i saw a quote uh on a meme from him that said uh the best way to deal with the blasphemer is to stick your sword as far as you can in his bowels or something i was like oh okay that's a base quote so i'm just going to pick him but i was originally going to pick saint simon of trent who uh was one a boy who was um murdered by jews in a blood ritual a christian boy who was kidnapped by uh jewish radicals or whatever and like they drank his blood allegedly and uh i thought he was a saint but apparently he's not officially canonized so i can't like use him um as a confrontation so i picked st louis and then after he was my confirmation saying i started looking into him and he's like the archetype of like the the best type of uh monarchical figure you could want and uh he's not a libtard no definitely not so you can't you can't be you can't be libertarian catholic catholicism is anti-lib tardiness what what are some of the big uh influences uh on your way into the church where you're like i don't want to be kind of like oh shucks i gotta be catholic now cause i read this that and the other thing for me it was the confessions of saint augustine that that converted me to christianity from generic monotheism i was a default uh muslim because i was sort of a generic monotheist did not want to be christian because i hated christianity my whole life i was an atheistic satanist at that point when i converted and heard solipsists actually i'd fallen right into the deepest abyss of philosophical inquiry because i was studying philosophy as a hobby for like many years but um yeah i did not want to be christian i hated christianity i hated christ in his church but i went to the mass with a monk because a monk walked into the store where i was working on a computer repair shop i wanted to talk to him about god because i was a monotheist and uh he took me to his monastery and he took me to mass and i said i'm in i don't believe in christ i don't believe in the trinity i don't believe in the incarnation i don't believe in any of that stuff but i am in because what i want you have what i want is to worship god i want to worship god i have to worship god not only do i have to worship god i have to worship god publicly i knew that that was an impulse that i had it was like a sort of a mystical sort of um sort of like this infused knowledge i had where public worship is necessary i don't know if you felt that uh for when i wanted to convert to catholicism like what you when you found god did you want to worship him publicly or did you just want to see oh yeah absolutely absolutely i wanted to no i wanted to dedicate my whole life life to him like even even my even my uh my content changed my family though i was insane for a little while yeah um you know like uh so so uh what i don't know i think you asked like what really like first started me towards catholicism yeah especially the reading especially the writing so i wasn't i wasn't much of a big reader until i got until i got into catholicism i was more of like watching podcasts and watching videos on youtube and stuff like that and i'd hate to say it because i'm not a fan of him anymore but ironically what originally like convinced me of catholicism was taylor marshall right and um so let me preface this so uh when i when i after i had that like religious awakening or whatever right and i was like okay what's the real christianity i gotta figure out like what is the correct path or whatever it legit took me like two hours to realize like okay protestantism is just silly goose nonsense that's not that's not it right and um so then i was stuck between catholicism and orthodoxy so i was literally watching like hours of debates uh between uh orthodox and catholics and stuff like that i was heavily into jay dyer jay dire almost made me become orthodox and stuff right and then um watching uh old taylor marshall videos and like about the history of the church and actually learning i actually learned more about like islam through him and stuff like that too so he had a lot of great early content um and i think ultimately what really just triggered me to become catholic was uh the pope honestly and uh just realizing that that that unity in that monarchical hierarchy of order and obedience that the orthodox church doesn't have plus not to mention i learned about the council of florence vatican catholic um which is a say to be conscious but it's funny because i got into catholicism because of a protestant lee strobel uh a crypto seed taylor marshall and another seed of vatican catholic or whatever and i don't like any of them not like i'm totally against their beliefs fundamentally but they're they did guide me towards catholicism so um yeah so then uh with the council of florence and how that they agreed to unify and then all of a sudden because uh the the muslims and their countries and the people were like no we we would rather wear muslim turbans than papal tiaras and stuff and the fact that they really didn't evangelize the world and the fact that they're just not one they're what is it uh holy catholic um an apostolic but they're not one so they're at least missing one of the fundamentals that are the marks of the true church right so um i decided that catholicism was the true faith and i wanted to just learn as much as i can about it and i got obsessed with it and what was really struggling or really um hurting me at the time i guess is i still had like these taylor marshall crypto seed viewpoints about vatican 2 about the pope and stuff about things being heretical in councils and i like couldn't reconcile my brain around this like how could something be um permitted by the holy spirit promulgated by the holy spirit i should say and have error or be um you know uh heretical and uh i found um reason in theology hosted by michael lofton and he had like a whole playlist on vatican ii and michael lofton has been like probably the single most influential person in like getting me away from that say to be contest uh mindset amazing man amazing if you if you get familiar with my podcast and my content you'll see the struggle i have against the rad trads and the set of ecantis it's a big big big big part of my uh little uh mission or evangelization or whatever it is that i do how do i send you a little link here in my uh google meet how do i do that is there a chat in the google me you can send it on telegram if you want oh yeah okay uh i found out how to do it here maybe i'll do it on telegram oh there we go i'll do it on telegram i want you to look at this and tell me if you've ever seen it before okay so [Music] very interesting might be right up your alley i was very excited to discover this guy larry chap um a manifesto of the new traditionalism yeah baby you don't need to read the whole thing basically uh it's sort of like taking that everything you love about the rad trads and the the traditionalists and the said of a cantus everything you love rightfully love about them and then realizing that vatican ii is a real council and the holy spirit is present at vatican ii it's a it's a holy council and so it's like the best of both worlds this is what i've been dreaming about since i became a catholic in 2009 i've been dreaming to have some sort of sanity with common sense and tradition and respect for the hierarchy and everything and it seems like this guy is barking up that tree so i'll have to look more deeply into i'm supposed to interview him at some point oh nice yeah i think the uh the whole we talk about this on our podcast all the time like obviously we know we have other problems with liberalism and you know the bishops in germany and all these people and stuff like that and it sucks but also the radtrads who might have good intentions um are still you know going towards error and basically um interpreting things in a borderline protestant-esque way uh where you know like the vatican ii while you could say that like you know since vatican ii there's become a crisis in the church and it's been horrible and things of that nature and it's due to people misinterpret misinterpreting vatican ii yeah yeah poor catechesis um uh purposely subversive uh clergymen and things of that nature but if you actually read the documents of vatican 2 and you actually read it in the correct way with the lens of tradition behind you there's nothing heretical or anything about it i love it i've read the documents of vatican 2 a couple of times all 16 documents i love it yes it's a bit vague yes you know you know there was compromise behind the scenes you know that we already know that but the the fact is the holy spirit was at work and there's so much beauty and truth and i've my faith has been improved by reading those documents um i think that's the most common thing is that most people that hate vatican 2 have never really read the documents they've just like read like i had a whole problem with like um the the part where it's like uh muslims worship the true god or something like that first of all it says that they profess to to uh to worship the true god doesn't say that they do so accurately or correctly and then if you read it in the context what it's basically saying is just that that they're also monotheists right that's basically the whole point of that they're basically they're monotheists and we could use that to try to convert them and try to bring them to the true faith it's trying to find like a common ground but rad trads interpret it as oh they're saying that muslims are worshiping their true god and they're fine doing what they're doing that's not what it's saying at all yeah well uh you know i like i said i'm sort of a de facto muslim for five minutes or whatever it was um never believed in muhammad as a being a true prophet of god but i just kind of like the simplicity of uh why why would i want the trinity but now i understand why i want the trinity i want the trinity because i want the incarnation i want the incarnation because i want that community i want that and i want that bridge between myself a finite creature and god the infinite creator so i you know it takes time to digest christianity it takes a lifetime it takes more than a lifetime it takes all of eternity that's what heaven will be is catechesis right like entering into the life of the trinity wow that's not boring a lot of people i used to say as an atheist heaven's boring and the good times are in hell you know sex drugs and rock roll turns out all the sex drugs and rock and roll is in heaven right i don't i don't know about sex drugs knocking hole but the the pleasure eternal pleasure of it yes i don't think those specific things are there but yeah yeah well i often say you know i often say like what do you what do you like i ask an atheist what do you enjoy in life i enjoy food well there'll be food in heaven well i mean because i can say it's a tentative statement i make like there'll be food in heaven or something better the the subtext is or something much better and it's probably something it's incomparable to anything we could even perceive on earth yeah but it's like when you're talking to a child like we talk to a child what do you like well i like my toy truck and i like eating chocolate okay well adulthood you can have lots of toys meaning like cars and houses and whatever and you can have lots of good treats like you just can't you can't expect the child to understand what it's like to walk in the shoes of an adult he'll get there right and it's not it's not evil to talk in um simplistic overly simplified terms to someone who hasn't yet arrived so when we're here on earth and we know that it's beyond our comprehension we can talk about oh i really want my pet dog to be there i think we should encourage people atheists especially to say well yeah your pet will be in heaven there's no reason for your pet not to be in heaven it can't merit hell that's for sure right so i like to err on the side of like paint a nice picture that yeah you're gonna have sex and drugs and rock and roll and all the things you love as a pagan atheist you're gonna have all of that and the subtext being again or something much much much more subtle and refined and dignified and better you know nothing evil nothing evil whatsoever in heaven but it'll be very very good yeah i think uh atheists for if they even really exist because i thought that i was and you know i think that it was really just i just wanted a justification to be a degenerate um but i think that if atheists really exist it takes more faith to believe that everything just happens spontaneously out of nothing for no reason whatsoever and nothing matters than it does to believe that there is a creator that who loves you absolutely absolutely there's no doubt about it so i've interviewed quite a f a few feisty atheist aaron rodney if you know aaron raw he's yeah he's a big big-time uh anti-christian he was raised mormon and uh i i called into the atheist experience to talk to matt dillahunty no i'm very i'm very bad with like names and like even people i know i don't even know their names so so uh my point is that they get very aggressive and it's entertaining but when you when you push them on any philosophical issue especially metaphysics they've got nothing they've got absolutely nothing and they have what they have is a bag of tricks of how to you know uh turn the conversation change the subject obfuscate hide in complexity that's that's a really good tactic like hide in the complexity well it's so complicated we don't know we don't have the answers yet but science you know one day we'll have all the answers which is such a cop-out though nothing can answer but science is working on it we gotta wait for science right now we don't know it's like all right well we do know it's god like yeah it's so lame it's so light are you interested in uh metaphysics and philosophy have you read anything a little bit i used to read like uh marcus aurelius and uh meditations and stuff like that and um but uh as far as like any secular i read a little bit of nietzsche's a little he's gay i read i tried reading um evola but and everybody like like dissident right-wing people like love evola i tried reading ebola and i read a decent amount of him but he just rambles on like never-ending sentences and it's just like exhausting to read him so i've never not really answered that you never heard of julie sabola okay he was like uh whatever i i want to say the 30s and 40s maybe no i stopped with the rene descartes that's as far as i went i went from the pre-socratics which i loved through socrates my absolute all-time favorite i think he's a christian i think he's a catholic i think he's in heaven and plato who i like and aristotle who i begrudgingly like because his church has defended his philosophy so stringently especially thomas aquinas but uh you know there are there are platonists and neoplatonists and this sort of thing we've got the whole uh franciscan school which is more on the platonus side you've got blessed john dunst one of my favorite philosophers and catholic saints uh he wasn't canonized because they found allegedly found scratch marks in inside of his coffin when they dug him up like that was a sign that maybe he was fighting his death or whatever i don't buy that i think he's a saint um you've got uh saint bonaventure who was also a franciscan um platoonist and you've got my two of my all-time favorites the first saint augustine of hippo and then the saint the second saint augustine which is saint anselm of canterbury so these are some i'm just name dropping because you're going to want to read some of these uh some of these my favorite uh writers some of the favorite things in terms of their philosophy and reading if you're into reading that sort of thing yeah and uh you know talking about like ancient greek philosophies and stuff like that if you read e michael jones he talks about how um whatever was good and whatever these pagan philosophers had correct was fulfilled with jesus christ and it was like it wasn't like a a contradictory thing once christianity came it was more like of a mutual fulfillment where that everything they were talking about was and that they couldn't explain fully was uh fulfilled in jesus christ where they were where i think it was aristotle always talking about the unmoved mover and things of that nature so it's very interesting yeah i don't know if you know uh saint justin murder but he talked about that all truth belongs to us christians that's what he said he was a convert from paganism and quite a another uh great thinker so uh we've got such a treasure it's such a treasure one lifetime is not enough so you know my right now i'm reading canon law and it's a big fat book and uh i discovered that it's illegal according to canon law it's illegal to not have a great in between the confessor and the priest in the confessional you have to have a confession booth with a grill oh really yeah so it's illegal so you we find so many things like here in montreal it's like the wild west and everyone does what they want to do we have the the the faithful intenting the host into the blood and that's like one of the worst crimes against the dignity of christ because it puts the dignity of christ at risk and this is a common practice in quebec if i go to any mass where they do that i just don't go back to that church i talk to the priest give him a little flyer that explains why it's wrong i just don't go back that's pretty basic you just have like a flyer of canon law literal uses just handing the priest and stuff like that yeah i i talked about it uh recently i went to when i was in florida um i i was trying to find a mess and i couldn't find any latin mass so i went to uh the closest catholic church i could find and it was the most insane thing i've ever seen in my life like they had giant um big screen two big screens on like above there they had two priests come up before the mess or actually like during the mass they had like 20 minutes of announcements then after the first uh the first uh scripture reading they gave it a word out to some guy and like this couple or whatever and i was like what is going on they had the lyrics of the psalms like playing like karaoke with a full band too yeah it was it was insane right and then they had like eight eucharistic ministers and i'm pretty sure they didn't even hold up the host correctly it was it was like protestants doing an snl skit of how they thought catholics were or something it was so bad oh oh i can tell you stories make your toes curl man like i mean i've met priests i talked to priests who don't believe in the real presence i've met priests who have said to me straight up there is no difference between the catholic mass and the protestant uh celebration what is going on that's insane they should be excommunicated then they're not think they are excommunicated like uh well i mean they exclude themselves by by saying heresy like that like you had a self excommunication but i do wish that there were more formal excommunications and anatomizations because i think the general public needs to see what is and isn't okay because it's just like the wild west everywhere i've been to masses here in montreal where i've told the story before my listeners get sick of hearing it but you go you go into this big blue church it's got signs outside like peace and love and you know all the different religious symbols for all the different religions or whatever this is a catholic church yeah and then you go inside and the first thing you see the buffet table chips everything and they've got all the men are at the back munching before mass munching away on the the sandwiches and the this and that and then uh i don't remember uh i don't know if i'm remembering this correctly but um i think that the the matter was uh not correct that they used for the if i'm not mistaken like it's supposed to be you know wheat bread and grape wine and i i don't i don't want to commit to this it may be a false memory but it seems to me there was something fishy about what they did i know i grew up in a protestant church where they use grape juice that's strictly forbidden you know it has to be the wine of grapes and sort of thing but you know i don't want to be policing i just don't go back i just don't go back it's like i wish them well i pray for them and it's a gateway drug into catholicism like this weird whatever this religion is it's a gateway to catholicism because those who you know pick up a book or that you know stumble upon a good priest and a good church they'd be like hey this is cool like you know virtue availing yourself in a worthy manner of the sacraments wow like this is this is cool is this catholicism and then they can they can learn about the real catholicism by being in this phony sort of and i'm not trying to put anyone down here but it's just it is a joke i mean we've seen on youtube the the clown priests and people the priests on segways and stuff but uh you know it's a big white pill for me you know what white pill means right yeah you're happy but like hopefulness like yeah all right so it's not what what gives me hope um is that uh is that so like despite how bad everything is and all the crisis going on in the church and stuff like that it's like um people like me and you and uh pine sap and all these people all these people that are converting to catholicism now because they're searching for the truth and they're certain and they see how decadent the world is and they find catholicism those types of people that are going to start going into seminary and start becoming priests and stuff like that i really do feel like there's going to be this gigantic reinvigoration of bringing the faith back to its core principles and you know maybe not anytime soon but eventually just like becoming way more strict and way more you know uh tingent on like sticking to the proper formulas of everything you know yeah and like i think it's gonna like be a big evangelion type thing and people are gonna be way more traditional i i don't know if i sent it to you but i will send it to you if i haven't already this little link to one of my favorite uh videos that i did talking it's just audio only but i talk about sort of a cantism it's called the pros and cons of said of cantism and it just it it illustrates how the set of acanthus are no different from any other uh rebellious heretical or schismatic group their protestants would actually with extra steps they're no different like i just go through all like a variety of heresies for each of the councils and i should show how it's always the same thing like there's always you know there's it's always in turmoil the church is always at the center of controversy and there are always you know weeds among the wheat and wolves in sheep's clothing and nothing has changed we like to think that the good old days like this is what the radtrads do they said they just glorify the good old days it's just so easy you know it's like looking at the beautiful women in the movies and going oh i wish my wife were like that well your wife's better sorry your wife's better than that like look at madonna look at her today like which would you rather trade you're going to trade your wife from madonna i don't think so so forget about the fantasy that hollywood and these women don't think madonna's ferdile anymore well i mean it's just sickening you know it's just sickening the the uh perversion of the woman of the of sex of intimacy of the family it's like it's a big big deal and abortion's a big part of that obviously and we we have so much to talk about with roe v wade and all that i don't really want to get too deeply into that because uh but i did want to mention uh one thing about um pope francis i am i have to admit that i've been a huge defender of pope francis and uh you know i know i know he's uh progressive or on the left or whatever it seems like that i don't know but i like him i think he's a sweet guy and i think he's he's a holy guy i don't agree with him on everything though and i've been very disappointed with uh like i'm a young earth creationist so i'm disappointed that he seems no let's go he believes he seems to believe in that jesus and mary evolved from apes like i just find that uh absurd and i'm also pissed off that excuse my language i'm annoyed that um he's pushing the backs and pushing the whole covered religion i think uh we just it's a little one it's a little bit of a misinterpretation i will say that he does have some big ambiguous statements and uh that you know he definitely could be doing more but i think that he uh he hasn't said anything remotely heretical he hasn't uh done anything bad like people try to claim that he did as far as the vac stuff that the cdf released uh a document i'm clarifying what he meant by that he meant that if there is something uh that is good for the general public that you should feel a moral obligation to do that but the cdf document also clarified that any type of vaccine needs to be done on your own free will and that you can't be forced to do that so people just like skim over that i'm not saying you do that on purpose whatever i thought the same thing too um but you have to also realize that in the history of all the papacy no pope has ever been in the spotlight as much has had so much scrutiny and agendas being pushed on every single little statement that he says being reported by different reporters mistranslated all that stuff that's why they talk about the piety of medieval peasants who didn't even know the pope's name and just went to church and listened to their priests and stuff like that so you have to you know not really put so much interpretation or like uh too much effort trying to understand what the pope is doing or saying or whatever as long as he's not changing dogma or doctrine or whatever yes we can criticize things that he's not doing or his ambiguity and stuff like that but we really do have to defend the pope and we have to respect his seat as the holy father yeah and we got to pray for him because he's 85 years old he has a really bad torn leg he's barely able to walk everybody should be praying for pope francis every night i pray from every day i pray for him every day and i'm doing the first five saturday's devotion now like i've been trying to do it for years since my conversion i've tried i've started so many times and never completed it now i'm just like powering through i'm gonna get it done but um the whole uh evolution uh versus creationism can you talk about your productive on that yeah evolution's fake and gay uh we did not evolve from apes um uh god created adam and eve we're all from them um yeah i'm also i don't know you're a young earth creation so what you believe that the earth was created less than ten thousand years ago the whole universe yeah less than ten thousand the whole universe less than ten thousand years epic i go i go a step farther further i don't believe in space i'm a flat earther um and yeah and uh totally denied basically well uh i that i don't i can't confirm or deny i don't i don't claim to know how it works or anything like that but it's definitely not the dimensions they tell us it is it's not a spinning it's not a spinning globe um you know i can't i can't debate on the issue because i don't know the specifics or whatever but like i don't believe that we're a spinning globe going 666 000 miles through the universe or whatever so yeah cool i'm uh total anti-science cuck no lab coat stuff so yeah that's my opinion i uh i'm not quite there on the flat earth i don't think i can get there maybe i could work you'll come i'll show you i'll show you the light i'll take you on this journey i worked at the canadian space agency i've met astronauts including one of the first female astronaut canadians you met assad agents hired to sigh up you into it could be their globe propaganda it could be one friend of mine from here in montreal he's a stand-up comedian he claims to have started the whole flutter thing as a joke matthew matthew powerland matthew uh boylan i don't know if you remember well the whole flat earth thing is so interesting to me because they were they they were teaching flat earth as an acceptable belief system up until like 1958 in certain american high schools that people don't know about and um you know it really just became like a dogma once the space race started to come in where people like like oh you believe that the earth isn't round uh you're [__] you know and then that's basically what they do and it's so funny because i talked about this on my last podcast too it's like you talk to these right-wing people who believe in all these different types of conspiracy theories and psyops and you know the zionist new world order and they're trying to make a nation of submissive slaves and eliminate all races and blah blah blah and stuff like that and then you're like you know all the people that run the institutions and media and academia and science you know i think they might be like maybe lying about how the universe works and they're like what no they would never do that you know so it's just ridiculous to me and that's why i never mentioned it for so long because i knew it was such an alienating alienating subject or whatever now i just don't care i just say what i what i believe hey well yeah you just uh we can't be people pleasers and uh jesus said you have to hate your mother your brother your sister your very self my chat is blowing up on me now for for the flat earth stuff it's great sorry i'll take care of them later yeah i mean i don't know i'm open the thing is i'm very open uh it's the only reason it would be interesting to me is just to see that extra level of deception how satan's running this world i already know satan's running in the world right he's the prince of this world um you know we can see the mask is coming off with all this transgender nonsense with all the abortion and just the blatant disregard for uh you know uh the most fundamental truths like that humans have a human nature you know or that women are women or that men are men or that you know children shouldn't be taught that and catch this now children are being taught in canada that abstinence sexual abstinence listen carefully sexual abstinence is oral anal masturbation of various sorts these are called sexual mormon soaking and these are what mormon soaking that i don't know what that is you don't want to know look it up after the stream yeah it's gross it's like tub girl someone told me to watch tough girl am i really about to explain what mormon soaking is okay so mormon soaking it i don't know apparently it's a myth if you if you ask mormons about this they get like really offended and they say it's not real but there was like a viral tick tock like two years ago or something where uh somebody was talking about mormon soaking and what it is is that the guy goes into the girl but he's not allowed to make an emotion so he has his friend like like bounce on the bed to stimulate to stimulate the motion and it's like a loophole because he's not the one doing it so that's how they get away with not having sex what's the soaking part what why is that called soaking sugar because you're not moving i guess you're just soaking oh okay yeah all right anyway so nevermind go on what was i talking about before this night yeah oh so uh children are being taught that anal oral and something are considered absolutely just totally it's totally ridiculous the the abuse of children uh with all the sexual stuff it's like this is fourth grade right so what is that eight nine year olds ten years i don't know what fourth grade is but uh yeah it's too young and it's there's no age for that i mean there's i'm an adult i don't hear that stuff yeah right like we need there's no problem in our society that can't be fixed by a good catholic education that's all about education i say catholicism is the cure for all problems in the world the answer to every legitimacy is jesus christ that's the answer and the catholic church is what it is jesus christ right saint paul says uh christ and his church are one flesh it's a deep mystery yeah and with all this like transgender stuff and everything people like normicon republicans are always talking about the slippery slope and it started with gay marriage and now they want and then they want to bake your cakes and now they're transgender and now they're teaching kids about sex it's like yeah the slippery slope is real but that's not where the slippery slope started the slippery slope started when we started tolerating the disobedience to god when we started allowing for condoms and uh for accepting male promiscuity and stuff like that the protestant reformation thinking that you can interpret scripture the way you want that everything is a result of that you could argue that it's ultimately a result of uh of adam and eve disobeying god you know everything that is immoral once you allow the acceptance of anything immoral that opens pandora's box to allow everything that's immoral i just had a little mini revelation about flat earth why it might be attractive to me okay because one of my uh friends and guests is um owen uh what's his name hugh owen from the colby center you should check that out if you don't know it already it's a catholic creationist website and uh he's a geocentrist too and a couple of my friends at gs centrists online friends i don't have any real friends for catholic actually nice real friends in real life but uh this whole geocentrism thing you know i believe that the earth is the center of the universe in every meaningful way because the eucharist is here it's not being consecrated anywhere else in the universe as far as i know and i think there's a good philosophical argument that there's no other human life on any other planet because if there is then christ would have died for them and they need to have access to the sacraments too so um i believe the earth is the center in the in every way that matters is it the geo geometric center well it's hard for me to i studied physics you know i worked at the space agency and i you know it's hard for me to digest the fact that you know to suddenly believe that the earth is at the center of the geometrical center but whatever it's possible i mean anything's possible but your flat earth thing you know it the the reason i like being a young earth creationist because it gives me proximity to adam and eve gives me proximity to the fall it gives me uh less of a laissez-faire attitude about my own sin right because if if we were here for millions of years i don't know what they say about the humanity how old humanity is the evolutionists but i think it's millions of years whatever caveman and all that nonsense um prehistory which is a total knife but um with the flat earth you would also have a proximity to god into heaven and everything uh it brings god up close and personal so i am attracted to that i'm just having a hard time we can discuss this at another time and uh over the years he can convince me yeah but i want you to talk about that proximity of being close in time to the garden of eden and the flatter thing where you have more proximity to the heavens to god and i do actually believe that hell is under the earth like at the center of the earth i don't know if that's a if that's a catholic belief or it's just sort of uh my punch yeah well i mean the whole flat earth thing started like years before i was even catholic or anything like that um and i didn't really believe it you know my actually it was funny because i was talking to my friend and i didn't even know he was a flat earther and um we were talking about how like the the government puts out conspiracy theories i think we were talking about like hugh anderson or something like that and we were like how the government will fund conspiracies to like um you know delegitimize actual conspiracy theories or whatever and i mentioned i was like kind of like how they put out the whole flat earth thing or whatever and he was like no no the earth is flat i was like i was like okay yeah whatever and he then he sent me like a bunch of documentaries and stuff like that and i just like watched it for i spent like two months just watching flat earth stuff and like trying to then i would watch like people trying to debunk it and stuff like that and um you know i mean it's not something that i really care about like obviously if if the church dogmatizes that the earth is round i'll be like okay i gotta submit to that it's the authority of the church whatever but they haven't yet so anybody who believes there at this round is dumb um as of right now but um yeah and people are like oh well why would they lie about it being around um because it's a trillion dollar industry if they can control what we believe about the universe and how the earth works they control everything they can control what we think about uh you know climate change they can push nihilism that's what the whole thing is so that we're just like this accident this vast universe and nothing matters we're not the center of anything they want to push nihilism and meaningless meaninglessness whatever i just said and act like life has no real purpose and that you could do whatever you want nothing matters that's what they want they want you to be demoralized and think that your life has no purpose so i think it's it's perfect it's perfectly reasonable of why they would do it um and second of all i think it just makes the most sense when they talk about the dimensions eric dubai had this video where he was going over exactly what nasa claims the dimensions of the earth are and he does like a bunch of experiments showing well if they were then you wouldn't be able to see this however many miles away so let's say like i don't know the total the actual mathematics stuff or whatever but if they say like okay for every 10 000 feet there's a four foot drop off so if something is a hundred thousand feet away then you're going to have this much drop off and you're not going to be able to see a building this tall because it's going to be over the curvature and then they show it and you can see it perfectly with these new zoom in uh python whatever it's all nikon p9 lenses that they have where they're literally zooming in miles away for things that they're saying oh well actually when a ship goes over the horizon it's because they're going over the curvature but then you zoom in and you see the uh the boat in full view you know so it was just like okay well if they're lying about the dimensions what else are they lying about and it just to me flat earth makes the most sense i really don't care if people agree with me or not but that's what i just think it is and i think it makes sense once i got into catholicism it makes sense from like that perspective where god would create you know create us and that that's it we are the center of the universe you know and plus it had there's a bunch of scripture that you know uh correlates with flat earth with uh the firmament and uh talking about the earth being built on pillars and things like that so yeah i'm excited to find out um but uh you know i i i wonder why don't we figure out some sort of way to check out antarctica and there's a lot of mystery around antarctica and that sort of thing like it's not that yeah the antarctic antarctic treaty was like a bunch of nations coming together and agreeing that they wouldn't allow uh civilians to go past a certain point or something like that yeah and all these nations were like at war at the time and uh so like why would they make any type of deal so i mean like like i said i'm i'm dumb like when it comes to like going into specifics and names and dates and stuff like that i wish pine sap my my co-host because he's like a catholic rain man he's like a robot he knows he knows like every specific name and d and stuff like that i want to like just like feed him like a a dvd of like uh or like a usb thing put it in the back of his head of like all flat earth stuff just so that he could help me in like flat earth debates is he not a flat earther yet he's anti-evolution i don't think i've won him over on the flat earth thing he doesn't really care too much like i don't care really i just know from like what i looked up years ago but like um he's just all about catholicism in the church but he like has documents memorized it's insane you got when you talk to i think you're gonna talk to him friday right yeah he's you could like ask him anything he's like it's insane he's literally rain man he's like a savannah i'm pretty sure he's definitely on like the spectrum but he's already cool when i was on your uh telegram he was he was very quick to respond to me i said hey how can i get in touch with this guy he's like i'll set you up so uh he said he programmed an alarm for notifications in his head that even when he's sleeping he can just go like this and write a message in his head he seems like a sharp guy but you know uh this whole covet fiasco uh did you get the job or no absolutely not okay so um you know i just want to talk about the psychology of what's it called mass hypnosis or just uh people going along to get along and making little compromises like you've probably seen that conspiracy theory video it's just text that says it's just two weeks it's just a mask it's just social just it's just this it's just that it's just that it just goes on and on and on and on and it's like you know jesus talks about swallowing a camel and then filtering out the little gnats it's like this is what we do psychologically we humans we are able to believe a lot of nonsense a lot of inconsistent contradictory bs it's part of our fallen nature i guess but um you know you have to wonder like i mean i see in my circle of friends not that i have a lot of friends but in my circle of acquaintances or loose friends or good friends i have a couple of good friends but uh it's always a surprise like hey this one saw through the bs and this pack of other ones didn't right it doesn't matter what you say to them they just you will not see it so can you just talk a little bit about the psychology of our fallen human nature from your perspective what have you seen among your crowd like people at work people at school people in your extended family what have you seen i think with the whole jab thing it's mainly a thing of like wanting to just fit in and just not caring like oh everybody else is doing it so i just want to do it i don't want to be that outcast or whatever and you could have it on the other side too where maybe people don't really care about the jet but all their friends are anti-vac so they're just like well i'm not anti-backs either i think it works fundamentally um both ways i guess but the whole thing for me is like i was never going to get it i was prepared to lose my job luckily i got a religious exemption for it um but i know some people that got fired i know somebody that was uh working for uh this other company and he was working there for i think 18 years he had two more years before he retired with a pension they wanted him to get the uh the vaccine he said no left his job lost his pension you know i mean i'm sure he'll get like a part of it but he would have got way more if he stayed just for two more years um so i i admire that i admire not doing that um but uh yeah the whole thing that they're telling i i literally used to like because with the whole covert thing i was listening to it since um december or january 2020 maybe because i was on 4chan and looking at uh all the polled threads um i don't know if you know what that is but 4chan is like an image board poll is politically in uh incorrect and they whatever used to be kind of like uh like uh edgy politics and stuff like that now it's filled with like [__] and stuff whatever so uh they used to post like um uh pictures and videos from china of all these people convulsing and like all these like yeah dropping dead convulsing on the streets and stuff like that and then um they were saying how it's gonna come to america in two weeks and uh all these people are gonna die right and i was like oh yes end of the world this is awesome end times let's do this or whatever right so i was like all stoked that like okay this is gonna be the apocalypse right i finally get to die and i'm kidding and um so uh so then it comes to uh america right and i'm telling like all my friends and stuff and i'm like oh this is gonna be serious blah blah blah and then like it just did not it was not nothing was adding up it wasn't it just didn't make any sense and i like yeah and i was like okay this is just not i think i think this whole thing is fake now you know and like then everything they were saying just didn't make sense about like who could get it who's most affected all the stuff and nothing was adding up and i was like i don't know what it is i mean maybe there is something because my grandma died from it my wife's grandfather died from it my dad almost died from it um but what they're saying about how it affects people and like um how deadly it is just doesn't make any sense because my uh my grandfather was like 76 years old right he was uh he was an alcoholic when he was in his 30s or something like that so he had like cirrhosis of the liver he had alzheimer's he had diabetes he smoked for 20 years he was a completely unhealthy man and like the prime example of somebody who should get coveted and immediately die he got coveted when like it first came out recovered in two weeks my co-worker's mom was in her late 40s got it and died like immediately so i was like what like what is going on it just doesn't make any sense and then they want to rush this vaccine and stuff like that i don't believe in regular vaccines so i'm not going to touch a new experimental vaccine for a uh sickness that they can't even like get a straight answer of what it is and i think it's all about control it's all about trying to you know manipulate the populace into doing and seeing what they can get away with seeing how far they can go and push and stuff like that and honestly i'm surprised that it kind of just like faded off now like you barely hear anything about it you know it's just like now they moved on to the next thing now it's the russia war and now it's going to be a white supremacist mass shootings and it's the summer of psyops so it's just like they just move on from one thing to the other and i just try to block everything out now but i will never get vaccinated and i don't care what i have to lose is the aborted fetal matter the heck human embryo kidney cells and all that is that an issue for you how big an issue is that for you i originally was an issue until i kind of looked at what the catholic church stance is for it and uh the catholic church stance is that it's uh like the separate the degrees of separation that you are not morally culpable for uh the abortion stuff and it's not really um you're not like shooting aborted fetal cells into you which is what i thought it was it's that the original vaccine was tested on an aborted fetus from like 1973 or something like that but i think that if that could deter people then they should either i don't want anything that came from abortion you know but also to play devil's advocate tylenol and a bunch of other medications are the same same testing concept that these vaccines go through with the aborted fetal issues i don't know that but the little candies that you like the zingy flavor of they were they were developed using uh yeah absolute fetal cells so you can't really escape it that's it's not the number one uh thing for me the number one thing for me is that i have free will and that i will not be coerced into giving free consent because guess what if i'm coerced into giving free consent it's no longer free consent and i will not be coerced into giving informed consent without being informed because guess what if i'm not informed it's not informed consent this is not rocket science people you see the prime minister or the whoever it was the premier whoever it was in australia a year or whatever it was ago who was asked a question what about the person who died from the vaccine oh well uh you make your own medical decisions talk it over with your doctor it's on you it's your responsibility you're responsible for the medical choices you make and the choices you make and the risks you take with experimental uh like say experimental gene therapy but that's basically what it is he's like oh no no that's your it's your choice get informed make a free choice and it's on you 100 on you okay well thank you very much for clarifying that right so i think a lot of people didn't realize that they're part of uh like my niece is studying virology or whatever it is or molecular biology or something she had no idea that it was in clinical trial phase like phase two phase three whatever whatever as they've been rolling out slowly she had no idea she thought it was like a legit thing and it's like you know not to mention the pcr and all that just it's just flim flam it's all flim flam and it's all been it's all been a sham right from the beginning and since since when tell me this since when did the left trust the government since when like when did that happen was it like uh 10 years ago 20 years ago like when did that shift take place because it used to be anti-establishment left am i wrong like i mean i'm not a big political guy yeah you look at rage against the machine they were the band that was all about screw the system and now they're doing like vaccine ads or whatever and it's just it's completely not i talk about this with like with uh eminem and stuff like that eminem was like the counter culture guy or whatever and but but you got to realize like it was always liberalism it was just two different sides of liberalism but now all of these old school type liberals are just adapting to what the new school type of liberal is because the liberal is basically one now they have control over free speech they have control over the institutions and stuff like that so now it went from eminem was saying [__] and everything and everybody was so like upset or whatever and now he's making songs where it's like what if i was gay and it's

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3, 2, 1, and we're live I'm here with Spitz Zoho pronounce that. Right? All right. There we go. All. Right. Expect this, or how do you pronounce your. Aspects though? Spec. So nice to see you. Nice to hear your voice. Nice to see you. Too. Thanks for coming on brother. And. So. As I usually do with new guests that I don't know, maybe it's good to give a little introduction in your own words, your faith journey, where you come from philosophically, religiously, that sort of stuff. If you don't mind. Sure. Well, I was born, I was baptized Catholic, but I was raised very religiously. My grandparents on my father's side were super devout Catholics, very into activism in the pro-life scene. My mom's father was very religious, but my parents were not very religious. And I grew up not like without a belief in God, but it just wasn't front and center in my life at all. I did go to a Lutheran school for like six years from preschool to like third grade, which was really weird. Cause nobody in my family is Lutheran at all. And like I learned the general topics about the Bible and about Christ and things like that. But it was obviously from a Lutheran perspective. And then, you know, as I got older, I kind of drifted away from believing in God at all. And by the time I got into high school, I kind of just said like, I don't believe in God. And around that time I started getting into like the Reddit scene and there was our atheism was very popular back then. And I basically became like a militant atheist, like super cringe, loved Richard Dawkins and stuff. And I became like very militant and abrasive about it to the point where I would go out of my way to start debates with people who had faith. And I would like try to disprove their, their faith in God and stuff. And I was like that for like a good like seven years or so. And by the way, anybody in my chat, just let me know how my what's it called. My, my mic sounds if it's, if it's all right. Dalton raid. Okay. Sorry. Cause I'm using a new mic, but anyway, so I, I started, I was really super militantly atheist. And then I guess like through a series of events, cause I had like a problem with drugs when I was a teenager and stuff. And you know, I was very promiscuous and thinking about it now I was actually just talking to this about this with pine SAP. Recently I started, I started realizing that my atheism was really just out of convenience and it was just a justification to do whatever made me feel good because if there is no God and there is no meaning to life or anything like that, then you know, whatever I can just do whatever feels good. And there's no consequences for any type of sin. There's no real objective morality. And I lived that way for a really long time. Even when I got off drugs, I was still an atheist. So I was still doing degenerate stuff without care about any type of consequences. And then through a series of events, it was basically like getting into politics with Trump and then getting further into dissident right-wing politics and stuff. And then parallel to that. At the same time, I also went through a couple of personal tragedies finding one of my good family, friends, dead and stuff like that. And it kind of made me like question I'm like, is this really all there? Is, is there really nothing else? And I guess you could say that sparked something like maybe there is a higher power and I'm like, I basically, and also by this time I was already like out of like being a militant atheist. Cause I realized that that our atheism scene was basically just a political facade using atheism as like a starting point to push political agendas such as like abortion and gay rights and stuff like that. And I started like questioning like, wait, why are we supposed to be disproven God, but all we're talking about is gay rights. And the only people that you're talking bad about are Christians, you never attacking Muslims or Jews or anything like that. So it kind of seemed like it was more of an agenda was really about like the conviction of not believing in God. Right? So then after like a couple of tragedies and going through a political stuff, I started looking into like the history of Europe and stuff. And I kept hearing everybody say like, oh, well Europe was so successful because it was like a racial unity and stuff like that or whatever. And when I started looking into it, the reason that Europe didn't like succumb to like Muslim hordes and everything like that, the real unity was through the Christian faith, right. Was through the Catholic church, uniting them to fight, fight that. And so I started to really appreciate Christianity and you know, I didn't really believe in the story of Christ, but I believed that it was obviously very important and I guess I considered myself culturally Christian, if that makes sense. And I don't know, it was just like a gradual process. Like I say that basically my politics led me to my faith and then my faith transformed by politics basically. And now my faith just guides my politics, but I guess it got to a point where as I was looking into more religions and seeing like, well, I kind of believe that there's a higher power. And if there is a higher power, then there has to be a correct way to, to worship him and to praise him. He had to like leave us clues, you know? So I started doing research into religion or whatever, and Christian who really actually like convinced me of the divinity of Jesus Christ was Lee Strobel, who is a Protestant, but he had this great lecture called the case for Christ. And he also has a book and it's a movie and stuff like that. But I watched this lecture, it's like a 45 minute lecture. And what he does is basically go over the secular evidence of the resurrection for Christ. And that basically like just struck a chord with me. And I was like, I was like, how can you, how can anybody disprove this? Right? And like, then you look at like other secular sources and even in the, the Jews and the Talmud who would have like the biggest excuse, not to believe in the resurrection of Christ, you know, they'll try to make excuses for it, but they don't deny that the tomb was empty and stuff. And that's basically what I went. Okay. I think Christ is, is real. I think he was the son of God. And then, you know, I was like dabbling with it. I was basically just like non-denominational or whatever. And then I guess I had like a religious experience, which sounds a little gay, but it's true. I was, and it was actually Christmas, 2018 when I found, found out that my wife was pregnant with my first daughter. And I remember that we told our whole family, everybody was all happy and stuff like that. And you know, my wife was in the shower and I was sitting on the couch and I was just like thinking about my life and thinking about where I came from and how I did such horrible things. And like, I'm just looking around like at all these like blessings that I have in my life that I did not do anything to deserve, you know, that like I like of my own will. I got none of this stuff, you know? And I just like started crying like the first tears of joy that I ever cried in my life and started thanking God. And that like made me really want to get serious about my faith and find out what the truth was. And from there it was just a journey and I started studying and landed on Catholicism and it basically changed my whole entire worldview. Talk us through your very first session in the confession booth, please. The very, the very first let's see. So it was. Don't tell me, you don't remember. I remember it was, it was very, I was very awkward. So it was during the very beginning of COVID. So I was in RCAA with my wife. We both were getting confirmed at the same time and we had to do our first confession, I think before, if I'm remembering this correctly, we have to do our first confession before getting confirmed the next day, I believe. And so they didn't have regular like confessional boots. It was like, you're just literally sitting across from the priest. So I had to like tell him like face to face and it was like weird. Cause I had to, like, I was, I was already married to my wife. Right. But we were married civilly, so we weren't married in the church yet. So I had to like convey confess to premarital sex with my wife, even though I was like married to her. Right. And I was like, like, this is so awkward. And then he was like asking me like specifics when I was like, like confessing to him. Right. I was like, oh yeah, I did drugs. And he was like, oh, what kind of drugs? Or how many, how many times? And I was like, I don't know. And then he was like, oh, did you have sex with any other girls? And I was like, yeah. And he was like, how many girls? I was like, I don't know. Like it was so awkward. I actually, honestly don't even know, but, but it's bad. And I disavowed that I am a non-Intel pro in cell. I think everybody should remain celibate until they're married. I wish I did. I was actually talking to somebody recently. Like I would give anything to like erase all the degenerate stuff that I did my best. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. So what's the best experience you've ever had confessing your sins? Was that the best one? Did you get a lot off your chest or did it take you a couple of tries? Like for me I converted 2009. My first confession was horrible. I didn't do a good job with it and I had to sort of practice to get good at it. And I've made a couple, I've made like three or four general confessions since then. And I've had a couple of very fantastic experiences, especially when I went in knowing that I'm in the state of mortal sin and that I'm going to hell, like I am going to hell unless I get sacramental confession. So had a lot of, from low to high walk in feeling low walkout, feeling high. Can you just sort of talk about that experience from your own perspective? The, the experience of one of [inaudible]. When you come out of the. Company. Okay. So yeah, every time I go to confession for me, it's like a whole new world is opened up. Like, I feel like it's, it's, it's indescribable, right? Like every time I go to confession, but I will say that I am one of the things I suffer with very much is a scrupulosity. Right. So bad. Like it's insane, like to the point where if I'm not sure that I'm in mortal sin, which I've, I've listened to a, they have this great homily on a census fidelity, which definitely helped me a lot. Just look up census fidelity, scrupulosity. And it basically like if I, I don't know, I know that I sinned, but if, I don't know if I'm in mortal sin, like I'll beat myself up over that. And then to the point where I won't receive the Eucharist until I go to confession next. Right. And I was like going crazy in my head about this, like all the time, you know? But another thing I struggled with, which I struggled with, which I think is even worse is that if I commit, if I commit one mortal sin, right. My brain, or I guess you could say, Satan will convince me like, oh, well you can do other stuff too now because you're already in mortal sin. So you might as well just go crazy until you go to confession again. And that's the, I struggle with that so bad. But once I go to confession, I come out, it's like, I never want to sin again. I'm going to just dedicate my entire life to Jesus Christ or whatever. I feel like a totally new person. And, but then of course we always end up sitting, listening, cause it's in our, is on our nature. How old are you now? I'm 29, 29. I was 39 when I converted. And I mean, I'm not a young with raging hormones, but I still have the temptation for sexual sin, you know, less, less than, you know, sitting just with, with my eyeballs, looking at sexy women on the street, on the billboards, on TV and movies everywhere. Like it's just, you can't avoid it, not to mention the internet, but you know, I do a pretty good job avoiding porn on the internet since my conversion, but have fallen a couple of times. But you know, that, that idea that, you know, oh, well I've already, I'm already dirty. I may as well just roll around in the muck and eat my own vomit. Like, I mean, it's, there's a good antidote to that way of thinking. And it's a really scary antidote already in Saint Alphonsus Lou glory. He talks about the fact that we don't know how many times God is going to give us that grace to repent and to have sorrow for sin and to, you know, to have that contrition, like it's a God given thing. So once we realize it's a God given thing and that we have a certain number of graces that will be doled out to us. And then after that, once, you know, we've hardened, our hurt sufficiently just by abusing the graces of God, then we don't get any more grace. And we're just hardened in our sin and a you're damned. Right? So that feeling you have of repentance is a real gift. And it's not a gift that you can bank on. You can't bank on it. You can't take it for granted. That's the sin of presumption. So, you know, I understand perfectly well that feeling I've done it myself where you think, well, what the heck? You know, I may as well just keep indulging, but I was really moved by Saint Alphonsus Liguori, Dino him. No, never heard of them. You can read his stuff. His work on death preparation for death is amazing. All of this stuff is amazing. The glories of Mary, when you listen back, if you listen back to this or taking notes, the glories of Mary, you got to read the glories of Mary, are you a big fan of Mary? Obviously. Of course I love her. I. Had a bit of a mystical vision before my confirmation, cause I was baptized a validly, helix, Libra, validly, and I Protestant church growing up and a three months old. So that was a real disappointment to discover that because I want it to be baptized so I could have all the consequences of my sins wiped out, along with my, you know, giving forgiveness. And then I get the, the temporal punishment due to sin will be wiped out too if I got the baptism, but I wasn't able to have that. I just had the confirmation, but I was choosing a confirmation name and I really love Saint Augustine. And I was going to choose that. And then just a night or two before my confirmation, I had a dream or a vision, whatever you want to call it. I don't know if it was mystical or just a dream, but it was Mary. And she told me you're going to take the name Mary and not the name Augustine. So I'm David, Mary, Andrew Ross. So St. Mary is your, your confirmation Saint. Yeah. Nice. My confirmation Saint is St. Louis the ninth who was king. And I think the 1400 or 12 hundreds I think of France. And the reason I picked him actually is a kind of a silly meme reason. But cause I saw a quote on a meme from him that said the best way to deal with a blasphemer is to stick your sword. As far as you can in his bowels or something. I was like, oh, okay, that's a base quote. So I'm just going to take him. But I was originally going to pick St. Simon of Trent, who was one, a boy who was murdered by Jews and a blood ritual Christian boy who was kidnapped by a Jewish radicals or whatever. And like they drank his blood allegedly. And I thought he was a Saint, but apparently he's not officially canonized. So I can't like use him as, as a confirmation Saint. So I picked St. Louis. And then after he was my confirmation Saint, I started looking into him and he was like the archetype of like the best type of monarchal figure you could want. And he's not a libertarian. No, definitely not. You can't, you can't be, you can't be lip and Catholic Catholicism is antilope tardiness. What, what are some of the big influences on your way into the church where you're like, I don't want to be kind of like, ah, shucks, I got to be Catholic now because I read this, that, and the other thing for me, it was the confessions of Saint Augustan that, that converted me to Christianity from generic monotheism. I was a default, a Muslim because I was sort of a generic monotheist did not want to be Christian because I hated Christianity my whole life. I was an atheistic Satanist at that point. And when I converted and I heard solipsist actually I'd fallen right into the deepest abyss of a philosophical inquiry. So I was studying philosophy as a hobby for like many years. But yeah, I did not want to be Christian. I hated Christianity. I hated Christ and his church, but I went to the mass with a monk because a monk walked into the store where I was working on a computer repair shop. I wanted to talk to him about God because I was a monotheist and he took me to his monastery and he took me to mass. And I said, I'm in, I don't believe in Christ. I don't believe in the Trinity. I don't believe in the incarnation. I don't believe in any of that stuff, but I am in because what I want you have, what I want is to worship God, I want to worship God. I have to worship God. Not only do I have to worship God, I have to worship God publicly. I knew that that was an impulse that I had. It was like a sort of a mystical sort of, sort of like this infused knowledge I had where public worship is necessary. I don't know if you felt that. For when I wanted to convert to Catholicism. Like what. When you, when you found God, did you want to worship come publicly? Or did you just want to say. So I wanted to know, I wanted to dedicate my whole life life to them. Like even, even my, even my, my content changed, my family thought I was insane for a little while, you know? Like, so, so what, I don't know, I think you asked like what really, like first started me towards Catholicism. So I wasn't, I wasn't much of a big reader until I got, until I got into Catholicism. I was more of like watching podcasts and watching videos on YouTube and stuff like that. And I'd hate to say it because I am not a fan of him anymore, but ironically, what originally, like convinced me of Catholicism was Taylor Marshall. Right. And so let me preface this. So when I, when I, after I had that like religious awakening or whatever, right. And I was like, okay, what's the real Christianity I got to figure out, like, what is the correct path or whatever. It legit took me like two hours to realize like, okay, Protestantism is just silly goose nonsense. That's not, that's not it. Right. And so then I was stuck between Catholicism and orthodoxy. So I was literally watching like hours of debates between Orthodox and Catholics and stuff like that. I was heavily into Jay Dyer, Jay Dyer almost made me become more Orthodox and stuff. Right. And then watching old Taylor Marshall videos and like about the history of the church and actually learning, I actually learned more about like Islam through him and stuff like that too. So we had a lot of great early contents and I think ultimately what really just triggered me to become Catholic was the Pope honestly. And just realizing that, that, that unity in that monarchal hierarchy of order and obedience that the Orthodox Jewish has that doesn't have, plus not to mention, I learned about the council of Florence, Vatican Catholic, which is a CDB contest split. It's funny because I got into Catholicism because of a Protestant Lee Strobel, a crypto seed, Taylor Marshall, and another seed of Vatican Catholic or whatever. And I don't like any of them that like, I'm totally against their beliefs fundamentally, but there they did guide me towards Catholicism. So yeah. So then with the council of Florence and how that they agreed to unify and then all of a sudden, because the, the Muslims and their countries and the people were like, no, we, we, we, we would rather wear a Muslim turbines than papel, tiaras and stuff. And the fact that they really didn't evangelize the world and the fact that they're just not one there, what is it? A holy Catholic, an Epistolic, but they're not one. So they're at least missing one of the fundamentals that are the marks of the true church. Right. So I decided that Catholicism was the true faith and I wanted to just learn as much as I can about it. And I got obsessed with it. And what was really struggling or really hurting me at the time, I guess, is I still had like these Taylor Marshall crypto seed viewpoints about Vatican too, about the Pope and stuff about things being heretical in counsels. And I like couldn't reconcile my brain around this. Like how could something be permitted by the holy spirit promulgated by the holy spirit, I should say, and have error or be, you know, heretical. And I found reasoning theology hosted by Michael Lofton. And he had like a whole playlist on Vatican too. And Michael Loftin has been like probably the single most influential person in like getting me away from that state of the contest mindset. Amazing man. Amazing. If you, if you get familiar with my podcast and my, my content, you'll see the struggle I have against the rad treads in the set of a Qantas. It's a big, big, big, big part of my little mission or evangelization or whatever it is that I do. How do I send you a little link here in my Google meet? How do I do that through a chat. In the Google meet? Or you can set it on telegram if you want. Oh yeah. Okay. I found out how to do it here. Maybe I'll do it on Telegraph. I'll do it on telegram. I want you to look at this and, and tell me if you've ever seen it before. Okay. So very interesting might be right up your alley. I was very excited to discover this guy, Larry chop. Manifesto of the new traditionalism. Baby. You don't need to read the whole thing. Basically. It's sorta like taking that, everything you love about the rod treads and that the traditionalist and the set of a Qantas, everything you love rightfully love about them. And then realizing that Vatican two is a real counselor. The holy spirit is present at it's a, it's a holy council. And so it's like the best of both worlds. This is what I've been dreaming about since I became a Catholic in 2009, I've been dreaming to have some sort of sanity with common sense and tradition and respect for the hierarchy and everything. And it seems like this guy is barking up that tree. So I'll have to look more deeply into it. I'm supposed to interview him at some point. Oh, nice. Yeah. I think the, the whole, we talk about this on our podcast all the time. Like obviously we know we have other problems with liberalism and yet, you know, the bishops in Germany and all these people and stuff like that. And it sucks, but also the rad treads who might have good intentions are still, you know, going towards error and basically interpreting things in a borderline Protestant esque way where, you know, like the Vatican too, while you could say that, like, you know, since Vatican two, there there's become a crisis in the church and it's been horrible and things of that nature. And it's due to people misinterpreted, misinterpreting Vatican too. Yeah. Yeah. Poor catechesus purposely subversive clergy men and things of that nature. But if you actually read the documents of Vatican two and you actually read it in the correct way with the lens of tradition behind you, there's nothing heretical or anything about it. I love it. I've read the documents of Vatican too. A couple of times, all 16 documents. I love it. Yes. It's a bit vague. Yes. You know, you know, there was compromised behind the scenes, you know, that we already know that, but the, the fact is the holy spirit was at work and there's so much beauty and truth. And I've, I, my faith has been improved by reading those documents. And I think that's the most common thing is that most people that hate Vatican too. I've never really read the documents. They've just like read, like I had a whole problem with like the, the part where it's like Muslims worship the true God or something like that. First of all, it says that they profess to, to, to worship the true God, doesn't say that they do so accurately or correctly. And then if you read it in the context, what it's basically saying is just that, that they're also monotheists, right? That's basically the whole point of that. They're basically they're monotheist. And we could use that to try to convert them and try to bring them to the true faith. It's trying to find like a common ground, but rad treads interpreted, as all they're saying that Muslims are worshiping the true God, and they're fine doing what they're doing. That's not what it's saying at all. Yeah. Well, you know, I, like I said, I've sort of a defacto Muslim for five minutes or whatever. It was never believed in Muhammad as being a true prophet of God. But I just kinda liked the simplicity of why, why would I want the Trinity? But now I understand why I want the Trinity. I want the Trinity. Cause I want the incarnation. I want the incarnation because I want that community. I want that. And I want that bridge between myself, a finite creature and God, the infinite creator. So I, you know, it takes time to digest Christianity. It takes a lifetime. It takes more than a lifetime. It takes all of eternity. That's what heaven will be is catechesis, right? Like entering into the life of the Trinity. Wow. That's not boring. A lot of people I used to say as an atheist, heaven's boring and the good times are in hell, you know, sex, drugs, and rock roll. It turns out all of that sex, drugs and rock and roll is in heaven. Right. I don't know. I don't know about sex. Dogs is not gonna hold, but the, the pleasure eternal pleasure of it. Yes. I don't think those specific things are there, but yeah. Yeah. Well, I often say, you know, I often say like, what do you, what do you like? I ask an atheist. What do you enjoy in life? I enjoy food. Well, there'll be food in heaven. Well, I mean, cause I can say is a tentative statement. I make like, there'll be food in heaven or something better the subtext days or something much better. And it's probably something like that. It's in comparable to anything we could even perceive on earth. Yeah. But it's like, when you're talking to a child, like we talked to a child, what do you like? Well, I like my toy truck and I like eating chocolate. Okay. Well adulthood, you can have lots of toys, meaning like cars and houses and whatever. And you can have lots of good treats. Like you just can't, you can't expect the child to understand what it's like to walk in the shoes of an adult. He'll get there. Right. And it's not, it's not evil to talk in simplistic, overly simplified terms to someone who hasn't yet arrived. So when we're here on earth and we know that it's beyond our comprehension, we can talk about, oh, I really want my pet dog to be there. I think we should encourage people atheist, especially to say, well, yeah, your pet will be in heaven. There's no reason for your pet not to be in having a camp. Merit hell, that's for sure. Right. So I like to err on the side of like paint a nice picture that yeah, you're going to have sex and drugs and rock and roll and all the things you love as a pagan atheist, you're going to have all of that. And the subtext being again or something much, much, much more subtle and refined and dignified and better, you know, nothing evil, nothing evil whatsoever in heaven, but it will be very, very good. Yeah. I think atheists for if they even really exist because I thought that I was an atheist that it's, you know, I think that it was really just, I just wanted to justification to be a degenerate. But I think that if any of these really exist, it takes more faith to believe that everything just happened spontaneously out of nothing for no reason whatsoever. And it nothing matters than it does have to believe that there is a creator that who loves you. Absolutely. Absolutely. There's no doubt about it. So I've interviewed quite a few feisty atheists are and Ronald, if you know our and RA he's yeah. He's a big, big time anti Christian. He was raised Mormon and I, I called into the atheist experience to talk to Matt Dillahunty. Dino. No, I'm very, I'm very bad with names and like even people I know, I don't even know their names. So it's. So my, my point is that they get very aggressive and it's entertaining. But when you, when you push them on any philosophical issue, especially metaphysics, they've got nothing. They've got absolutely nothing. And they have what they have is a bag of tricks of how to, you know, turn the conversation, change the subject of food, skate, hide in complexity. That's a really good tactic like hiding the complexity. Well, it's so complicated. We don't know. We don't have the answers yet, but science, you know, at one day science will have all the answers. Yeah. Which is such a cop-out though. Nothing could answer it, but science is working on it. We got to wait for science right now. We don't know. It's like, all right. Well we do know it's God like. Yeah. It's so lame. So are you interested in metaphysics and philosophy? Have you read anything. A little bit? I, I used to read like Marcus Aurelius meditations and stuff like that. And, but as far as like any secular, I read a little bit of neat. She's a little he's gay. I read it. I tried reading Ebola, but, and everybody like, like this isn't right. When people like love you Vola. I tried reading of Ola and I, I read a decent amount of him, but he just rambles on like never-ending sentences and it's just like exhausting to read him. So I've never not really answered that. You never heard of Julius Ebola. Okay. Here's like a, whatever. I, I wanna say the thirties and forties, maybe. Rene Deckard that's as far as I went, I went from the pre Socratics, which I loved through Socrates. My absolute all-time favorite I think is a Christian I think is a Catholic. I think he's in heaven and Plato who I like and Aristotle who I begrudgingly like, because his church has defended his philosophy. So stringently, especially Thomas Aquinas, but you know, there are, there are Platonists and Neoplatonist and this sort of thing, the whole Franciscan school, which is one on the Platonist side, you've got blessed at John DUNS SCOTUS. One of my favorite philosophers and Catholic saints. He wasn't canonized. Cause they found, allegedly found scratch marks in inside of his coffin when they dug them up. Like that was a sign that maybe he was fighting his death or whatever. I don't buy that. I think he's a Saint, you've got a Saint Bonaventure who was also a Franciscan Platonist and you've got my w two of my all-time favorites, the first St. Augustine of hippo and then the Saint, the second St. Augustine, which is Saint Anselm of Canterbury. So these are some I'm just dropping because you're going to want to read some of these, some of these, my favorite writers, some of the favorite saints in terms of their philosophy and reading, if you're into reading, that sort of thing. Yeah. And you know, talking about like ancient Greek philosophies and stuff like that. If you read a, you Michael Jones, he talks about how whatever was good and whatever these pagan philosophers had correct was fulfilled with Jesus Christ. And it was like, it wasn't like a, a contradictory thing. Once Christianity came, it was more like of a mutual fulfillment where that everything they were talking about was, and that they couldn't explain fully was fulfilled in Jesus Christ where they were. I think it was Aristotle always talking about the unmoved mover and things of that nature. So it's very interesting. Yeah. I don't know if you know, a St. Justin murder, but he talked about that truth belongs to us Christians. That's what he said. He was a convert from paganism and quite a, they're a great thinker. So we've got such a treasure. It's such a treasure. One lifetime is not enough. For. Real. So you know, my right now I'm reading Canon law and it's a big fat book. And I discovered that it's illegal. According to Canon law, it's illegal to not have a great in-between the confessor and the priest in the confessional. You have to have a confession booth with a grill. Oh really? Yeah. So it's illegal. So we find so many things like here in Montreal, it's like the wild west and everyone does what they want to do. We have the, the, the faithful in tinting, the host into the flood. And that's like, one of the worst crimes against the dignity of Christ was it puts the dignity of the Christ at risk. And this is a common practice in Quebec. If I go to any mass where they do that, I just don't go back to that church. I talked to the priest, give them a little flyer. That explains why it's wrong. Just don't go back. That's pretty basic. You just have like a flyer of Canon law, Lutheran, liturgical abuses, just scanning the priests and stuff like that. Yeah. I talked about it recently. I went to, when I was in Florida, I, I was trying to find a mess and I couldn't find any Latin mess. So I went to the closest Catholic church I could find. And it was the most insane thing I've ever seen in my life. Like they had giant big screen, two big screens on like above there, there two priests come up before the mass, or actually like during the mass, they had like 20 minutes of announcements. Then after the first, the first scripture reading, they gave it a word out to some guy and like this couple or whatever. And I was like, what is going on? They had the lyrics of the songs, like playing like karaoke with a full band too. Yeah, it was, it was insane. Right. And then they had like eight Eucharistic ministers and I'm pretty sure they didn't even hold up the host correctly. It was, it was like Protestants doing an SNL skit of how they thought Catholics were something. It was so bad. Oh, I can tell you stories. Make your toes curl, man. Like, I mean, I've met priests. I talked to priests who don't believe in the real presence. I've met priests who have said to me straight up, there is no difference between the Catholic mass and the Protestant celebration. What is going on? That's insane. They should be ex-communicated then they're not Catholic. They are. Ex-communicated like. Well, I mean, they excavate themselves by, by saying heresy like that. Like you get a self excommunication, but I do wish that there were more formal excommunications and anathemas stations, because I think the general public needs to see what is, and isn't okay, because it's just like the wild west everywhere. I've been to mass here in Montreal where I've told this story before my listeners just get sick of hearing it, but you go, you go into this big blue church and it's got signs outside, like peace and love. And you know, all the different religious symbols for all the different religions or whatever, there's a Catholic church. And then you go inside and the first thing you see the buffet table chips, Paul, everything, and they're gone. All the men are at the back munching before mass munching away on the sandwiches and this and that. And then I don't remember, I don't know if I'm remembering this correctly, but I think that the, the matter was not correct that they used for the, if I'm not mistaken, like it's supposed to be, you know, wheat bread and grape wine. And I, I don't wanna, I don't want to commit to this maybe a false memory, but it seems to me there was something fishy about what they did. I know I grew up in a Protestant church, whether you use grape juice, that's strictly forbidden. You know, it has to be the wine of grapes and certain things, but, you know, I don't want to be policing. I just don't go back. I just don't go back. It's like, I wish them. Well, I pray for them. And it's a gateway drug into Catholicism. Like there's weird, whatever this religion is, it's a gateway to Catholicism because those who, you know, pick up a book or that, you know, a stumble upon a good priest and a good church, there'll be like, Hey, this is cool. Like a, you know, virtue availing yourself in a worthy manner of the sacraments. Wow. Like this is, this is cool. Is this Catholicism? And then they can, they can learn about the real Catholicism by being in this phony sort of, and I'm not trying to put anyone down here, but it's just, it is a joke. I mean, we've seen on YouTube, the, the clown priests and. The people, the priest on segways and stuff, but you know, it's a big white pill for me. You know what white pill means, But like hopefulness, like, all right. So What gives me hope is that, is that so like despite how bad everything is and all the crisis going on in the church and stuff like that, it's like people like me and you and pine SAP and all these people, all these people that are converting to Catholicism now, because they're searching for the truth and they're cert and they see how decadent the world is. And they find Catholicism, those types of people that are going to start going into seminary and start becoming priests and stuff like that. I really do feel like there's going to be this gigantic. Re-invigoration of bringing the faith back to its core principles. And, you know, maybe not anytime soon, but eventually just like becoming way more strict and way more, you know, tingent on like sticking to the proper formulas of everything, you know? And like, I think it's going to like be a big evangelization type thing, and people are going to be way more traditional. I don't know if I sent it to you, but I will send it to you if I haven't already this little link to one of my favorite videos that I did talking, it's just audio only. But I talk about set of a can't ism. It's called the pros and cons of set of Qantas. And it just, it illustrates how the set of Kansas are no different from any other, a rebellious heretical or schismatic group. Protestants would actually show with extra steps. They're not different. Like I just go through all like a variety of heresies for each of the councils and I should show how it's always the same thing. Like there's always, you know, there's, it's always in turmoil. The church is always at the center of controversy and there are always, you know, weeds among the wheat and wolves in sheep's clothing and nothing has changed. We like to think that the good old days, like this is what the rad treads do they say, they just glorify the good old days. It's just so easy. You know, it's like looking at the beautiful women in the movies and going, oh, I wish my wife were like that. Well, your wife's better. Sorry, your wife's better than that. Like, look at Madonna, look at her today. Like, which would you rather trade? Are you going to trade your wife from Madonna? I don't think so. So forget about the fantasy that Hollywood and these. Women are fertile anymore. Well, I mean, it's just sickening. It's just sickening. The, the perversion of the woman of the, of sex of intimacy as a family, it's like, it's a big, big deal. And abortion's a big part of that obviously. And we, we have so much to talk about with Roe V Wade and all that. I don't really want to get too deeply into that cause, but I did want to mention one thing about Pope Francis. I am, I have to admit that I've been a huge defender of Pope Francis and, you know, I know, I know he's a progressive or on the left or whatever. It seems like that. I don't know, but I like him. I think he's a sweet guy. And I think he's, he's a holy guy. I don't agree with him on everything though. And I've been very disappointed with like, I'm a young earth creationist. So I'm disappointed that he seems like He believes, he seems to believe in a, that Jesus and Mary have all from apes. Like I just find that absurd. And I'm also a pissed off, excuse my language. I'm annoyed that he is pushing the backs and pushing the whole COVID religion. I think we just one. It's a little bit of a misinterpretation. I will say that he does have some big ambiguous statements and that, you know, he definitely could be doing more, but I think that he, he hasn't said anything remotely heretical, he hasn't done anything bad. Like people try to claim that he did, as far as the vac stuff, the CDF released a document, clarifying what he meant by that. He meant that if there is something that is good for the general public, that you should feel a moral obligation to do that. But the CDF document also clarified that any type of vaccine needs to be done on your own free will and that you can't be forced to do that. So people just like skim over that. I'm not saying you did that on purpose or whatever. I thought the same thing too, but you have to also realize that in the history of all the papacy, no Pope has ever been in the spotlight as much has had so much scrutiny and agendas being pushed on every single little statement that he says being reported by different reporters, mistranslated, all that stuff. That's why I talk about the piety of medieval peasants, who didn't even know the Pope's name and just went to church and listened to their priests and stuff like that. So you have to, you know, not really put so much interpretation or like too much effort trying to understand what the Pope is doing or saying or whatever, as long as he's not changing dog more doctrine or whatever. Yes. We can criticize things that he's not doing or his ambiguity and stuff like that. But we really do have to defend the Pope and we have to respect to see it as the holy father. And we got to pray for him because he's 85 years old, he has a really bad torn leg. He's barely able to walk. Everybody should be praying for Pope Francis. Absolutely. I pray from every day I pray from every day and I'm doing the first five Saturdays devotion. Now look, I've been trying to do it for years since my conversion I've tried, I've started so many times never completed it. Now I'm just like powering through. I'm going to get it done, but the whole evolution versus creationism. Can you talk about your perspective on that? Yeah. Evolution's faking gay. We did not evolve from apes. God created Adam and Eve were all from them. Yeah. I'm also, I don't know. You're a young earth creation. So what you believe that the earth was created less than 10,000 years ago? Universe. Yeah. Less than 10,000 whole universe. Less than 10,000. Years. Epic. I go, I go a step farther, further. I don't believe in space. I'm a flat earth there and, and totally denied basically all I that I don't, I can't confirm or deny. I don't, I don't claim to know how, how it works or anything like that, but it's definitely not the dimensions they tell us. It is. It's not a spinning. It's not a spinning globe. You know, I can't, I can't debate on the issue cause I don't know the specifics or whatever, but like, I don't believe that we're spinning globe going 666,000 miles through the universe or whatever. So yeah. Cool. I'm a total. Anti-science cook, no lab coat stuff. So yeah, that's my opinion. I'm not quite there on the flat earth. I don't think I can get there. Maybe I could. You'll come. I'll show you I'll show you the light. I'll I'll take you on the. I worked at the Canadian space agency. I've met astronauts, including the one of the first female astronaut Canadian. You met her, you met massaged agents hired to sci-op you into. It. Could be their globe propaganda. It could be one friend of mine from here in Montreal. He's a standup comedian. He claims to have started the whole flutter thing as a joke. Matthew, Matthew power land Matthew a boiling. Well, the whole flatter thing is so interesting to me because they were, they, they were teaching flat earth as an acceptable belief system up until like 1958 in certain American high schools that people don't know about. And you know, it really just became like a dog once the space where you started to come in where people like, like, oh, you believe that the earth isn't round, you're retarded, you know? And then that's basically what they do. And it's so funny because I talked about this on my last podcast too. It's like you talk to these right wing people who believe in all these different types of conspiracy theories and PSYOPs and you know, the Zionist new world daughter. And they're trying to make a nation of submissive slaves and eliminate all races and blah, blah, blah. So like that. And then you're like, you know, all the people that run the institutions and media and academia and science, you know, I think they might be like maybe lying about how the universe works. And they're like, what? No, they would never do that. You know? So it was just ridiculous to me. And that's why I never mentioned it for so long. Cause I knew it was such an alienating alienating subject or whatever. And now I just don't care. I just say what I want, but I believe. Hey, well, yeah, you just, we can't be people pleasers. And Jesus said, you have to hate your mother, your brother, your sister, your very self. My chat is blowing up on me now for, for the flat earth stuff. It's great. It's all right. I'll take care of them later. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I don't know. I'm open. The thing is I'm very open. It's the only reason it would be interesting to me is just to see that extra level of deception, how Satan's running this world. I already know Satan's running the world, right? He's the prince of this world. You know, we can see the mask is coming off with all this transgender nonsense, with all the abortion and just the blatant disregard for, you know, the most fundamental truths like that. Humans have a human nature, you know, or that women are women or that men are men or that no children shouldn't be taught that and catch this. Now children are being taught in Canada that abstinence sexual abstinence listen carefully, SEPs sexual abstinence is oral anal masturbation of various sorts. These are called sexual. Admins soaking. And these are what. Mormon soaking is that you don't want to look it up after the distributor at all. It's like, it's gross. It's. Like tough girl. Someone told me to watch girl. Am I really about to explain what Mormon soaking is? Okay. So more than soaking it, I don't know. Apparently it's a myth. If you, if you ask some Mormons about this, they get like really offended and they say it's not real, but there was like a viral Tik TOK, like two years ago or something where somebody was talking about Mormon soaking. And what it is is that the guy goes into the girl, but he's not allowed to make any emotion. So he has his friend like, like bounce on the bed to stimulate, to stimulate the motion. And it's like a loophole because he's not the one doing it. So that's how they get away with not having sex. What's the soaking part. What. Why is that pulse soaking. As you're not, cause you're not moving. I guess you're just soaking. All right. Anyway. So nevermind. Go on. What was I talking about before. This? Oh, so children are being taught that anal oral and something or are considering. Yeah. It's just totally, it's totally ridiculous. The, the abuse of children with all the sexual stuff, it's like, this is fourth grade, right? So what is that? Eight nine-year-olds 10 years. I don't know what fourth grade is, but it's too young. And so there's no age for that. I mean, there's, I'm an adult. I don't want to hear that stuff. Right? Like we need, there's no problem in our society that can't be fixed by a good Catholic education. It's all about education. Yeah. I say Catholicism is the cure for all problems in the world. The answer to every legitimate. And the people. Well, it is Jesus Christ. That's the answer. And the Catholic church is what it is. Jesus Christ. Right? Saint Paul says Christ and his church are one flesh. It's a deep mystery. Yeah. And with all this like transgender stuff and everything, people like normally con Republicans are always talking about the slippery slope and it started with gay marriage and now they want, and then they want to bake your cakes. And now they're transgender. And now they're teaching kids about sex and it's like, yeah, the slippery slope is real, but that's not where the slippery slope started. The slippery slope started when we started tolerating the disobedience to God when we started allowing for condoms and for accepting male promiscuity and stuff like that, the Protestant reformation thinking that you can interpret scripture the way you want that everything is a result of that. You could argue that it's ultimately result of, of Adam and Eve, disobeying God, you know, everything that is immoral. Once you allow the acceptance of anything immoral that opens Pandora's box to allow everything that's immoral. I just had a little mini revelation about flat earth. Why it might be attractive to me. Okay. Because one of my friends and guests is Owen. What's his name? He will Owen from the Colby century. You should check that out. If you don't know it already, it's a Catholic creationist website and he's a geocentric two. And a couple of my friends are chia, centrists, online friends. I don't have any real friends, were Catholic, actually. Real friends. In real life. But this whole geocentric and thing, you know, I believe that the earth is the center of the university in every meaningful way because the Eucharist is here. It's not being concentrated anywhere else in the universe, as far as I know. And I don't, I think there's a good philosophical argument that there's no other human life on any other planet, because if there is then Christ would have died for them and they need to have access to the sacraments too. So I believe the earth is the center in every way that matters. Is it the geo geometric center while it's hard for me to, I studied physics. You know, I worked at the space agency and I, you know, it's hard for me to digest the fact that, you know, to suddenly believe that your earth is at the center of the geometrical center, but whatever it's possible, I mean anything's possible, but your flat earth thing, you know, the, the reason I like being a young earth creationist is because it gives me proximity to Adam and Eve gives me proximity to the fall. It gives me a less of a less, a fair attitude about my own sin, right? Because if, if we were here for millions of years, I don't know what they say about the humanity, how old humanity is the evolutionists. But I think it's millions of years, whatever caveman and all that nonsense pre-history, which is a total myth. But with the flat earth, you would also have a proximity to God and to heaven and everything. It brings God up close and personal. So I am attracted to that. I'm just having a hard time. We can discuss this at another time and over the years you can convince me. Yeah. But it does give you, I want to, I want you to talk about that proximity of being close in time to the garden of Eden and the flat earth thing, where you have more proximity to the heavens to God. And I do actually believe that hell is under the earth, like at the center of the earth. I don't know if that's a, if that's a Catholic belief or it's just sort of a, my hunch. Yeah. Well, I mean the whole flat earth thing started like years before I was even Catholic or anything like that. And I didn't really believe it. You know, my, I, my, actually it was funny cause I was talking to my friend and I didn't even know he was a flat earth and we were talking about how like the, the government puts out conspiracy theories. I think we were talking about like QN or something like that. And we were like, how the government will fund conspiracies to like, you know, de-legitimized actual conspiracy theories or whatever. And I mentioned, I was like, kinda like how they put out the whole flat earth thing or whatever. And he was like, no, no, no, there's this flat. And I was like, what do you want? I was like, okay. Yeah, whatever. And he, then he sent me like a bunch of documentaries and stuff like that. And I just like watched it for like, I spent like two months just watching flat earth stuff and like trying to then I would watch like people trying to debunk it and stuff like that. And you know, I mean, it's not something that I really care about. Like obviously if, if the church dogmatize is that the earth is round, I'll be like, okay, I got to submit to that. So the authority of the church, whatever, but they haven't yet. So anybody who believes they're at this round is dumb as of right now, but yeah. And people are like, oh, well, why would they lie about it being round? Because it's a trillion dollar industry. If they can control what we believe about the universe and how the earth works, they control everything. They can control what we think about, you know, climate change. They can push nihilism. That's what the whole thing is that we're just like this accident and this vast universe and nothing matters. We're not the center of anything. They want to push nihilism and meaningless meaninglessness this, whatever I just said and act like life has no real purpose and that you can do whatever you want and nothing matters. That's what they want. They want you to be demoralized and think that your life has no purpose. So I think it's, it's perfect. It's perfectly reasonable of why they would do it. And second of all, I think it just makes the most sense when they talk about the dimensions. Erik, Dubai had this video where that he was going over. Exactly what NASA claims the dimensions of the earth are. And he does like a bunch of experiments showing, well, if they were, then you wouldn't be able to see this however many miles away. So let's say like, I don't know the total, the actual mathematic stuff or whatever. But if they say like, okay, for every 10,000 feet, there's a four foot drop off. So if something is a hundred thousand feet away, then you're going to have this much drop-off and you're not going to be able to see a building this tall, because it's going to be over the curvature and then they show it and you could see it perfectly with these news zoom in pike on night or whatever. It's called Mike on P nine lenses that they have where they're literally zooming in miles away for things that they're saying, oh, well actually when a ship goes over the horizon, it's because they're going over the curvature. But then you zoom in and you see the, the boat in full view, you know? So it was just like, okay, well, if the lying about the dimensions, what else are they lying about? And it just to me, flat earth makes the most sense. I really don't care if people agree with me or not, but that's what I did. And I think it makes sense once I got into Catholicism, it makes sense from like that perspective where God would create, you know, create us and that that's it. We are the center of the universe, you know, and plus it had, there's a bunch of scripture that, you know, correlates with flat earth with the firmament and talking about the earth being built on pillars and things like that. So. Yeah, I'm excited to find out, but you know, I, I wonder why don't we figure out some sort of way to check out Antarctica. There's a lot of mystery around Antarctica and that sort of thing. Like it's not that. The Antarctic aren't Antarctic treaty was like a bunch of nations coming together and agreeing that they wouldn't allow civilians to go past a certain point or something like that. And all these nations were like at war at the time. And so like, why would they make any type of deal? So, I mean, like, like I said, I'm dumb, like when it comes to like going into specifics and names and dates and stuff like that, I wish pine SAP, my cohost, cause he's like a Catholic rain man. He's like a robot. He knows that he knows like every specific name and date and stuff like that. I want to like, just like feed him like a DVD of like, or like a USB thing. Put it in his, in the back of his head of like all flat earth stuff, just so that he could help me in like flat earth debates. But. He's anti evolution. I don't think I've won him over on the flat earth thing. He doesn't really care too much. Like I don't care really. I just know from like what I looked up years ago, but like, he's just all about Catholicism in the church, but he like has documents memorized. It's insane. You got, when you're talking to, I think you're going to talk to him Friday, right? Yeah. He's yeah. You could like ask him anything. He's like, it's insane. He's literally rain, man. He's like a savant. I'm pretty sure he's definitely on like the spectrum, but he's also. Cool when I was on your telegram. He was, he was very quick to respond to me. I said, Hey, how can I get in touch with this guy? He's like all set you up. So. It doesn't get programmed that alarm for notifications in his head that even when he's sleeping, he could just go like this and write a message in his head. It seems like a sharp guy, but you know, this whole COVID fiasco, did you get the job or no. Absolutely not. Okay. So, you know, I just want to talk about the psychology of what's it called mass hypnosis or just people going along to get along and making little compromises. Like you've probably seen that conspiracy theory video is just texts that says it's just two weeks. It's just a mask. It's just social distance. It's just, this is just that it's just that it just goes on and on and on and on. And it's like, you know, Jesus talks about swallowing a camel and then filtering out the little gnats. It's like, this is what we do. Psychologically. We humans, we are able to believe a lot of nonsense, a lot of inconsistent, contradictory BS. It's part of our fallen nature, I guess. But you know, you have to wonder like, I mean, I see in my circle of friends, not that I have a lot of friends, but in my circle of acquaintances or loose friends or good friends, I have a couple of good friends, but it's always a surprise. Like, Hey, this one saw through the BS and this pack of other ones didn't right. It doesn't matter what you say to them. They just will not see it. So can you just talk a little bit about the psychology of our fallen human nature from your perspective, what have you seen among your crowd? Like people at work, people at school, people in your extended family, what have you seen? I think with the whole job thing, it's mainly a thing of like wanting to just fit in and just not caring like, oh, everybody else is doing it. So I just want to do it. I don't want to be that outcast or whatever. And you could have it on the other side too, where maybe people don't really care about the jet, but all their friends are anti-vax. So they're just like, well, I'm not anti-vaccine. I think it works fundamentally both ways, I guess. But the whole thing for me is like, I was never going to get it. I was paid to lose my job. Luckily I got a religious exemption for it, but I know some people that got fired, I know somebody that was working for this other company and he was working there for, I think 18 years. He had two more years before he retired with a pension. They wanted him to get the, the, the vaccine. And he said, no, left his job, lost his pension. You know? I mean, I'm sure he'll get like a part of it, but he would have got way more if he stayed just for two more years. So I admire that. I admire not doing that, but yeah, the whole thing that they're telling, I, I literally used to like, because with the whole COVID thing, I was listening to it since December or January, 2020, maybe. Cause I was on four Chan and looking at all the pulled threads. I don't know if you know what that is, but it's fortunate. It's like an image board poll is politically incorrect and they, whatever it used to be kind of like, like edgy politics and stuff like that. Now it's filled with like trannies and stuff or whatever. So they used to post like pictures and videos from China of all these people convulsing and like all these like dropping dead convulsing on the streets and stuff like that. And then they were saying how it's going to come to America in two weeks and all these people are going to die. Right. And I was like, oh yes. End of the world, this is awesome. End times let's do this or whatever. Right. So I was like all stoked that like, okay, this is gonna be the apocalypse. Right. I finally get to die and I'm getting, and so, so then it comes to America, right. And I'm telling like all my friends and stuff and I'm like, oh, this is going to be serious. Blah, blah, blah. And then like, it just did not, it was not, nothing was adding up. It wasn't, it just didn't make any sense. And I'm like, yeah. And I was like, okay, this is just not, I think, I think this whole thing is fake now, you know? And like then everything they were saying just didn't make sense about like, who could get it. Who's most effected all the stuff and nothing was adding up. And I was like, I don't know what it is. I mean, maybe there is something because my grandma died from it. My wife's grandfather died from it. My dad almost died from it. But what they're saying about how it affects people and like how deadly it is, just doesn't make any sense because my, my grandfather was like 76 years old. Right. He was, he was an alcoholic when he was in his thirties or something like that. So I had like cirrhosis of the liver. He had Alzheimer's, he had diabetes, he smoked for 20 years. He was a completely unhealthy man. And like the prime example of somebody who should get COVID and immediately die. He got COVID when, like at first came out, recovered in two weeks. My co-worker's mom was in her late forties. Got it. And died like immediately. So I was like, what? Like what is going on? It just doesn't make any sense. And then they want to rush this vaccines. I like that. I don't believe in regular vaccines. So I'm not going to touch a new experimental vaccine for a sickness that they can't even like get a straight answer of what it is. And I think it's all about control. It's all about trying to manipulate the populous into doing and seeing what they can get away with seeing how far they can go and push and stuff like that. And honestly, I'm surprised that it kind of just like faded off now. Like you barely hear anything about it, you know, it's just like now they moved on to the next thing. Now it's the Russia war. And now it's going to be a white supremacist mass shootings. And it's the summer of PSYOPs. So it's just like, they just move on from one thing to the other. And I just try to block everything out now, but I will never get vaccinated. And I don't care. What I have to lose. Is the boarded fetal matter, the HEC human M prio kidney cells and all that. Is that an issue for you? How big an issue is that for you. Originally? It was an issue until I kind of looked at what the Catholic church stance is for it. And the Catholic church stance is that it's like the separate, the degrees of separation that you are not morally culpable for the abortion stuff. And it's not really, you're not shooting like shooting a boarded fetal cells into you, which is what I thought it was. It's that the original vaccine was tested on an aborted fetus from like 1973 or something like that. But I think that if that could deter people, then they should either, I don't want anything that came from abortion, you know, but also to play devil's advocate Tylenol and a bunch of other medications St. Same, same testing concept that these vaccines go through with the aborted fetal. But the little candies that you like, the zingy flavor of they were, they were developed using a fetal cell. So you can't really escape it. That's it's not the number one thing for me. The number one thing for me is that I have free will and that I will not be coerced into giving free consent, because guess what? If I'm coursed into giving free consent, it's no longer free consent. And I will not be coursed into giving informed consent without being informed. Because guess what? If I'm not informed, it's not informed consent. This is not rocket science people. You see the prime minister or the whoever it was the premier, whoever it was in Australia a year, whatever it was ago, who was asked a question, what about the person who died from the vaccine? Oh, well you make your own medical decisions. Talk it over with your doctor. It's on you. It's your responsibility. You're responsible for the medical choices you make and the choices you make and the risks you take with experimental. Well, he didn't say experimental gene therapy, but that's basically what it is. He's like, oh no, no, no. That's your, that's your choice. Get informed, make a free choice. And it's on you a hundred percent on you. Okay. Well, thank you very much for clarifying that. Right? So I think a lot of people didn't realize that they're part of like my niece is studying virology or whatever it is, or molecular biology or something. She had no idea that it was in clinical trial phase, like phase two, phase three, whatever, whatever, as they've been rolling out slowly, she had no idea. She thought it was like a legit thing. And it's like, you know, not to mention the PCR and all that. Just it's just flim-flam, it's all flimflam and it's all been, it's all been a sham right from the beginning. And since when, since when, tell me this since, when did the left trust the government? Since when, like when did that happen? Was it like 10 years ago? 20 years ago? Like what, when did that shift take place? Because it used to be antiestablishment the left. Am I wrong? I mean, I'm not a big political. Oh yeah. You look a