CVS Live Guest - 2022-11-29 - Marcy Daugherty

Author Streamed Tuesday November 29th, 2022

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CVS Live Guest - 2020-02-22 - Aidan Lisney

Streamed January 25th, 2020

CVS Live Guest - 2020-01-25 - Kalen R.

I met Marcy on Twitter, where her bio reads:

Under Construction

Under Construction

These YouTube transcripts are generated automatically and are therefore unformatted and replete with errors.
and we are live I'm here with Marcy Marcy how are you doing good how are you oh I forgot to adjust you there you are you're centered on my screen now I'm very well thank you so much it's exciting to uh have a woman on the podcast like I said I was talking to you before and it's so rare such a privilege and bring a different perspective and there there is a difference between men and women right amen so very glad to meet you you're very entertaining on Twitter that's where I met you and you do a lot of exciting uh banter with the enemies of Christ and you just put some sunshine in the uh in the timeline too with your Christian content but before we get into uh your current your current state of mind and where you're at uh in life I want to just go back to your childhood how were you raised how did you figure out that God is real that Jesus Christ is God incarnate and all that good stuff uh even before the Age of Reason where you could think for yourself just The Impressions that you got did your parents take you to church uh what was it like growing up well my situation is very unique I was raised by a single father uh he was agnostic however my mother's parents who would visit me occasionally were Christian so that was my first introduction to the idea of Christianity um I I would pray a lot on my own and I would just kind of feel his presence and I think part of that was growing up without a mother I was like seeking and um I I always felt he was there answering me in various ways and um I don't know anytime I saw anything pertaining to Jesus I would get tears in my eyes it was just kind of this movement of the holy spirit that you know kind of guided me to to believing in him despite the fact that my my dad did not and um there were a few times as a child where I would kind of know some things about Jesus that I couldn't really explain and I would try to talk to my dad about it and he would kind of you know brush me off because I could tell he thought it was ridiculous but um I found out later as an adult the things that I were thinking were actually biblical so I feel like that was just the Holy Spirit actually you know working in me even though I wasn't being taught per se amazing can you uh talk a little bit about your siblings do you oh you said you're an only child raised by only child yes child raised by a dad was your dad a military man he's a police officer Okay the reason I ask is I saw I just checked out your profile to grab a photo of you and I saw you married a military man is that right correct yes okay what kind of uh work does he do or what was he's in the Infantry okay that's just a foot soldier Okay okay and did active deployment I don't know the terminology so you're good you're good did he do anything interesting in the military um he's deployed three times twice to Afghanistan once Iraq he is getting out this year he's a little disillusioned with the direction the military has taken recently so yeah yeah I can imagine I mean uh I always was naive up until covet like about the police military government media well you know we can get into all this later but I'm a bit jaded since kovid has to put it mildly but uh 911 also woke me up quite a bit but I don't want to get too heavy into the politics and all the dark stuff uh uh you know Satan's the prince of this world but I want to talk more about Jesus Christ and do you have Aunts Uncles I feel I feel a little bit sad that you don't have more like siblings and your mom wasn't around uh can you just talk about who you did have was there an Extended sort of a feeling of extended family cousins and stuff like that yeah well my my mother did have other children that were adopted to other people they weren't my dad's children and so I've reconnected with them in my adulthood which was actually pretty cool um I do have cousins uh through them that also are Christian through my mom's brother and um emila her parents also so and I would visit them in the summer so I did have family that were supporting me and my faith it just and my dad actually recently has come to believe through kovid actually so um there's a little happy ending there wow amazing amazing so he saw that Satan is real and he said well God must be real too right exactly became pretty apparent through these past few years it's kind of hard to avoid yeah well it's amazing the Lord works in mysterious ways what about your friends growing up uh remind me because I wasn't really paying attention I was fussing around while you were talking remind me what age you knew that God was real and uh what was the age sort of I would say I was between like seven and eight years old um when I really felt strongly that he was real and I was really you know I was remember having a thought that there's freedom in Christ everyone who doesn't believe in Christ is in Chains but people who believe in Christ are free and I had that thought as like a seven eight year old and like I said I took it to my father and I was like Dad I had this thought and he was like yeah I don't know what that means but like now having studied the Bible I'm like that was spot on and I had no reason to know that like no one had taught me that so um pretty young like you know seven eight years old Age of Reason like age and accountability give or take yeah so when did you first do you remember the first time you entered a church do you remember that um I was I want to say I was like in middle school with my grandparents and they didn't even go regularly they would just go occasionally do you remember what denomination or whatever it was they were from Houston so it was a mega church in Houston but I don't I don't know if it was Joel Olsteen's I because I can't really recall I remember it was huge it was full of people um and I don't remember much else about it because it was maybe I the one time I went in my childhood wow well it must have been weird a mega church like I mean I would find it weird as an adult much less as a child yeah it's a weird phenomenon yeah so uh before we get into you today and all the good stuff I'm just wondering what your friends thought like at school and like were you the weird Jesus Freak or did like what was that like um I kind of kept it to myself I didn't really you know go around proselytizing or anything like that um not many people around me really talked about Christ so but I would have inner dialogues with him on my own and I just kind of kept it to myself wow I mean knowing what I know now I wish I had you know done differently and maybe sought out a church and you know been more open about it but I I feel like because of my dad thinking I was weird I thought other people would think I was weird so I kind of you know internalized it yeah so there must be there must be a turning point where you say hey I'm an adult now and I'm gonna take control of my destiny and I'm going to be like come out of the closet sort of thing uh there must have been a one or two turning points like that can you talk about some of those well I think I was lost through my 20s and early 30s and I would say that after I do have a divorce in my history and after that I was really like kind of Jarred awake and um I started praying and you know asking for forgiveness for the direction my life had taken and that was when I kind of felt that nudge to join the military and it was after joining the military where I met my current husband and we married and at our wedding we actually had a big rainbow and I found that interesting because like since then my life is really smoothed out and that was when I really started to delve deep into my faith and study the Bible and so I feel like it was my marriage has stabilized me and that rainbow was God telling me like your storm is over and you know you're ready to start what I have for you and I've really found that to be the case because I started studying the Bible and it was like drinking from a fire hose and I was just blown away by the level of information that's there and how it really can't be denied when you study it honestly and openly uh did you have uh you you will monitor yourself and filter yourself so you don't say anything if it's too personal but did you dive deep into sex drugs and rock and roll and all the dark side uh before like you know because the first marriage obviously wasn't ideal right I'm assuming I'm assuming I mean correctly if I'm wrong but maybe you parted on friendly terms but was there uh because like for me I was an atheistic Satanist before I converted in 2009 as an adult and I my adolescence was marked by you know not sex but I wish but drugs and rock and roll and a lot of sexual frustration and you know experimenting with drugs and alcohol from uh teen years and stuff like that so it's very common I'm not putting you on the spot just wondering if it if it's something that you share it too no no I love to share it because it's a testament to the changing power of Jesus I mean that's how we know we're saved is we can see that clear delineation to who I was before versus who I was after and I have this great obvious before and after because yes I partied I drank um I behaved promiscuously and um and then like my first marriage you know fell apart due to infidelity um on both parts it wasn't just him or me it was kind of a mutual thing and like I said lots of drinking and um really I can look back and see that I was very self-absorbed and very kind of like walled off and worried about my own feelings and my own wants and desires and um the clear difference of like how my eyes are open now and how I can see you know the morality and the you know the beauty that is in following the law and the word you know voluntarily not obviously for salvation but because it's just the most healthy thing to do and um I think everyone needs to go through that um to different degrees obviously to really realize they need Christ I mean that's why Christ was seeking Sinners because he knew that they were the people ready to receive him so amazing so how is uh I mean I will focus essentially on you but I'm just wondering how your ex is doing are you is he okay he's moved on he has uh kids with someone else I'm not sure if they're married um I hope he's going to church I'm not sure and uh your hubby he's uh he's right on the same page same wavelength with you or what as far as studying studying I will I'm a little more gung-ho than he is but he's definitely open to it he's a Believer he was raised Catholic oh um but he's uh he's definitely going on this journey with me actually he did his first solo bible study on his own last night at work and he brought it home on and he brought home the notes to tell me today you know what he did and I was pretty impressed for his first time it was really wow wow would he come on and talk to me I think um like right now no no no no no no no not now in the future we'll see if he'll come on and talk to me Maybe I want to hear the side of the story but um yeah so uh you know one thing I noticed about you on Twitter I'm just I'm very new to Twitter what I noticed is that you're uh aggressive in a good way uh you're sharp in both senses of the word like you're intelligent but you're also edgy like a little bit edgy I find um No Nonsense uh you know just like the kind of woman that I like tough you know uh is that does that sound right um yeah I've been described as having kind of a masculine Edge to me for a female and that is in no way any kind of gender blending I mean I just I think it was because I was raised by my dad and he's very direct and I'm very direct um I have a very strong pull to contend for the faith yeah um I think you know the way God or Jesus picked Paul because he was so aggressive and he's like I want to turn that aggression to my kingdom for my kingdom and sure enough Paul went out there and killed it right I mean he didn't stop for anything I think God sees me kind of in a similar light where it's like okay here's this mouthy aggressive girl but I can use that because there are so many wilting flower Christians out there right that you just kind of melt when anyone says you're not being loving and they just you know kind of melt away and and they don't really stand up for the truth or you know what's right and I think God is looking for that in this time that we're in he needs people who are not afraid to speak out so in real life versus online are you pretty much the same or do you tone it down in real life in terms of the evangelization and the the Outreach for Christ so when I'm in person um for example my sister that I reconnected with uh who was adopted she's atheist um so when I have conversations with her I'm not quite as aggressive because I don't I don't want her to feel um you know bullied and but people on Twitter though that's a whole other level because I feel like they're deliberately in a lot of Senses being dishonest so I don't I kind of take my gloves off yeah their Sawyer is a little bit of a difference yeah and what is the meaning behind your handle if you want to share your handle well when I started Twitter um I was arguing politics more than religion and uh I just felt like people are very confidently wrong so I thought it was kind of cute to name myself autocorrect like I'm correcting what you're saying so and the 2.0 oh that was because I my first account was suspended cool um I think it was because I shared a Candace Owen post at one point and I got booted off of Twitter is that edgy is it it was at the time maybe I don't know I think I think she I can't remember what controversy it was it was something over some famous person and okay um I shared it and I and I was like talking with some people on it and I think I got kicked off just I don't remember even what I said in any anymore it was something conservative have you noticed have you noticed because like I mean I'm absolutely amazed because I have to watch what I say on YouTube like I can't talk about the job I can't talk about 2020. I can't talk about any of that stuff because I've been I almost lost my whole account um but what I want on Twitter it's like wow it's like everyone here is Conservative Christian they're all talking like openly about whatever no matter even if it's a wacky conspiracy theory like I'm I'm completely for you know the free market of ideas freedom of uh I freedom of speech and all that and I find Twitter like wow it's so free but I only joined when Elon bought it so I don't know is that the difference um yeah there was some highs and lows where it wasn't really safe to say what you're thinking um I actually came off a 12-hour ban today because of something I said um but I I said that uh that trans surgeries don't diminish suicidality and they uh I think they reported me on you know promoting self-harm so some of the algorithms will still get you oh if you're not but um I mean theoretically elon's supposed to have made a difference so we'll see get rid of some of those Bots maybe or yeah um I don't I don't know what the politics are either in terms of like retweeting like I had a Christian friend reach out to me and say hey David why are you retreating retweeting stuff that's like you know a lot edgier than you are in real life and I just said well if I find it funny I retweet it but am I held accountable for the stuff that like if I watch something that's like even over the line for me if I retweet it like I could justify why I posted it if we sit down and chat but if you just look at my timeline you might think that I'm some sort of extremist or something you know am I responsible for what I retweet uh some people would say so I think that Twitter will only boot you over things you actually tweet yourself I don't think retweeting something will get you booted but just you know some of the comments you make under something will be held against you if it's something that they deem offensive or violating their terms of service and I because of the oppression of the governments and all the big Tech and whatever I'm kind of like letting myself dabble in areas that I wouldn't have like I mean that I wouldn't have before just like it would be unattractive before but now it's like hey let's just see like I mean let's see what's under this rock or what's under that rock and uh let's air it out a bit right instead of clamping down on everything and it's just like people need to express themselves right well and more than ever we can't trust what we're being told from mainstream sources so people are automatically seeking you know more individuals smaller sources of news and information because they don't trust you know the larger ones so there's kind of they're kind of making their own market for what they're trying to prevent in a way yeah it's backfiring so do you ever get emotionally invested in uh Twitter battle or whatever like where you actually are it ruins your day or something or no yes that that's almost unavoidable I think um I get really upset when people misrepresent God which they do frequently um I feel like he's straw man uh more than anybody else's strong man and God I've never heard that that's amazing all the time I mean the way people represent him and present him is so different from what he actually is it it really does affect me because you know I'm emotionally invested in him and his mission because of what he did for me and I want that to spread to other people and there's so many people out there blocking that for other people through misinformation and misrepresentation of his word so yeah it's hard not to get upset I try you know to take deep breaths and and not let it affect my day but that's easier said than done on the brighter side of you met a lot of like-minded people a lot of good Christians and good people generally I have been blown away by the people that I've met um I actually have a small group um uh that somebody we do online Bible studies together and he does the spaces and he also leads Bible studies where people from all over we have a lady from Canada someone from California someone from Texas someone from you know Washington and we all meet together on Facebook rooms because we all met on Twitter and we do Bible studies and that's been like my little church that I've had since covid and I mean I still attend a church here in Alabama where I live but I I'm closer to the little online church that I've made on Twitter they know me so well and they've really I don't know we it really feels like we're just this little Church of Philadelphia you know trying to spread the word and do our own little in-home meetings kind of how the church started uh all those years ago you know meeting in homes and kind of doing your own thing yeah well it's one of the benefits I guess of being persecuted the church being persecuted and the blood of the martyrs is the seed of the church as they say and it really does like it just it's I always laugh at Satan because he thinks he's hurting Christ on his church but he's helping everything he does helps the church everything yeah the enemies of the the enemies of God are going to end up sadly are going to end up in hell those who are adamant about it and who are stubborn they're going to end up in hell so Satan's helping God by ushering those people to hell and that those of us who have to be Tried by fire here below Satan's helping god with that it's just like Satan is just helping on so many levels he's in a no-win situation but unfortunately he doesn't see it well I mean fortunately I guess he's frustrated he's he's very frustrated and annoyed yes I can imagine he's Eddie's silly and stupid and when we see the lgbtq or whatever like I mean I'm not insulting any individual person but when we see the propaganda is so it's so juvenile it's so stupid it's so silly calling up down calling Left Right calling evil good calling good evil it's so childish it's so transparent everyone knows it's nonsense I think even those who are pretending to buy it I think they know it's nonsense but it's just it's it's just it's just a really low quality uh worldview or Satanism and it's a very popular world view sadly um and many of the adherence of of modern day Satanism call themselves Christians or Jews or Muslims or or whatever right that's just the label that they're working under but they are catering to Satan and his uh his evil agenda right do you agree yeah it's it's the pull of do what thou Wilt um even though you might not say that um a lot of the ideology we see coming out of progressive churches basically resembles do without Wilt in other words like there's no consequence for sin there's um you know no requirements to follow Jesus you just have to accept blankly affirm everybody and and that I don't I can't differentiate that from Satanism to be honest and I don't I don't know how they don't see it but it really it really is misleading a lot of people I guess that's why it's a broad path yeah so I want to talk about uh your prayer life I want to talk about uh the Bible and what it means to you and uh I want to well first of all I guess to start um do you have any sort of notion about what the Catholic church is and what the Reformation was and what the different denominations today are and where the evangelicals fit in and all the landscape of all the Christian communities do you have a sense of that and do you have a preferred place on the this spectrum or that Spectrum within the Christian communities what's your what's your bearing on that so my understanding of the Catholic Church comes from Chuck missler's Revelation Series where he goes through the letters to the churches and he identifies a personal application a local application and then a prophetic application for each letter and he um highlights that the Church of thyatira is the church the Catholic church and then he goes over a whole history of the church um how you know it it began through Rome you know marrying the church and bringing it as to part of Rome's you know government religion and making it legal to be Christian and then requiring conversion and then that went on you know to spread through Europe as the Roman Empire fell apart and then the Reformation of course you had um I'm nervous so his name just flew out of my head the guy who nailed the letter Martin Luther there you go um the Reformation starting uh not starting with him but definitely taking off with him and then him being protected by the German princes and then it Lutheranism kind of spreading through there and then eventually overseas the United States through the Protestants that sailed um obviously there's you know the Inquisition and things like that the darker history and I consider Catholics my brothers and sisters in Christ because Christ does acknowledge them in those letters so I see them as Christians I don't see them as a cult or a different sect I see Christ acknowledging them so I acknowledge them as well I consider myself a non-denominational follower of Christ I don't really identify with any denomination I just read the Bible and pray okay yeah that's that's a catchy uh version I I mean when I I don't know much about I was raised Protestant but I was raised in the United Church of Canada which is a very liberal Church very liberal to the point where today they have atheist ministers the first atheist minister in the United Church of Canada was actually on my podcast um but you can't get more liberal than atheist right yeah that's rules it gets [Music] the whole Evangelical thing is that uh what is that for you so I think Evangelical Christian is kind of you know a big blanket term for like conservative American Christians that are just trying to spread the gospel um I think it's been almost used as a slur the farther we get into you know the future here um people kind of associate it with you know small-mindedness racism you know all the isms um and you know now kind of like conflating it with Christian nationalism but I think um I I just think it's used as a blanket term it's a very broad term and it doesn't really like describe anything specific enough to be you know useful yeah but uh are you under that umbrella or no are you I'm sure most people would consider me under that umbrella yeah I uh I uh deaf I guess just because the non-denominational Christian American I think that's how most people would refer to me and I take the Bible very literally so yeah you probably fall under that umbrella I have a lot to ask you you touched on Christian nationalism I do you know I do admit openly that I do like Nick Fuentes even though he's got some controversy surrounding him I do like him I just think he's a sweet young man and you know he's a bit too edgy maybe and maybe he's a bit of a misogynist maybe a bit of a racist I don't know but um you know no one's perfect whatever but uh I like them I mean I just happen to like them you know uh what do you think is happening I mean I don't like when people bad-mouth the Jews because I worship Jesus who's a Jew and uh you know I don't think we don't need to uh paint with a broad brush the Jews or anyone else right right so I'm against that for sure there's no excuse for that and uh I certainly wouldn't deny the Holocaust or anything like in My Religion the Catholic religion we have saints who died in the concentration camps and it's an infallible pronouncement that they you know died and went to heaven so to deny the Holocaust is to cease to be Catholic you know so yeah we can't deny the Holocaust and I'm I'm not tempted to either but there are rumors spreading around about Christian nationalism and they mix it with white supremacy overtones and these sorts of things what do you think is happening uh in America today with that sort of the young the young males predominantly frustrated young males who are looking to leaders who are Accused at least accused of being in that alt-right uh Spectrum I I think it's I think it's an exaggerated issue I I think there are males looking for traditional Christian you know strong leaders to follow I think the idea that it's happening in large numbers with like white supremacy and all that I think that's a deliberate conflation by the media to try to paint all Christians with a brush of racism and and uh bigotry I don't I don't think it's I think most Christians fall under a reasonable umbrella of you know we want to protect our children and we want to we want to vote our values and our way of life just like everyone else does and um we're tired of being labeled with a bunch of extremist labels you know even though we're not we're being straw manned we're not holding those views we're just being accused of it and there are very few strong voices really to correct that lie so it's kind of a boogeyman that's being created purposefully to kind of smear a whole group of people and and kind of create panic in um in the left because then they have someone to fight against and it unites them behind their leaders that they want votes from them so you know um it's easy today and I will get off the whole social media thing but it's just because it's I'm pretty new to it but um it's interesting if you go uh anywhere in this world you're going to be surrounded at least in North America and Western World you're going to be surrounded by the left and with their ideology the propaganda and this sort of thing so it's easy to find that uh and you can find your Silo if that's what you want the content you want you can find that and one of the sources of that that I go to to get the perspective of the left is imager or imager whatever it's called and they just have a bunch of memes and images and cats and uh you know it used to be all about cats and Donald Trump now Donald Trump's not quite in the news quite as much but um you know you get their perspective of the left like just through their memes and through what they find funny and what they find horrifying and shocking and I like to dive into that world to sort of see how they're feeling and I can see the humanity I can see that they're real people that have feelings and they you know they care and whatever about each other and they're just perverted sexually mainly that's the main thing like they're just sexual perverts like that's the main thing right they're gluttons and they're perverts like me like I'm a glutton and a privilege so I think it's wrong I think it's wrong to be a glutton and a pervert but um they think it's good you know so uh and then you can go in the right on the right wing it can Silo into uh like bit shoots mainly right wing and I go on there and I check with the right Wing's saying and you know I like these people too and they're they're wrong about other things whatever but um what I'm seeing is a pattern on both sides they're both pointing the finger at the other camp and they're accusing the other side of very similar things like you're not human enough you're you know you're a liar and it's like just the same the same sorts of accusations the same sorts of insults coming from both sides and that's why I will never say that I'm right wing or left wing because I'm a Christian I have to be in the center with Christ Christ is the center of the universe and so it's an antidote to really falling prey to the left or the right being a Christian right so just maybe talk about that from your perspective so to me this political divide is a red herring um I think that Christ died for everybody and I think he wants people on the left and the right both to come home um I think that I used to be a Republican and I used to be argue really strongly for conservative political ideals however uh since covid and watching Trump you know pushed the vaccine right along with everybody else and um and some of the steps that he took I realized I woke up that they're all on all the politicians are on the same side and we're kind of being had in terms of this US versus them mentality I think the US versus them are the sons of God versus the sons of Satan I mean like Jesus said to the Pharisees you are of your father and I think that's the true divide and we're being falsely divided you know through kind of a deception where oh you know if you vote for this person all your dreams are going to come true and it's like everything you want is going to come to pass where it's like no that's not they're all working for the same person and they all have the same goal and they're tricking us into thinking you know there's any difference I think for sure 100 100 agree 100 agree and I saw that I saw that even before covert especially since covid and uh it's it can be frustrating it can be frustrating because uh I can only imagine how frustrating it was for the God man Jesus Christ to walk on this Earth and a couple of times we see little hints of that in the Bible where Jesus seems to be a little bit annoyed or frustrated with his disciples and even his Apostles as Twelve Apostles so I guess we can allow ourselves to be a little bit aggravated by the world right yeah I mean Jesus definitely you know he didn't hold or pull punches when you know he was facing lies and I think that's something a lot of Christians have lost sight of yeah the Church of nice that's what we call it in the Catholic Church like the branch of the church that wants to just smooth over all gloss over all the sin and you know love is love and whatever it's like I I you know I used to be an atheist and uh living a pretty dark lifestyle in terms of world view and philosophy I wasn't getting up to really too much nasty stuff in in terms of action but in terms of my world view it was very dark and I was hanging out with criminals and homosexuals and stuff like that and uh you know when I converted I lost a lot of friends you know when I became Christian I lost a lot of friends uh and one of my homosexual friends just kept emphasizing over and over again like Love Is Love and my boyfriend and I we love each other and this and that and it's just so clear like everything became clear when I became a Christian like yes you not only can you love your friend who's a boy but if you don't love him you're in danger of Hellfire you have to love him you command it to love him just don't do anything perverted with him don't touch him don't neck with him don't kiss him don't treat him like he's your girl well the problem is the problem is the English language right I mean love is one word but in Greek it's like five words and it really does a really good job of you know because when God's commanding us to love our neighbor he means Agape sacrificial love but when when someone's saying Love Is Love they're talking about Eros which is lust and I mean yeah lust is lust but not all love is equal and not all love is viewed the same way by God and I think Satan really takes advantage of the fact that English has one word for love and that's really unfortunate we've got to bring back the Greek yeah let's just bring back the green my wife my wife is Greek and I lived in Greece a couple of times and it's a beautiful it's a beautiful place 38 of the Greeks today go to church every Sunday only 38 percent so I thought it was I thought it was on fire for Christ like the Orthodox are very proud of their religion they're very very culturally proud of their religion and I come to find out that only 38 of those adults who believe actually attend Church regularly now in your world view in your Christian Community uh Church attendance probably isn't such a big deal but you have to understand from the from the Catholic and Orthodox perspective it's like it is like part of the bare minimum like you have to go to church every Sunday to honor the resurrection and it's so it's a big deal yeah and so yeah that's kind of a thermometer right um and the rest of Europe's a hot mess too with uh as you know probably well yeah the angelican church has atheist pastors right so I know they do they have women also probably I mean I wouldn't be surprised I do I just know for sure they have atheist pastors which is like an oxymoron but it's it's crazy it's a crazy world I was really excited to learn on Twitter I can't remember what you posted or what but um that you're also like me a young Earth creationist you want to talk about creation versus Evolution sure I would love to what's what was the what was the turning point or were you just always from age eight so as I started to study the Bible in Genesis um like I said I following Chuck Missler he taught me he said the law he said the longer that he's gone into his studies and he's ever changed his view on anything it's always been to take the script more literally so with that in mind you know I approached it and then I discovered videos by Jason Lyle who says that science can confirm creation and I learned some things about dating methods um I learned about how fossils are created and how that actually um supports the flood the story of the flood um I learned I learned about just how you know evolution isn't feasible in terms of its adding information um which doesn't happen in a mutation a mutation information is usually subtracted and so there's just so many holes in what we're taught in school as fact and when you really look into it it doesn't hold water I mean even the idea of abiogenesis like it can occur in the presence of oxygen and they can't replicate it so they don't even have an answer for us to a beginning of this process of evolution yet they they pound it into these kids heads in school and um it's frustrating because you know when you're arguing with people who support evolution and you ask them to support their argument a lot of their argument comes from authority of like well just everyone believes this I mean scientists believe this and they they can't even really explain it they just claim the evidence is there kind of like what they accuse Us of for believing you know believing the Bible so it's hilarious um you know a biogenesis is such a sad joke I don't know if you're familiar with uh Dr James tour and his work in chemistry and he no I'm not you really should check him out okay you really really should check him out he's a Christian he's not Catholic he's a Christian of some sort I don't know probably a lot like you I don't know um but um very it does a very thorough and fair job looking at the chemistry because before biology before there's life biological life uh according to the evolutionary theories before biology there was only chemistry there was no life and life came from non-life and he just looks at how difficult it would be for that to happen randomly or spontaneously or whatever it's just like absolutely impossible it's ridiculously impossible and he's a very highly decorated academic I guess you could say a lot of Publications a lot of patents in nanotechnology with chemistry and stuff like that highly highly recommend you check out Dr James tour okay so how do you spell tour like a tour t-o-u-r okay James tour you're gonna love him I think you're gonna love him and he opens with prayer silent prayer often where you just see him nod his head and give a little prayer quietly to himself uh he's a man of Faith he's a man of God and it's amazing so um yeah I my journey to God was philosophy So reading the Western tradition starting with the pre-socratics and then up through Socrates Plato Aristotle all the way up to Descartes by the time I hit Descartes I was a hot mess philosophically but I at that moment uh God revealed himself to me and I became a generic monotheist I still hated Christ in his church because I was anti-christian as an atheist obviously and uh I was for a short time I was considering myself to be a some sort of Muslim but I didn't believe in the Quran or in Muhammad but I just thought I don't want to be Christian I can't be Jewish so I must be a Muslim because there are only three sort of Mainline religions that are monotheistic and I found a Muslim preacher who I really like even to this day I really like him this is Zakir Naik and he's controversial people don't like him but uh I like him and he said something about being radical you know there's a lot of talk about radical Islam and extremist Islam and this sort of thing and he made he made a very good point which I found funny and that was his intention too he was talking about yes I'm a radical yes I'm extreme I'm extremely uh virtuous I'm extremely honest I'm extremely you know like just talking about that and when I was talking with you I forget what it was you said in this interview but it reminded me of Zakir Naik when he said yes I'm going to embrace the label of radical extremist because God is everything I love him I serve him you know virtue the virtues and all these sorts of things so uh I I like that and I do I do have a sort of broad uh view of ecumenism and my brothers and sisters who are wandering around in all kinds of different World Views I mean how many people are there in China or India that don't know Christ yet or haven't been exposed to Christ and you know they're they they love their idea of what God might be or they love at least they love goodness you know or something there's always a common ground right but that extreme that ex that that willingness to embrace the label of being radical or extreme I think you're someone that could sympathize with that um I will embrace the label of I am radically uh following Christ yeah um and I don't think there is another way to follow him uh he asks for all of us yeah like your entire being he says you know if you love your mother father your siblings or your children more than me then yourself or your very self yeah or your very selfies as you know those who love their life will lose it and so I'm a radical in the sense that yes I I will die for Christ uh in the sense that the world wants to Define radical you know I I will you know buck that that label but as in terms of as defined by Christ yes I would say that and and I I'm proud of that because you know that's the point of being here is to find him so uh they're really you know that's winning yeah as far as I'm concerned no I don't want to I don't want like your head to get big or anything but have you influenced people to come to Christ like I know you said your husband's on his way and all this sort of thing but in real life a stranger online or in real life maybe a friend uh where you you understand explicitly that you helped are there uh some examples of that you could talk about or not so much well um so I'm always hesitant to take you know credit for anything that I do I mean because I feel like it's always the Holy Spirit working through us that does anything right but um I hope that God is using me I I pray that you like every like you were mentioning prayer earlier I pray daily that you know please use me for your kingdom please use me to represent you please use me to bring people into your will please align my will with yours um I do hope that I'm helping if not to bring new people to Christ to edify the people who are already here um you know to contend for the faith and and help edify people's Faith where it might be lacking um I do have people in my you know personal life that I pray for and that I'm you know working on but I I can't definitively say I'm the reason anybody came to Christ but I I certainly can confidently say I'm definitely trying to be part of the process um so but yeah I guess I'll never know until that day you know where you're standing at the bema seat but uh I hope I've done something are you surprised at all about because when I converted I thought oh this is it I found it so everyone's gonna see it because I see it now so obviously everyone's gonna see it right like yeah that's frustrating because like when you have eyes to see and someone else doesn't you you feel like you're talking to a brick wall and it's really hard to empathize because you're like how are you not seeing this is it so obvious but then you read back through the Bible and Jesus is like yeah um I'm going to speak in Parables because there's going to be people who cannot hear me you know they will not have ears to hear and he even states that you know when he rides in on that donkey that well from this moment on since you missed my coming you will be blind until the fullness of the Gentile you know um until the day of my visitation so we know that people are supernaturally blinded if they're not following Christ and I think that you know is definitely a point of frustration when you're trying to you know do apologetics because you know people you can say something that's mind-blowing um and they'll just say like that's not impressive I don't see what you're talking about and you're just like oh you know like how do I get through to you and then you have to remember it's not me that's going to get through it's going to be the Holy Spirit and you know there's just that Supernatural aspect that you can't control so you you do the mic drop and they're like excuse me you dropped your microphone yeah you just have to you have to dust off and walk away um and hope that you planted a seed that someone else might water down the road but they're like they're like oh here miss here's your microphone you dropped and they're like they're so sincere they're like they just they really don't get it they just don't get it uh so we touched briefly earlier on the Jews and Romans 11 talks about the full number of the Gentiles coming in and then the Jews will come back to the faith uh it's one of my favorite passages because I've always romanticized the Jews I know that you know a lot of so-called Jews today are just atheists and just baby killers and everything else and we're going to talk about pro-life later but um you know the Jews it's not like I'm naive about the Jews but there's a Certain Romance that I have with the Jews because Jesus is is a Jew and marrying the apostles were Jews and all that and I believe you know what the Bible teaches there the the chosen people and there's there is Biblical history before Abraham and before the Jews certainly but so they're not the be-all and end-all but it's a big part of the story right it's a big part of the story and God is working through the Jews but now we've since the Messiah came like I don't know if are there any Jews listening this is like a heads up spoiler like the Messiah came okay they don't seem to catch on to that I don't know why I don't know how they missed that but anyway um but Romans 11 says that the full number of the Gentiles come in and then it's time for the Jews to have their eyes opened does that excite you the way it excites me oh yeah um and you can literally watch it occurring for your eyes right now I mean if they're trying to rebuild the Temple they've got the heifers over there they're they're claiming they have a different Messiah so it's like you see the prophecy really moving right now and um Israel has a prophetic Destiny and God's not done with them and uh you know the whole purpose of Revelation after you know chapter two and three you're done the whole purpose of Revelation is for the Jews to call out to Jesus for Rescue and that's when he's going to come back and so we're all waiting for that moment and then in that way it's like we're all rooting for Israel right because that's where it's going to happen and it's going to be a certain group of the people in Israel that are going to go and hide during Revelation just as Jesus instructed them to and they're going to be picked up by Jesus when he comes down after the battle of Armageddon and it's really exciting to see like the stage being set for all that to happen a couple of things first of all the Jews for Jesus like they kind of they kind of want to have the best of both worlds or maybe they like are in love with their Judaism but they also found that Jesus is the Messiah so I'm not exactly sure what's going on with a lot of these Messianic Jews that accept Jesus as the Messiah like how are they like fully Christian or not I don't know I don't know I can't read the heart certainly but I haven't even read books about what they actually believe but um it's sort of a strange phenomenon so I'd like you to touch on that and then I want you to talk about the Antichrist and uh how close you might you think we might be right now um so Messianic Judaism I mean I see I see that as a sign of where we're at because as the fullness of the Gentiles is coming in Slowly by slowly more Jewish people are opening their eyes to who the Messiah really was and the fact that that's happening at all I think is a a marker on our timeline I mean just Israel becoming a nation was a marker on the timeline and then Jews opening their eyes and more and more of them accepting Christ uh is another marker it means their eyes are starting to open because we're getting around that time where um you know a third of them are going to realize who he is by the end of the tribulation so um I mean I I think it's a good sign as far as I can tell um I I haven't really studied their beliefs I don't know if they're still under the law or how that works you know I would probably not probably not yeah so I'd I don't know if they're just you know kind of practicing the same way you know Paul and John and Peter and then practiced or I'm just I'm I'm excited to see it because I think that says that we're on the right path and we're almost there you said you're in Alabama yes probably not too many Jews there like one percent two percent of the population are less not any that I know of none that you know of yeah I mean I'm sure there are nobody you you know I'm in Montreal Quebec Canada did you know that uh yes you did mention that so we've got a lot of Jews a lot of Jews here a lot of Jews do you find that there's they're starting to open their eyes to no reality around us or not really no no no no no no no they're uh the Jews that I see on the streets are Hasidic Jews they're ultra-orthodox Jews it's a closed community they're very friendly nice people I like them but they're very closed okay and they've got their own Community it's a very close community and they will talk to you like I stopped a young man in the store the other day it was he's got the curly things and the hat and the whole outfit and I said hey my friend wants to be Jewish he wants to convert like what does he have to do because he's right now he's an atheist but he's he wants to be Christian but he doesn't believe in Christ or in the Incarnation or the trinity he said I'll just maybe I'll become a Jew so I asked this Jew and we had a conversation about Jesus after you know after we had our introductory conversation I asked him about Jesus and Christianity and uh he was quite baffled he had never been exposed never been exposed to the arguments I was bringing and they were just very simple arguments like you know he he thought he had a Zinger on me he's like well let me ask you a question he said which one came first Judaism or Christianity and I said well obviously Judaism he's aha I got you it's it's the real religion and I said well yeah but what is the point of Judaism right what is the point what were they prophesying what were they anticipating the Messiah Judaism is about the Messiah the coming Messiah the coming Messiah guess what Judaism is all about the Christ it's all about Christianity that's what that's what Judaism Judaism is serving Christianity and he had never heard that before so he just he just uh I left him and he went away and he'll chew on that yeah there's so many stories in the Old Testament that don't make sense until you have the New Testament to fulfill it you know like the the the snake on the pole in numbers you know the brass snake that Moses made it's like why would looking on a snake on a pole cure a snake bite well it's Jesus that gives the answer to that in John where he says as the snake was raised in the wilderness so must the son of man be lifted up and that right there makes that makes sense whereas before it was just like okay a snake on a pole what was the point of that you know the Old Testament with his arms Moses with his arms out yeah I mean the Old Testament is incomplete without the New Testament I mean what do we really believe that the blood of animals cover sins or was that pointing to something greater right so a lot of it doesn't make sense until you add the New Testament and then it's complete so yeah well I think about the priesthood a lot obviously I'm Catholic so I have I have a priesthood and I think about that a lot and there is of course there you know you belong also to the priesthood of Christ and your priest prophet and King just like Christ is uh to the extent that you're a Christian too so I mean uh and uh you're probably a better Christian than I am for sure but um you know we all have that Dignity of being Christ because that's what Christianity which Christians are we're supposed to be like it's no longer I who live but Christ who lives in me right so we kill the old man or the old woman and uh it's Christ who lives in us and so we have those that threefold Dignity of priest prophet and King and uh so the priesthood is very much alive even if you don't uh buy into the specific teachings of uh the of Catholicism but uh I think often I think about the priesthood in Judaism and uh I'm really shocked and surprised that the Jews aren't asking questions about like that why Where's the temple where are the priests where are the sacrifices and I haven't read about the talmudic path that developed out of that I've heard some dark stuff about it that it's really not it's not pretty and it's ugly and there's a lot of nasty stuff in the tell mode in the different commentaries on Judaism rabbinic Judaism but I haven't looked into it um but if I were a Jew I would be asking like where is the Messiah where's the priesthood where are the sacrifices what's going on and admittedly I should look I should look more into Judaism before I criticize it but intuitively it seems to me that uh there's some unanswered questions that are begging to be asked no yeah my understanding is right now they have no answer for sin they they only they can only try to balance sin with good works there's no sacrifice system there's no method for forgiveness and that's kind of a key point you know that was a key point to their religion before when they had a Temple and so yeah that's that's a big problem they're facing right now it's heavy that's very heavy yes works I mean uh you know we could discuss Faith versus works but I mean grace if we want to take the common ground which is Grace everything is Grace and uh you certainly can't work your way to heaven that's for sure and you can't compensate for the the injury that was done to God to God's dignity infinite dignity with any amount of works so yeah I mean this is another thing about Christianity I did not want to believe in Christianity but I was compelled to believe in Christianity because for many many reasons one of them being just the grace of faith that was given to me that you received at age eight you told me but there are many many other things like for example the Incarnation how that creates a bridge between the infinite and the finite between you know the wise the infinitely wise and the infinitely silly being myself so um you know that bridge I I could not I could not be a Jew or a Muslim just because I really value the continuity the the humility of God to take on flesh and to become like us in all things but sin uh how can you live without that how can you live without that even without knowing anything else about Jesus uh his character his love for us and all that sort of thing just the philosophical Bridge how could he live without that I just don't understand like having a completely Transcendent God uh uh it's it's sad isn't it yeah well you're not living without it you're walking dead um you're not alive until you're born again and uh that's why they say you know the the gospel is foolish to those who are perishing because they are dead in their sins and until you have Christ you are dead and uh I mean like I said that before and after that delineation you can see the difference between someone who is alive in Christ and someone who is dead in their sin you know just the blindness the selfishness the you know the meaninglessness of the existence until you find him is is apparent and I think we see that even just looking around today um people don't have meaning this nihilism that's pervading our culture and you know people are trying to fill it with materialism and sex and and everything but Jesus and that's why it's not working right awesome absolutely so I I don't want to end on a dark note but you didn't really you didn't really talk to me about the Antichrist and our times other than to say I think I think you hinted at the fact that we seem to be close yes but uh I've read the Old Testament it was pretty dark uh in the New Testament times it was pretty dark medieval times it was pretty dark and today is pretty dark is it is it really is it really worse today or is it just because we get to see it up close and personal I'm glad you asked that because there are a few two things that we have that that they those times didn't have obviously Israel's back in their land so that's our first clue um we there's a huge Watchman Community out there and they saw the Revelation 12 sign in 2017. um you've got the ability to have kind of a One World Government like described in Revelation where all of the kingdoms are going to reunite in like an Empire because if you read Daniel and you read uh Revelation it kind of hints that the Roman Empire is going to kind of re-emerge like so it's it's going to be you know in a different form obviously but it's going to be another world Empire that has to exist during the time of the Antichrist to make him effective and um so I think now that you know we've got things like NAFTA and we're trying to conglomerate our money and and all of these things and we have the technology to communicate across oceans that we have the capability for the prophecy to play out now that that wasn't there before you know because you didn't have Israel in the land you didn't have the technology for all of you know the world to witness to two people dying in Jerusalem and then being resurrected like the two witnesses right like now we have CNN where everyone will be able to see that which is what the Bible says will happen it says they will die and resurrect in front of the whole world and that would be impossible until now so there's so many little details um that we see occurring all around us that are fulfilling prophecies in ways that were only hinted at before I mean yes times have been dark here on Earth because it's not because the world belongs to Satan so it's been dark you know since you know the fall but we really can see that prophecy starting to come together I think and I think we're close I I'm not going to put dates but I think we're close and I think I think the Antichrist is alive right now I think he's some I don't think he still has yet to be born I don't think we're that far away wow wow yeah that's very intense so um you know one of the benefits that I always talk about I emphasize because it is it is rare it is rare exceedingly rare in the Catholic church to be young Earth creationist and to take Genesis literally and to believe that the entire universe is less than ten thousand years old I think it's around seven thousand years old it's extremely rare um so I do tend to talk about it and emphasize it for my Catholic listeners and even you know among the Protestants or non-catholic Christians I don't know what the percentages are but probably 50 50 or maybe even less that believe in in creationism I don't know but I'd like to emphasize one of the things I'd like to emphasize is our proximity in time in the history of Salvation to the fall and to Paradise before we lost Paradise right that proximity is a gift right it's it's it removes a lot of the scales from our eyes and the veil and the mist of time and it gives a certain urgency to repentance because I'm just not one you know I'm not just one monkey among billions that evolved over millions of years right I don't have that cheap excuse to just hide in the bushes and I always think about Adam and Eve hiding in the bushes I love that scene and I love placing myself in the bushes with Adam and Eve hiding from God how silly is that thinking that they're not and if that was possible and uh you know when you're a child and you do something wrong and mommy or daddy catches you and you don't want to lie but the lie just comes out you know I can understand I can understand our first parents how they would make excuses and I mean I do it now I'm an adult I do that okay if I'm confronted I'll just something is going to come out right that's not true right usually unless I'm really in control of my emotions I'm just gonna like my pride will well up and I'll just cover for myself right so I think about Adam and Eve and I have a lot of sympathy for them obviously and I kind of retroactively want them to do better like it's too late now but whatever but that proximity in time to uh the garden and the fall it's powerful isn't it have you experienced that yeah I mean I the way I view this is you know God before he set out to create Adam I think he knew everything of course you know I think he knew what Adam was going to do I think he knew what all of us were going to do I think he knew each of us individually in his heart before he ever created any of us and um so the fact that's comforting to me because it's a sad thought like when you read the part in Genesis where it said and God lamented his creation when everything was so evil right before the flood right that's a sad thing to read but it's comforting um when you look at it from the perspective of like yeah he did know also that he was going to lament that but he did it anyway and so I'm here by his intent like he wanted me to be here and he want you know he wanted Adam to be there and he had this plan to bring us back to himself despite the fall like he had a plan and he implemented that plan despite despite us because we get in the way of it all the time right and he works around he just keeps moving forward and I think it's a testament to how awesome that he is that he can create or bring with a being with free will that can totally destroy everything and then he can fix it even using our own mistakes and that's really who he is that's why the Bible is a love story and that's what I'm always trying to get across to people is the Bible is a love story about your father who just wants you to come home and he wrote it to you and it's not this dark thing that people try to make it and I I just that's what I'm doing is like I'm trying to get that across to people because it saved me and it saved millions of people and there's so many more to be saved and that's really the point right it's amazing it's amazing uh not to make fun of the evolutionists but I just it occurred to me the other day it occurred to me the other day like with the whole ecology thing global warming it used to be called now it's climate change like any change is bad whatever um and then when you pair that with their evolution Theory it doesn't make sense like you could pick one like you want to believe in evolution or do you want to believe in like that I I need to recycle my batteries or the Earth is going to explode because you know the the story if you look at the story of evolution as they believe it it is absolutely incredible meaning that it's not worthy of belief but also meaning just like Fantastical because of the you know the amount of death and suffering and like the the recent thing that I'm obsessed with is the asteroid that allegedly hit the earth and killed the dinosaurs and all that sort of nonsense they said they say that it's a billion it's the energy of a billion nuclear bombs that asteroid when it struck the Earth but everyone's got their panties up and are not worried about Ukraine Russia nuclear war and all this sort of thing if I believed in evolution I wouldn't be worried about that it's just like what a couple of nuclear bombs like so what like okay I didn't recycle my plastic so what it's like the story of evolution is just like you have all this time and apparently the the universe is just going to continue doing its thing and like what are you worried about because life can come from non-life like what literally what are you worried about what if you believe in evolution what are you worried about but we know as Christians we know what they're worried about they're worried that God is real judgment is real hell is real maybe talk a little bit about uh the atheist fear of hell so I have this argument a lot and a lot something I like to bring up is you know you spend a lot of time talking about something you claim not to believe in now I don't know about you but I don't believe in Bigfoot or Santa and I spend no time talking about them let alone arguing about them so I've always found it kind of you know an interesting Paradox or an interesting irony that an atheist will spend hours arguing with me about the existence of something they claim not to believe in and like you said I think that's an indication that there's this fear in them that it is real and I mean and I know it's there because I mean Romans tells us it's there right that everybody knows that God is real they're just they're either suppressing that truth or they're acknowledging it there's no you know there's nobody that really doesn't believe in God um I uh they have no answer like their their own worldview is self-defeating because if atheism is real how can they trust their own rationale right and why would they be rational beings if atheism is real they're just evolved bags of chemicals I mean you can't trust that Stardust that turned into life that turned into a thinking being is rational how could you trust that you know with nothing guiding its development other than its own Survival I mean why would that be rational oh but now we have transhumanism so it's all good we we got this we got this okay yeah and it's trust the experts trust the science trust it it's it's self-defeating because it's like well I can't trust your thoughts if you're just an evolved bag of chemicals so I don't know why you want me to take you seriously by the same token morality it's like they'll say the god of the Bible is immoral it's like okay well then by whose standard your opinion I mean if God is not real morality doesn't exist on any level except individual opinion and that I think we all can feel that morality has more of a weight than just you know I like the color blue right like it's wrong to kill people has more weight than I like blue but they're trying to say that that's all morality is you know it's not just an opinion clearly there's a standard in what is good and that standard has to be outside of humanity it's objective and it has to be God there's no other candidate for what is good except God well the thing the thing the bottom line really is I always say is there any difference whatsoever between the best case scenario and the worst case scenario for any human in your worldview period if there's no difference if we're all just gonna die and be annihilated and be food for the flowers we all have the same outcome so it literally doesn't matter what you do it doesn't matter there's no morality there's no morality it's just might makes right like I don't hey I want to have tomato soup no I don't like tomatoes I want to have broccoli soup I don't like broccoli well who's going to win because I mean like I mean it's just a practical thing like everyone's fighting for what they want right and like okay well I'm gonna give in and I'm gonna get diarrhea because I'm gonna eat what my wife wants to eat because I want to make her happy okay go for it who cares so what enjoy that if that's what you enjoy it's just like you said do what that will shall be the whole of the law period that's it yeah that's that'd be and I mean and you see why that appear there's no meaning in that and I think that's why you know we're seeing what we're seeing today is you know this this nihilism and this depression the mental health in our society is so you know low because nobody has the meaning that God brings you know into our existence and the the structure yeah being gay being trans all that sort of thing uh it's hyped up like it's gonna make you free it's going to make you satisfied you're going to be fulfilled and we know from people that repent that uh they're being honest with us and saying I was fooled and I made a mistake and uh you know now I've found God and religion and Jesus Christ and it's better right and the other side is saying how dare you betray your in-group your protected class like we were we had your back now you're turning on us like it's just like there it's sad it's sad to watch like I knew it I see it as struggling to find an identity like they want to identify as something and and most and Christians our identity is Christ and so we don't have that struggle but it's like they if they're rejecting Christ what is their identity who am I what why am I here what's my purpose and so they find these little groups these little subcultures and I think it fills the void for a while but it always comes crumbling down because it's not a rock Foundation right it's sand so we have to pray for these people yeah with your I'm going to wrap it up and let you go here but I just wanted to get a sense of your prayer life you touch briefly on your prayer life and how you pray for those around you and um so that sounds like petition let God please help this person or that person or help me or whatever that's what we call petition there's also uh Thanksgiving uh I want you to talk about that there's also praise and glorification of God blessing God and then there's also um sorrow for sin repentance these sorts of things uh and so I think those are some of the main categories could you just sort of touch briefly on what do you emphasize and which sorts of prayers do you enjoy the most because maybe maybe petition is very pragmatic but it might not be your favorite kind of Prayer no my my favorite kind of prayer is the kind of the Adoration the worship I mean if you read the letter to Ephesus one of God's gripes with them or Jesus's gripes with them is that they lost their first love so they're following you know the law and they're in their you know spreading the gospel and they're so busy on the business of the king they're forgetting the king you know they're ignoring him and Jesus I think first and foremost he wants that devotional prayer that that time that intimate time where we're just admiring him and loving him and you know being open with him and just adoring him for what who he is and what he's done for us and I mean that kind of bleeds into Thanksgiving prayer but um but not even just being thankful so much is just like wow You're great and and just that adoration that love that you know that's what really kind of marks off the difference because we know in the scripture that Jesus has levels of relationship with his disciples he had 12 that were following him and then he had three in an inner circle and then he had one beloved disciple John and I like to tell people like one of my prayers is like I want to be beloved like I and I feel like the difference between John and the others was John was I mean they're all loved by Jesus and I don't mean to make it sound like he you know picks and chooses favorites but you become beloved when you know him the way he knows you or at least you're attempting to know him the way he knows you to your you know because obviously we have limits but you know another disciples or another person in the Bible was also described as beloved and that's Daniel and we see how Daniel was so devoted in his prayer life and he spent that time in devotional prayer and um and we see the way John was devoted to Jesus and I so I think that prayer where you just sit in his presence and you adore him without asking for anything or bringing up the world or petitioning but you're just adoring him I think that's the most important the most you know relationship building prayer that we can have you know the Incarnation started with a zygote in the womb of the Blessed Virgin Mary it's a single cell and the Holy Spirit is the spouse of Mary that's how we see it in the Catholic Church anyway I don't know how you see it but um it's such an intimate relationship that Mary had with God the Father God the Son of God the Holy Spirit um but my point here is that single cell that zygote that is the god man it's a person and abortion is directed at Jesus Christ first and foremost it's not really Johnny it's not little Betty it's Jesus Christ in the womb that's the target okay every time and if you kill an if you kill an adult the main target is Jesus Christ too right but my point is that Jesus Christ went through the early stages of human development and then he was born and he lived as a child adolescent adult and 33 or so he did his passion and death for us um so I want to talk about your mystical connection with Jesus in prayer are you only focused on 33 year old Jesus or do you sometimes allow yourself to think about Jesus in the temple and Jesus as a child in the workshop of Joseph and Jesus in the womb do you think about that in your prayer life specifically um I focus on Jesus and the way I picture him in my mind is like bearing the scars of what he did um for us because that's my understanding Resurrection it's scarce okay yeah the resurrected Christ um I enjoy the stories of his you know childhood and his you know journey to his ministry um but yeah when I when I'm picturing him and I'm praying I'm seeing you know the resurrected Christ with the scars in his hands and his beard ripped off his face and his you know crown of thorns and all of that it's I because that's that's what he looks like now and and my understanding is he's going to Bear those scars into eternity um the scars that we get through martyrdom and the scars that he took he took them on for eternity not just temporary so um so yeah I see him that way definitely when I'm when I'm envisioning him in my prayer time I got a nice uh I don't know how you feel about crucifixes but I got a nice one uh for seven dollars this is like heavy heavy nice crucifix I just keep it on my desk beside me now but um you prefer the empty Cross or are you okay with the crucifix um I I only wear empty crosses but I understand that Catholic Church you know they have the one that still has Christ on it um I I've seen people wearing it I I don't know I I've been told you know the empty cross is like you know Christ resurrected whereas Christ you know crucified is like you know kind of a darker way to look at it I don't but I'm not I'm not dogmatic about it I guess yeah yeah that makes sense yeah yeah I I respect your uh your position no matter what it is even if you tell me that I'm gonna go to hell because I have a crucifix whatever whatever your perspective is just be honest with me but uh no we we do meditate on the the sufferings of Christ and I think it's I think it's very well it's I know that it's one of the most valuable parts of of my walk with God is the Suffering The Suffering is real like God took on flesh and he didn't have to do that he took on flesh and he suffered and the suffering was real and the Suffering The identification with my little sufferings and my future bigger sufferings which are coming inevitably uh that identification is emboldening me and uh it's a motivation to die to self because I know how weak I am like this is part of my journey is discovering just how weak I am and how strong God is and then to just say okay you take the wheel you take you take control that's what it's about relinquishing control it's all about that and I'm not good at it but I know that's the that's the objective you know that that is the objective so how emotional are you uh in your relationship with Jesus because I tend to be emotionless as a man and as a man who's guarded um but you're a woman um so I think you might have more access to your emotions are you very emotional with your relationship with God yeah I kind of have this weird thing where I don't feel like I prayed right if I don't cry so I've never prayed right I've never prayed right I can honestly say that that's just my own my own little yard I think you're right I think you're right um but I also I tend to cry at church service I cry I watch The Chosen so I cry during that I mean I uh I definitely you know I feel but I feel like that's how the Holy Spirit uh kind of touches me you know it causes me to cry and I think other women have said the same thing but then there's other people that feel definitely they feel exhilarated or you know so I don't think it hits everybody the same but I just know for me I'm like oh I definitely you know I I definitely prayed effectively because you know I it brought myself to tears in a way or Jesus brings me tears so yeah what's your ethnic background um Cajun oh Louisiana yeah yeah my uh my mother is from Louisiana and her family is Cajun her parents are Cajun okay so my dad's German I think but you've got like European Roots French German yeah so uh I thought maybe uh some Latina or something like that my husband's Puerto Rican so okay do you know any men that are able to cry nicely uh during prayer no I mean I saw Paul Washer do it in one of his sermons but nobody I know are you comfortable with men who can cry oh yeah yeah it doesn't turn you off no it doesn't bother me if a man is crying for a good reason yeah yeah that's the that's the key Point has to be for a good reason so I hope you'll come back I really appreciate meeting you and uh I hope you'll pray for me and I really hope you'll cry for me cry cry and Jesus arms cry for me and my salvation just cry because I do have uh one of my um goals believe it or not is to learn how to cry I have a I have a thing here here it is I have two cameras going here one for you one for the listeners so all can you see are you able to see the gift of Tears yeah you're able to see that yes so it's a big long prayer and I've been procrastinating but it's one of my many many goals is to memorize that long prayer uh just so that I can um get in the mood to learn how to cry and be in touch with my emotions but my wife used to tickle me as a as a form of therapy this is back when we're both atheists she would tickle me because I'd bottle up my emotions so she'd tickle me and that drives me crazy and I start crying as a way to release uh emotions so they tend to get bottled up I think there are a lot of guys like that today and maybe even some women right oh yeah yeah that's a definite thing you know bottling up and Walling off you know your emotions and I think if anyone can break them down it's Jesus right that's that's kind of what he's there for tearing those those walls down that we build up and you know opening us up cleansing us so he can use us you know we can love people through he can love people through us so you know that's definitely a worthy prayer my uh audience is small but it's made up of a lot of atheist agnostics Protestants and a few Catholics what would you say as a general kind of uh final thought to anyone that might be listening bearing in mind that it's a broad spectrum of World Views what would you say something encouraging and something relevant to your faith should be safe and um so you know don't be discouraged if you hear you know the doctrine of selection and things like that seek Him First and everything else will be given to you and he really is the way and he's you know the path is narrow but it's also easy to find once you put yourself in his hand he'll like lead you down it so he's a gentle gentle God yes thank you for now yes yes yeah hell real and you do not want to go there believe me you do not want to go there uh please give my love to your husband and ask him gently and kindly to come and talk to me about his faith journey I want to hear what he has to say and if he says I'm too shy or I'm too boring or I'm too this or that just say that's exactly what David wants whatever he says whatever he says say that's exactly what David wants okay it's because so thanks for taking the time I really appreciate it I I'm sincerely hoping that you will pray for me in mine okay you and yours remember us absolutely thanks for having me on you too take care bye bye