meda as you know my name is David I am the creator and host of CBS in today's episode of Mehta I want to speak about solipsism and playing hard to get these are two different themes inspired by two different listeners two very different listeners gentleman by the name of John Ravel who reached out to me by email and asked about solipsism and a gentleman in the making who goes by the name of Robert white and who I have affectionately dubbed little Bobby because I've grown so fond of him he's been very active on that podcast on the YouTube channel with his comments lots of questions and to be sure lots of colorful comments from little Bobby so if you haven't listened to his episode yet go ahead and check that out but be warned it is very silly and there is some foul language surprise surprise so check that out it's Catholic versus atheist Robert white and it's in absentia it's my first ever in absentia interview it's an air SATs interview meaning that it is a cheap substitute for what should have been and interview a real interview with a real subject but it is what it is it's silly it's trite it's a waste of time I admit it openly and publicly but if you have some time to waste go and listen to it it's a lot of fun or at least it was for me now onto the episode at hand this meta episode I want to talk first of all about solipsism John Ravel as I said sent me an email he was confused about my solipsism why I attributed to the god of solipsism ie myself certain attributes and why there was this other option of the specific monotheistic god of classical theism so I have to first and foremost admit that there is a deep deep mystery at the heart of this question and it's the same mystery that's at the heart of every question and that's at the heart of every genuine answer namely God Almighty solipsism is a false worldview is a very helpful worldview it is the gateway religion par excellence but it is eminently false and it's about as wrong as you can get and that's why I consider it a shortcut a very useful shortcut to so how to begin talking about the attributes of the solipsistic God ie the attributes of myself when I believed that only I existed that my body was an illusion the world was an illusion the other was an illusion what attributes did I give myself well I gave myself omniscience I gave myself omnipotence I gave myself omnipresence I gave myself in short all of the infinite perfections of the god of monotheism of course I had to tell myself that I was in a game a self-imposed game of cat and mouse where I am both cat and mouse this is the psychological mechanism that allows one to be a true hard solipsist this is a necessary component of that game of that lie of solipsism is to say well obviously this video game world that I've created has its limitations but once I step out of the world according to the grand plan that I implemented before I put myself into this world I will see how and why all of the mechanism are in place to maximize my entertainment value in this great illusion so having fooled myself into thinking that I am a God who has fooled himself I was able to attribute all of the perfections or apprehend these perfections of mine through the video game through the illusion through the Maya and so when I reflected upon my deity I attributed to myself all of the infinite perfections and yet I did not consider myself to be a circle I considered myself to be the source of circles the source of circularity I could hold in my mind the perfect idea of circle and that because I am God that is the source of the reality of the circle it's a very platonic notion it's also a very neo platonic notion and furthermore it's a very Catholic notion the reality of anything is due to the fact that it is held in the mind of God and it is expressed in the supernatural world of the mind and ideas and or in the purely natural world of material things natural causation science and so on and so forth so it's really not hard to reconcile the false god of solipsism and the one true God the God of Abraham Isaac and Jacob the god of the Jews the Christians and the Muslims even now there may be people walking around on God's green earth thinking that they are the God of solipsism it's sad it's funny it's silly and it's wonderful because I think it is the fastest route to true religion I always encourage atheists to go deep into their atheism because that is a shortcut go deep don't be mediocre the word mediocre by the way means halfway up the stony mountain go up the mountain or go down to the base of the mountain being halfway up the Stony Mountain is mediocrity that's the very meaning of mediocrity climb climb to the heights or descend descend to the base my method was to descend I didn't ascend I descended into atheism at age 14 I dabbled in mediocrity for 25 years and then from there from the middle of the stony mountain I decided to descend further so I went into my atheism and I found determinism there is no free will there is no morality and I wanted to mock and ridicule Christianity so a theistic satanism was the place for me lots of fun lots of theater and it catered to my huge ego once you're into her determinism and you start doubting everything heard solipsism is not that far away and that's why I encourage all a theists to admit that their hard determinists from there it's a short step to hurt solipsism and then from there it is a really lightning-fast journey into the arms of your loving Saviour so I went from hurt solipsism to generic monotheism meaning that I believe in that God the one true God of monotheism I don't know if I can convey this in strong enough terms I did not care which of the three monotheistic religions was the one true religion that concern is secondary the first concern is to worship this God that I had discovered if you haven't felt this direct overwhelming compulsion then you have no idea what I'm talking about you may as well put a straitjacket on me but once you experience it then you will be my brother you will be united with me in the love of the one true God it's that simple there's an old saying that for those that do believe no explanation is necessary and for those who do not yet believe no explanation is sufficient I have experienced this firsthand I had just awoken from my heart solipsism nightmare into monotheism and I can assure you that my attitude towards explanations changed explanations were now icing on the cake I had the cake and the cake it must be said is not a cake without the icing but it remains the fact that the cake is the point the icing is wonderful it's tasty it's it's an essential component but it is not the essential component what does icing do to a cake if the icing is the explanation and the cake is the existence of God the icing actually covers the cake the icing actually masks the cake the icing actually protects the cake the icing keeps the cake moist and healthy and fresh and all the rodents and vermin and pests that are buzzing around outside are prevented from having contact even a visual contact with the cake itself you have to get beyond the icing you have to get beyond that layer of protection and that's what my conversion was I saw the cake and so the icing that I was obsessed with as an anti-catholic militant atheist before I became a hurts all obsessed that is I completely switched perspective on the icing I'm seeing the icing from the point of view of the cake and there really are two sides to that icing you can look from the outside and you can question the cake and you can demand thicker icing better icing creamier icing sweeter icing you can talk about the attributes of the icing all day long but until you've experienced the cake it's a barrier to you whereas once you've experienced the cake and you've entered into the cake you still see the icing the icing is there but it doesn't serve the same purpose that you thought explanations served you thought that explanations were the path to truth you thought that explanations could serve as a path to faith but faith is a path to explanations this is what st. Anselm said in the 11th and 12th centuries it is such a subtle and radical distinction that atheists have no idea what I'm talking about if they did then they would stop looking at explanations as a gateway to faith it is as st. Anselm said faith seeking understanding this is the motto that helped science get off the ground to begin with because we live in a well-ordered universe so all of this to say that I could have cared less if I were a Jew a Christian or a Muslim in that moment when I went in a heartbeat from heart solipsism where I was God to a monotheists where I submitted to the one true God my first instinct obviously since I come out of an anti-catholic mindset my first instinct was to be Muslim simply because it's simple there's no Trinity and yet once again the cake within the cake the triune God now as a sort of three layer cake I saw a need for explanations for the Trinity and lo and behold rather than discovering explanations of the Trinity as a way into the faith I was given faith and then the icing on the cake was seen from within the explanations were seen has not a proof that would draw me into faith in the Trinity but rather once I had the faith in the Trinity then the explanations were icing on the cake so thanks to st. Agustin I fell in love with the triune God the true god of monotheism who is Father Son and Holy Ghost and I am today Catholic by the grace of God so in terms of a love story we can see in my own life an example of how we humans play hard-to-get and God loved us into existence and we turn our backs on him this is the classic tale watch any Hollywood romantic film not pornography but a romantic film about love stories and you'll see the classic tension where the girl plays hard-to-get she will sometimes act very irrational and I was no different I avoided God I didn't return his calls I blocked him i unfriended him on facebook i mocked and ridiculed him the amount of pain and anguish that I caused in the heart the physical beating bloody heart of Jesus Christ my lover is regrettable and what's wonderful and magnificent is that we're able to be healed by his wounds we can be healed by the wounds of our wounded lover the lover that was spurned by us I think you can see in my story how I spurned my lover I think you can see how I played hard-to-get and if you listened to Robert whites in absentia interview you'll see how he now is playing hard-to-get he is giving us the dark moment the black moment where it all seems lost I don't see how the hero is going to win his bride how is he going to overcome the insurmountable odds and turn this around it seems from all appearances that little Bobby does not want to be seduced well I think one image that might be useful here is to think about the dating game there have been many incarnations of the show there's a new one now we can imagine three women sitting on stools who are eligible for the bachelor who is standing behind curtain unseen they can hear his voice and they can communicate across the curtain through the intercession of the game show host there is one slight modification that we'll need to make to make the analogy a little bit more appropriate and that would be that God wants to date all three and not only does he want to date all three but ultimately the objective is to marry all three of us and we are all three supposed to be united into one so that when one man and one woman become one flesh all four of us will be one one of the infinite perfections of God is unity and so this unity is one of the ultimate goals as are all the other infinite perfections perfect joy perfect bliss perfect happiness perfect union perfect beauty perfect justice perfect health and all the rest so if we bear in mind that the three ladies sitting on the stools are ultimately destined to be united as one amongst themselves and with their lover behind the curtain if we bear that in mind we can move forward with this analogy and we can ask ourselves as I sit on my stool being seduced by the man behind the curtain am I being polite am I being cooperative am i speaking when spoken to am i sitting properly with my lightness folded neatly and my hands on my lap and my posture is straight and erect and I'm paying attention and I'm listening or am I being drunk and rude and pointing out flaws in the cheap decor of the setting and the bad lighting and how it hurts my eyes and how uncomfortable the stool is and how I don't think there's a man behind the curtain to begin with and that I think it's all faked and I don't believe that he will even take me on a date much less marry me much less support me and give me all the wonderful things that he's promised and I don't like these idiots beside me on the other two stools who are acting like naive children believing all this nonsense and why are they sitting up so straight and acting so attentive when they've never even met this man and how foolish are these people and can you get me out of here and where is the exit and what's my paycheck gonna be like for this waste of time and I've got better things to do and on and on and on so which rule do you want to play in the dating game Robert wait if you're listening to this I want you to think about it are you on your best behavior or are you kicking up a fuss think about it this is reality you are being seduced the way to happiness is to allow yourself to be seduced by the king that's the way to happiness if you want to say that that's mercenary that ah there's something in it for you so you want to be seduced by the king because he's rich that's mercenary that's selfish well it turns out that the king is not stupid you cannot be a mercenary and go to heaven you cannot be a fearful slave of God and go to heaven you can only get to heaven by the middle way which is the way a filial love that means that you are a child of God and you recognize that you're a child of God and you appreciate the gifts that God has given you and all of the gifts that God gives you are identical they're all one they are all identical with God himself so if you break one of the commandments you've broken all of the Commandments and if you open one of the gifts of God you've opened all of the gifts of God and if you've opened all of the gifts of God then you will be self giving and long-suffering and sacrificial in your love this is essential to understand if you're an atheist and you don't understand why people are suffering for God it's because that's what God is so if we think about this cake analogy in the context of this dating game analogy we can think about explanations once again the explanation is not a way to of the explanation is not a way to courtship the explanation is not a way to seduction the seduction and the courtship and the love and the self giving come first and then the curtain is drawn and then you experience what it's like living with the king in his mansion and then you understand by direct experience what it means to be loved and what it means to be one what it means to be one with all of those who have United themselves in love and in marriage to this great king you don't ask the king what is the kitchen like at your mansion what is your dental plan when I move in with you in your mansion you don't ask any of that you sit on your stool politely and you charm him with your grace and your poise and your dignity which he's given you when he crowns your beauty and your humility he is crowning his own gift which he gave you all your beauty all your intelligence all your charm is a gift from the king on the other side of that curtain if you're able to acknowledge the gifts then you will put into practice the gifts the theological virtues and all the supernatural virtues and you'll be loving and self giving and so the argument that the other girls are mercenary by playing along because they want to get what they want to get is a logical impossibility they are only partaking of the gifts that the King has bestowed on them and they don't claim to have any merit for any of the gifts that were given to them by this king and the use of the gift of love is a self-evident manifested truth and reality that is undeniable and that no one can deny because it is a self giving that involves sacrifice and patience long-suffering and the endurance of pain even unto death so there is built into submission and antidote to the mercenary tactic if you're asking for explanations you've probably already missed the point if you haven't tasted the cake if you haven't entered into the cake then the icing for you is always going to be a barrier you need to enter into the cake how do you enter into the cake by shifting your emphasis from a demand for explanations to an appreciation for the gifts and then to turn your eyes from the gifts to the gift-giver and then to give yourself to the gift giver and to become one with him and to become one with the communion of saints who are all one with God so that's it for solipsism and playing hard-to-get if you are playing hard-to-get take a moment to think about what you're doing check your posture check your body language speak when spoken to mind your manners stop demanding stop complaining and just thank God thank God for everything because everything that you have you have received so that's it take care we'll talk soon god bless care we'll talk soon god bless