CVS Live Guest - 2022-05-10 - Nikola and Aidan

Author Streamed Tuesday May 10th, 2022


Some other top-tier All-Stars couldn't make it, but Aidan and Nikola showed up and we had a whale of a time in the group chat. Looking forward to doing it again. God is good.


CVS Live Guest - 2022-05-10 - Nikola and Aidan

Author Streamed February 24th, 2021

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video

transcript
These YouTube transcripts are generated automatically and are therefore unformatted and replete with errors.
so i am live i'm here all by my lonesome and we're going to see if anyone shows up it's supposed to be a group chat between myself aiden lisney and nicola krisik so we'll see i'll share the link right in the chat does this work right in the uh live chat so we'll see it's like herding cats trying to get these people uh together because i don't think the time zone thing is a big big issue but it's just uh schedules getting the schedules to match up but it is 9 00 p.m they both said they're in i know uh what it's like on a weekday evening things happen so they may or may not show up we'll see right now i'll just chit chat to kill the time i'm excited i'm very excited to be working on the archives the archives of cvs i've got some pre-recorded audio only episodes i think you've seen on my website i've published some of them um i'm working on right now i'm working on kieran kieran part two so maybe i'll show you how can i do this can i do this maybe i'll show you makes it easier if i just show you so you can see karen park sorry aiden part one aiden lisney part one down here that was recorded on june 23 2019 and oh lo and behold hey speaking of speak of the devil i was just talking about you we're actually live already no way um who's joining who's who's in nicola oh that's awesome supposed to be but uh did you get my do you check your emails regularly or yeah it did um did you get my most recent email i guess he did because there's a link in it right yeah it just said group chat click link right yeah yeah yeah yeah but there was one just before that i don't know if i included you in it where uh nicola is like oh nobody likes me and it's not happening and whatever i'm like no aidan's in i mean i'm in nathan's in what are we chop liver i mean you need kieran what do you need is he the cool ultimate cool kid kieran and who's the other one oh well matthew murdock that would be cool but he always comes back like two days later oh i just got the invitation if you have his phone number text him right now live okay hold on wait where's nicola uh well that's the thing he's like he's like oh no one likes me but uh i emailed him i said no we're we're in we're doing this um so let's see well the first email said i think i couldn't see who is sending emails because he doesn't he doesn't know how to hit reply to all so he always replies to me maybe i did that i don't think you did that by the way is this centered appropriately because you're always supporting me you could scoot towards me a tiny bit wait can you see me on your screen yeah i can see your can you see me are we sideways are we side by each on your no i see like a big if you see a big david and a small ayden oh okay so you can move to your uh left live chat you're left sorry i was texting matt murdock yep yeah baby guess what guess what i was doing just before we met here on this live chat i don't want to guess [Laughter] i was editing aiden lisney part two from 2019 you have a part two pre-recorded audio only interview that i never published and i'm oh i've never edited it it's just sitting there with a whole bunch of other archives holy cow it's like i was so excited to discover that i was gonna go in and do a matthew murdock episode because i know i've got a bunch of his but i'm like hey what else have i called they sell i said what else have i got in here and it's like holy cow i got an aiden lizzy like that's funny dude i didn't i mean we've talked so many times that it's like i don't realize it there i guess it makes sense that there's like enough times that it would be archived but and it's good it's good it's exciting it's like yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah this is about when you're on fire for your faith like you really believed and i'm just kidding but but no but i i was in a much better place like that's the that's the embarrassing thing it's like i really went downhill uh uh christmas of uh 2019 and we all didn't want to say anything to you we're like ah uh we call you lukewarm david when we're referring to you it's horrible it's horrible just i went through such a rough time but i'm coming back i'm coming back who's on your shirt it's the comeback these are some rock band i have no idea the reason i like this shirt is it doesn't look good but it is extremely thin and lightweight and it is long so i love it's not so much that i love tucking my shirts in but i hate not being able to tuck my shirt in i hate when you tuck a shirt in and then part of it like part of it gets untucked and your belly is exposed first world problems yeah definitely dude but i didn't picture you as the type that would like to tuck their shirt in anyway i feel like you'd be like a t-shirt jeans my shirt my shirt is not tucked in right now because okay because you're not wearing pants i don't have to take i don't have to tuck my shirt in but i have to have the option of tucking it in you understand so i have to be able to tuck it in like when i sleep at night i wear uh pajamas well i'm actually not wearing pajamas and i'm wearing shorts because it's actually hot here for the first time yeah but anyway quick what's hot for you what's what is hot right now 60 degrees it's like 65. uh let me see weather.com right now it's 20 but it feels like 30. so celsius celsius okay okay 68 feels like yeah what's the real feel the real feel is only the i don't know but um yeah okay today it got up to uh 30 for realsies like it was up to 30 i think if i'm reading this correctly what is 30 degrees is that like one like close to 100 fahrenheit i lied no i didn't didn't today it only got up to 24. uh let's ch check 30. hold on c in f that would be 86 is that good 87 yeah that's hot it was around 88 today here i want to say oh yeah yeah it's 73 right now so it was a hot one mowing the lawn do you have oh yeah do you have a nicola crisix phone number that way you can text shoot him a text i don't i don't if i did wait so were you were you chatting with him were you chatting with him and then he just emailed all disappointed that it's not happening i said yeah it is happening buddy let me he's maybe he's chicken [ __ ] he's backing out no i don't know tell him to join because i really i just listened to i just watched your chat with him okay um we could just in the meantime we can kill time and uh you can tell me what you thought of kieran's thing with brenda brenda's interview with me i listened to if you listen to any of it so i listened to like two minutes of brenda's thing yeah um and then i got distracted because like you know um you know easily just easily distracted um as illustrated by that um no but i saw on the sidebar like there was a conversation between brenda and um matt murdock and i'm like oh i wanna check that out and so then i listened to like six or seven minutes of that and then um from there i saw the so bad i saw the illustration that you put for kieran's little thing with the with jesus and the church fathers and that was the church fathers those were the holy innocents that were slaughtered oh is that what that was yeah that's more fitting um he told me karen told me to do that he told me to do that so i can't did he really he said that would be a great image for that yeah that is it it's really good well it pulled me right and also seeing the lisney name i'm just as um you know narcissistic enough to see something that mildly pulls me into it and i'm like oh well that's kind of like me did you like that i put the music yeah i did i did i thought kieran i thought kieran like sent that to you to be honest with you i was like i thought kieran out of the music i didn't even mention it to him i just did it without his position and like because you told me you kind of told me that you'd like to see that everywhere so yeah i want to see that anytime there's a technical difficulty you just put you just put that chant we should put it now like waiting for nicola he hasn't shown up i think that would be very appropriate but yeah just just waiting dead silence and then music well we could like break out our smartphones and just like not look at each other and just do like scrolling and whatever like both of us on the screen well that would be fun that'd be good get a lot of hits for that the kids like that these days they do narrating games as well they can really dude so totally unrelated but not really because it's it's catholic um i watched uh the exorcist today um the original one the original one and uh rachel came in at one point she was watching because it was just the the handsome father uh charis you know he was he was chatting and uh and then all of a sudden close up with linda blair and he was like oh that's disgusting why are you watching this and i'm like it's not that scary she's just like that's that's not why you don't like just don't watch it it's terrible i'm like nah it's good so i watched the the full thing i started it the other day and i finished it today and i was like that wasn't that was actually from what what i've read about it i thought it was a surprisingly sober take on exorcism obviously there were like a couple of things that um like that you read about where you're like okay so obviously the length of time that one that like deliverance ministry takes it's longer and it's like it's more played out like a couple other things were exaggerated but other than that i thought oh that's actually a pretty appropriate um i didn't think it was scandalous to be honest with you i mean people always go to like the whole crucifix um scene where she sexually stabs her junk yeah and they call it the crucifix you know masturbation and i didn't even i'm just like okay it was horribly it was a horrible desecration but it was so violent that there was nothing there was nothing pleasurable pleasurable about it wasn't intimidating it wasn't to no no everybody says it kind of talks about it like it's like horror porn but i didn't get that at all i was like oh this is actually a surprisingly catholic um film that um kids should definitely not see but i thought it um i thought it was uh um from all the books that i've read about exorcism and i've read i've read a couple um and those are usually the only books that i can actually start start and finish um because i you know darkness we love darkness more than than the light but um but i was like oh no that actually seems to be like dead on and it was in my mind kind of a triumph because minus the fact that there wasn't there should have been a little bit more jesus in it but it was it was a triumph in my mind because they had this mainstream success where they had the two hero priests um like they both died but they both died the manliest death ever in service to somebody else and um gave this honest portrayal of um uh you know um demonic attack they didn't show too much weakness uh in the face of the satan and the demons no i didn't well the well the one dude was father karis the the one who flings himself out the window he was definitely not smart in the way that he handled uh the demon but um the one who died of the heart attack the older the older one he was like the experienced exorcist and obviously priests don't go like you know jumping out windows during most exorcisms and most of the time it's the level of danger is not you know on par with that because obviously they had to make it like good for the movies but um but yeah i thought that they handled it well they went in there they faced their fears they showed what true men were they were um chased in the face of sexual obscenity um they were caring they were compassionate there was just something really cool about that about seeing a couple of catholic men um like come in there and you know act in the name of their faith without flinching and then they sold that to a mainstream audience which is like you know how often does that happen i watched it in the 70s i know it was the 70s because i was still living in my childhood house and we moved when i was just turning uh from nine to ten so i know i was uh nine years old or younger and i know uh that it was the seventies um because in 1980 i turned 10. so um it came out probably in the mid to late 70s right but 73 oh yeah okay so it's been a while since i've seen it that's my point that's my only point here so what is so you saw when you were a kid but you haven't seen it as an adult i it i don't think i've seen it as an adult i may have seen it once or just like without paying attention like normally when i watch a movie i can't not pay attention i'm laser focused on if i like it or if i don't like it i'm just laser focused my only solution is to turn it off because i can't not look at it i'm raised on the television so i'm like hypnotized by the television no matter what right so um if i don't like it i just have to shut it off or change the channel or just do something but it can't be on in the room and i can't ignore it um so i may have caught glimpses of it or watched parts of it or whatever but i don't think as an adult that i've watched it partly because it did freak me out as a child like it did freak me out um but i think since converting like 12 years ago i think i must have at least played with the idea of watching it again and now i'm thinking maybe i will watch it again but you should fast forward through the nastier bits maybe i just didn't look directly at stuff like during a certain day because not really there's no nudity there's no puking um yeah no no because she does like stab herself in the vagina with a close effect that's the most disturbing thing yeah and then like makes obscene gestures and says horrible things towards her mom and towards the people around but i mean again it's not um it's not gratuitous yeah it's not like you don't see that and think like oh yeah like my worst fear a couple years ago um during uh we i had to uh what was it i had to um kind of dissect a cat and my teacher was like aidan come over you're gonna break his chest and all i could think was like i hope i don't like this i hope this doesn't lock unlock those cat titties no i mean i didn't you know like some kind of weird just like gee the sound of their bones breaking was great actually i yeah you know what i mean something like that yeah you know but um but no when you when you watch it you're just it's not um not a turn on it's not a turn on though it's it's it's more like you can watch it with a catholic filter and bike you're like oh that's um that's par for the course is she is she uh a good catholic girl in between her uh bouts of disgusting grossness no they're a religious um and that's the interesting that's the interesting thing about it the mom um is an actress um seemingly good family i think they're divorced daughter they even show the origins of it too she like at the beginning of the movie they like a ouija board and they're like hey where'd you find this like oh i found it in the house and she's like showing her mom how to do it she's like yeah new house yeah they're staying in a house because they're acting in a film oh okay and so i think that they're having a house built for them and they're staying in this nice house but they were affluent enough rich enough that they have like people working for them and um so mom and daughter they hired satan to babysit the kid for example basically yeah yeah no no but i mean it always starts out this way and that's the other cool thing is that it's like informative because they pull out a ouija board and she's just like how does that work and she's like oh mr howdy talks to me and uh like shows her mom how how she does it and um and it's just like clearly the lesson is always if you have a ouija board just throw it away like i don't know like but i guess it wasn't a cliche back when that film was made like you know um that you don't that you don't touch a ouija board but i don't know if you've ever seen the shirt in hot topic they have these like awesome like 50s decals of like these kids like um you know how they have like like dennis the menace type of cartoons where there's a kid like playing with a yo-yo or pulling his wagon well it's a bunch of kids sitting around a ouija board and just says let's summon demons and it's like a joke but i mean like obviously that's the only like logical conclusion of using a ouija board now anybody that would use it you know um like have no excuse uh well that's the whole state of that territory the satanic panic was like the 80s it really kicked off where they're talking about the ritual sexual abuse and all that sort of thing sure um so in the 70s i mean i think it was less um as you were saying it was sort of less on the radar of the general pop culture so uh i don't know who the director was was it ridley scott or someone or no it was no maybe that was the author i don't know who the director was but the director now the writer of it was his last name was blatty but i can't i can't really remember because the guy um because i i think maybe if i'm correct the the director was also the author because it was a book first um hold on william friedkin friedkin oh okay william friedkin yeah music by johnny written by yeah so william peter blatty was the author and um i don't know if friedkin was a catholic i know the author obviously was but um sounds jewish to me you can be jewish and catholic that's true that is true uh i'm just looking at his wikipedia thing here his parents were jewish immigrants from ukraine cool so i was right no mention of christianity uh eggs or cysts so he's best known for the exorcist and the french connection and the funny thing is like with those movies um the people involved in them uh like you think that you hear more conversion yeah you know stories come about from them because it's like weird stuff apparently happened on the set of that film and um you know people died after filming it and i think we're injured like the one of the gentlemen um who played a director in the movie um that was his last film um he died right after making it he died in the movie his character dies in the movie and then he died after making it um i think linda blair the woman who played um reagan the main character she didn't get work for the longest time because nobody wanted to hire the she was taking that girl she was typing she was yeah and for yeah i mean kind of like a if you play jesus you're you're never going to work that guy converted right that guy converted from uh yeah no he was already a catholic he was already a catholic he just underwent a deepening conversion i believe so i mean who wouldn't i mean i guess joaquin phoenix didn't after he played jesus but was he catholic to begin with who yeah no no actually he was involved in a uh christian cult in south america um uh the children of god or something like that are you serious yeah so his his uh i read um river phoenix's one of his biographies and um it spoke about them uh living in south america they uh they lived in one of those like weird hippie commune jesus groups which eventually uh disbanded because of the um widespread uh sexual abuse that occurred and um but they used to do like a lot of busking that's how they like learned how to be entertainers they used to like play um fishy music i think they called it fishy flirting or something like that what's fishy flirty that's when the sexy young members of the children of god would go out and bust and flirt with people to bring them into the cult we just watched a documentary about it a month or two ago and it was very disturbing very disturbing especially since uh one of my wife's best friends belonged to that cult as a child and really the family still belongs to it um yeah i won't mention too many details so no one can connect the dots but yeah it's uh it may have mellowed out a little bit by the time this guy was born because he was i think he was born in the 80s or something or in the 90s or something young younger guy but uh yeah the the the cult leader was quite sick i mean as most cult leaders are we've been watching a lot of these cult documentaries there's a rather boring documentary about a weight loss christian cult okay called way down and the w-a-y but the cult was called way down w-e-i-g-h or however you spell whey and uh you know she was an evangelical oh oh is that on hbo yeah it's really badly done hey you need to shave your chin so you just have the um goatee no not even a goatee you need to have a fu manchu you could be like google burdello um who's this uh turn your lights off nicola yeah show the beauty you got it flaunt it man i used to i used to turn your mic away from your mouth it's too loud you're too loud and too sexy oh yeah you know what hold on whisper to us whisper to us in your sexy voice okay hold on yeah so how's it going thank you for calling hold on okay is that a little better or still loud it's good still alive no you're good how about now that's better how do you like me now better how you like yeah aiden we tried three times to get uh the video with uh nicola and one of the times his audio stopped working so i was over dubbing him with an indian accent as his lips moved i wish i kept that i wish i kept it it was so funny but it was also very racist racially insensitive that's excellent yeah i i wonder how that would have looked on the video that would have been funny man nichola i watched your or i listened to your interview today with david and i was like the my favorite part um it was also my least favorite part because david you were reading a prayer for tears right and it was way too long um but nicola your face you you closed your eyes and you like you had the patience that i didn't have and um uh it was great no i mean like i'm just like man what's going on david like this is like you're not memorizing this this isn't gonna happen um but nicola your face you were just so angelic and peaceful the whole time i'm just like i could watch that man sleep in the non creepiest way like if he looks that peaceful i'd like to see the thought bubble though it did it went on it went on long but i i wasn't expecting that long neither but i said i'm gonna soak it up so that's what i did i closed my eyes to soak it up and then i was like wow this is a long prayer but good but then i said no way in hell is he memorizing this challenge accepted challenge accepted challenging better there's better challenges out there like not that you know like that's just the spring challenge the sprite challenge where i have to drink it without burping the whole bottle how much is the whole bottle it's like 250 350 milliliters or whatever it is i'll do that one if you want sure no but david yeah you're sweet let me guess because you want to memorize that because you want the gift of tears is that correct that's correct you know you don't have to do that to get the gift right you just have to ask for it it's not like pre-wreck like memorize this prayer and then that happens but i i want to i'm not expecting to get the gift of tears anytime soon so i want to have that prayer memorized so that i can just at any time i want i can just soak myself in it i suppose if you died went to heaven met god face to face and then you had to fumble in your back pocket you're like wait and pulled it up and then read it to him i'm sure that it wouldn't have the same effect too much on you you're one performance it's like i did this for you lord so i had i had the gift of tears for two years strong i mean i can cry about anything when it came to jesus christ the prayer mass anything i would instantly start crying for two years but wow now that was two years ago so for the past two years um a lot of it most of it vanished and i i only have it at some times now like christmas and easter i'll get it no no i can get it even at the eucharist randomly sometimes i don't know i don't know how or why but i walk up there and there i am legally i'm like i'm trying to hold it back too you know let it flow man awesome but here's the funny thing about it so the reason i mentioned it is because if you get it ha uh be ready to have people look at you and think everything is wrong and think you need help so they're gonna come at you do you need me to pray for you everything okay yeah what's wrong i got and i'm you don't understand no everything is perfect you know that's what i tell them but just say just read them the gift of tears prayer by saying augustine and they'll they'll soon lose interest in all of your problems but one priest got it right away he asked me are you okay and i said yeah yeah i said just um and then i try to start explaining he said ah he goes you got the gift of tears he goes that's good cool priest man sounds like a good one yeah but here's the here's the funny thing though for my journey for two years i was floating man full of consolation and just but this past two years man a lot of it's going away it's almost like i have to learn how to walk you have to learn how to walk again and just be back in the world in reality and struggles and yeah even the fighting just to go to mass and you know the normal the normal stuff the new normal the new normal yeah that's supposed to be uh that's supposed to be a blessing when that happens i've been um been reading about different forms of mental prayer and i've been like trying to practice um lectio divina and it's it's great it's a lot of fun um but that's because i'm so new at it that it's like oh um this is this is gonna be great it won't start meeting much until you start laboring with it and you know um like getting past the initial you know and then getting into like the whole you know slogging out putting the cross on your shoulder and like walking down the street every day same time same place that's when it really starts to um you know count for something because god always you know takes away the cookies at some point it's funny i needed it i needed it myself it's a blessing because i a little judgment started coming my way and i'm looking at people like why do they act like it's so hard to go to church once a week and why did i act like it's so hard to pray and why did you know like i started getting that but this was a good check-in for me you know to to remember the struggle yeah it's awful when i read about this far i'll carry you this far but i'm putting you down right now right there that's where you get off [Laughter] but that carry was wonderful man amazing every time i try to put it in words i can't so kieran says uh nicola i do i do love you but tonight i was on full dad duty because my priorities are all screwed up and i haven't realized yet what's the most important thing in my life signed signed kieran so i appreciate his honesty on that yeah yep because he became an all-star on the cvs podcast and he i don't understand how he you know he he's not putting that first he's playing hard to get with us because he's too good for us it's got to be some kind of game he's plotting don't forget he's he is and platinum nichola don't think i'm not aware of what's going on right now i know why you're joining this chat you're trying to bump yourself up in the stats you're just like everybody like i just wanted to jump in and say hello and you know very well well played sir well-played what do you mean this was all the mastermind david his plan worked his plan is working should i say puppet masters yes pretty soon pretty soon we know we're going to be sending him it's like just venmo me before before the chat just spend money 20 bucks and i'll just be all of us paying money to get on but so i didn't get a chance to wash up yet i still got paint all over my hands a little thing i was spraying today i got paint in my beard i thought this wasn't happening when i didn't get i didn't see any more responses on the email so it's because you guys you guys are old school you don't know or your new school you don't know how to hit that reply all button because everyone's replying to me just to me so no one else can see all the communication so when aiden said aim said he's in and you said you're in but the boys couldn't see it karen's uh kieran's chatting with us saying and this is great laffy smiling face and so he's uh enjoying this uh why is he joining there but not here i don't know anyway i don't understand that because he'll dominate he's doing is he's doing his uh dad thing you know that's good yeah whenever i talk to him he always like he's like yeah man presuppositional blah blah blah snorts then he turns he's like oh buddy do you want some kind of thing that i can give you hold on give me one second and then he turns back and he's just like yeah dude [Music] you've gotten so soft and weak that's good that's very good but he'll he'll join us next time like we'll do this uh we'll do this again for sure but he'll join us next time but yeah it's true he will he will dominate you like that's his that's his duty as the the older brother is to dominate the younger brother i know it's funny i'm thinking of um kieran's journey and just remembering the first few videos oh my god oh my god he was and he was trying to settle straight david oh my god david i'm sad the bible says this and but it's amazing to see the journey man nichola were you protestant as well or were you because after i had my ear i listened to you by the way your first one but i can't remember i just remember you oh what were you you were you were um and all i remember is where i was driving i was in reading pennsylvania and i remember you talking about peter bowing down or telling somebody else not to bow down to him and you're confusing your battle with that piece of scripture but that's all i remember from that interview because it was a couple years like two years ago that i listened to it so i'll stop interrupting you answer i'm i'm i'm i was born catholic and i was a catholic my whole life but nobody practicing it in the house we just had all the images in the house and we went for easter and christmas that was it so knew nothing about it then i had my conversion or my whatever it's called uh my um miracle from god or whatever that was and then from that day i just said i'm gonna follow god as best as i can four years ago and i started reading the bible for myself and um and started watching um youtube videos and and then uh what came with a lot of protestants was the catholic bashing and i felt for those right away and then should i stop being a catholic stop being a catholic was full-blown protestant for about eight months and god pulled me right back into the catholic church after that and even the way that happened was a miracle in itself man because i wasn't or were you were you like a liturgical christian before you were yeah i would say non-denominational and if you okay made me give a name i would say baptist fine but it was more non-denominational probably yeah okay believing because a lot of people just like use that to as the weight as the um way to describe where yeah you know even i'm not a protestant i'm a christian right right um out of the protestantism yeah a miracle but anyways um but besides the miracle um catholic answers had a lot to do with it and um but um i would say yeah mostly catholic answers had a lot to do with it and then my first video was when i finally said wow i'm catholic and and that was right after i found david's channel and got my first interview i was a fresh catholic all over again on that first interview what an honor you reached out to me or what how did i find you um i found you i watched one of your videos and commented and then you commented back and just said you wanna or you asked me i think um i ask everyone yeah don't feel don't feel too flattered ask absolutely everyone i know multiple times multiple times until they say yes or it's until they say stop asking me she chased me she chased me oh yeah and then finally i said yes guaranteed not with the hair down though it had to be tied up because with the hair down she would have ran again i think david should always tear down and i think you know i could do yeah i want the beard i wish i could have the beard maybe i'll like you oh is it your job that you can't no well my wife doesn't like it and plus i don't have a lot of facial hair wait she's orthodox she should love uh she should love a big old juicy beard man but you know i want to i want to just mention something about kieran again it's all about karen right it's all about it's always a bad case let's use a code word it's all about jennifer he's going to be like way to go kieran i'm tired of dreaming about him every night to go there it is all about him so so anyway i'm listening to the archives and going back to the old interviews i'm editing one of uh yours right now aidan and uh i'm sure it's me are you sure it's not oh wait that was actually curious there's a lot of talk sorry there's there's a substantial amount of talk about kieran in that one but there's also one i'm doing editing also one from matthew murdock and it's all about kieran so it's interesting you know the way he uh insinuates himself into our minds and uh what is it like what is it about him like he's just he's good at taking he's really special karen's really brilliant he's funny um he's you know uh kieran oh yeah definitely the mustache yeah my my wife loves anybody who's remotely addicted to anything she thinks that people that she thinks addicts just have an enigmatic personality so like kieran is just hands down you know like when he guns for something he's just like right there i remember in like third or fourth grade he wrote a poem about um thunder or lightning or a combination of the two and it got published in this like book that the teacher like submitted it to and my mom read it aloud and i was like oh wow that was uh that was really brilliant but that was the first time i had any inkling that karen was smart and i was just like he had to copy that that's not him but it took a long time for aiden to admit damn my younger brother smart that that took a long time for those words to come out probably yeah for being the older brother just to give something to the little brother because i know how my older brother is with me and oh yeah yeah well nichola you know i was i was the fat kid right i was like the i was i was always the like kieran's overweight older brother i looked like a woman for many years everybody called me rosie really yeah i lost a lot of weight and uh david you're laughing but it's so true man it's so true everybody's like this is like oh you look like a lesbian i'm like fair enough were you insulted when trump uh threw some shade your way how did you throw shade in my way or just making fun of rosie o'donnell all the time oh yeah well you took that personally i do feel a kinship with her and so i would have i wouldn't have liked that had i heard that so how about you guys know pat is it a boy is it a girl oh yeah saturday night live yeah i was i was called that i was called that for a few years from i would say from 14 to 15 i looked like pat wow you're married right yeah i bet your wife is smoking hot too because that's what happens to all the dudes that that get made fun of they always find the hottest woman that will say yes and they they beeline it for them and that's [Laughter] how long you've been married almost seven years almost seven years how about you yeah i'm going on ten going on ten years this september how old are you if you don't mind me asking because i can't i can't read you're 40 40. oh wow nice man nice i would have just said how about you 32 30. okay okay i'm 52. so we got the 30s 40s and 50s covered here wow mark by the way so astounded at your age david who is mark oh your uncle mark yeah uncle mark yeah yeah yeah he told me he thought i looked young yeah he couldn't believe he's like no way it's like yeah i know david has uh david's going to live forever i hope so well i don't want to live forever but i mean uh i'm blessed with some good genes like i think uh you know i talked to my dad today and he's in his mid 80s and he's out gardening and uh you know wow so good i got some good genes like saint anthony the great yeah dude lived until he was like 108. yeah i just want to live long enough to um my goal is to either die a martyr and go straight to heaven or to that's unlikely to happen or to be a confessor you know what a confessor is isn't it similar to martyrdom where you die for professing the faith well i think one of the criteria is that you don't commit a venial sin or obviously not immortal sin for 10 full years before your death so you have 10 years how would that even occur i mean i mean i'm gonna try to make it happen oh i don't mean for you i just mean i just think in terms of myself i'm just like i literally like i go to confession i sit down and i'm just like let's sin again baby just not too bad before i receive that's i know i know i know kick down the door and i'm just like sup [ __ ] let's go hey i want to share a blasphemous fantasy i had during mass this past sunday just sounds horrible just because it's it's strange like i've never had anything like this before um you and i aiden talk talked back in 2019 in your second uh interview part two which i'm editing now and we'll publish soon we talked about having sort of sexual stuff fantasies come during math well i talked about that anyway and um no i frequently yeah so much it doesn't even phase me anymore yeah but this was this was not to do with sex this was to do with food this first time this happened to me like i often think about food while i'm at mass like hey what's my next meal going to be what am i going to eat oh it's going to be delicious like whatever you know i'm often thinking about food during last i try not to but that just comes to my mind and um because i'm hungry usually during mass but and i'm just always hungry all the time even if i just had a meal i'm always thinking about when's my next meal but anyway the point is i was looking at a beautiful life-size crucifix is that matthew murdock no it's my uncle he's at a chicago concert he's sending me videos i know you won't like this but he's like so i'm looking at this life-size crucifix of a white you know statue of jesus on the cross at church and i'm fantasizing about the chocolate cake that my wife asked me to pick up on my way home from church i'm thinking about what kind of chocolate cakes are going to be how delicious is going to taste and all this sort of thing and um and then i just i just had this this this image the reason i'm sharing this with you is because it's partly sick and twisted and it's partly edifying the sick and twisted part is that i pictured the one of the soldiers at the crucifixion holding up on a stick a piece of chocolate cake for jesus to eat right and he's like here have some chocolate cake it's just like a totally absurd monty python moment yep um but at the same time you know it really did it really did humble me it put into perspective this perverted lust i have for food like what the hell am i lusting after a piece of chocolate cake for when i'm you know about to receive the body blood soul in the vineyard of jesus christ and this this idea this mockery of christ by offering them a piece have some cake jesus here you go you know like the when they gave him the vinegar or whatever it was that wine sour wine whatever it was it's just i don't know i've never understood if that was a mockery if they're trying to be nice to him or they're trying to provoke him and trying to get him to talk about elijah or what they were trying to do with that wine there like it seemed like hey he's going to say something hey give him some wine like is it a mockery or were they compassionate i don't know i don't understand that bible scene when they offer him the wine on the hyssop branch or whatever it is but um with the chocolate cake thing it was definitely like uh derision and scorn and mockery and uh you know but it did humble me and it did it did uh condemn me like i felt like uh condemned for this uh this trivial lust i have for something as silly as uh dessert you know well there's like what there's potential sin and then there's actualized sin and we don't like deal with certain things until they pop up so like maybe that was just an opportunity for you to heal in that like one little weird way you know what i mean like you wouldn't have had to deal with like your lustfulness towards like cake or dessert foods you know what i mean and then it like put it in a very explicit way so like um so spotlight spotlight yeah it's like shining a light on it so that way you could deal with that directly because it's just like that's how i've been kind of thinking about sin now anyway i'm like like if something really disturbing comes up because sometimes if i'm like not paying attention that's when it disturbs me but then after a while i'm like oh that's actually that's fine but then i'm like oh this potential for this would have this would have existed had i not had this experience anyway even if i failed to the experience you know what i mean like it's like oh yeah that that potential always existed so you just had the opportunity in that moment to deal with it and then you flubbed it um but like right now right now i'm experiencing something kind of similar to the chocolate cake david right now like i'm praying not right now but like in my generalized prayers where i'm praising jesus and the word sexy keeps coming up where i'm like my sweet jesus or i'm not like my sexy jesus and i'm like no that's that's not it's absurd like i'm sorry jesus that's not what i mean but there's obviously this this satisfaction in the lord that that covers every desire and so it's like well it's not totally wrong it's just um it's just you know not it's just not respectful and it's not like quite hitting it's a bit misguided a bit misguided yeah right right just needs to be tweaked a bit yeah exactly omitted completely we talked about this at length in that your 2019 interview by the way we talked about this yeah i know it just keeps coming but now i'm just like man all right well you know he knew how awful i was before so i was thinking about the course yeah go ahead nicole did that um scene pop out of totally nowhere no no like the oh i'm saying the the guard holding the stick with the cake on it that hold the guard holding the stick did that like just pop out in your head with the cake already or did you think of the guard and then jesus and then the cake on the stick was it like no it was like no the sequence the sequence of events was i'm looking at the crucifix uh admiring it the mass is ongoing i'm half-heartedly listening to the mass and i'm looking at the crucifix and then the idea comes into my head oh yeah i gotta buy that chocolate cake for anna while i'm looking at the crucifix half-heartedly participating in the mass and then right away the whole scene played out in front of my eyes this mockery of christ where it's being offered into his mouth i didn't see the soldier i didn't even see the stick i just saw the the cake on his mouth okay and then i just thought oh my god this is like blasphemous and then i just thought it's funny and then i thought um what is the significance of this what is the meaning of this like what what uh it puts things into perspective in terms of uh you know fasting respect respecting your body and your body's a temple and what is food and is it okay to have some sweets from time to time and what is moderation and all those sorts of questions like you just start thinking about all that sort of thing right yep yeah that glenn is powerful man and i deal with it i take it out on my cigarettes mostly i'll tell you that i'd be scared if i quit i i think i would gain all kinds of weight you'd end up looking like uh rosie o'donnell yeah i was just trying to email you a photograph of her so that you would see but i couldn't do it it won't let me upload it for my phone nicola i also enjoy and this is not good because i'm a nurse and i'm supposed to discourage people from smoking cigarettes but during your interview you're smoking and i'm just like enjoy yourself buddy like i'm like good times vicariously my wife is a nurse she's a registered nurse as well and she works and ate south neurology the neurology floor so ugh neurons got some heavy yep she got some heavy stuff yeah what's the first detroit michigan yeah oh no way okay okay cool yeah we got a lot of michigan nights um down here in pensacola you should uh travel down south and uh come on you're isn't that i think that's where kent hovind lives is that true did you go visit dinosaur adventureland yet or what i do not know what that is you know you don't know ken hovind wow okay david interviewed him is he like a crete like a like a young earth creationist he's the he's probably one of the most famous the most famous one you gotta watch his videos i mean the guy is he's quite a personality he's got a lot of personality and uh you know he's quite sharp and he's got a edge like a lot of edge and he doesn't suffer fools you know he he was my favorite the whole eight months i was protesting he was they had my favorite i would say i still i still like him i mean he he was a little bit aggressive with me against my catholicism you know mocking my belief in purgatory and these sorts of things but i did a response video to him too which i think is uh one of my favorite things um the vitriol against purgation or purgatory like really no because it lends credence to the works it lends credence to the whole issue of faith in works and i was thinking about faith and works because uh one of my daily prayers is uh to the saint saint michael the archangel it's like a sort of uh cha they call it a chocolate to st michael or something like that but um you do the crown the the the with the three hail marys and the like the nine choirs like i do the nine choirs thing yeah the nine quarters there's some brutal prayer man that's all that's a powerful prayer i don't do it properly i do a um sort of like an abridged version of it like i don't do the hail mary's or the our father our fathers or the the uh the glory bees or all these sorts of things i just do the parts that i'm not praying already 20 times a day right like i mean uh i just wanted to get the skeleton of it so that i can like if i end up in a prison cell or something like that i can reconstruct it because i i wanted to memorize the parts that i haven't already got memorized that i say 20 times a day anyway so i just got the skeleton and i've just been in the habit of saying that and uh but the one of the uh choirs of angels um well it's the archangels it says uh by the intercession of saint michael in the celestial choir of archangels let me lord give me perseverance in faith and in all good works in order that i may attain the glory of heaven yeah so give me faith and works so that i can go to heaven what does that mean and as the church prays so she believes as the church prays so she believes so if i'm praying that i want the archangels to give me faith and works so that i can go to heaven what does that mean it means i can't go to heaven without faith and works right like i mean i mean this is not a shocking revelation we know the church teaches that we need faith in works but every day i'm praying this and i'm thinking wow that this is like it's uh it's so taken for granted by the church that it's even found its way into our our prayers right do you think there's any weight to that yeah it just struck me like it just struck me like yeah we it's like it's like an endorsement the stamp of approval given by just this random prayer that i started praying maybe six years ago i think the problem is is that it's not usually parsed out well enough you know like i think trent horn does a really good job talking about faith and works and i always really liked his apologetics that like kind of spoke of those things um um and as far as like you know purgatory is concerned and like working or or or whatever you want to say to get out of it like people always like catholics tend to uh classify purgatory as a place and not as a process and it's like biblically it's so sound that like well you have to be clean to enter heaven you can die in an unclean um state um god it can do that in the blink of an eye but what is the blink of an eye to god to man and what does that process feel like um obviously divine justice has to exist so you can't you can't continue to be um awful to other human beings and not um you know not somehow give back for that because you know like god is all good he's also all just um so really it's just like let's put two and two together here the catholic teaching on purgatory isn't is actually very um it's very vague very open um we have to use reason we have to use reason yeah to me i was gonna say with faith in works to me it's like common sense it's like go ahead and try that with your wife just believe that you love her and that's it just believe it just believe it and everything will be fine and and you know what's funny what's crazy is when i after um after becoming catholic again and then understanding purgatory to me that tied so many loose ends within christianity like purgatory made everything make sense you know that like even how can someone have a deathbed confession how can someone all kinds of loose ends are really tied up that purgatory is the answer to many of these um these unknown questions on on how it makes sense you know that so for me it was deep to understand purgatory and how it all makes sense tied a lot it tied a lot of loose ends up for me yeah it's nichola i've been really interested in prayer lately i mean i've always i've been interested in prayer from the beginning of my conversion but i want to know what do you do for your daily prayer rule or life it's funny as i see you guys saying you guys do the rosary you guys do the everything they are all amazing stuff but i i cringe when i have when i when i try to do set prayers that's when my mind starts wandering that's when that so me it's been for a while now it's been the most sincere and how do you want to call it um spontaneous and sincere as possible um that's most of my prayers and i'll probably do five percent of set prayers and it's 95 percent just just including him in my daily life daily thoughts daily the uh you know when i get a moment and and only sometimes when i'll get into deep prayer is um i have this gregorian chant that i'll play sometimes and let that play and i'll just i'll just gets into everything man karen gets it i know kieran finds his way into everything i told you there was one i found i fell in love with the moment i heard it and then ever since then i'll use that sometimes send me the link but i try the rosary and i've just started doing the rosary um yeah it's tough but i've been doing the the um the divine mercy chaplain actually and with my family so with my wife and my four-year-old and almost two-year-old and we've been trying that and that's been yeah that's been awesome mega grace mega graces wow because i feel like you might you might be a real lover of the practice of the jesus prayer is it the short one the um um lord jesus have mercy on me um yeah yep um it's funny because i don't how does it go again i don't know exactly what different versions of mercedes good enough uh lord jesus christ son of god have mercy on me a sinner sinner yeah yep yeah no it's funny that one when i remember it i'll say it but i forget to say that one a lot i just more like um in different ways again i'll it's i guess my way is most sincere as possible is all i try that's it sometimes i will not even say the word i won't sometimes i'm saying plenty of times i say i'm sorry and but sometimes i won't even say i'm sorry i just i know he knows my heart and i just look down and i you know and and i leave it at that that's what i mean yeah so so that's been mine and i'm sure i'm gonna come to a point where i'm gonna need more set prayers and then get to them i'm sure and i know that that's coming but it's just been as sincere and as spontaneous as possible that's it nice that's awesome dude um that's what catholics need catholics need that and i don't lose i don't lose too many by his grace i don't lose too much focus during mass it's strange i used to before you know yeah but i don't i don't i can focus and hear what you know i mean pay attention what the priest is saying and be all in and once the eucharist is coming start trying to bring all my sins to you know all my sins to it and just um accept it as deep as possible so i don't know it's a grace from him though because in other words and other things there my mind can wander then and lose when i try to read actually when i sit down and try to read my mind will wonder it's weird it sounds like you kind of have a general practice of the presence of god kind of like what brother lawrence talks about which is just turning every activity into a prayer excuse me i i don't know brother lawrence the um i have read that book because it's short i read short books and books on demons because i was just telling you that i could start you know yeah short books and books on demons that's for sure everybody should start [Laughter] the short books i gotta start because i need to uh read more and get into not let my mind wander while i'm reading you know i've had two real moments with um the holy spirit i mean i've had a couple i'm sure i've had more than that but two that stand out in the last couple years with the with the holy spirit and um one of them i was standing in front of my bathroom mirror and i was like being overly heady about prayer and i said lord how do you want me to pray and i felt this guttural response in my chest and in the back of my neck and it just said from the heart that's all god wants us to just pray from the heart it's as simple as that so i'm going to tell you i'm going to tell you a story and a second one if i remember because but um so i did a novena asking for a dream i wanted a dream i said from god whatever he wants to give me right i said give me whatever you want to give me if um but i want something from you anything what should i do what can i do what support whatever it may be i did a nine-day novena and it didn't and the ninth day came and nothing happened right and i remember i was a little disappointed about that and i was like you know i kind of lost a little faith in the novena prayer right it's stealth and i was like okay whatever you know and this and that and then but and then about three weeks later and my dreams i barely remember them i i don't really have too many dreams and if i do they're goofy silly and i forget about them by the time i wake up but anyways about three weeks later or something like that i have this dream it's as real as can be right it's vivid it's real it's deep i walk into church i get on my knees as soon as i get on my knees everything disappears the chairs to everything is just me on my knees blackness and i look up a human heart the biggest human heart but it's huge it's a huge human heart i would say about 10 feet high above me and maybe six feet wide right six feet up like a huge human heart i see and i looked to the left and and fire there was fire um fire all around almost like but there was nothing there to be on fire but there was a fire as if something was catching on fire every every direction i looked all the way around was this fire and it was you burning in hell and then simultaneously with all that i literally felt like a combination of if i was on the world's fastest roller coaster if i jumped out of an airplane um that falling effect um all these crazy emotions and comfort and love and and um just all kinds of a mixed bag of what where it was like almost even revving up and getting more and more and more and more and that's what woke me up then so it was pretty crazy it was awesome but yeah it was awesome but yeah so but that's what he gave me and then i was like but if i ask what did that mean hurt on fire what else does it mean besides i see a heart the heart of love or the love of christ burning the heart of christ love and that big heart and that's been a big that's been a big thing too for me god keeps giving me that grace of love love love love and that could sound very corny i know and i know an atheist an atheist could even love someone and they say to be nice and love everybody but there's a real love and a fake love right so and it's just god keeps pushing that love and then and the more i try then the more i realize how hard it is to love everybody and love correctly and love like christ did you know it's a far it's a high mountain to climb but we just keep trying for that amazing anything but fall into the religiosity of it and fall into the motions of it and fault you know so pharisaical rigidity and yeah rigorous rigor yeah legalism checklist uh checklist check check check i did not yeah okay i cried cried my tears i had my dream about the hurt okay i'm in yeah i'm fascinated by the transverbation of the heart like the idea of the heart getting pierced you know and like like this like terrific angel comes down and stabs you in the heart and i'm like man lord i really want that and then this is like well you know maybe you should try to like love people naturally like and like like consistently yeah baby steps baby stuff yeah like why don't you like you know be better to your wife and it's like okay and then it's just like yeah but that's true though like you don't just like get the big stuff without the the small steps in between it wouldn't make sense that way so yeah yeah i love mother teresa too yeah i'm just inspired by her so much [Music] she's your countryman she's your fellow countrymen right yep albanian ladies it's not for that reason that why i'm attracted to her i'm attracted there by the love she gave and by the work she did man so and then that makes the extra connection she is albanian as well so her power her the power she has in her delivery of every word she speaks no wasted no wasted words i opened a book with her one day and i saw her face and it it just beamed with light i'm like ah she's holy there is just no denying it yeah i heard a speech she gave about abortion just the four or five days ago and i was like wow wow wow try to look up the speech whether she gave on abortion that meeting national prayer day in the white house or something like that yep yep i was like wow wow amazing she's amazing and then she and i love how she's in that michael they put her in the michael jackson video you know that song a man in the mirror no way do you know that something yeah yeah there's a there's a few shots of her no way i loved it i love the part they chose to even put in somebody has a kid a sick child and she could she just basically dove to grab this child and put her in his arms put him in her arms and i'm just like wow it's so deep i love it you know i was i was at a job on a job picking up some materials at the supply whatever warehouse and they have all kinds of stuff they stock for all kinds of different businesses and one of the things they're stalking is all this lit these linens like i don't know what they are but they're like like laundry's been done or something and there's all this fabric there like i don't know if it's bed sheets or what it is but i swear to god it looked like i shouldn't swear to god but it looked exactly like and it reminded me of the what the the sisters you know mother teresa's sisters like that order did she found that order or what but it's got just the white with the blue stripes with the blue stripes i saw it i don't know if she made it fame i don't know if she put it on the map or if she found it but i know she had her own thing she found it but i don't know if that came with it or not but i just i just felt a desire like i wanna have one of these clothes with this like this white and blue because it just it just brought me to mother teresa and i just love i just love her yep yep they were selling um one at my church uh a version of it like a scarf but in the white and blue i loved it i i i bought it and i just i got it blessed and i love that thing so yeah it's cool to have though but i know what you're saying about that and you know she she dealt with she dealt with the the poor right where she's famous for dealing with the poor and helping the poor but she made a funny comment about a funny assessment of who the poorest people are it's those in the west who are killing their babies they're the poorest people they're the poor you know she she sees through she sees as god sees she knows who's rich and who's poor that's right and it's the poverty the poverty to not even value your own child that's the ultimate poverty yeah can you imagine i got dark really quick yeah so found her headdress and it'll be really nice to have have something like that around don't kill your children well yeah that's why we love her though that's why we love her because she she will nail you on your hypocrisy she will nail you without like without you know without like cornering your personal indeed that is look how deep that is you're not the poor that has zero dollars in your pocket that's the poor right there yeah that are killing their babies yeah you know that's what poor being poor means and we have to see jesus in those people that's the hard part those though i was i was at the i was at the uh i was at the propane station getting some propane tanks filled up for my work and uh you know i just dressed like a street bomb and whatever and i got my bashed up pickup truck from work and whatever totally classless and uh this rich guy pulls up totally rich totally rich car he's dressed to the hilt he's got like his cravat his french cravat and his sunglasses and his hair is perfectly he's got the nice shoes and the watch and everything and he walks up with his little tiny canister i've got three huge hundred pound canisters he's got a little 30 pounder and uh the guy running the shop the propane shop says oh excuse me i i'm just gonna serve this gentleman first and then i'll do you okay even though i got there first and i made a joke i made a joke i know i know full well i'm not stupid i know the reason is because he has a little one it's faster and then he'll do my three big ones okay i know that but i made a joke and i just was acting like i'm all pissed off like yeah yeah sure serve him first because he's rich and i tried i tried to give attitude right right in front of the guy and i was hoping that he would have some humility he'd laugh along right but he he kept a completely straight face and he thought i was serious that i was seriously like oppressed under class that's like rebelling and i'm showing my true anger towards the hatred towards the rich people whatever i wasn't i was just making a joke can you laugh at yourself like can you laugh at the theater of this like we're all gonna die we're all going to end up before our maker and like can you laugh at the role you're playing because i can laugh at the role i'm playing you know but he couldn't and the guy working there couldn't either he's like no no no no he worked very hard for his money the rich people work very hard for the money and i was thinking i had another joke spontaneously come into my head yeah it's hard work managing all those slaves isn't it but i didn't say that joke i didn't say that joke because the first one didn't fly that one certainly wouldn't i would say they probably just didn't get you were joking but but you're right they in the within themselves now they got to realize to be able to laugh at themselves yeah come on they just probably had no idea you were joking that's all they thought you were serious probably yeah there's something overly sterile about people with money like they're and i was um yeah i guys have probably seen women that are so good-looking that it's painful to look at them it's just like oh my goodness it's like they're ripping your heart out right now there's like a type of man and woman that exists that exists that's i see that david collins yeah so like there's uh this type of rich person that exists they're just so well put together they're so clean they're so well clothed it looks like they don't sweat it looks like they don't wipe their butt it just looks like they're just this immaculate like floating species that just goes along and just doesn't doesn't you know pour out any fluid from any orifice and um unlike nicola with his tears with his tears i went to your tears not anything else go ahead that's right no but i mean there's something about that person where you just like and you feel like it's kind of it's like the opposite you know when saint francis meets the leper and he feels repulsed by him like you see that with those people and i think about my interactions with them because i know i get those people as patients and i have to put my hands on them i have to touch them i have to take care of that to interact with them and i almost feel like my dirtiness is like corrupting their their like their well put together

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