hi I'm Josephine Ross you're listening to Catholic versus Protestant toe looks a little bit about yourself who you are what you believe and why you believe it well I was raised protestant i went to the united church as a child i also went to the Salvation Army periodically and what was it like growing up with the United Church of candidate did you were you taught to pray by your mother before bed and stuff like that before meals with your father pray before meals oh no my father did the closest thing my father came to saying anything religious for my mother had a felon or some pain and she told that he'd say tell your troubles to the Lord yeah he wasn't recognized religious tough but and he wasn't a round hole I'd he left and had a baby with another woman while I was being born so I didn't know okay as I how did how did it come about that you were going to church well it was just what we did it was we girls would why I was baptized when I was about eight the Queen Street United Church was about two blocks away and we'd go to church I don't remember mom going with us probably because she was so happy to have an hour free of kids I hey and how many how many kids were near there were seven girls and no boys no boys no ok so you I remember when I was young when you taught me how to play before bad that's right your mom teach you or no she must have I don't recall it but would you greatly yeah we always got near by the bed and say now I lay me down to sleep as I thought about it later cuz i taught you guys to do that before you go to bed but that i thought how scary really for a little kid to say if i should die before I wake you know but yeah we pray that i still pray do you still say that prayer not open on my heart is the Lord's Prayer okay no other was just scared but and I always I think it's Psalm 122 I always say that at night I sipped through the day dreamers are you holding up I shall lift up mine eyes unto the hills from whence cometh my strength my strengths cometh from the Lord which created heaven and earth he shall not suffer thy foot to be moved he who keepeth thee shall not slumber behold he who keepeth Israel shall neither slumber nor sleep the Lord is thy keeper the Lord aside yield upon thy right hand the Sun shall not smite thee by day nor the moon by night the Lord shall preserve thee from all evil he shall preserve thy soul shall preserve thy going out and thy coming in from this day forward and even forevermore okay would you recite songs as a family of the kid or oh no no there was never any sort touch of religion really in the head interesting that you guys will go to church yeah I don't know it's just natural yeah we just did it was and it was close mom believed in God and she wanted us to grow up okay yeah can you tell me a little bit about I know it's not pleasant but when you went to high school some was Catholic girl fiocchi Josiah told aya well we do we'd be walking along princess street and the Catholic girls be on the other side and these two girls and they'd haul her over nasty stuff at us like hey look at her she's got red hair black eyebrows because I had red hair by five I always picked on me because I was always shy anyway one time we were at Skelton Park and these two Catholic girls show up and they start beating me up and this is when I was a lot younger than going to high school and I bound and bent I was not going to shed a tear through it and they pulled my hair and pulled it i'm sure they pulled some of it until at last he stood back and said wow she doesn't feel any pain still sits torturing me anymore but anyway the when I was going to high school and these same Catholic girls we were walking by the bell telephone and she started beating me up again right in front of the tough on the guys from the frame at the bell at the window hollering at you no catfighting or whatever you know anyway that was probably in October and then in March I went started work as a very building I saw those same guys that it's a refighting a so what happened as you girls grew up did some of the kids go deep into hardcore religion and others less so or what's the would not affect from there no no what it was over the top religious and nobody ever ever ever swore in my home no no the only time well if when we were at little we'd ride mom nuts and we keep it up until she said damn and when she said damn you knew that was time to stop I thought grandmother lived right next door she was an interesting interesting lady your grandmother yeah told fortunes and and what was her trade name not amazing and it was in the personal column of the wig standard madam AZ knows all tells off did she ever tell fortunes to her family and friends are only two strangers I she only paying customers had crystal ball on a kitchen table and mom would be at some time we lived there we lived upstairs but did you have a mystique about her or no I asked you know she didn't put on any gypsy type though no but she was she had a presence that's what I would say okay she never cared for me too much but my mom when we were living that one mom told me that my mother would be in the living room and knock had come to the door and it would be someone who wander fortune told and they'd walk past the living room to the kitchen mom could hear them going out there and the chair is being pulled out and then I see someone in uniform as soon as it was the war time everybody had Oh is he gonna be all right yes he's going to be all right you know and they were glad to hear it whether it shouldn't have any powers but she had the power of the tux yeah okay and she was yeah she was special word no it's fun I never felt like I had a grandmother at all truth about why you just never had a grandmother that would hug you know huh yeah what about your mom's mom she was sort of very very unhappy lady she is not too warm no I sure norm at all I don't remember a touch of me over I guess I didn't like her as a kid but as I'm older I can realize that she was very unhappy because this would be interesting in your Catholic versus Protestant she was in love with Catholic life he was in love with her and in those days you did not do it both families wouldn't have any part of it but too so they were forbidden to marry and then however it came about she married my grandfather who was 18 years older than her I'm sure they didn't even like each other so when you got a bit older and started working as an adult or whatever left home no I never left home till I got married okay yeah but when you met dad was it just a happy coincidence that you both belong to the United Church of Canada well I don't remember it being savvy no I was happy to read a but sort of thing like incidental I went to yeah it's church was never sort of oh my god I gotta go to I'm going to die you know and he said it was something you did and it was a part of your life and a nice party in life but when you met that and you just casually found out he was united church of canada and when you got when you were going to get married it was just a natural thing they didn't require any thought or anything just get married in the United Church yeah that's right and he attended princess street united church so that's where we got married where then when you guys were baptized you all were baptized in the princess street united yeah you gotta stop ties nice and young i think i was three months old yeah okay dad was baptized late i think he was baptized 13 years old i think i was 12 something like that so as you when you got married and had kids and all that sort of thing up until that point religion was just in the background just as a pleasant sort of sunday activities yeah that's right where the right it was something you did it and wasn't you didn't do it because you had to did it because you wanted to and you want your kids to be raised in the church and you know go to Sunday School and was their peer pressure from the neighbors and family no no absolutely no pressure whatsoever you you went to church because you wanted to go with a family thing then go to the golden arches after he might have been an incentive for your kids but you kids never ever ever said I don't want to go to church I don't wanna go to Sunday School never sure and it wasn't like I was going to be if you didn't very hazy and mom would we pick up mom my mom would be living with us said she'd go to church with us and yeah it was just nice and that always enjoyed in fact I was going to say to you that he really misses church yeah he told me that it is a hurry yes he tells that all the time and I say well why don't you go to church you can't standard the crowds yeah so in your own personal life did you ever doubt God or become an atheist retina you know did you ever curse God oh yeah I swear you mean no but I mean angry oh I'd be angry angry thoughts time for a lot of things that happen in my life Sir Richard against me that I want to die I still want to die I would say I've lost the joy of living or we don't go through deep to crash and tried to kill myself twice here and come out on this game no but through all the dark stuff did you maintain a prayer life I have stupid you know i still believe but i don't think anybody can live and see things that happen to people kids and all that that you wonder why you know God can do so much why he allows stuff to go on but I know that he gave us the power to think for ourselves and and I try to say not my will but thy will be done you know yes and but I can't see a tiny little seed that has all the stuff in there to make it a beautiful flower without knowing that there is a God there is someone that creates at it doesn't just happen you know so you never fell into 8th you know I know it is never did not I never stopped believing in God but I did wonder if I say at times I think how come on first being so we do bad no it just things that happened you know I think you know what yes a lot of different yeah do you think that you've had an amount of joy to compensate for that or no no would you rather be more a little bit more like me where I don't feel a lot of highs and lows oh yeah lots of times I say that like that can roll with the punches more than I can and he's very happy being him yeah I've never been very happy being me you ever wonder why you have to suffer so much no it was rebutted by which I just want to apply god what a beta I don't want to live anymore yes I'm ready to go to but I'm just gonna see if the Lord gives me my dose is suffering before I go hope hey how do you mind for you I haven't learned much yet you've done enough from all the way no I yourself and everybody everybody you know you don't get through life with it going through trauma I try to figure out what happened to you when you were 14 that major Scooby was there something that we just stopped believe in a God when I was 14 out a dream that I saw Jesus he was waving to me woke up and I realized that I had lost my faith and it was counterintuitive but I just went with it it was like Jesus waving to buy to me it was sort of like he knew I would come back to him and he was sort of saying see you later Oh letting me did you do horrible stuff on your 14 more than the average 14 year-old Jennifer I was always rebellious like the stupid stuff when my mother called me to go to Sunday school or whatever and chef call me a million times before I'd actually go I was rebellious like that and I found drinking was well what it does is it breaks down the barriers and you can become a different person or your real self comes out or something like I like people they seem to like me but it nobody likes me what I was I don't know I'm Sarah Connor yeah you had so you started drinking when you're young to socialize yeah I guess I don't know I wanted to get out of myself what you don't like yourself just those two get it yeah yeah get away it'd don't care about anything yeah anyway it's been a log found a lot of soft lost a lot of it just because I have good strong enough you don't need to be strong to go to heaven I think you need to be weak to go to heaven remember when we're watching for twilight zone and this old guy was up in the clouds and he's walk along with his dog and he got to heaven and they said you kid but no dogs allowed and so he walked away and then finally he said you know I can't be heaven only dogs and so he went down and sure enough he found the where they were both welcome hey I remember that ok let's change topic a little bit and talk about my conversion what what impact did that have on year was out of the blue or we surprised away I was totally totally happy your whole being changed you just wear by David against it was just marvelous David it just because I felt for you I was a bit off during those years no you were yeah you were troubled yeah you were really seemed trouble see bit loose ends I was so good hearted thanks for sticking with me I thought what's going to happen do you plan for oh yeah I always pray for you yeah always for special just because you're you but because I'd lost about the babies are so afraid I was gonna lose you while I was carrying you guys afraid you weren't going to live didn't the doctors give you some warning it wouldn't be a good idea to have another day later all I said I shouldn't have another one for two years oak at least two years yeah so I asked you I asked you a lot like a version he said you're happy with it oh yeah it's really happy at dad are both have it with the wood we went down there for the ceremony at one confirmation oh it was just it was just so uplifting and it just there's so much love you know and people feel warm towards you know they know that you're a good person and I think you're sincere interested people I I think it's a real gift that you have I think you have biggest yeah so depression in our bloodline how many of your siblings were clinically depressed like we're doctor would say yeah you're depressed I think all of us yeah yeah I think Ken you know of anyone in the family that was actively a witch or demonic stuff on purpose no there's nothing like demonic that I know of but my sister she was saying that when she'd have these spells she said that the kids would know when they were coming on so I don't know just what kind of spell she had because I didn't know I thought it was like you know when I would get depressed you know and I just go to bed and you know but I never felt that it was something that people would feel coming on you know oh yeah we did as kids I did you even know when we're going to be at school I'll get that special feeling and come home and there would be something up oh really oh really oh really at a distance oh really but definitely what do you think that is I think it's a spiritual world yeah you don't feel it's evil I mean I think there's good and evil and gods in charge of the whole show and God allows evil and so you know it was a foreboding yeah yeah yeahs wasn't Pleasant no but I was always as a child I was always oblivious and very much in a bubble and I would have dreams and nightmares I man and the distinction between the dream and reality wasn't always crystal clear you know what I mean yeah yeah I just like life is but a dream for me sort of even to this day less so now yeah you know but there's you know you could attribute it to mental unless you can attribute it to some spiritual thing or whatever else but when I think about my childhood and the dream life yeah and some of these sort of psychic phenomenon you know yeah dark disturbing troubling stuff so it's nothing about it was pleasant it was all like sort of spooky okay spooky stuff yeah I'm not spooked now I think I know that log yeah I had no idea that you were sometimes I'm look at your pictures school pictures and you look sad and I think wonderful way to said yeah I think dad said that the kids all had different temperaments mine lean towards melancholy yeah I think that's accurate but i prefer sizes / angry yeah me too okay yeah yeah because I'm overwhelmed with sadness well i must say that i get to dreams where I stop them you know like I feel that diamond you know yeah and then I pray you know and then I know that they can't get across this you know but I do have that fear of the devil you know how many of you seven girls of attempted suicide car and two succeeded yeah so on a lighter note can you just talk about sort of what you love about God and what you look forward to about heaven what are the good Rosie happy scenarios that you have waiting for you after the best well just dance Footloose and fancy-free do you often think of heaven well I think yeah a lot what do you picture serenity just good feeling just happy days are here again no but I just think that all my trials Lord to be over back in ossifer yeah where there's no more pain just a feeling of togetherness with your loved ones yeah anyone in particular you miss that you'd like to see my mom and my baby face you can always die in war no no she lived three hours after she's blown when I came to and I asked out of her she said you know with a girl that she had spied bifida and hydrocephalus water of the brain and that the doctor had said that to the opening in the back with spina bifida was a large opening a and that they could send her to travel to a specialist to have her operated on but Chad says she wouldn't come through it and if she did she'd never walk you never know she might move six months she might live and the doctor said that he would recommend that we just let her go so they just let her die like that or do they have to do something because no no she just died on her own so when did you name her face dad okay what to give us faith to go on it's gonna be fun to see what she looks like an have that yeah so we don't know who's listening but what would you say to anyone that is listening let's say don't give up the ship but to know you have to you can't rush it so I think you know no matter how many times I've tried you can't bring the end on faster than you know you find life long or how I look really long long ago I said on post but you know it's not my enough up to here guess it is I don't think that's maybe uplifting but it's all like I'd say yeah you like it one of you if you can get there are some questions I don't know all you got to do it all you have to do all you got to do it all you have to do