hi I'm Irina and you're listening to Catholic versus other just tells the listener a little bit about yourself who you are what you believe and how you came to believe it okay so I was born in 1976 in Romania communist Romania where religion was strongly discouraged there was a in a small like in the cities that churches were basically unavailable in the small towns people still went to church but like the teachers would be there in front of the door on Sunday morning to make sure that the school kids didn't go in and stuff like that I did manage to get baptized my parents baptized me as Orthodox Christian and I didn't attend much church services up until I came to Montreal and the Romanian community were all sort of centered around the church and so we did go not for mass so much but we went to you know different celebrations here and there throughout the year how old were you when you came to Canada I was six almost seven any prayers before bedtime and stuff like that I learned that in school more than at home my parents didn't pray we didn't do any of that but so at some point I guess in the French maybe the English system as well we had religious studies in the elementary school level and then I went to a private Catholic girls high school so religion was never imposed at home and now I understand why it was an imposed home because it's my father with his new wife are very religious they go to church every Sunday you know they have these icons they I brought them a black Mary picture from Haiti and they flapped out right this is not part of our religious not we believe in this is like you know it could have been maybe it's a voodoo thing that you brought her well do you know about voodoo yeah you know how voodoo has been appropriate of Catholic yeah yeah so it is bleep it's like the Mary bulk or whatever I don't know all the name except that if I show it to you'll see it looks like exactly like a Orthodox Christian picture but the woman is naturally doesn't even look black like she doesn't have the features in the black woman the features of a white woman but in black maybe shows probably darker than white or anything anyway so it's really fun so the reason I believe that Griezmann wasn't imposed in my family life and upbringing was probably because my mother she wanted to take the cult like she wanted to Christmas and Easter and stuff like that but as far as the actual practicing of any ritual like prayer or anything else she didn't grow up with that and she knew that she's like officially Jewish you know and that met her mother gave them the option to by not baptizing them and she actually when I was baptized she was like kicked out of the church at my baptism by the time I brother came around a couple years later they changed churches and they didn't tell the priest that she wasn't baptized so she could be there and so my mother kind of kept it very quiet listen to what she explained to us over the Christmas holidays that you know she wasn't open about it because in her marriage her husband was very denigrating like just not very open to the whole idea of the Jewish culture and and would often use very strong negative words towards the Jews and to the stage they don't talk about it with your father won't ever mention it so are you excited to found out that you are Jewish I'm very excited because I feel like it adds a layer to my life to a certain extent but I'm not clear as to what exactly for some reason I feel a Jewish people have a very strong identity they really I mean whether they're practicing or not practicing they're very strongly attached to their Jewish roots and so that's somehow pleases me to think that I'm somehow part of that came subscribe a little bit what your spiritual path has been as an adult probably began with that whole hippie era where I went to a powwow and then I met somebody who told me about Rainbow Gathering and they went to Rainbow Gathering man pull everything excuted can you talk a little about rainbow cuz it's not something that everyone knows about a lot of love in that place it's crazy it's like my experience of it is that especially that first rainbow gathering people were there open heartedly and when you live in an open heartedly way like incredible thing like magical things happen looks like beautiful encounters things that you need to kind of show up just with these positive positive things so you know while we were cooking people were playing music and that was like part of how the meal was being made basically you know and before every supper we would own together so like that's important we had 300 people oming together and then there was a good period of talking and sharing and all these 300 people right like sharing together then ub ohm and then we do dishes the next rainbow gathering we were by this beautiful river with that with a waterfall but fell into this Basin that you could swim into and right before the waterfall that was the kitchen was there right by the waterside so you sit in the river naked washing dishes as the water flows by and like recuperates are all volcanic stuff and doing dishes sitting in the river was like in one of my best memories yes it was a really beautiful opening heart opening experience for me and from that first gallery we were next to an epidemic native-american chemic because there is no alcohol allowed on the site some of the people from the gathering would like canoe you have to canoe there we can get there by cars they can do to the reserve and go to the to the grocery store and buy wine or beer drink it there and then go back or buy whatever little junk food or whatever they cause it's all wholesome and healthy whatever but happened to connect with this one man one of the organizers of the gathering and he was looking for a white eagle feather from the healer of the village and so we did it we made a couple of trips to the village and on our second trip there I believe we went to the store and there was a young drunken Native American dude that was like following in the store we get out of the store and he's following us in the street my friend walks a bit slower and the other guy catches up with him and my understanding is that he's trying to tell him look can you just leave us alone and then he walks back up to me my friend he goes do you know what this is the nephew of the healing men of the village but unfortunately the healing man the village passed away six months ago but he invited us to his house there's like three or four or five generations living into the same roof and so we end up going to this home and so the old woman welcomes us into her home so we basically spend the afternoon eating Bannock and being having translated conversation with the squirmin who is explaining to us that she's 80 years old had 12 children and is the Midwife of the village and the sister of the healing man that died six months ago and telling us a story a little bit about her life and this and that and what I retained from that story was that how she had had 12 children and none of her children or anybody else from the village wanted to take up the midwifery trade that she had and how she was very sad about the fact that she was going to die relatively soon and there would be no Midwife in this village and therefore the pregnant women have to travel a distance in order to go get first house ad and so we spend us a couple of hours with her and then it's time for us to go and as we're headed down the stairs she says wait wait and the debtor comes back with a white eagle feather from the healer of the village who it's intended to my friend and he's like oh my god so touched in this was fabulous right so he goes off he found what he was looking for and so we went from there straight to the putana for 10 days and while I sat there meditating for 10 days many things happened but this woman came back into my dreams and to my meditation two or three times all I was there like with the same message you know I have something for you come back and see me you know I have to teach you what I know it just kind of came to me like that and when I came back after the deposit and meditation which was also fabulous many other reasons because for the possums no but if that would happen I would it is yeah we can tell the audience it's ten days where you are the group you're living and eating in a group but you're supposed to be silent observing yourself not even making eye contact with other people and sitting there's three hours of mandatory meditation but then there's like I don't know five six other horses meditating which are a bit more optional but most people would do it either in their room or in a meditating hall and I was pretty good I observed I woke up at 4 a.m. I went and meditated in the hall and I was very impressed with myself and through that basically the meditation is supposed to be the technique that the Buddha used this is what SN Goenka says basically you sit and you observe your breathing for the first three days and then basically you start scanning your body for sensations so tickling prickling heat just observe it let it be and see what happens to it and then you cleanse the body with these vibrations up and down like a basic cleanse of the entire body and I believe the philosophy behind that is that whatever the darker denser areas will eventually be brought back to life by the cleansing vibrations and those darker denser areas are shifting they call it a Sankara so a sign car being like a something that is stuck in dents within you so this is what the Buddha used to cleanse himself and might mean and then share with others what I like about it variety of things is how it has to do with compassion for self and has to do with compassion for others as well once you've felt how much pain you are in then I feel like this compassion can be extended to others and there's also a last part of the meditation which is a heart self meditation where you kind of focus in the heart area and you feel love and compassion for the rest of the world they start off with people that you know you imagine them and you visualize them and then you kind of send off this like love and compassion vibration I think this is going to heal the world including ourselves know why do you not call yourself a Buddhist because we could have done Catholic versus Buddhist because Buddha from what I understand is an example and let's follow that example and that I am as precious important and even more of a teacher to myself then he will ever be to me do you think your eternal in one direction or in both directions or do you think you have a beginning and an end or just the beginning or no beginning and no end you as a being in my last meditation I feel like I've experienced a death and a rebirth the dying part was really scary but interesting that I could take it as far I never I I didn't take as far as to actual dying but in the in the same day of meditation there was a rebirth so I think maybe if there is no death really I don't even wanted to electrolyze it so much because I'd to me my path is about experience okay I have heaven awaiting me if i play my cards right what do you have experience Lee awaiting you in the best case scenario I like the idea of this is what I say but who knows what's going to happen is - it's maybe 120 and to spend at least in the last 20 years or so meditating and seeing where that takes me and I really feel like for observing these dense energies inside my body healing happens and freeing up of different energies happens I feel like I want to free up all this potential I think that if I was to sit down and meditate for I don't know let's say it takes a month then I could sit down on that piano and play whatever I want this is where God consumed but God to me is higher consciousness and love God is love to me God is inside could God be even before the creation of the physical universe or does he need biological entities like yourself in order to subsist I'm not sure do you believe in the physical reality yes okay Buddhists don't but you're not Buddhist so there you go you're G I don't even like yeah there you go what do I believe I believe that physical reality is a denser form of a higher form that's lighter and more free-flowing and I believe that if I have a cancer in my body it is basically some densified Sankara that shows up and gives me pain and gives me trouble because it wants to be singing it wants to be adverb it wants to be cleansed and it's up to me to figure out how to do that so how does all this alternative medicine or spirituality play into your day job and what is it that you do and how did you come to do is I want you to connect the dots oh I'm not officially a midwife I'm a doula okay and what's the difference doula has no clinical responsibilities so we educate we teach with prepare for birth and we're therefore to suggest to massage to you know be very hands-on and so yeah that's my official work doula but I but I was grateful I was grateful for that dream and that image in that clear visual apparition walk through my meditation but I was looking back as here but I came back to Montreal and I looked it up as I sleep every day what I what there's some sort of school for its and training something and I found the NHC the natural healing consultant Institute so I go sitting in their library and I'm like going can we look at these books and see what this is all about first book I see attract my attention I pick up and it's called spiritual midwifery I'm like okay I got to go here though is it that was I'd buy fix some classes there for a couple of years I took some personal development classes you know nutrition classes energetic healing classes like a cranial sacral therapy through that I did some Reiki as well but in the past my frowns upon that so this is what I'm talking about organized things okay they're like they refuse me on the basis of you do Reiki and in our experience it's not compatible with the pasta meditation and then years later I apply it again and I didn't write it down so they'd accepted me and so now I applied to go again this year they refused me on the basis that I do Reiki without yet again be writing down that I do Reiki am I going okay so this is how I understand any path I believe that your path my any religion any philosophy is fabulous and fantastic as long as you take it all the way through but when it is interpreted by the mass of people around it and then then as an individual I have to like comply with other people's interpretation that hinders my freedom I you know what last time I thought about it I felt into it and just think about I felt into it and there was definitely something about this portion of my body when I was observing it the upper question is like yes there was a dissolution of my foie gras at some points by observing observing observing and cleansing and observing cleansing matter dissipates okay there's no more matter you're all like these particles without definition is part of everything else it's called spunk and to me when that happened in this particular last time the lower part was still solid but the upper part would disappear it's like the fabulous Bond girl wanted but Bhangra means the entire this is well it means the solution of physical boundaries like true connection to all and everything and somehow I don't know if I have something to do with the break that there is something then there was a buzzing - maybe they're right that it's not compatible I don't think it's not compatible I think a new Reiki practitioner may have a hard time dealing with how strong the sensation is what if you're putting yourself in danger without realizing it you sit down and meditate what kind of danger maybe to go crazy a little bit that's possible have you ever felt a little bit loopy ever I'm always Whoopi when I met you I was working at the space agency in safety where Quebec and I really was babbling with insanity as a hobby on my way home from work I would talk to myself and talk nonsense and at first it was just silly but then it took over a little bit yeah you know from having read Dostoyevsky and the idiot basically these moments of intense illumination that are not well accepted understood and supported because it's so different from your regular day-to-day interactions with people on with life and this and that if you're not in the context of fully understanding and having people around you that can explain what's happened and how you best can integrate that experience into your life then that you become disconnected from reality so what intense experiences are intense I mean I'm looking into doing ayahuasca maybe but surrounded by people who understand and know the experience and can carry for you a little bit you know I and you can share and it's not considered to be weird and strange and so I'm telling you through these meditations I mean I've had Darleen arising everytime the Kundalini Rises a bit more in last time I went up to my third chakra and it was like I just want to say for the record that I believe in a spiritual world where they're demons right I don't you believe that we have demons inside of us all do you thank our other demons yeah I'm very cautious about all that kind of stuff new age and the difference is that these demons need to be welcomed and they need to be observed with compassion I don't consider the demons my friend I consider them my enemy you you would see them are as a friend or I would see them as an ally a temporary Ally okie-dokie and what is their destiny ultimately the demon yeah is there a happy ending for the demons from their subjective experience I believe that part of my soul whatever you want to call it is that is that love that God that and all that power that comes with it but fantastic fabulous power is your higher self identical with my yourself I think for okay so we are wanting you would say we are one really ultimately the ultimate reality that's my feeling of it are you pro-life are you pro-choice with abortion I don't think the soil needs to be populated I don't feel like we need more people in this world to be more brilliant or to work harder or to whatever it is I feel like we have to take care of the ones who are here and when I think about yeah but what about for for babies that were conceived or fetuses that were conceived I think for having had abortions myself that every conception and every life as short as it is has a meaning has a place and so I think every every life short or long is perfect and purposeful and we need to focus on bettering ourselves and not necessarily creating more humans in this world that won't necessarily have the love and the care and the attention and the consciousness to develop into prophets usually in the second part of the interview I asked people if they have any questions about my conversion or my faith anything about Christianity in general or Catholicism for having learned and read a little bit I think I understand and there's no I mean I'm not going to ask why sexuality such a horrible bad and terrible thing you know can I just say in the defense of the church that sex is not evil it's good it's it's a very very high and dignified good that's why we treat it with such respect and we don't just treat it like sharing a bag of chips right then for example in the Orthodox religion Queen Mary right this is why because these people who are priests was supposed to be the servants of God the ones who are most dedicated well maybe they're not at the point where they cannot address their sexuality right so if you're still at the place where you got it you need you want you desire in a wholesome hearty way then why not they should never be an imposition from without it has to be a calling from God Almighty to the priesthood and you have to discern am I called to celibacy because we're all called to chastity even those who are married are called the chested a chastity just means pure sexuality where it's it's a property is that what I mean it's a yeah it's a proper pure sexuality sex as it was meant to be as God created sex but sex outside of marriage masturbation adultery all these sorts of things are forbidden why not because the pleasure is not good the pleasure is good it's because that's not what sex is made for so just to wrap up what would you say to anyone is listening life is wonderful and even though there's a lot of despair there's a lot of you know negativity surrounding me we can choose to see that as our enemy that's all the demons in the scroll could be our enemy or we can choose to look at them and say for the time being there are guides if Trump got elected it just mean that there's something we have to look at there's a sickness in our society and it's inevitable we can't it's like a cancer cancer in our society that keeps growing and growing and we can't get away from it but we can observe it and we can accept it and then true answers comes when we stay in that compassionate and accepting frame of mind so I I don't think we're doomed maybe some of us are doomed maybe some cancers of our society are going to eat us up who knows but I think it's all about staying present and compassionate and loving and accepting what is as it is and accepting that it'll pass and will change if you like it will of you if you can get your awesome questions at the end ok all you