so i think we're live i'm here with aiden again how are you doing aiden good how are you man i'm doing all right thank you very much what are you drinking this is um a free perrier energy drink that i got because i ordered my groceries online and nice they gave me a free perrier energy drink with like caffeine yeah caffeine and some gourana or something ooh guarana or whatever it is is that bad [�__�] it sounds like it so excuse my language but um no whatever it is it doesn't taste great so i added in some uh i added in some here's a plug for perrier it doesn't taste great i i added in some uh i have alpha mousse or whatever it's called uh grapefruit flavor and get pamped man i put that in and uh but the thing is it's uh it's making me nervous because all the caffeine i don't do caffeine normally really why not because it makes me nervous oh dude you're missing out wait so um uh the lakora the lacroix as i as i call it the lacroix pamplemoose um in the states we don't really call things pamplemousse the first time we ever saw that was on the the uh the fizzy drinks the the lacroix drinks that like okay pamplemoose became a thing it's just great it's just great for their grapefruit right what's the brand name yeah what's the brand name of the thing it's like it's lacroix let's see what it is but for a while i was really deep in the cut and uh looking up a lot of lacroix pamplemoose memes because they're just so stupid and a lot of them were like get pamped you know uh you know what la cua means right no i don't the cross does it yeah oh that quarter i didn't think the quad decreased now across so like why would it be used on uh like a fizzy drink it's just a popular french name like uh and there's a place called la qua in france i can google that okay oh is that a place it doesn't seem to be a place maybe i'm wrong about that maybe it's the name of uh a news publication oh yeah so enough about that that's it's not tangent too much but um yeah i've got about an hour because my wife uh wants that that's what i've got we've got dexter new blood to to jump into so we've got a first episode down and now we gotta see where this is going that's a serial killer guy yes it is he he is i thought he moved to your country but apparently it was just upstate new york and i'm disappointed that he went from florida to new york instead of florida to canada so i was just like look at that ah but cool so what season is it it's like the ninth or something like that oh yeah but uh that reminds me this is not a good segue but i should uh share the link with matthew murdock because i told him i would give him the link and he can hop in here share it to kieran let him uh oh well kieran's gonna be painting but share it to him just in case he wants to to come and talk hop on yeah okay of course he wants to hop on let's see a couple of dudes hey yo oh man he really railed me the uh the other day in like one of these chats that we're in okay so he it was so good um he was talking to one of his friends who i believe is an orthodox priest or a deacon his last name i think is deacon so i think it's i think his name is father deacon um but um kieran uh what how does he say this he's just so ridiculous um hold on a second he talks that this guy is like chatting he's saying he needs to lose some weight and karen's like funny story aiden lost a lot of weight and uh um he said he just woke up one day and stopped smoking cigarettes and decided that he had to had to lose a lot of weight and then he was like um then he proceeded to say that it was from my having danced in a bunch of gay bars i believe like all right karen got me there he's obsessed with you and gay sex that those are his two obsessions karen yeah yeah i've been told that i'm obsessed with poop okay that's why he's attracted to you i guess i guess so it makes a lot of sense all right david i've got some questions for you today actually sure all right so we we've been talking about the rosary and um i wanted to know how long you have been praying it well i since the beginning like since my conversion in 2009 so you've had over 10 years of consistently praying this devotion yeah i've yep what's the biggest block i've ever skipped that's a good question um i think i've never skipped more than two days a week i don't think i've ever done more than that but i only do that i don't do the full rosary you know as you know no it's like five decades yeah you've done it but you've done five decades pretty consistently consistently yeah the the promise to get the promises you have to do a full rosary once per week did you know that of the conference do you mean the conference yeah you knew about that so yeah um as long as you do it four times a week you're pretty much covered right if you do different if you do different mysteries i follow the classic i follow the classic uh monday tuesday thing okay schedule um just mondays and tuesdays no no but i mean i'm just i don't wanna name all seven days of the week i think you should i don't wanna show off come on um so that's that's a really long time and that's really impressive because like the rosary at some points becomes so repugnant to the to the practitioner now ask me how many times i've actually paid attention while praying it no but that's like that's a key part nobody has ever successfully done one of them well i don't i i just don't believe it in my in my heart i think saint louis demolifor did you think he did yeah do you think so yeah i think a lot of the saints did i think a lot of the saints did that's what i like to think andre pio probably did too that dude was a monster he was always he was floating in the air like you said you told me uh jp2 floated in the air right yeah that's what i've heard i mean i'm trusting the people you told me that i believe yeah definitely um what about you what about you how much how often and how consistently have you been doing it for how many years uh the end of 2017 is when i decided to make a commitment to it um and i've had periods of time where like i've gone like the first year i did it every single day for a full year you know just a five decade and then um called uncle at a certain point and like have gone periods of time weeks or months without without it and then would like pick it up and recommit and pick it up and recommit i failed so many times with it um but i've also had moments with it where i pray it more than more than the five decades um a day because it's my primary it's my primary prayer so if i just you know at this point i've built up enough of a relationship with it where i know like okay i have no reason not to squeeze five decades in every day um because if i worse comes to worse i can just pray the sorrowful mysteries which is like sadistic to think this way but it's like well those are always easy for me because like you know suffering and it's tuesday today is really sorrowful tuesday yes it is do you do so you do follow the the recommended thing you don't no i just do i just do whatever i feel inspired okay so yeah yeah i try not to be too scrupulous with that with me because i'm just like you know what if i'm picking it up and i'm praying like like one of the traditional sets i don't really care and if i end up praying more then i then i'm like i'm sad so today i prayed um the sorrowful and the joyful and with no intentions of playing praying the joyful i was just going to pray the sorrowful all day i was basically just going to repeat it because i do that at times too where i do nothing but pray the you know the sorrowful mysteries um i found whatever i found a new uh a new thing that i tried twice and uh i'll bounce the idea off you and see how you feel about it sure okay so um you know i know it's kind of a bad habit playing video games but there's this new video game i'm obsessed with which is very wholesome and there's no sex or violence in it um but it's very calm and there's no stress there's no pressure there's no time there's nothing you just you're just building stuff okay okay minecraft it's called uh astroneer astroneer and uh it's just a cute little game kind of like a lego mechanic everything is clicky and little sound effects as you build your little things and whatever okay so it's just kind of like if you want to do a brain dead activity that's kind of fun like playing with blocks it's kind of like that but for adults i guess so anyway um what i did is i said okay i wasn't in the mood to pray my rosary it was a saturday or a sunday i forget which but um i'm obsessed with this game so i thought okay while i'm playing this mindless game what if i do the rosary but because i'm not really paying attention because i'm playing a game while praying my rosary that's not really very good but what if i do like an hour and a half and i do all uh how many mysteries are there 20 if i do all 20 mysteries because i have um i like to listen to it i like it's like a it's a nice way to pray the rosaries to listen to it so i put it on it's actually my own version with my own voice so it's kind of like it's me praying sure so i did that it was like an hour and a half and um you know not really paying attention but just kind of absorbing it so um i kind of like the idea of working myself into a spa head space where i can feel comfortable with because normally i would have a heart attack like a panic attack thinking about oh my god i have to do like all 20 mysteries it's too much of a commitment and too much too much time and like i'm just going to be on the edge of my seat the whole time like am i going to get through this and whatever but it was nice because i just said look this is a freebie thing it's kind of like a half-hearted rosary but i make up for it by doing an extra long one 20 mysteries which i don't normally ever do and um i enjoyed it like i enjoyed that and i think if i get in the habit of doing that it'll put me in a more relaxed state because my prayer life is always nervous um but i was completely relaxed as i was just sort of mucking about building stuff in my video game and listening to that so just want to get your feedback about like the pros and cons of that and uh how much that counts like does that count as doing the rosary or not or yeah so i guess i have some prettier liberal views on what counts and what doesn't count but i think that prayer in different contexts like just praying and being okay with praying badly and praying in weird ways and like praying um just in moments that can that like people would consider inappropriate i think that those are really beneficial because we're supposed to be striving to pray at all times and so like if you're playing a video game and you're like decompressing and you're using that also as prayer time i think that's really special and that like it's kind of just a it's kind of just bizarre in general to think of that but it's like why why not like why do we always have to like compartmentalize yeah we always have to compartmentalize so um and not only that but it's like pruning your neural networks so that like um like you're saying like because you're you're you're giving yourself a stimulus you know um uh like a lot like you know in this case you're attempting to do something for a longer amount of time that would usually elicit some form of extreme anxiety because i'm sure you still experience the anxiety even with just five decades right yeah yeah because you still feel like you have to get it done yeah yeah yeah right so it's like exposure you're exposing yourself to something that would normally elicit that like fear or like that fight this is an addiction i think this is an addiction i think yeah i mean yeah yeah i think so because what you're you're but you're just like allowing yourself to like get comfortable um just being around something so like when it's like exposure therapy and so you know like if you were afraid of a dog you wouldn't just go up to dogs and start petting them you'd be like ten feet away from a dog then seven feet away then six feet five feet four feet that type of thing until eventually just sitting next to the dog and then petting the dog and then petting the dog for one minute two minutes three minutes that type of thing so if you're listening to yourself um pray the rosary i see no reason why that wouldn't uh why that wouldn't be incredibly spiritually beneficial and um and count for your uh your prayer for the day especially if you have like a passive receptiveness to the whole to the whole process yeah and here's the other here's the other mind boggler so now that we have the internet and we have uploaded videos right you can like pray you can pray along the rosary with like groups of people that have prayed years ago and they've recorded it and uploaded it yeah and i always wonder okay so if i'm like playing a video of like a whole bunch of nuns and mother angelica and they're all playing praying this chaplain or praying this rosary like is god hearing their prayers as many times as they have hits on youtube and i like to think that like yeah that becomes like frozen in eternity and not only does it like accrue those prayers over and over again but every viewer that watches it and like prays along with it there's this like big cyclical ever-increasing um prayer that kind of like rebounds through through eternity nice like a fractal kind of prayer through space and time and all that yeah yeah and i mean that's how prayer is anyway because it goes outside space and time so yeah i found a nice um a nice youtube video okay i've got two things to say one is uh they do zoom rosary every day uh twice a day on a local catholic radio station here in montreal and i haven't tried i just learned about it today on the radio as i was driving around at work the other thing is i found a really nice uh rosary let me see if i can find the reference for you here quickly and uh let's just say joyful mysteries and i can find the one can you hear if i play audio will you be able to hear it don't know insane can you hear anything mary invites us to join her on a journey through the life of jesus when you listen back you'll hear the holy spirit okay i'm just gonna let this play for two seconds of the mother of our savior because we say the rosary with our body and our spirit it should touch us at every level of our being it is no monotonous ritual but a deeply contemplative christian prayer okay so hello um when you listen back if you listen back to this you'll hear it and you'll see the channel and all that stuff so i don't need to tell you about it but um i can't see you and i can't see myself right now oh here we are okay i'm back so it's a nice it's a nice uh rosary that they do it sounds like the guy might be east asian or something like that and there's singing and it's always the same music it's the same presentation but it gives a nice little meditation like just small very small meditations with the mysteries that's really cool they do the at the end they do the um what is it called the litany of our lady is that what they call it um are you familiar with that no i mean i know i mean i know i've heard it before i know i've read it before but um litany of loreto i think it is the litany of loretto yeah i am familiar yeah uh lord of mercy christ have mercy lord well this is a slightly different version than what i do heard those before but it just goes on and on i pray it uh every day i've actually memorized it have you really yeah i've memorized a whole bunch of prayers it's one of the things i love most about prayer even though i'm not good at prayer and i get nervous during prayer one of the things i really love is because i've always complained that i don't have a good memory but i've managed to memorize like a whole buttload of prayers excuse my language what a load of prayers buttload man you're so naughty i should publish a book like uh david's buttload of prayers be awesome and it would be great anyway uh yeah it's like it's like uh it's a it's something i enjoy is trying to use my memory for example let's say that you and i both know some guy like whatever because we watched his video or whatever okay and you're like oh do you remember that guy that did the video about uh litany of loretto and i'm like yeah and you're like what was his name again and then i would have to like search my memory and i'd be like don't tell me let me try to find it right in my memory and i don't want to look it up i want to find it in my memory that's one of my favorite things to do like is is to say is to tell myself david you know this guy's name right because you've been exposed to it x number of times you know that you know it's in your memory so um now it's a fun game to try to find that to scan to search around and find it but to watch to watch the process of trying to find it and to try to figure out what is it that leads you to that information okay is there an explicit um technique that works or is there um are there loose associations that you go to like i like examining that thought process of that's pretty cool searching the memory because it's very uh it's very mysterious the mind the human mind and the memory and the imagination and um like i mean i'm a little bit cautious about the imagination because of the orthodox and how the orthodox talk about don't don't indulge it don't indulge it don't explore it and all that but sometimes when i'm having trouble falling asleep at night i do tell myself okay you can uh allow yourself as long as it's not pornographic imagery you can allow yourself now to kind of let images come to you and i mean in eastern religion meditation they use i think they they shun imagery but they also explore going beyond imagery so i'm not sure how that works maybe you could talk about that but i don't know too much about um i don't know too much about imagery in eastern meditation in that in that context i know that they use a lot of visualization but that's like in um that's like a whole other field of um what's it called like the secret like it's like self-manifestation so it's kind of like here see yourself owning that that volkswagen jetta and it'll be yours i don't know why i picked a jetta but you know that kind of thing but i didn't really get too much into what's a because this episode is brought to you by jeddah and i'll stand by for those peace announcements do you ever watch your youtube videos and they have like they're just having a conversation and then suddenly the segway segway into the sponsor have you seen that i'm not well yeah i guess with pints with aquinas there's like different things but it's it's like you know the um catholic content yeah it's all it's all like catholic stuff there that they're advertising so if i see the um what's the what's the lent program that all the dudes do and they all brag about it and they all have to talk about it exodus 90. okay i'll do man don't worry about it tired of hearing about it it's like so overly catholic it's annoying it's like okay we get it you like to fast that's cool we got to be real men here like uh yeah yeah yeah that whole man's movement i've never really looked into it too much it's cool it's got benefits and even the exodus 90 program is cool i just don't like somebody imposing me you know with like cold showers oh yeah yeah you know what i mean like one of my guests uh talked about that and i'm like oh my god you must be a saint to do that like no that's the thing is that it like it's the it's the asceticism but like like i don't know i i have a maybe it's because i'm jealous i'm probably just jealous it's okay like it's okay to be jealous right well i mean it's okay you just can't be envious okay is that it yeah yeah it's jealousy is jealousy is you want the good thing that they have and envy is you don't want them to have it and you want them to be deprived of it and you want them to suffer because do i want them no i don't want any of that for them i just don't want them to talk about it no because it's just like because it equates it equates asceticism with holiness and it's like well yes and no it's like saying like suffering and sorrow equate love it's like they only equate love they only merit something is if you intentionally use them um alongside of love so like sorrow you know and and uh and uh self-deprecation or only only working if we're doing it for the love of god and doing it for the love of man otherwise in and of itself it has no merit so like me you know like showering in cold water and not watching netflix for 90 days to talk about it with a bunch of bros doesn't mean anything unless of course i'm you know using it to become more humble and using it to get to golf yeah so um but i guess i shouldn't call anybody out on that yeah yeah yeah well you know i mean honestly i think okay i think that um i agree with you that there could be pride involved like jesus said don't be like the hypocrites that show their they're wearing ashes on their head and sackcloth and all that with their fasting and all that sort of thing don't make a public display because they've already had the reward right you're better off saving your reward for heaven and all that so um i agree with that but i also i mean i can't help but admire people that have any discipline or any self-control or any temperance or moderation like i just can't help but admire them even if even if they're doing it for all the wrong reasons i still think wow right and even if it's amazing for the reason for the wrong reasons there's no real way to say to like put a finger on it and say like see that one's doing it for the wrong reasons we just don't know we don't know the hurt so but here's the cool thing about stepping on the gas going full throttle with that stuff so like i always have a hard time there's a certain group on youtube um uh gabby after hours he does some really good stuff um and he like talks about the rosary but a lot of them are really hyper into four a day you know and like dude my whole life changed since i've since i've been praying for a day the complete rosary yeah which is like admirable but at the same time it's that's a big that's a big time commitment and so um i'm like you know it is possible it's definitely possible because like i saw this and i was like you know what i'm gonna i'm gonna make an attempt to do this and i did it for an extended period of time over december and january wow um and it was a really cool experience but it's a really but here's the thing though david like you do it at the expense of other things so like spiritual reading kind of kind of drops down because you don't really have time to do that um like the bible or watching like like watching netflix yeah well no but and then and then you also find that a lot of the time to get it done to meet your commitment for the day you're praying at inopportune times so i'd be like shopping at the mall and i'm like praying and half praying half shopping and it's like you can't you can't really do one or the other very well you know and uh but the cool thing is about that is that you um it's like working out you only know your boundaries you only know what you're capable of by accidentally doing too much or by doing too little like you you come to learn more about yourself and about the practice through um committing yourself to doing to doing something that's out of your normal range and then from that experience i was like oh five is nothing well and whereas five used to really um you know five decades would like there'd be days when i'm just like i don't wanna i really don't wanna do it it would like emotionally crush me because i'm just like oh i feel like i'm being drugged down by this dead weight yeah and um and you know from that experience it's like you know one one rosary versus four rosaries is um very very doable and there's no reason why because there's no reason why you can't do it there's so many opportunities throughout the day or you can you can go back to your prayer you can break it up yeah you can go back to it and so um so while i don't necessarily think that like um i don't know there's just something about harping on quantity yeah um that i that i always have a real struggle with you know i like understand where they're coming from because you can't see really good fruits come from it um but you can also see you know like some of the negative aspects of it too yeah i i can be uh i'm gonna be honest here and it might be embarrassing but um if i if the church didn't so strongly recommend the rosary i just would not pray it i would not pray i would not pray i would not pray because right i don't it's not my natural instinct it's not like it's not something where i felt like i'm benefiting from it it's only because the church says hey this is really important and uh all the popes and all the indulgences and all the saints and everyone like i mean i just i can't ignore that i cannot i cannot ignore the weight that the magisterium gave it and the saints gave it and that everyone's giving it i just can't ignore that but right left to my own devices if i didn't know about all that i just would not do it i would i my prayer life would be a lot simpler right because i wouldn't do the rosary i wouldn't do any really fixed prayers ever what would you do i would just do the little spontaneous prayers that i love so much like just i love you and thank you and please help me and i'm sorry that's it you know that's it like just little ejaculatory prayers like ding ding ding ding and maybe maybe the jesus prayer like the jesus prayer i do have an attraction to it i do pray it i pray it's like my back burner prayer that's just it's if i find myself unloaded it's ray it's ready to come out like if i'm frustrated and if i'm annoyed and which happens a lot like when i'm when i lack patience i go to the jesus prayer you know that's cool yeah yeah that's really cool and i'm finding that i'm as i'm getting older and as sort of the past two years of pandemic and the lack of access to the sacraments i find that i'm more impatient and irritable and just nasty and so the jesus prayer comes out a lot like today i ripped my jacket like carrying because my bikes get stolen like there's no tomorrow i think it's karma because i used to steal bikes when i was a kid and uh so i've had like 20 or 30 bicycles stolen in my adult life from for real from me yeah yeah wow dude so i think that's a bit of karma but i try to accept it you know i just accepted and i thank god for humbling me in that way and for giving me the punishment in his life and these sorts of things but i was carrying my my new used bike because now i just buy used bikes because i lost so much money on expensive bikes that got stolen but um i was carrying my used bike up the staircase because i can't leave it outside and i live on the third floor so it's a lot of lugging bike heavy bikes up the stairs and i get my jacket gets dirty and today i ripped it like carrying this bike up a narrow stairwell and uh things like that like just that aggravate me and i was just annoyed and so there's this impulse to say i think i've mentioned to you this to you before where i have an impulse to say jesus christ as a as a curse word like a lot of people do and i just flow it into the jesus prayer and keep praying that over and over again cool but that initial moment is genuine frustration and it's a pejorative use of that word jesus christ right and so i just i don't beat myself up about it i just say no that's not the way and i just roll with the the proper use of the word and the name because it's a powerful name really cool it's a powerful name it's a powerful name um even for satan he wants to inspire me to misuse the name it's powerful for him and it's powerful for the good guys right so it's like just like sex like it's sex is good for satan because he can win a lot of souls with sex and sex is good for god because he can win a lot of souls with sex right so it's saying with food say you can win a lot of souls with food and god can win a lot of souls with food right the misuse of food and the proper use of food the misuse of sex and the proper use of sex like every good is a tool for satan and a tool for god for both of them to win souls that's how i see it yeah i really like that i think that's cool that you like reorient yourself to do something because that's really all you can do once you uh you know once you decide to to to make a change is just continually redirect until one day it just comes naturally or that stuff just kind of sloughs off like if i said the f-bomb instead then i couldn't really there's no prayer that stops it starts with the f-word right just kidding i'm kidding i'm kidding i'm sure that they're i'm sure there are tons of them what no not the ejaculatory ones the ones that are uh the ones that are off the cuff i'm sure those are the ones that contain the f word you know um they're very genuine i i think that uh there's something to be said about humanity admitting their their dirty broken awful just situations and meeting god in that situation um i think it's cool this conversation is reminding me of uh oh kieran says aidan is gay i didn't know that i think we have to end the conversation i don't speak with gay guests and uh he says hey aiden great shirt so uh yeah i just it's good karen i just read he should hop on the call here even though we don't have a lot of time left we have about half an hour left um the uh i just read a quote by a saint and he said um the reason that humility is the best tool we have one of the reasons i'm paraphrasing here obviously one of the reasons is because satan doesn't understand humility he just has no clue about humility he's never experienced it he's not capable of it he doesn't get it it doesn't make sense to satan like it just he there's nothing for him to grab a hold of with humility it's just completely foreign to him and this is a very long paraphrase of a really pithy uh statement which i wish i could uh regurgitate but i can't remember what he said but the basic idea was satan doesn't get humility he just just doesn't understand it and that's why it's so effective against him so what are your thoughts because it can because it confounds him yeah it seems that all the virtues are like that he doesn't understand love either and um uh humility is one of the weapons um i think it's it's the mentioned in the ways of mental prayer um dom fahody la hodi vitalis la hodi um uh like like if you find yourself doing something in prayer that's wrong or incorrect you use it as a moment to humble yourself and then you're you're brought to a place that's better having humbled yourself and having experienced that fault hey um hey sinner and that's why that's why we confound satan because it's something that's immediately used to turn sin into something um that warrants even greater grace cool hey your brother your brother looks wild i am i'm painting right now ah cool painting from painting for my buddy at uh at church oh wow yeah yeah yeah it's very good it's very good sandwich yes yes looking good bro okay oh shush you hey karen people at work saw uh some pictures of you and saw like your video of you making tea and they're like yeah aiden he's just like you he's just not as good looking oh i'm sure they said that no no that was legitimately one of the comments that was made yeah yeah it was awesome wait i wasn't even in that video i wasn't my face wasn't even no your face wasn't in that video but i made sure to back it up with a photograph of you so that way they would know that i'm that i am related to you but that you are like the uh you know um i'm the better verse hey did you okay did you do you did you do your cutting around the all the trim and everything uh no my my uh my boss david did that because i'm a noob at painting and uh yeah i wouldn't trust myself to do that otherwise i would have to tape it first and that would take more time so yeah so don't judge me basically i can give you i can give you one tip right now all right go ahead put more paint on the roller then you put more paint on the roller how does that sound why'd you let him in on this uh this conversation this is uh this is gonna just happen this is this is really gonna flounder yeah no no no just let's just ignore him and he'll work he'll work and we'll talk and he'll listen he'll keep did you catch david's um comments on uh the jesus i caught his comments on uh remembering a buttload of prayers and everything following okay that's good yeah right it says that's a that's a good way to look at it saying jc in a derogatory way and then turning that into the prayer of jesus yeah yeah and then flowing with it so did you know uh i invited matthew murdoch and i sent him the link and he might join us if he gets home from whatever yeah wow that's awesome he emailed me and uh i guess you guys haven't talked to him in a couple of weeks or months weeks or months yeah it's been a while it's been a while shut up aiden okay fair enough so uh yeah that would be exciting i don't know he's been emailing me like once per month kind of thing like over the past two or three months and so how's it going i'm hoping i don't know anything i don't know anything he's just like hey i've been thinking about you and uh we should catch up and it never happens so i think he's probably busy and uh but let's hope that we can have a group chat sometime i'd like to get um nick stumphouser on here too you guys have met him right now oh yeah yeah it's awesome i haven't met nick no he's no i actually i don't know if i met him either i might have spoken with him via email but um okay yeah i don't think i actually talked with him put more but i would definitely be definitely down for that yeah so let's get back to the religious content so um humility uh just a real quick recap of what you just said before your brother came in sorry oh i said that you you were saying that satan's confounded by humility and i said that when you use humility um uh in moments of sinfulness you actually take the sin that you just committed and then you weaponize it against itself and you make it into a greater good and that's probably like the component of it that really confuses satan um because you have this opportunity to take whatever he's throwing at you and uh and use it for for good yeah and that would actually probably make him rage if anything else and you know which makes me very happy you know uh speaking of speaking of humility leading to happiness um i'm trying because i've been sort of mildly slash moderately depressed over the past two years because of covet and different things in my family and whatever um and because of not having access to the sacraments and stuff like that it's just like weakened me spiritually and you and i have talked we've talked privately about stuff like that but anyway um one thing i read i think it was saint alphonsus liguri and many other saints probably talked about how we need to have a simple a simplicity in front of god with our sins and we have to have always joy like the saints always had joy even if it made suffering and whatever sorrow for sin they always had joy so we need to have this joy and i think uh my goal as a christian is to use that as a litmus test like do i have the joy of christ if not then basically i'm sort of still enslaved by satan and so the the litmus test is to have the freedom to have the joy because when you feel bad about your weakness or your sinfulness because i've been more i've been more sinful this past two years than i was the previous 10 years combined um when you feel heavy when you feel sad when you feel guilty when you feel depressed when you feel all these things that's not the christian way that's not the christian way it's not and it's pride it's pride because he said oh how could i fall or how could i turn to eat my vomit like a dog you know like this this idea like it always comes back to me like i'm like a dog i'm just like a disgusting beast and i have no self-control and just you know worm and i'm just a faithless sinner and all this sort of thing and this sort of uh self-deprecation it's okay to a certain extent as long as you maintain your joy but when it becomes like a a toxic self-hatred or some kind of um darkness that's that's an indication that it's prideful and you need to remember like hey like that like uh saint teresa of avila said i think uh she said look this is what i do like when she would sin and her sins were nothing compared to mine but when she would sin she'd say to god this is this is what i do this is what i'm capable of this is what i bring to the table right so if you want more of that god then just continue to let me be me but if you want me to be christ-like then you need to you need to come and take the wheel as the protestants would say jesus take the wheel you know take control and let your will be done because if it's going to be my will it's going to be done this is what you get right this is what you get every time so it's a sort of like a simple um matter of fact statement that this is what i bring to the table nothing but ugliness sin selfishness whatever and i acknowledge that you already know that because you're god you know everything but like hey can we go back to where i'm in a state of grace and where i'm doing your will that would be great you know i mean that sort of matter of fact thing and um not getting heavy about the fact that oh my god like uh like over dramatizing dramatizing the what you bring to the table or pretending like you know suddenly um it's no longer the case because if i look back at my own personal history with sin it's like i was sort of sinning as a an atheist or whatever you want to call me for most of my adult life and then i had my conversion and then i had a lot of graces and i wasn't sinning as much and then with the past two years i started sort of reverting back to like a dog eating my vomit to a certain extent and i don't like it but the the displeasure and the heaviness is pride and if i were just like a saint i would just in a very clean clear matter-of-fact way say well yes of course this is what i do on my own without you without the sacraments and without a proper prayer life so i just want you to uh give your two cents on that i know it was a very rambling and sloppy portrayal of the the saints words and ideas but uh did you get the message what i'm talking about i did um and i would like to say that like i don't like the word more when it comes to like analyzing like our own sinfulness because i don't know if we have the vantage point necessary to say like oh yeah i'm sinning more because the uh the context has changed so like the longer you go uh like you know the the longer your walk is the more that you've been involved with your face things start to shift and there's less um less cookie and more and more you know more coal basically so like like you're not getting consolations you're not getting certain things like you did certain graces things just aren't handed to us after a while so like objectively you can say yeah i'm committing more of this sin and it's like well yeah maybe you've been committing more of that sin but the circumstances around it are that you've been um you've been here for a while and you've had a chance to like let like the fire die a little bit things cool down and so um you're not getting rewarded you're not getting rewarded in the same way so maybe that merit maybe how you're behaving now maybe your um maybe your responses to it are actually more uh beautiful in the eyes of the lord um compared to like when you first converted and you were sinning less and and and like being oriented towards holiness or or whatever you want to say um because you know uh it wasn't as it wasn't as difficult for you it was it was you know more god and less yeah you know less david the the image that comes to mind as you're speaking there is of the the little child i don't know how old but very uncoordinated helping uh his father or let's say mother okay helping the mother to make supper like to make the salad to cut the vegetables into or to make a cake or whatever it is um i'm just using this image because it's easy to understand how a child would make a mess in the kitchen we could use the image we could use the image in the work shed too of the boy helping his father to build a shelf or something but i like the cooking analogy best because it's not really not a big deal like if he makes a mess in the kitchen and like it's um you can still salvage the meal kind of thing and the parent knows the parent knows that the child is not ready to be an adult and to cook a proper meal but it's just training and um when the mother is holding the wooden spoon with the child and holding the hand of the child to make the stirring motion and the cake turned out beautifully and then the next time she sort of lets him stir on his own and add the ingredients on his own and he makes a big mess of everything and puts salt instead of sugar and whatever like the mother just smiles right because she knows there's no real harm done he's learning and uh it would just be it would just be prideful for that child to throw a tantrum when he realizes he's not like a michelin star chef yeah right karen what do you think um there's a so the one thing that david said uh i don't know if he was just talking about the saints in general but there's one saint i think of the russian church who said that um you know we shouldn't think that we're so sinful that god can't save us but we also shouldn't think that we're saints uh basically those two extremes are a delusion and rather we should say to ourselves that i'm a sinner but god loves me and i place my trust in my hope in him and so when i make a mistake i go to christ in his mercy and cain and panikiya will take care of it that's it nice uh kieran i got i got a notification that uh google meet only gives me one hour and it's been uh 48 minutes so quickly i want to get your take from the from the greek orthodox perspective um as you know as you know my wife is uh culturally greek orthodox and she is very very very sympathetic to uh the russians in the whole situation in europe with the ukraine she's very sympathetic and she showed me a couple of videos of uh greek orthodox priests and stuff like that she's very sympathetic and i tend to agree with her like i think i'm not naive enough to think that they're free from corruption or abortion or anything else in in the east but i do think that the people in the east do hate the corruption of the west and they don't want the corruption of the west can you just talk about that from an orthodox perspective okay so there's two splits so if yeah if you want to go if you want to go the greek route largely speaking and i belong to the greek church that's where i was received into the church in that jurisdiction but just keep in mind like i could go wherever i wanted but basically the greek church on the ground is very traditional but through the patriarchate and through the um the bishopric the greek church is typically more liberalized than any other than any other jurisdiction um so in terms of like i was at i was chanting at a pan orthodox vespers on saturday and um you know you could you could you could feel some like well i won't say too much but anyway there's there's a lot of opinion in the greek church about siding with uh ukraine and for us like what i say about it is that the geopolitics are very complicated and there's a lot we're not being there's a lot that we're being lied to about um and there's also a lot of prophetic words from the greek saints like saint paulios saint porphyrios a whole bunch of other saints basically who have said that russia is going to be the instrument of god's judgment yep to the west and um i totally i i fall in line with that position because um yeah putin's not a i don't agree with putin is but at the same time if we're looking at zielinski or any of the other presidents of the ukraine um that have been set up you know since to to now basically um it's all been cia run and it's uh really messy so they're they're what they're trying to do i mean russia basically said hey we have one stipulation you're taking all these countries around us and you're putting them into nato and you're trying to get them to join the eu ukraines where we draw our line don't push into ukraine don't have them join etc etc and that's the one thing that the us poked and said well we're gonna do that anyhow so all i know is that we're being lied to about a lot and the other thing is that patriarch uh kirill uh the the moscow patriarch he's not innocent either he should have condemned putin's actions in in invading quote because if you look at it in that sense it is technically an invasion though again i'm sympathetic um but he's been condemned by other uh russian bishops he's been not not condemned in the sense of like it's taken out of the diptychs not not being commemorated during liturgy stuff like that um so basically i see this as like another excuse for people to be russophobic and to uh trash on it's it's basically the cold war all over again um i just wanted to i wanted to emphasize more of the prophecies and from god's point of view the wrath of god and like king cyrus being used as an instrument of god in the old testament well well we've we've i mean look at ukraine now they're like number three in the world or whatever for stuff that i won't say but with children um okay that comes that comes that comes directly from the west and now we see the two one of the two biggest sins of the west number one would probably be abortion and the the second one would be pornography but yeah yeah um just in general just uh wait wait wait disgusting uh sexual exploitation google watches for keywords uh it's it's because it's the youtube i'm sure david will be fine because it's just small yeah yeah yeah i'm a small potato yeah um so how do you talk about it too but okay i was just like well how do you talk anyways so you have these two you have these two big things i'm rambling now but you have these two big you have these two big sins and uh for all the bad that russia has done and being aggressive or whatever um they you have to admit that since the fall of communism they have been a bulwark for the christian faith particularly in orthodoxy and their revitalization of not only our generation of people who are now spiritually inclined but also the east as a as a whole whether it's russia ukraine georgia all these countries they're now so traditionally minded that they won't even allow something like um a pride parade to go on so like that's important like that's really important stuff but of course because the west we would see that as something evil now even christians and uh heterodox christians within the west are seeing russia is completely evil even though they do all these really christian things so it's the whole thing is confusing and i mean like i said multiple saints have said um you know that russia would be the instrument of god's judgment basically yeah did y'all hear that pope francis is uh consecrating russia no way to to the immaculate no way yeah oh no way yep wow are you serious wow russia and ukraine wow when i don't know there was just an announcement today wow amazing i have to i have i have to ask like what is okay so like from the catholic perspective like because russia is not going to be like russia would not recognize that i'm just i would just be straight up now because we like the orthodox would look at that as um as uh heart worship basically we would look at it as like a form of nestorianism so like if russia is not receptive to being consecrated to the immaculate heart ukraine probably would be because there's lots of catholics in ukraine but russia not so much what's the like how does that play out in terms of fatima and all that kind of stuff if russia's not receptive to it doesn't matter um i don't know how i don't know if it works like that so like i don't know yeah um because are there are there russian catholics yeah yeah yeah very very tiny amount but yes um yeah i don't i don't really know like what this like i i don't understand how like i don't i don't know what the significance i guess would be because and fatima it was originally interpreted that russia would be converted to catholicism but when when sovietism you know um fell um and they saw that orthodoxy was having a revival within the russian church and the previous soviet bloc altogether um catholic theologians started reinterpreting it as well no they're just going back to orthodoxy but somehow that's what fatima meant all along and now this is not convinced of that there's debate among among even yeah among catholics you know what that means you know conversion to orthodoxy conversion to catholicism um yeah i don't know it's i don't know to be honest i'm not i'm not as interested in that stuff anymore as i used to be i guess but like i would think that it would be at least somewhat important that russia would get on that that russia would be on board with the consecration to be i don't think that's that that's how it works because the pope has has consecrated um the entire world um to to the immaculate heart and like consecrated different like countries to different things so i think it's just i mean he didn't like hey hey world is that cool he just did it well well if the entire world has already been consecrated then how come russia needs to be consecrated is our lady to be consecrated by name i don't i don't know who are you to question god wow that's that's under the presupposition that the pope speaks for god no we're talking about the apparition of our lady we're not talking about the pope oh well that's that's also operating under the presupposition that the apparition of our lady was yeah you don't have to you don't have to accept the apparition even we as catholics don't have to accept the apparition right be kind of foolish not yeah so if if it were if it were something that were demonically influenced for uh let's say what would be what would be the pitfall in my believing in it or not believing in it well i guess would be the question because um the question was your question was your question was um who are you to question god and my i'm saying that i don't presuppose that the apparition was legitimate so i don't think i'm questioning god well even even catholics are not obliged to believe that the apparitions are legitimate so it's kind of a moot point but i mean if i if i had a muslim and a jew come into my home and say individually in their own religious way i bless you and i ask the blessings of god to be upon you and your household and i want god to protect your household i would welcome that i would never question that i would i would celebrate that i would thank them i would add them to my permanent daily prayer list i would have nothing but gratitude and positive things to say to them and i would consider them my friends because they're helping me to get to heaven by bringing the blessings of god onto me and my household okay so that if i'm if i have that attitude attitude toward other monotheistic religions that aren't even christian imagine how i would feel as an orthodox about the pope of catholicism blessing uh bringing this blessing on the world by fulfilling uh what is ostensibly uh an apparition of our lady making a request right i would always see that as a positive thing always just like jesus said well just like jesus said if uh was it jesus who said it or was it saint paul who said uh as long as the name of christ is preached doesn't matter if it's for good reasons or bad right what was what did saint paul say read the bible whether they're with us is for whether they're with us or for us christ is being preached but the thing i i get what you're saying the sentiment is essentially that this person has a personal belief and they are wishing blessings upon me and how can that be a good thing and i would say on i would say on i would say on a personal level yes uh absolutely that person is is uh there's so many more pious muslims than there are christians probably yeah um but i but i would say that again um doctrine does matter and so like if we're talking about this on on the sacramental scale if we're talking about this on a global scale um and and also even on a let's just say a liturgical scale we would we sure it's it's one thing to have a muslim come into your home and say hey i'm going to pray for you yeah um and you could take that as one thing but it's a totally different thing to say you know uh we can pray together or um you know this is all basically um this is all good we don't need to actually hash out the differences so like we would never we would we we would never want to be confused i guess in those in those terms of like okay um this is a good thing that that other that catholics are seeing is a good thing and maybe pope francis has good intentions but um no thank you we don't believe in that so like he can do it but again like it would be something that we would we would say yeah it doesn't really mean anything because we don't number one it's not christ it's talking about uh the theotokos and number two it's the it's the immaculate heart which we don't affirm it's a it's a real big dip in theology there's a big uh chasm in that area so he's free to do it i suppose but uh i would say her heart is the flesh of christ i hope you realize that right her heart is the flesh of christ every every piece of her flesh is the flesh is the same flesh it's one flesh with christ i hope you do realize that it's the same flesh it's the same flesh it's the same flesh it's not a hard concept it's the same flesh mary's flesh is christ's flesh it's the same flesh i would like to think about that more yeah that mary was mary was mary was stretched wider than the heavens in order to be able to contain god the word within her womb and certainly she bore the savior of our souls but she bore christ in his human nature yeah his devi his divine personage was not difficult no but i'm not talking i think here one of the videos you sent to me was a was a monk talking about why the why god listens to mary um and her requests and it's because he borrowed a body and borrowed blood from her so like again yeah and and that's fine to say that it's ontologically the same i would have to look into more i don't know if that's accurate to say that and and number two um all of this again is operating off the presupposition that that that this is actually coming from the theotokos right right that fat amounts coming from that and i just i just don't i'm not convinced of that right but i'm not trying to be difficult yeah yeah yeah no problem but i'm just i i'm shocked and horrified that anyone would take exception with any honor that's prayed that's given to the blessed virgin mary any honor there's no honor that's too much honor and there's no praise that's too much praise other than saying that she's god she's not god she's a creature but other than saying that she's god almighty there's no praise that's too much praise there's no there's no attribution that's too much i don't think i don't think it's a matter of praise i think it's a matter of of splitting things i think it's a matter of splitting things up the whole notion again of immaculate heart and isolating that from any other particular part of the theotokos would be something we've just it's totally foreign to eastern orthodoxy so again i don't want to i'm not an authority i wouldn't want to speak and say yeah this is totally i would just say that classically speaking if you were to read like vladimir lawsky or any of the the contemporary theologians of our church they would categorically reject any type of heart fixation whether it's with christ or it's with the theotokos we just don't have that within our paradigm so that's why the problem of consecration to the immaculate heart in and of itself would be a problem right off the bat for us yeah and why russia why russia would just probably not be well not probably they would not be receptive to it i mean just based on that but you know what the thing is um blessings don't yeah the more that i think about it um they don't need to be it's not a blessing it's not a blessing it's it's a consecration it's a consecration different it's different yeah yeah and consecration is saying we're invoking the grace of god it naturally entails that and so again we would that would that would be difficult for us to affirm when you consecrate the host it's done by the grace the uncreated energies of god and so you're now saying that the immaculate heart this doctrine is on the same part as something like consecrating the bread and wine into the body and blood of jesus christ and i just personally can't affirm that no no it's not it's not it's not a consecration in that sense in that technical sense of the eucharist the consecration it's not you know you're conflating the two notions like when uh when i consecrate myself uh have you never consecrated yourself to jesus or to mary karen uh i mean not not consciously i i have my i have my um my dedication through christ i suppose so like hey christ uh you know jesus i try and pray to you every day i try and and devote myself to you and make every waking moment about you i suppose you could call that a consecration but as far as formally saying hey i consecrate myself to the body and blood or i consecrate myself to the immaculate heart like there's no there's real there's no notion of that within um you know that consecration it's a very precise term it's a very precise term uh we have tauntering too so you could be tortured into something you could be conscious of reader you could be i guess in a sense consecrated to that to that particular duty that particular instantiation of your walk with christ but um yeah it's not something that i don't think that you would undertake yourself apart from what your spiritual father says hey here's your prayer roll try and live by this just do that kind of thing you know what i mean i don't know if i'm making sense i'll let your brother respond while i search youtube i was actually looking at you david because i was wondering what you were uh what you were typing so like i heard some words i'm like those words are too big i don't care i don't know what he's saying the consecration i'm reading wikipedia here the consecration of russia to the immaculate heart of mary by a specific act of a reigning pope along with all other catholic bishops of the world was allegedly ordered in a marian apparition by our lady of fatima in 13 july 1917. consecration of russia as a country would usher in a period of world peace um see and that makes that gives me pause too because when they say peace and safety than war and destruction so i i mean if i'm being honest like the the whole idea it says that um if you like if you just read what you just said there basically um can you reread that that first couple lines that you said there the consequence of something the consecration i'm sorry yeah so the bishops the catholic bishops and the standing pope that that it's a very basic principle it's a very basic thing and i should have said it already but obviously we do believe in the pope we do think that there's a pope we think that there's such thing as catholicity of bishops but we don't believe that like the catholic church affirms the orthodox uh apostolic succession it says we have valid sacraments via apostolic succession yeah but we would just we would say we would not give the same courtesy unfortunately with the catholic church and so right off the bat again it's another presupposition that we just wouldn't affirm based upon the idea that he has no authority in our paradigm the pope has zero authority in our paradigm at this point unless he repents and comes back and says hey i'm gonna renounce all these heresies and hey uh here the news the news appears in the wikipedia article it says pope francis announced he would consecrate russia and ukraine to the immaculate heart of mary on 25 march 2022 at st peter's basilica in rome wow a consecration ceremony is also scheduled in fatima portugal by the papal elminar cardinal conrad krajewski wow i'm i'm very excited i'm very excited and uh aidan how do you feel about that uh actually it makes me ask a bunch of questions so like sister lucia i think she said that she said it was completed yeah she did and so um part of me wonders why like pope francis who seemingly hasn't really had any kind of um like spiritual gusto or he hasn't had it he hasn't all of a sudden he's you know like uh to quote to quote my uncle like lacking in spiritual balls in a lot of ways um not nice i know david um but uh why all of a sudden he's just well i remember saying you remember saint paul before his conversion yeah yeah fiery one way and then he was firing the exact okay so you're saying you can't be fiery communist antichrist authentic for fiery i think i'm just kidding i'm kidding i'm kidding i'm kidding yes i know you are but come on come on david okay can i just ask one question before the time's out yes okay before they drop the news okay so in not not tasteful not tasteful so in the book of revelation when it says that the antichrist will usher in peace and safety and the false prophet will come and he will he will announce his coming et cetera et cetera says that if it were possible even the very elect would be deceived yeah can you imagine a situation in which oh my gosh we're on the brink of world war three yeah pope francis comes in consecrates russia and ukraine now all of a sudden peace is is shouted and then we have pope francis working with somebody else in tandem and people are just like oh my gosh he's he's now just redeemed his entire pontificate because let's be honest even though you look at him as infallible when speaking ex cathedra he still has had a very shaky and rocky you know last years he would redeem himself in one shot and people would be like oh my gosh he just brought in peace and safety and all this stuff and there would be so many catholics that would be like okay that was really good that he did that all these people that have been like okay like on on the verge kind of like aiden cause i know aidan's a little on the verge where he's like um i question things with this guy i question things and um lord forgive me for blowing up his spot but like those are things where it's like doesn't that make you question at all like okay it is possible maybe it's possible that the pope could be either of the false prophet or uh usher in a false arab everything is manufactured nowadays too karen to be honest with you though my mind didn't go there with that my mind didn't go oh i know your mind is i know i even with the couf everything was manufactured and lied and i would say that ninety percent of it yeah even with night with ninety 90 of what we're being told about this war in ukraine it's probably mostly a lie so like if that's the case if most of it is probably not even trustworthy to begin with then like how much does peace and security even mean if it comes i want to say i want to say something in my own defense which is i'm excited i'm going to remain excited about the consecration no matter what you say do it and and don't listen to me and also i have a lot of checks and balances in my faith whereby i can recognize a wolf in sheep's clothing okay um there are many many checks and balances and litmus tests that i do like you know we just go down the list like abortion contraception uh unrepentant homosexual acts um you know all the time all the ten all the ten commandments like i mean the traditional the traditional the traditional all of the traditional teachings about family sexuality and uh that sort of stuff uh contraception all these things are litmus tests for uh jesus christ versus antichrist okay and divorce divorce pornography all these sort of things like it's so obvious satan can't help himself even when he tries to pretend to be a christian like with a cult leader like david crash or whoever there's always sexuality sneaks in there always or corruption with money or corruption with whatever okay so it's i don't i don't want to be proud and say that it's easy to recognize the antichrist at work in the world but it's pretty easy it's pretty easy right like i know i love you david i love you but that's literally the vatican that's what all of those things that you just said the vatican has indulged in time and time again i suppose but it's easier something that that even that even an atheist can look at and be like oh i know for a fact that like this person this dude is doing this evil thing like discernment comes from the holy spirit if you don't have the holy spirit then how do you have true discernment so like if a person from the outside who has no relation to christ whatsoever can look at the vatican and be like what they're doing is wrong like what does that really even say like that doesn'