hello my name is Dominic meristem and you are listening to Catholic versus Catholic tell the listeners if you would please a little bit about yourself who you are what you believe and how he came to believe it okay I have been married for 33 years and I have three children and I live in South East England I'm the cradle Catholic from mixed marriage parenting but I had a very devout granny who was a Carmelite actually and she taught us the faith using the original penny catechism so I've always been Catholic I did had a rebellious period when I went to university and I stopped going to Mass and I I just didn't didn't practice the faith but I was very strict with boys and I didn't date really date with anyone really apart from my future husband and I still had a Catholic notion of morals I suppose even I wasn't going to Mass I still knew what was right and wrong because my grandmother had been very very strong on that so I thought it was very important you know not not to go go round with lots of different boys and things like that so I did Ravel but when we got married then I had after a year first child came along and then that's when I started practicing again I went to Mass every Sunday because I wanted to have him baptized and so then it became very very important my husband was a bit disappointed because he wasn't he isn't Catholic and so he found it all a bit of a shock having not been practicing and I wasn't even practicing when we got married so he finally very difficult that I have now decided it was a very important part of my life so it's been quite a challenge really I want to talk if he would briefly just touch on some of the earliest memories you have where you you said Wow God is impressive religion is impressive the piety of the people around me is impressive can you talk about some of the earliest memories please you know well my earliest memories are really when I was about seven and we were preparing I suppose for the first sacraments and my grandmother she taught us all our prayers and she was had statues in her room she only lived in one room and she would take us in South Kensington with her statue of Our Lady of Fatima and she would put it on the pavement and then we tap to kneel down and say a decade you know with our spires and things and we go to another part of London and say another decade with the statue it was in a box which had a little door and when you opened it there was Our Lady of Fatima and it had all the messages on the little doors you know the messages of Fatima and she she taught us all about Bernadette to nerd and all the saints and so I always thought that was amazing is it fair to say that in your immediate family the women were generally more pious and devout than the men yes without a doubt my two brothers lapsed and they haven't married married validly they both married in registry offices and and one of them the wives has been married before so it's it's very tricky but I do notice when I go to the Latin Mass Choir now I only go to Latin Mass there are more men who attend that I've noticed that whereas when I used to go to nervous audio every day there was only women really I don't know why maybe the liturgy is more kind of feminized in the new Mass I don't know now you've mentioned the traditional Latin Mass maybe this is a good time for you to introduce your current okay well when I started practicing again after having children I was still at Red Bull as for God's things like human and meeting because I didn't agree with it at the time and my husband wasn't Catholic anyway saying if token didn't agree with it and I really really argued with people about it I was in fact I was at the center then Hume on Evita was the encyclical that Pope Paul the sixth wrote in 1968 effectively banning artificial birth control although some say the caste canoe be in 1930 was even stronger and more black and white some saying Humana vitae opened the door to natural family planning which can be abused but anyway I had a religious experience in 2001 I went going to because it's a long story and that's when I came to accept the teaching of the church or about birth control and that's when I then wanted to practice that teaching and then I became very very devout and I became a certified parish catechist I went to daily Mass but at the same time I was very disturbed by the split in the church the dissents going on that cohabiting people went up to communion divorced and remarried or seemed to go up to communion and I thought all those really odd because you know before Vatican 2 most Catholics were on the same page and they accepted the teachings but it did seem to me that there were two two camps in the Catholic Church and I found that quite tricky because most Catholics don't accept the teaching on birth control they think it's ridiculous so then I found sort of refuge in the Opus Dei I went to I got recruited there because the main parish catechist was in university and I used to go to the recollection every month I go to confession and I like that I thought that was really nice and I felt a kind of shape there because on the whole thing they did agree with all the Church's teachings my husband was very cross then and um I had to kind of lie a bit because I didn't tell him I was going which I don't think was right now thinking back so I didn't like the fact that they were encouraging ception in a way anyway I work with them after a few years because I this was after Pope Francis became the Pope and he wrote an encyclical I think it was allowed out to sea which I found a bit strange and III just seen all sorts of problems that dissipates him and I'm quite vocal and I I used to write articles for some Catholic papers and I I do quite a bit of Twitter anyway they started spying on my own my tweets though I had little chats with them they said I mustn't do any more writing without asking their permission so they said oh you must come to us before you write in because you know we didn't really like what you're writing but other things I didn't really like about that their way I thought it was very strange the way they recruit people you know they they're your friend they're really good friends with you and then you know it's only way to get you into the Opus Dei but I mean you know they they're very nice people and and I made some really good friends but once you leave you're more or less dropped like a rock cake and also I found it odd that their founder mother Mary a screamer was made a saint very quickly I think he's the fastest one ever to be made to sing they never used the devil's advocate with any of the post conciliar scenes I actually i think john paul ii introduced the new way of making Saints without Del's advocate so I questioned some of the new Saints now because I'm not sure well did they really get scrutiny required that you know they used to get the real scrutiny before the change so I left them and I went to them Society of st. Pius the tenth and because I you know it was the Latin medicine actually I was going to the Latin Mass when I was with Opus Dei but even then they didn't really like that they thought we you know the note Novus Ordo was absolutely fine why do we need the Latin Merson and they didn't say not to go but they weren't very encouraging about is so I went to sin past the 10th and I I've made some good friends with them and it's a bit of a trek it takes you know but half an hour to get there every Sunday and recently they've just changed the time into 8:30 in the morning so that's that's a bit early I now go to an independent parish it's not really a parish I guess it is a state of a contest one but they are validly it's probably illicit but they're validly ordained priests because that was one of the other things I I was worried about Archbishop Lefebvre stdout full of the new Rights the Episcopal ordinations he said they were doubtful that wise mean indeed I want to get conditionally confirmed in the old right so are you firmly said of a cactus I don't know because there could be a poop out there we just don't know about I mean I've listened to Pope Michael you know he's quite sensible I like him I like him a lot but I want to talk to you a little bit about a scandal in my church the Norma sorta Church what do you make of it what's your perspective what have you learned has it helped you at all to growing you on faith journey and your walk with God and your own struggle to be pure and to be holy as God is holy and to be perfect as God is perfect as it helped you at all as much as it's very disturbing I think it's good it's all coming out now you can't just keep sweeping this under the carpet and the American church they're all going to be investigated now the New York diocese fighting the State Police now because the church can't police itself and just yesterday I believe that Italy an Italian paper have now got this 300 page dossier which Pope Benedict had commissioned before he resigned which three Cardinals actually wrote the dossier and he handed it to Pope Francis I believe when he resigned but it's never been discussed it's never been sorted and it involves financial mismanagement and immoral behavior in the Vatican but this paper I don't know exactly what they've published because I haven't seen mean - version they have it apparently but I don't know what they're going to put and obviously the big are new allegations came out two weeks ago and he's now living in fear of his life and now of course Michael Voris having been never criticizing Francis he now has calling for him to resign so that's a real about-turn yeah I've always been a tentative fan of church militant and Michael Voris I've appreciated the work that he's done I've always been a little bit skeptical that maybe he may be prone to a little bit of radicalism maybe laughing a little bit of moderation I think it's going a bit too far to call for the resignation of Pope Francis god only knows what the truth is but I think she would be cautious and patient I agree I mean Vigano he I think he is the first sort of major prelate to open resignation I think he's seen the main one but again I don't know what it's every day there seems to be some kind of new new thing I mean even dr. Taylor Marshall do you watch him at yeah yeah I mean he I mean he's obviously questioning as well what's going on and he actually apologized to Michael Voris he used to think he was absurd but now he's saying well you know maybe you're right he did it on Twitter actually Twitter's a great place for getting information I still don't know how to use Twitter I just completely incompetent when it comes to social media for many different reasons mainly because I'm just socially awkward I don't have a lot of social graces and know-how what the right thing is to say to people what are you - very well on your podcast it's interesting you know Bob Hope Michael he he's on Facebook under David Gordon and I did ask him the other day I a message and I said do you that's a good question that's not I didn't ask did you listen to my interview of him I did yes he's very listenable yeah yeah I just found myself and I found myself mesmerized I didn't get controversial with him at all because he was just so pleasant and fun to listen to yes I mean she knows I mean we've had the time of three poops for goodness sake you know we've got two visible ones because father Kramer said Benedict never resigns the spiritual sight he only resigns the administrative side and that's why he still wears the white you should interview father creamer actually by the pool creamer he's written several books actually on the crisis and Fatima and wat yes speaking of Fatima some of the approved apparitions are very touched by Fatima door Our Lady of Guadalupe only Our Lady of good success in South America yes yeah I'm really really really petrified of one that is so demonic what can you tell me from your experience have you do you know people that are fanatically obsessed with it apps I do I did go to med kori about four years ago and I took the family actually and there is a big statue of our Lord on the cross and water comes out of it and there's queues of people going up to touch this water III don't know but a friend of mine did have it tested she's scientist and she said it was a human origin this is what I'm not sure about maybe something is happening there but something demonic is going on at the same time I don't know for sure the the main queue for me is the disobedience the disobedience of the Franciscans first and foremost and then the disobedience of the alleged seers there are they're very uncooperative and they have those have been not to mention just the the regularity of these apparitions like tens of thousands of operations it's just we're serving so weird were you disturbed when you were physically there no not at all and there were lots of shots the usual selling rosaries as a nerd Fatima yeah funnily enough when I had my religious experience it was actually on 13th of May 2001 so it was the Fatima Deen and that's what got me really into Fatima and I've been brought up with paten or anyway but I love the way that Our Lady's so clear to the children you know they all the teachings she confirmed all of them and the children had receive Holy Communion on their knees and on the tongue and then she showed them the vision of hell so she was sort of confirmed all the sort of main teachings I suppose and it was all very clear and and the miracle the song that that happened that is a proven event the fact that 70,000 people saw the Sun Moon Lord I've always loved that the Bernadette story with the innocent young girl she didn't even know what the Immaculate Conception meant you know that's how simple she was and of course she persecuted for a while because they said she was making it all up I've been to Lourdes once and I do get a good feeling there actually the other one I like is a lady put success that's interesting because a lot of it refers to the 20th century where there was going to be a corruption of morals from the 1950s onwards and the sacraments marriage would be attacked all sorts of things that have come true according to that apparition do you know that one yeah yeah it's one of my favorites that's a very interesting how the statue was completely formed in I don't I can't remember how it happened but in the chapel they weren't happy with the artistry of the artists that they tried and then just one morning they woke up and there was a maid yeah I do feel somewhat awkward about some of the statues of Mary some I find very beautiful some I don't find that beautiful and that particular statue I personally I just don't find it that beautiful and I've read somewhere where Jesus communicated to one of these mystics that it doesn't matter the beauty of the representation what matters is God's grace so I'm comfortable now having an opinion about artwork even if it is made by angels it may be because I am impure maybe that's why I don't see the beauty in certain representations in these statues but maybe we're not supposed to be overwhelmed with the beauty of the statue maybe we're supposed to go beyond that have you experienced that sort of feeling where you've seen a painting of Jesus and you just thought oh that's a little bit off where it's not quite as appealing as it could be obviously I'm not very keen on the modern ones I have to say yeah yes there's a local church here and they've got a statue of Jesus in in jeans side of the church it's horrible oh good it may have been done by some street kids or something no it's been done by a famous sculpture someone died and he left this money statue moon looks like David Beckham you know in sort of casual clothes oh boy and it's hanging up on the above the the door when you go in straight you know this strange God God is incredibly humble he's very very patient with us yes and I think if you you've had children so you've seen when your children are very young and they make an ugly drawing of you but if they do it with love that's all matters right of course no you know this brings me to the question of superstition non-catholics think that we worship Mary we worship statues can you talk about what is the where is that where is the fine line for you between superstition which is evil and condemned by the church and true piety true devotion and these things that seem to Protestants for example to be a violation of the first commandment can you just talk a little bit about superstition and idolatry place well they think we worship Mary because I suppose because we have a lot of pictures of Mary and statues but I try to tell people well don't you have photographs of your family you don't worship the photograph do you that we don't worship statues they are reminders of what they represent so we do not worship statues we don't worship Mary we revere her as mother of God and you know we have these we need pictures to to remind us I mean I have a little statue of Mary by my bed I have one on my desk there are only 10 centimeters tall but they're just reminders and obviously I have to be a bit careful because my husband doesn't like seeing lots of religious pictures around the place so I had to be a bit careful come where I put things I mean my grandmother used to give miraculous medals to people on the London buses that's cool and rosaries she turned out these missionary rosary things and I suppose people might have thought that was being superstitious but not and wearing the miraculous medal she brought us all up to where the miraculous medal but I don't because my husband is offended by it so I don't actually wear overtly religious symbols I have a rosary ring that I'm me that I that I had made and it's in the gold one but that's that's very subtle it's it's there but it's not in-your-face sort of thing yes every second rental the church teaches very clearly that it's prayer that's all that it is it's the power of prayer so we have prayer and the way of the sacraments sacramentals fall under prayer but there are there are times where when I'm seeking protection from demons and evil in general there are times where I think am I being mercenary here or is this a sincere prayer of love am i motivated by pure selfishness or is there love behind my demand for protection what is your experience with protection and then these sorts of st. Michael prayer and these sorts of things you know I say to st. Michael prayer but if you read Gabriel almost remember he's a finally the main Exorcist at the Vatican oh yeah yeah Gabriel moth he used to write about things like we should have holy water by the bed and bless salt to ward off any demonic activity and yeah the sacramental sea they help you I don't know if you've read his book no experiences but and you know the holy water is really strong very powerful I mean Padre Pio apparently fought Devils in his cell I mean he was bruised he's my favorite saint actually but he fought a lot with the devil and all might have been one of the devil's minions who's constantly battling same with Saint John Vianney do you remember the stories of Saint John Vianney I I don't really know about seeing John Vianney but he was the very simple priest who probably wouldn't be allowed to be a priest because he wasn't very intelligent is that right that's right yeah but he had to use a pen tensed his confessional and the whole village started practicing once he was put in that parish I believe yeah he's got chills now just as you're talking about him because he's so powerful yes he was very very humble and he got people to confession and he got people to practice so his he didn't need to be you don't need to be really intelligent no no because he nearly didn't make it to priesthood because of that they were desperate for priests though at that time very right and I think we're desperate today too so we may have some simple-minded Saints coming our way soon st. brother Andre he's another character that's very similar he saw people's souls and he gave confessions a lot and He healed people here in Montreal st. brother Andre Bessette have you heard about him no I haven't which century was he and he was the 20th century and he wasn't nobody nobody respected him he was a doorman he was not very educated he was not very bright but he was a simple humble man who had a sincere love of st. Joseph and he built this huge monumental oratory to st. Joseph during his own lifetime and I have the privilege of living in the city where I can actually just go and pray at his tomb and his hurt is exposed in a glass and they sorts of things and he said he's Canadian see ya he's connect were from right from Quebec so look at me yeah look into him he's a very simple humble man and speaking of Saints you've named a couple your favorites did you want to list one or two more of your favorites yes well when I started my spiritual journey properly I read the story of the soul hi st. res so I had got very close to to that same Saint Terez I I'm not book that she wrote was just incredible it was my first real kind of getting into spiritual reading the story of a soul and that that really got me on the road of lots of reading well the other one I really liked was John Fusco that's my grandmother gave me that biography of him and he was quite incredible to Maximilian Kolbe and he's and I suppose a recent kind of modern Saint I suppose he gave up his life for a family man in the concentration camp and obviously put past the tent he introduced totally communion for children and he wrote great catechism but Padre Pio I suppose is my favorite I went to his shrine recently it's a hideous new Church it's really young grotesque actually but I went into the church where he used to hear confessions in the old church actually so the old church does beautiful that the modern one is extraordinary I dunno I dunno keep into it they don't some think well I mean either you like very very modern architect but it just doesn't look like a church to me yes I understand have you ever encountered a saint where you just weren't feeling it it's just like you you may have learned a lot about this Saint be just weren't feeling inspired or in love with the saint has that ever happened to you yes I think so I have to say I've found reading Saint Teresa of Avila difficult okay I tried to read it but I wasn't I I just couldn't it was too too highbrow for me okay so it's just too - I suppose mystical what about Santa at the cross he's very highbrow - I think not that I've really read it but I should do my grandmother gave me a book on him but I probably didn't get all minute Saint John of the Cross is one of the first saints that I ever read that I thought I'm not feeling this I'm not getting this I'm not digesting this I'm not feeling a lot of warmth I'm not feeling inspiration I love him because he loves God so perfectly but I just can't access I just don't have access to that level you know so yes I think this is something where God knows each and every one of us is unique we have special needs and he brings us a wide variety of saints that we can be drawn to and that we can learn from because he meets us more he meets us where we are that's for sure it's it's incredible really when you think about the economy of salvation how generous God is giving us the Saints absolutely and they're all so different mm to know them is to love them but we're not able we don't have the capacity to fully know every saint we have a capacity limited capacity to know some of them in a limited way but I think all of them all of eternity will be unfolding and unpacking and the gifts of the saints and obviously that God himself in that Holy Trinity it's infinite and we have a lot too we have a lot of discovery to look forward to for all eternity and I don't really understand my atheist friends when they say that heaven is boring far from it you know we get a little taste of heaven in the church and in the Saints and it's it's not boring well I can't understand how they're not scared of Hell I mean I mean what people don't believe in anymore there's new doesn't seem to be a fear of the consequences how often do you think about Hell or meditate on a local a lot a lot because I don't want to go there and and I'm very confused you know because if you're on the wrong path Europe you're on the wrong path you know I don't want to be on the wrong path but it's very hard it's really hard I think to be in actually in the situation today because it's it's you know it's confusing what do you think about the little way of saint torres do you think that her little way can serve you and to help maybe get rid of some of your fears and anxieties trusting in God like a father and just going to him simply and wrestling well I actually pray the prayer st. Bridget's everyday noises and if you say the prayers per year every day per year you will have done the same amount of time that our Lord was gnashed during the scourging he told st. Brigid this but he touched 15 promises to all those who say this prayer for a year and one of the promises that is that he will convert 15 of your your friends Wow and there's all sorts of really good stuff actually okay I found it in my grandmother's mother's writings I was just going through her her books one day and there was this pamphlet that she'd sellotaped in the book and I got it out and I read it and I thought right I'm gonna do this so the first prayer you see you say one hour father of M one Hail Mary and then you say the following should I just read this never grown business oh Jesus Christ eternal sweetness to those who love thee joy surpassing all joy and all desire salvation and hope of all sinners who has to prove that thou hast no greater desire than to be among men even assuming human nature at the fullness of time for the love of men recall all the sufferings thou hast endured from the instant of thy conception and especially during my passion as it was decreed and ordained yeah if I'm not mistaken I was given a penance once where I had to say those prayers it all fit on one eight-and-a-half by 11 page of paper I was given a penance right to say that every day for a month okay because I it was a general confession sort of tried sincerely to tell absolutely every sin that I've ever committed which is not easy because I've been 25 years atheist and so it wasn't easy but I think God sees the sincere attempt to remember everything and I think that that city that works live trust in God but there's another prayer that you're reminding me of the prayer of st. and Gertrude I don't know if you've heard about this yes Eternal Father I offer thee the most precious blood of the Divine Son Jesus in union with the masses said throughout the world today for all the holy souls in purgatory for sinners everywhere for sinners in the universal church those in my own home and within my family amen allegedly I mean the church doesn't guarantee that the promises that are attached to these sorts of things are going to be fulfilled but there's it's a pious belief that the church tentatively approves of and the promise is attached to this particular prayer are that something like 5,000 souls will be released from purgatory when you say it sincerely and the thing about God is that he always gives more he never gives less right so we need to be really bold with God we really need to have confidence and done that he wants to give us always more and more and more and more we should be bold and asking for stuff that that we don't deserve you know and stuff that graces that seem ridiculous like I asked for example to skip purgatory I want to die a saint in the odour of sanctity that is absolutely ridiculous if you knew me you would say you're wasting your breath you're a complete fool you do about the Sabbatini village don't you touch to the scapular yes but I mean even one day in purgatory is too much for me I'm very sensitive to pain it's very painful but yeah I don't think enough people try to avoid purgatory even faithful Catholics yes you do often hear people say that they'd be content to make it into purgatory my father was an atheist and when he died the priest came around and the Catholic priest he thinks my father had a deathbed conversion actually nice though and I thought to myself well you know if he's made it to purgatory because he'd spent his whole life not believing although he was baptized in the Church of England but you know he didn't believe and I thought that would be brilliant he's into purgatory because there's only one way to go after that in its up yeah there's no way there's no way of going down once you're in purgatory we were so well we're just hopeful that we did have a deathbed conversion I hope so otherwise you hell is not somewhere we want to go no no people need to just meditate on health for five minutes a day just think about it it's it's so powerful and it's not you know the fear of Hell is not a perfect way but it is a valuable way yeah we should first and foremost do the great thing out we should not good for goodness sake and love God for God's goodness well the fear of Hell the church the church has been very clear about this that the fear of Hell is a good starting place it's a very good starting place but Our Lady Fatima she said that a lot of people went to hell and the main the main sin I think she said the sins of the flesh because the trouble is there's this acceptance now isn't there that oh well everyone's doing it so you know how can it be wrong to live together before you're married and all that they think it's absurd to even think that you should be living separately it's become the norm this is the problem my ways are not your ways Lord we just have no clue how far we've strayed as a society and to say that we're a Christian culture in the West I think is a bit of a stretch today but I always think about one of my first favorite Saints when I at Sunday school before I lost my faith at the age of fourteen dramatically mm-hmm my favorite saying one of my favorite sayings was st. John the Baptist and he died for the sanctity and purity of marriage yeah but if we look at the Bible Old Testament and New Testament there's such an emphasis on purity such as on marriage such an emphasis in Jesus Christ and the church the pure spotless bride and if we look at the prophets that are constantly talking about how the chosen people have themselves and they're behaving like prostitutes and just the the way that we solely ourselves not only sexually but in terms of loyalty in terms of the first commandment putting God above all things the whole Bible from beginning to end it's all about that relationship how do we psychologically justify the impurity of our ways and abortion and yeah it's it's just mind-boggling not just I'm not putting myself above anyone here honest to god or not because I'm I'm a very disgusting pervert myself but I'm by the grace of God I'm saying no to myself and yes to God now right so you're struggling and striving to do the will of God but yes it's hard isn't it when the laws of the land say something which go against God's commandments there is naught then become acceptable to the majority I mean like gay marriage I can't believe how that has now become so accepted here I mean I remember you know 20 years ago when they were talking about it and most people were against it same-sex marre sure yeah yeah but a minute it passed that now becomes acceptable yeah it's sad it's tragic we need to pray for ourselves for on conversion and it's for everyone around us it's very very scary thinking about anyone going to hell I mean when people people often use Hitler as the poster child for evil and he was very evil but he was good by nature he was created by God and he is for heaven so I hope that he converted and I wouldn't wish hell on him or on anyone else even the pedophile priest that's done the worst crimes I don't wish hell on that person I wish there are some conversion sorry time's running out so speaking of time running out I like to end on a very positive note and you're the one that's going to make that positive note so you've listened to my show before so you know that I like to end with a little thought to the listener not everyone that's listening obviously is religious or has found God yet so they don't necessarily have that so you could speak it just in general terms so what might you be able to say to anyone that might be out there listening now well I think things are getting to some sort of head in the world at the moment with all these weather changes and things happening in the church but I think you can see the night at the end of the tunnel and I think that evil will be defeated but it's going to be quite torrid to get there and God will triumph he is going to quash that evil the devil all these things are going to stop all these wicked behaviors I think will numb stop but I don't know how but God