tygris part two so what's been on your mind what do you want to talk about today I've wanted to talk about like fantasy worlds and music most progressive rock and heavy metal bands have sent us the element to their music and mythology that goes with it so let's talk a little bit before we get too deep in the music about your fantasy world you said you wanted to touch on a little bit what what do you want to share well well my grandmother died about 20 years ago her death led me on a path of delving into my fantasy world that was the start of it and then when I was in middle school it sort of became more prominent that was a big part of my life I fell in love with a fictional character and created a whole fantasy based on it Sailor Moon played a big part in my life and what role did you play were you a hero were you active passive I've always kind of seen myself as a villain who became a hero playing the villains doesn't appeal to me at all anymore so I've become the hero did you ever play Dungeons and Dragons or other games like that no wasn't really that into it but I have played it occasionally are there other RPGs that you did get into I played a lot of Final Fantasy a lot of the songs from the file fantasy series are excellent music has played a big part in my in my fantasy like I'm always constantly finding new bands and and songs that means something to me I love psychedelic rock I was just looking around the internet one time and I found this band that I really liked sadly they weren't together a long time but they released like three albums what was named an event person pee-yew RSO and they were like trying to come up with a band name and then a in this laughter a demonic character okay kind of like your pie Chris mm-hmm and how old were you and this pie Chris character came into your life explicitly that you knew him by name it was actually recently last year the year before I'm not really I don't really remember it's kind of a blur and he's still with you mm-hmm is there a game plan in place for where this is going to take you now just I'm just kind of feeling it out it's a struggle between my my real life and dealing with all of this that's been revealed to me this is sort of like thrust upon me and I'm having a hard time dealing with it but it'll be okay in the future I think you got to stay strong you got to stay positive are you tempted to walk away from the whole fantasy world and legislate in reality no I kind of want to maintain a balance between the two which way is the balance tipped right now real life okay so you're frustrated because that's a little bit too boring and too oppressive a little bit yeah all the music I listen to helps me through it though I think there's something going on behind the scenes because depending on the band it seems like there's songs that are almost written about me they don't mention Piper's by name no but there's too many to list the funny thing is my favorite song by The Rolling Stones is sympathy for the devil one of my friends has it set as the ringtone for me when I call so you you feel a little bit privileged in your the role that you think has been thrust on you right I don't feel privileged at all I just feel like I have a duty to uphold taking care and defense of the lost and the damned interesting do you think you have family members that are damned the only one I can think of is my dad's father from what my mom tells me and kind of what my dad why he wasn't a very nice man there's an interesting lady that I've interviewed she goes by the name their child you may have heard her on my podcast yet I had she feels very firmly and strongly that Satan is not permanently damned he's just a troublemaker but that he's eventually gonna go home to be with God and that this is from her perspective of course I don't I don't buy into her worldview right but she seems to feel very strongly that these people that are allegedly damned are not really permanently damned interestingly it's the viewpoint of a lot of major world religions all of the Eastern religions feel that everyone's going to go to heaven Judaism believes that everyone ends up in heaven well my other self has been on a quest for redemption for a long time okay have you seen the movie dogma I have I have surely my one cousin actually happened to be an old friend of Kevin Smith's if I'm not mistaken Kevin Smith was raised in a Catholic home if he was the reason I mentioned them will be dog- because they think if I remember correctly they're fallen angels that are trying to achieve redemption I think they do at the end they do to an extent well one redeems himself one doesn't I found it as a as a very well done tongue-in-cheek kind of wink and nod to Catholic dogma kind of like oh well you know this is what I believe but it does kind of sound ridiculous to some yeah I think the person that played God in that movie was a Canadian is that right yes Alanis Morissette seems to me a lot of Canadian talent creeping their way into the u.s. yeah but look I was a fan of this show kids in the hall because in my opinion I find Dave Foley to be funny as hell Canada is like the US but without all the BS without all the guns - well there's still guns in Canada but not as many as the United States do you see people walking around with guns is that in your state no there's no concealed-carry in my state the only people they issue concealed carry permits to in New Jersey or police officers that makes sense did you ever think about joining law enforcement I did as a kid I wanted to be a cop really bad I have a cousin by marriage who was a cop and I've known a few local cops over the years one was actually a family friend probably the best officer the town I live in had on the force just a really sweet sweet person just a really really super nice guy like well my sister broke her ankle on our class trip when she was in high school he was the one that like picked her up and got her to the hospital so I have a great deal of respect for him but he retired a few years back and it sucks not seeing him anymore in uniform getting back to your fantasy world do you you said you have two sort of confidence they pretty much know everything or you keep part of the story of private and secret they pretty much know everything do they have similar experiences yeah both of them yeah both of them well that's what you need you need someone that can listen and understand right right have you helped them on their journey mm-hmm big-time a lot of people don't have that a friend that understands yeah no no not a lot of people have that but I have a couple so it's not all bad count your blessings exactly do you ever think about the overwhelming sadness of the humans that are isolated lonely sick depressed suicidal do you ever think about just people that are in trouble that are lonely that are isolated that are you know if you step back and look at the world there's a lot of sadness and tragedy yeah and I feel really sorry for those people I wish I could help them all yeah that's a beautiful sentiment I share that sentiment with you I always say that people who are sad --is-- when they smile they have the brightest smiles because people like that when they have a good day and things go good to them because they're usually depressed all the time and whatever and when they have a good day it means so much more to them I appreciate your kind heart and your love for your fellow man and it's pretty rare today actually it is very rare nowadays I mean I have no reason not to love my fellow man where did you get where did you learn this just experience I was bullied a lot when I was a kid and it just made me appreciate people more like people who cared about me it made them made me appreciate people more that's a strange thing the bullying well usually people who bully have deep-seated issues I've never believed anyone ever I was always a victim of bullies just because I was different I'm on the autism spectrum and you know as soon as certain people see someone who's different acts different of them they automatically assume you're like stupid or they see this week or something and they just have to swoop in and cause you problems what pisses me off too is that when a kid stands up to a bully it's the victims fault I don't subscribe to that if you have a belief that's on your case all the time fight back don't get violent but fight backwards don't be a victim have you read a lot of Stephen King because Stephen King talks a lot about the sort of underdog he does a lot of his books have to do with being the underdogs like it the kids that fight back against it they called themselves the losers because they were you know kids who were bullied in stuff was Stephen King bullied as a child you know I would suspect that probably he was are there are there big name heroes in the autistic spectrum community and Aykroyd also Canadian he has Asperger's syndrome his Asperger's severe form or a mild form it's so mild form it tends to be on the higher functioning and a lot of the autism spectrum I mean like I've had i q-- tests over the years and apparently my IQ is 160 ok the fantasy world I created it helped me through a lot of tough times like I've had a few deaths and my family in the past 17 years it's one of my coping mechanisms wizard a chance that you could go too deep into the fantasy world are you worried about that I am worried about that going to deepen because it's been really deep into it and it's kind of hard finding your way back out like I always say that the reality we experience is only a very miniscule part of what's really going on it's like less than like 1/10 of actual reality what we experience day-to-day there's a fine line between genius and insanity I've seen both sides of the coin some mental illnesses have had a supernatural component to them the one that I always say has has the biggest supernatural component to it is schizophrenia I was diagnosed as having it schizoaffective disorder which is essentially bipolar disorder but schizophrenic features hallucinations delusional thinking stuff like that but you know even when I've had my episodes I've never really been delusional it's like whenever I try to explain myself to them at the hospital they automatically assume I'm like stupid or something like you don't know what you're talking about you're mentally ill psychiatry has gotten out of hand to me it seems like it's starting to creep into people's everyday lives like you can't say anything or do anything or you'll be labeled mentally ill the last time I went in the hospital they couldn't even distinguish between me messing with them and act an actual episode they called the cops they put me in a cop car they drove me to the hospital and then when I when I got to my hospital it got really weird they said all you need to strip naked or whatever and I'm like I haven't Lee refused this this is a violation of my rights as a human being and they sent these two big burly guys over to me to intimidate me into doing it so as I progressed in this it's been three years since the first incident and I've become vehemently against psychiatry in almost all of its forms the early days of psychiatry were horrible they put people in hospitals just literally leave them there with nothing and they you know let's our shock therapy and and lobotomies and stuff like that to me it's crimes against humanity is what it is like I wish I could go back in time to whoever decided that lobotomies were okay and punched them in the face have you seen One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest yeah well now if they had somebody like nurse ratchet you know in a hospital she would have been fired on the spot she had no compassion and I think that's what's lacking in psychiatry today is is the staff usually has compassion but the doctors have none it almost seems like a lot of the psychiatrists or sociopaths I find it kind of scary actually how could somebody with sociopathic tendencies become a doctor trying to help people with their mental issues one of my friends always says that psychiatrists are probably the most mentally ill people in the world they're fighting their own demons so they have to project it onto other people and her from for being different thinking different acting different FiOS psychiatry's like where everything is a chemical imbalance stuff that apparently has its origins in Nazi Germany it's not all of them I had one when I was a kid that was really really really good he was a nice guy and he helped me through a lot of stuff but as I got older it just I started realizing that a lot of them were full of literally I think it's a dsm-5 is the newest version it literally has almost every human behavior labeled as a mental illness it's scary like they can literally imprison you against your will for being different I'm on anticyclones all the time and just like reading people's arter stories and it's not cool they put people on on these psych drugs that they don't really know the long-term effects oh and that's not good no so what would you say it just as a sort of final wrap up sort of on a more positive note well you know just be don't don't let the negative affect you at all I mean you gotta acknowledge the negatives and you've got a face it head-on but don't let it consume you in my closing statement if you hear a good song crank it up