CVS Meta - 2019-09-11 - Matthew Responds to Responses to Nick and Matthew

Author Recorded Wednesday September 11th, 2019


This is a meta-Meta Response (or a Meta meta-response?) Anyway, after listening to my latest Meta episode, Matthew wanted to set the record straight and clarify his position. Much love to my brother. ♥ Part 1: https://youtu.be/hR47V1kOhu4


CVS Meta - 2019-09-11 - Matthew Responds to Responses to Nick and Matthew

Author Recorded January 22nd, 2012

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video

transcript
These transcripts are generated automatically and are therefore unformatted and replete with errors.
meda I guess this is sort of like a response to the response so Matthew what did you think of the med episode I thought it was very powerful and I just need you to know that like when I was listening to what little snippets that you pulled out like I misspoke on the part about the email about the prayer because there's just something that was bothering me I thought Nick might be able to relate to me on that but I was just trying to say oh yeah I was going to send you this email and then I just jumped into oh and the answer I get is bla bla bla you know and it sound like I was making fun of yourself a note that wasn't you because you didn't even say that to me that was not your response but you still stand by it which is interesting too but do you believe in the immutability of God yeah like he unchanging he never changes his mind he always he had point A to point Z planned out plotted out perfectly before we even existed well to say that he planned it out it makes it sound like he didn't take into consideration however part in the drama that he wasn't cooperating with our misunderstandings and our weakness he did take into consideration all of the crappy parts that we contribute and all the good that we mirrored back to him but to just say that he had a plan and he's sticking to it makes him sound cold and callous but no he is the most sensitive of dance partners he doesn't actually really ever change his mind based on our accidents would you say that I would say that it's a deep deep mystery we can't comprehend and it's a waste of time to try to understand it but his one word that he speaks is it perfect and he does not change he only speaks one word that word accomplishes everything including all of the sophisticated cooperation that seems to be temporal in the spatio-temporal natural world that we inhabit so we can't really wrap our heads around that bridge between the infinite and the finite between God the Father and God the Son who became incarnate it's impossible to wrap our minds around that so it's kind of futile to try to understand that but we can take it on faith that he is immutable and yet he does care about his creatures cooperate with his preachers and he does participate in the most intimate changes here below and so it's all very dramatic intricate and we can literally choose our own adventure the point here is to choose wisely and to choose life and to try to be a saint but you know the whole question of how we interact with his creatures that's a deep mystery yeah but I know I can't really figure it out but it's like I just get right I guess I just get frustrated and I don't understand so I just want to give up because that's kind of my my deal and if you don't believe that what's happening to you is worthy of your deep gratitude and thanks to God then you need to meditate more deeply on the Incarnation and the passion death and resurrection of Christ so you need to understand that everything that happens to you is the best possible thing that could happen to you it's dynamically optimized by God it is one immutable word that everything that happens is the absolute best situation for you to maximize your chance of having the highest place in heaven so you need to thank God for everything that happens good bad and indifferent if you're bored thank God if you're excited thank God if you're overwhelmed with disaster thank God that's the number one thank gratitude and then you can start asking them to explain to you why to give you light and to show you so that you can understand how and why this is happening to you because I guarantee if you could see the how and the why then all you would do is thank God yeah so I just you know you're totally right to read redirect my thoughts that Thanksgiving you you're right because it says that all things work together for good to those who love God and that means all things everything good bad and ugly and I get that but it's just for praying for an outcome and it's kind of like my will be done God why aren't you doing what I want you to do and that's stupid anyways but then Jesus says those things are like if you ask it will be answered if you knock you will find and he says if you ask anything in my name and faith my father's gonna give it to you so those kind of statements bother me sometimes because I'm like oh like what do you mean like what are you trying to say and that's another part of the interview with Nick that you pulled out when we're talking about things being ambiguous or vague and Nick kind of took it to like the Catholic Church and that's not what I was referring to I'm I'm referring to the Bible in general the text a lot of the language is so vague it can be interpreted in some in different ways it's hard to understand like what is Jesus talking about says whatever you ask in my name and I know that doesn't mean to me but I guess to the disciple he's talking to you bro okay so what do you mean it's like I'm asking for my what you know my wife tit just it just have one minute in her day where she knows that God loves her so I'll be praying these things in faith and believing it like I really expect it like next time I see her she's gonna be like I was struggling my depression then there was just one minute during the day when I just felt God's peace wash over me I expect those kind of things and then it never happens for me I don't know if it's because the prayer of a righteous man and I just think you know God's like yeah right bro it is a tragedy not to be a saint and we could if we mustered up the courage and we could detach from ourself love you and I could become Saints the way to be a saint is to look to the Saints imitate the Saints I just get scared honestly about the marriage stuff like when I'm about to do it it makes me nervous like I get scared like I'm doing something wrong like I'm I'm gonna offend God somehow I did I'm not there yet but I'm just still it really scares me and then when I say it makes me cringe and always has made me cringe since I very first start listening to you when you're like oh yeah if any of the infallible statements of the church turned out to be false that you'll abandon Christ altogether I mean my heart always like skips a beat when I hear you say like no because if these guys have gotten something wrong then you would have been in Christ and then you'd be damned and then you'd be lost and and maybe it was just they blew it and that's just not the form of Christianity you thought no but you know what my attitude is towards religion my monotheism is rock solid nothing could ever take me away from God the Father nothing okay and you also know that in my conversion I was compelled to worship God publicly and this is an important ingredient and this is a god-given gift of faith that I had received it was an infused knowledge that God needs to be worship publicly so then what I started doing is looking at the candidates for monotheistic religions Judaism Christianity and Islam I have to be a monotheistic of entropy and I have to be a Christian because of history and then all comes down to Authority so if I find out that the church has contradicted herself with her dogmatic infallible statements then you can come to me and you can say David look I found the church that Jesus Christ built it is infallible because God is infallible and an effect cannot be greater than its cause and it does have authority and it is in defect Abul it's always been here throughout history it's always had a visible government and we can have this access to the sacraments just show me where this church is and I'll join it but I've done my research I was actually on my way to become an Orthodox I don't know if you know this about me but I was on my way I was attending Orthodox Church I was hanging out with Orthodox doing Bible study with them becoming friends with them I've never really talked about this publicly because I'm very fond of Orthodox religion so I have experience with atheism I have experience with Protestant Christianity I grew up with it and I went to Protestant churches before I discovered orthodoxy and then finally Catholicism so I did dabble in all of the different strains I've never been a Mormon I've never been a Java's witness and never belonged to any sort of non monotheistic or non-christian cult but you know from my perspective there's only Christianity and the one true Christian Church founded by Jesus Christ has to be out there it has to be available we need an infallible way of recognizing it and getting access to these essential saving truths so I don't think you need to worry about me I'm not going anywhere I'm gonna remain Catholic and a thousand difficulties don't add up to one single doubt but what about that personal relationship thing did you have anything to say about that yeah like I said I know about a bunch of good sunday-school facts about God that I just think that's different than it's like if I read a book about my wife every detail of her you know and so I knew all of her comings and goings her favorite color or this and that what makes your mad what makes her happy what makes her laugh I could know all that stuff but that's still different than having the person right there you know what I mean the only reason you know you're not aware of the relationship is because it's so intimate it's so integrated into your very being so we need to always look to the Saints and the patriarchs and the prophets and above all to Jesus Christ and his mother to have an example of how to quiet out although competing voices in our head and all those competing noises and to silence our spirit so that we can be sensitive to the promptings of the Holy Spirit that's always potential there if that relationship is always there waiting to be built and I like to think of the imagery of your heart as a place where the Trinity will come and live if only you make room get rid of all the sin get rid of all attachment to sin make room for the Trinity in your heart and they'll come and dwell in your heart now I've I'd done that no but I know that it's possible and I look at the Saints for inspiration and I'm striving for that I'm asking God for that to give me that graces to accomplish that within my lifetime so that I can be a saint one day but in the meantime I'm filled with joy and hope by looking at the example of the saints and how they did it they've already done that they've built that relationship and they have that clarity in that relationship so I'm not in despair even though I'm not a saint I'm not falling into despair because I can see that I'm on the right path and that I want to arrive there one day and I'm humbled by the fact that I'm not even close now just like you're not even close now but I'm not worried about it that's the main difference is that I'm not worried about it and it seems like you are yeah and that's the thing I need to get all those other voices out of my head and do like what you're saying that and I heard a metaphor like a jar full of water and that's like your affection and your love for God and then you start adding adding some cares of the world you put a couple of rocks in there and it displaces the water and that's like your big things your wife family mortgage all that type of stuff your health big rocks they're their big big deals and then you get all of your smaller cares you fill it up with pebbles there's still water in there but it displaces more water more water comes out of the jar and then you start filling it with in with sand and there's still water in there but it's just so displaced you know and that's like our affection for God when we let other stuff crowd in so that's a good reminder of that yeah my knee start reading the st. mark but st. John Chrysostom is awesome did Chris system yeah Chris system yeah he's it's great yeah it is a homilies powerful stuff and then one thing I wanted to ask about the interview like how come you didn't publish any of the cool parts of the interview I think there are some good positive parts where we had some common ground and like and Nick was very honest about stuff like that his worldview was getting shaken it it's very rare to hear people being honest about that stuff so would maybe someday put out a couple of a good clips I mean I did put the link to the full episode and I encourage everyone to go and listen to it and it's you're right I mean I don't want to do any spoilers but the part where you quote scripture really blew me away yeah and Nixon brother manic he's a brother I'm so grateful I meant lots of good people through your podcast and through this community that you're building and it's just God's doing it you know I I really like Kevin mark the Liz knee brothers come on man those guys are great do you have any news about Kieran's journey or no I think he's still going for the Orthodox deal and we're talking about that but I'd like to talk with you about that more sometimes because I'm really interested in orthodoxy as well that sure I've tried it a few times and I don't know I just has grabbed me I like the idea and the philosophy and some of the teaching I've heard from Orthodox people but then I go there and I just I haven't been grabbed by it really I don't know what it is there's a safety and a comfort that I get from religion that I hope that you will one day experience and I hope that Nick will one day experience the love of God melts away any doubts and anxieties that could be foisted on to me by the enemies of Christ I want the same thing for everyone just that peace and that simplicity in that intimate relationship of love and trust I want that for everyone well that's why I see people like you and I talk with you I mean you talk about the stuff to make my heart soar and it feels like you're just one of the people that really does know him and maybe I'm just not there yet and I want to be I want to be like you and I grew up that's why I told you know Nick to how attractive it was just to hear someone talking to big bad Aaron raw you know but you just had this piece and this thing and you would just laugh at the silliness of the arguments against it like the silly childish things that which that's what we do you know when we're arguing against these things it's very childish I just loved it I was just like dude I need that and I don't doubt that you have a true relationship with God if you wouldn't have that and have that type of wisdom if you did so that's why it gives a lot of credibility for me and that's why I like it that's why I'm going for it and I have found a lot of great stuff in it you know I haven't gone to one mass that I haven't been blessed by thanks you know really I haven't yet you know and trust me I'm like very critical in my mind I'm looking for something I just want to be honest and say yeah do I do have doubts I'm not 100% on all the finer points but hey and another thing like so if Mary and all that stuff neurology is real would Mary just tell me would you just do that or one the Saints are simple yeah I mean this is what happened to me I mean I I don't know if you know but I had sort of a mystical encounter with Mary you did in a dream yeah no way yeah well I want that pray for that for me I will put in a good word for me good I'm not even kidding yeah a little someone would help a lot I think if you listen to Amanda marks episode it would help you I did I loved it she's great she's like an anti Catholic Protestant her husband suddenly converts and she's digging her heels in and then BAM like she just sees the light it's unbelievable yeah I want that unbelievable I need that why didn't it because now that Jen's kind of coming out of her depression a little bit more she's she's back to being a little more intact oh yeah so I don't know it's still gonna be a big struggle yeah now what is this thing about the cult side of Catholicism oh yeah yeah okay yeah I don't know that was Nick you can't blame him you agreeing along with them why no I'm saying yeah I kind of get what he's saying like how people in a cult won't listen to reason or to any evidence to the contrary or something but no one has an alternative for me so if I seem like I'm fixated like a maniac on the Church of Jersey you are kind of like so what if it's the truth and you'd want to be that way yeah I mean if it's true then it is button to to anyone outside of that it's gonna be kind of cultish I know but what is the alternative right yeah I don't know Protestantism for me is ruined and just like I can't go back there again so okay that's not saying it's Catholicism fault then it's Eastern Orthodox and if that's false I don't know what I'm gonna do I really don't but like Peter said when it comes down to at the end of the day I have no hope outside of Jesus Christ I do not have any hope outside here and like you say you always have the father it's like I have the father - but like Jesus as well because I know he's the one that showed up when I was in my darkest hour whose Christ and I had that dramatic experience that we all know well aware of and I cannot deny that so I cannot deny Jesus Christ so I have nowhere else to go so where is the true church there has to be a true church and that's where I'm just really trying to find it and then it's not in these like last areas here I don't know what to do but I can't deny Jesus Christ and if I get to that point where I denied Christ I don't know what I do I don't think there isn't any other way to go you know and and and follow it as a cult like what you're saying or like how Nick thinks of it I think that's kind of that kind of is what it is man you know like we have to believe and fight for it with all we got and you know if it's true then that's how we should probably he I don't know but do I think it like a cult ish that thing I don't know I think that maybe maybe there's some superstition in the thing but there's superstition everyone was superstitious creatures so I don't know but yeah but you're hardcore like you're hardcore Catholic man but if but if Catholicism is true I want to be a hardcore Catholic just like when I was when I was at distance ational s evangelical I was freaking hardcore dude I did really annoying guy really annoying cause out on the streets preaching being a street preacher I did all that stuff for four years yeah it's funny I mean you're the type that dives in but for some reason you're hesitating with the church to dive in you're right I am that type of dude so I don't know but I'm right about to just because I got nothing else to lose and I'm not gonna experience the Dallas is unless I totally jump in I don't know if you remember but when I first converted I was staying away from private revelation like the Marian apparitions and I was staying away from any prayer that wasn't directly to God the Father so I can relate to your trepidation and I love and respect your jealousy that you have for God and for Jesus only do it comfortable with and keep your eyes open and always ask God is this okay does this offend you in any way if so I don't want to do it just as I am doing just that all the time so God is faithful and he will reveal it to me I hope you know but then we can open a whole nother can of worms with that'd be just fooling myself and I am gonna call that real no no no but listen I have first-hand experience with this I was very jealous of God the Father I didn't even have I didn't need not even believe in Jesus Christ until I took the plunge and I I got confirmed right and it took years it took years for me to get warmed up to Jesus but I just kept asking God the Father is this okay does this offend you no okay I get a feeling of peace and I just move forward it's all about that quiet time when you're on your own you just ask God is this okay does this offend you if it defends you I want nothing to do with it that's it and you'll get peace and you move into that peace and that space of peace will become bigger and bigger and bigger until you're at home in the church and you love everything about the church and that's where I am today all right man yeah and I want to get there and I think I will yeah yeah there's another thing I want to say if you don't mind please please please please keep going to Mass and for God's sake go to confession once every week or two at least once a month it's really really important for your holiness you need to be holy because God is holy so you need to grow in holiness so you need to keep going to confession don't put it off don't delay don't get lazy keep going to confession it's really really really important okay you scared the out of me the other day I'm gonna like go there to make sure you're not gonna go to hell if you die I'm like wait what dude come on I'm like well what if I get in a car accident on my way over there well then you find your intention is to go to confession that that's good and I love that you sit back like but it you know well dude I got it I got a pinch in these kids but bro ok I love you you're the best and uh yeah this has been really fun and thinking man thank you very much I love you too and we'll talk soon okay okay brother god bless bye bye