okay it's just gonna be a quick live uh rant i guess uh it's been a while since i've been on here basically what i want to talk about is i'm a bit annoyed i have to admit i went i got up early to go to one of my favorite churches here in montreal i don't think i'm going to name but it was supposed to be month four of my first five saturday's devotion i've been trying to do this for years i always get part way through and something goes wrong so yet again it went wrong i'm gonna make a concerted effort uh to complete the five first saturday's devotion if god willing i live that long i can't see why i wouldn't live that long i'm young and healthy i'm 51 years old but you never know what's gonna happen and uh but i've been trying to do this for a long time it's just annoying and so what happened is i got up early and i checked the website of the church to verify and i got on my bike and i biked for 45 minutes in the freezing cold and up a steep hill to get to the church and i was told you can't come in because you don't have a vaccine so i i actually knew that this church had just begun dividing up masses segregating people into vaxxed and unvaxed okay so i knew that i knew that this morning because i looked at the website and it told me that because advent is a particularly busy time of year gonna limit the number of people by imposing the vaccine mandate the vaccine passport policy so whatever i was mildly annoyed but i thought okay it's all right i'll just go to the masses um but i through my own fault made a mistake interpreting the schedule i just wasn't paying too close of attention i showed up the wrong time and it was i was asked to present my vaccine passport which i don't have because i'm not and so i just uh i just started talking to the lady at the front desk and explaining that i am catholic and that i'm here at a catholic church to pray and to avail myself of the sacraments and she said well unfortunately there's a rule where if you well at this time of day you're not allowed in unless you have the passport so i explained to her that i had owned the office of the christina pin christina cristian le pin uh also phoned uh to speak with the secretary of the auxiliary one of the auxiliary bishops of montreal thomas dowd he's an anglophone and both phone calls reassured me that there situation in the future where i would be deprived or denied access refused access into any catholic church during nor opening hours and that i would they assured me that i would be able to have access to the church for prayer in you know provided that i met the usual conditions of entry into a church you know can't go in naked can't go in drunk or high on drugs or with a machete or ak 15 or anything like that obviously but provided i go in as i normally have been in the habit of going to church fully dressed and in my right mind and sober then i would be allowed in i was reassured by the archbishop and by the auxiliary bishop that i would never ever in the province of cuba the province of quebec be denied access during its normal i could not be discriminated against based on my vaccine status that i could not be turned away at the door that this would never happen in the province of quebec that it would never happen but it happened so i i raised a little bit of a stink i said look i'm catholic spoken to the bishop he assured me that this would never just here to pray i'm just here to pray and to avail myself in a worthy manner of the sacraments and furthermore i am on month four of a five month devotion to the blessed virgin mary and i'd like to come in now because i can't because later in the day there was a slot for the unvaccinated i explained that i biked for 45 minutes and that i just want to come in and pray and go to confession go to mass say some more prayers meditate for 15 minutes on the mysteries and possibly say my rosary in the church too i like to do that when i do my first saturday devotions so i was planning on staying a little bit longer and praying the rosary because i like to do it on my knees in the church in front of a blessed sacrament that's the best way to do it so i explained all this and i explained that i was assured by the office of the auxiliary bishop and by the archbishop himself that i would never be denied the sacraments and can you please just let me in and make an exception i know this is the current rule that you guys have adopted here but uh they refuse to let me in so i spoke with the security guards or two security guards who came and were kind of took me off to the side and were trying to reason with me and when i told him that the bishop had promised me that i would never be denied access based on vaccination status one of the security guards said well have you never read in the bible how we catholics are supposed to submit to civil authority which i found a bit odd because although we are supposed to submit to civil authority the church is not subject to civil authority the church is not beneath civil authority so the bishop is not beneath the premier of quebec right it's the premier of quebec that's giving these directives these um policies i guess you could call them and i was assured by the bishop that those policies would not prevent me from having access to prayer in the sacraments in the catholic churches of the province of quebec this point about submitting to civil authority it is valid but it's misapplied in this case because the highest authority in the archdiocese of montreal is the bishop and i was reassured by him that i would always have access it would never be turned away because of vaccination status i tried explaining this to him and he just said you're gonna have to leave or i'm gonna phone the cops so i said okay phone the cops so he phoned the cops i mean i tried to get above him in the hierarchy i said what is your authority based on who is above you in the hierarchy and he said the administration of this this church which i don't want to name um but i think you can gather a fairly big church so um he said that he he refused to escalate it and to allow me to talk to a priest or to talk to any of the administrators who are all priests by the way and i know i know many of them because i frequent this church and i have been frequenting this church for years so i know many of them by face i'm a catholic i'm here to pray and to avail myself of the sacraments can we um obviously not a big big emergency but i think it's reasonable to be granted access to quietly go about my business for an hour or two right in any case um the security guards called the police the police came they were already there because the police anticipated that there would be some um resistance or some frustration probably with this new policy of limiting access to the vaccinated only during certain hours you know i do appreciate that there are hours allotted to the unvaccinated i do appreciate that i'm very grateful for that and so it's not a complete nightmare situation i don't need to go find an underground catholic church that will allow me to have access to the sacraments it hasn't reached that point yet in quebec and there was a church out east in one of the atlantic provinces that suggested vaccinated only for their diocese and that was overturned by the bishop of that diocese almost immediately because of the backlash and common sense prevailed so um there are little hints here and there in eastern canada some administrators wanting to lean that way towards the uh vax mandate the backs passport policy for access to the sacraments so in any case there were police situated outside and they came in so now i have two security guards and three police officers all five of them in uniform and uh i'm still in the sort of foyer or the entrance way to the church and people are dripping in showing their smartphone so-called smartphones and entering in friendly police officer who took the lead there were two men and a woman the one man a large black man i'm not sure what the politically nice friendly guy he just wanted to know and i just explained to him the same thing that i just been explaining to the security guard for 10 minutes namely that i'm here to pray i'm here to avail myself of the sacraments and it's not convenient for me to come back seven hours later this was not convenient for me my schedule just doesn't work for me and i've got a three month investment in this five month program that i'm working on and i don't have plan b you know so i mean they just kept telling me well you can go to a different church and you can come back later and you could do this and you can do that and i would always come back with the same point which was the question of authority well what authority do you have to prevent me from praying in this church and from unveiling myself of the sacraments in this church what authority do you have where does that authority come from the policeman said his authority comes from the state and i explained to him that in religion monotheistic religion we have god and underneath in the catholic religion underneath god in the hierarchy we have the pope and then we have the bishops and i have the word of the bishop that i will not be turned away right so this is not a civil issue this is a religious issue it is the religious hierarchy that we need to examine here to sort out these policies are they catholic policies in union with the teaching and directives and pastoral care of the bishop or are they anti-catholic policies that are preventing catholics such as myself from exercising our rights and we do have anyway needless to say these police not interested in hearing about the hierarchy or sorting out the chain of command they were not interested they just said you can leave now or we're going to remove you and if you resist then you're in big trouble right and i asked why would i be removed why would i be removed and they just kept emphasizing it because of the policy of this establishment and i do understand i mean it is it is the case that that establishment has a policy in place but it happens to be in contradiction to what i was told by not only the archbishop of montreal but the auxiliary bishop too i phoned a second bishop he's only an auxiliary bishop but i just wanted to get that reassurance this was months ago perhaps the bishops have changed their minds perhaps my information that i got the reassurance that i got is out of date it's meaningful because they've moved on they've caved to the pressure they've changed their mind they're willing to have policies creep ins ever so slowly that would segregate they vaccinated from the i mentioned in in passing to the to the i don't know to the cops or to the security guards i can't remember which now but i just mentioned in passing if all these people here i said is everyone here in this big church is everyone here today at this time vaccinated and they assured me that yes everyone just let me in because they're all safe they're all protected they're all they're all vaccinated right it's safe right so what is the problem i know it's an exception to the policy that was made by this establishment i but the letter of the law kills the spirit gives i have to admit i'm a little bit depressed because of this but um i'll get over it it's not a big deal i to a wonderful canadian priest who is in ottawa ontario the capital the nation's capital and he was talking about the new world order and how we can't cave to their worldly demands and he gave a wonderful example um i know this priest's name i'm just struggling now to remember it out of context uh mark other mark goring is that right father mark corey forgive me if i got that wrong but uh he gave an example a very touching example of how catholics who follow civil authorities mindlessly can end up in some pretty sticky situations and the example he gave was rwanda the genocide in rwanda many years i was alive i remember it made a splash in the news a big enough splash that made it onto my radar i my radar is tuned so low that only the biggest items appear on my radar that was the case even before i became a catholic but this uh tragedy in rwanda between these two warring tribes got on my radar and father mark gave a touching example of how a religious woman a nun catholic in her convent followed the instructions that came through the mainstream media her radio tv and whatever it was newspapers whatever the communication of the day was in rwanda she got the message over a period of days telling her to kill the members of this other tribe those of you who follow world events will know what i'm talking about these two tribes and the one prepared arms to slaughter the other at an opportune moment when uh i think the government fell because of some airplane crash or something like that i don't know the details i've never been too swift when it comes to current events but you can go and look up the story for the background but the point here is that this catholic nun killed her because that was the policy that was the policy of the government right of this tribe that she happened to belong to that became dominant because of the circumstances precarious tense situation right but she belonged to that tribe and she was told by the mainstream media and by her civil authorities to kill mercilessly just like in the old testament we read stories about this kill without mercy women children men of slaughter the animals it's very old testament and she fell for it and she killed her sister and so father mark goring the current situation and the dangers of the current situation where catholics ostensible catholics are blindly some of them following blindly some of them many of them maybe following blindly the policies and directives and i'm using this term sarcastically but the pastoral care of the civil it's not a joke it's not funny it's very very serious it's very very dangerous when we who are supposed to be in the world but not of the world are instruments not of christ but instruments of satan and we implement the policies of satan when we implement worldly policies in the church in our own practices in our in our own church that we are the administrators of this church and we implement the policies of satan it's not the first time i've seen evidence of this it's rampant i'm not here to bash the catholic church in canada but i've seen since my conversion and since before my conversion i've seen how the church is worldly the members of the church some of the members of the church many of the members of the church seem to be very very worldly and i'm not above them i'm not superior to them i'm concerned about my own weakness my own worldliness my own penchant for satan and his wily ways i'm weaker than all the rest combined not i'm not uh raising myself up here not for a moment i know myself i know okay so i'm not putting anyone down i'm just saying that it's not the way that it's not the way of christ it's not it's not if you'll get my life you're going to see that i'm not doing it right and if you look at some of these policy makers in the church you'll see that in other ways they are not doing it right they are not following the way of christ in this particular aspect or that particular aspect just like in my life i have certain weak spots where i am not following christ obviously we all but the reason i'm putting energy into this rant is because it has great implications my little world and my little weaknesses are putting my eternal salvation right but my sins day to day they don't contaminate too much they don't spill over too much i would say i would hope because most of it just takes place in my mind it's it's uh temptations in terms of thoughts and imagination and not having custody of the eyes and these sorts of things and the worst that can happen is i'll have a nocturnal emission or something so it's not really affecting a lot of people's eternal salvation but if you're a policymaker in a church and you're turning away people who have been coming loyally all throughout the year to your establishment to avail themselves of prayer in the sacraments and they've been financially supporting you with the tithes and with the alms giving and you decide you're going to turn them away why not for health reasons no i was assured of that by everyone involved by the security guards and by the police i was assured listen we're not you're not being turned away because of your vaccination status this is just a way this is just a policy to limit the numbers of people that are coming here because during advent and christmas time we get a lot of people coming here and so it's just a policy to limit the numbers well it's a policy that favors lukewarm catholics and that faber favors spectators and tourists okay and i've got nothing against letting those people in let them come and see what they're missing the catholics who are catholic in name only who come on christmas or during the christmas season and on easter or during lent those catholics who haven't been to confession in decades and they only come physically into the church at christmas and easter and maybe some marriages and funerals and baptisms these sorts of things these cultural catholics i wish them well i hope they come and get inspired to meet at least the minimum requirements that the church obliges them to meet if they want to call themselves catholic i hope that i encourage them i wish them well i hope they will get inspired when they come to church but i don't understand why i'm being turned away when i've been a faithful son of the church not a not a perfectly faithful son i'm in desperate need sacrament of confession not right now because i confessed last week but i'm in desperate need generally of salvation of christ and his church i'm in desperate need of that or i will end up in hell so i wonder how these people would feel if they turned away someone who wanted to get in the state of grace they were turned away and they remain in the state of mortal sin and then god forbid they get hit by a truck where they have a heart attack or whatever before they can be reconciled i know there's that baptism of desire and there's probably also a reconciliation of desire i believe in that i do believe in that so i'm not terribly worried about it but it's just the idea that church administrators will be those of us who are striving sincerely striving to get right with god before death and just welcoming in sodomites adulterers and again i'm not raising myself above these people i'm just saying i i know people i know the kinds of catholics who go to church at christmas and easter only and who adore the architecture and the organ music and they enjoy all the cultural stuff but they don't believe in god they don't believe obviously in jesus christ or the incarnation or the i know many people who call themselves are in a damnable state permanent state of mortal sin because of their perseverance in sin i'm not saying i'm better than i'm just saying that i'm striving i'm striving to get right with i'm striving to avail myself in a worthy manner of prayer in the sacraments and i don't i did not expect to be turned away today maybe that's what i deserve and i'll just take it as a pennant so that's what i deserve but there's the underlying issue the greater pic the bigger picture here of authority where is the authority when i was arguing with the cops they could only see the civil authority that's all that's on their radar and i asked him well if you have authority i said do you sir do you have authority he said yes i do it's given to me by the state and i said well then walk me over to the counter and use that authority to make her give me an exception so i could just go in because all i'm going to do is quietly pray and avail myself of confession and i'm going to go to mass and then when i was speaking with the uh they kept referring me to the same issue this is the policy this is the policy that was decided upon by church this particular place here again i don't want to name it there seems to be a complete lack of understanding of the hierarchy the priests who decided that they're not superior to the archbishop of montreal they are inferior they're subordinate in that hierarchy right now this security guard made a good point well obviously if the policy has been implemented here by the priests here obviously they couldn't do that without the authority of the bishop that's a good point so that means there are basically two possibilities of what experience today the first possibility is the bishop isn't communicating properly that people should not be turned away based on their because when he assured me that i would never be refused the sacraments i would never be turned he meant it but he didn't implement it that's one possibility the other possibility is or he changed his mind or he caved to the pressure i don't i don't know i i don't know which way reality went because it it's months ago now that i got this reassurance a lot can change in one day in much less a few months so i don't know what happened i really don't know what happened my hunch if i had to guess my hunch is that at the time the bishop could not imagine that anyone would ever be denied entry into a church in his archdiocese he could not imagine that that would ever come about and so he just reassured me based on his naive presupposition that that's unrealistic it's not gonna happen don't worry it's never gonna happen it's never gonna happen oops okay it's happening right and then the pressure from the civil authorities and it's like you have to play ball and you have to cooperate okay we'll implement a policy we'll allow churches to have a policy where they can have hours for the vast hours for the unboxed and we'll have faithful okay so probably that's what happened the bishop just caved to those pressures and not a big deal everyone can still avail themselves of sacraments you just have to go in your little lane stay in your lane and everything will be fine and it's not every church that's doing it in fact i think this is uh i've heard rumors of others so this is the first one i've encountered that is actually implementing this policy of uh anyway i'm a bit disappointed i'm going to start again maybe in i'll do march april may june july or i'll do april may june july august or may june july august september something like that because i do want to get this accomplished once and for all i've started so many times and i've always failed and like i said i probably deserve what i get right i'm no saint so i deserve obstacles i deserve to be turned away i deserve to be spat upon i wasn't spat upon today i was just turned away so i'm not getting the rough treatment that i deserve i mean i deserve to be burning in hell for all eternity and i'm getting yet another chance to get right with god and to hopefully not end up in hell so i'm very very grateful to christ and his church i'm not blaming the weak members of the church that are implementing satan's policies i'm not blaming them i think it's perfectly natural and normal to cave to pressure because we don't like pressure we don't like displeasing our fellow man right losing the respect so i basically was walked out the police officer said look i'm uh he said i'm not interested in hearing about the hierarchy of the church this is the policy here you have to leave if you don't leave we're gonna forcibly take you out and if you resist you're in big trouble so i just said okay well let's let's go but as we were walking out i mean this cop was big and i'm five nine or something i don't know 100 i'm 175 centimeters tall whatever that is and this big macho guy is not really montre he's just uh you know big and strong i kind of tapped him on this chest piece he's got one of these kevlar chest pieces on or whatever it is you know the full gear i don't know what that's made out of plastic maybe but i just kind of tapped him in the center of the chest and i said how would you feel tap tap tap how would you feel if you had a religion that you cared about and you were turned away i said how would you feel about that he just said take your hands off me don't touch it was a sad and depressing day for me it really was i was i was not expecting that when i woke up i was all excited that i'm on my way to completing finally i will have done four of five first saturdays i was all excited i was excited all week for this right now i know it's not some superstitious vending machine magic trick do the thing and get the reward and all this sort of thing but it's a gesture of love to our lady of fatima it's a gesture of love i've been trying to make to her and i've been messing it up time after time what i used to do i used to mess it up because i would go on the first saturday of the month and in my excitement i would keep going on the next saturday instead of waiting a month and going and then i'll just get confused that way because of my excitement and because these these places where they offer the sort of guided first saturday devotions they're quite distant so i would have to take a bus and there's a big and a big ordeal and yeah i would make it to the first time the second time and then i would end up messing up the schedule or just whatever and it's such a hassle to get there so i said okay i'll just do it on my own without a sort of group guiding me and you know they do common prayers together and these sorts of things but i said i'll just try to do it on my own and i've tried i just i've just failed it's not that hard right it's not that hard but i don't have uh well first of all my transportation is limited uh and during the pandemic now obviously it's uh very limited where i can find a priest that'll even do confession it's not easy if i don't go to this big touristy one then i've basically got to make a rendezvous make an appointment to go to confession it's it's a real pain it's a it's a pain it's it's very uncomfortable not because i have to take the time to make an appointment but because it's obviously a nuisance to the priest it's not part of his routine these priests are not in the habit of of their flock they're not in the habit and so that's why i've been going to church i won't name it but it's big and it's touristy and the thing i like about it even though it's very very left leaning and progressive or whatever you want to call it the thing i like about it is there's always a priest in the confessional i can go and i can find a priest and i can do confession whereas at my parish i have to phone i have to make an appointment it's a big deal not a big deal for me but i i know i'm aggravating the priest because he's not in the habit of doing it i'm just that annoying guy that wants to take 15 minutes or half an hour out of his morning or whatever it is and that 15 or 20 minutes is probably more like an hour when he has to orchestrate all juggle around all these other things because these priests go they're not just taking care of one church one parish they're doing multiple parishes because the crisis that we have here in quebec they run ragged and is just they don't have time to do confession and they're not in the habit because i'm so encouraged when i go to the larger what i would call commercial churches or touristy churches because they have confession ongoing you will go and you'll see lineups you'll have to actually wait in line to get in the confessional that i love that i feel more comfortable because i know that they're in the habit of doing it and i'm not robbing them of precious time where they need to get over to the next parish or whatever it is whatever their demands are made on these priests that are run ragged at the parish level so these big commercial touristy churches are where i prefer to confess but that explains why they're going to cater to the tourists they're going to cater to the lukewarm catholics who are catholic in name only not to insult them but that's where they're at right now hopefully with uh with the experience of coming to these touristy churches they'll get the taste for catholicism and they'll go back to more keeping their sunday obligation and going to confession at least once a year but there is a temptation to cater to the tourist and to the cultural catholic at a lot of these bigger places and of course because they're bigger they're getting faithful catholics as well i mean people who i'm sure many of them are going to confession frequently and daily mass all kind of all kinds of things so all kinds of people at these i do i do think it's a dangerous road to go down i do think it's dangerous for the church and it's it's not going to you know affect my faith it's not going to make me want to rebel and jump jump ship and go somewhere else but it does affect my relationship with this particular establishment where i had this particular experience it does leave a bad taste in my mouth do they care not really i'm just a how will that play out how will that walk with god how will that play out because you know when i came into the church in 2009 i was aware of the corruption in the church and that's what this is by the way the the vax segregation is corruption make no mistake about it it is corruption it's caving to the world there should be no segregation this is ridiculous i mean i could have had aids i could have had a syphilis i could have all kinds of things as long as i have that mrna or whatever whatever these things are that are approved by the state authorities right as long as i have that come on in right even if i have the placebo but uh i feel a little bit better actually because i don't have anyone to talk to about this uh you know i mentioned it to my wife and she just thinks my religion is a joke and that it's a satanic church full of pedophiles and criminals and whatever so it's not satisfying to talk get bitter about it i mean like like i was just saying i came into the church in 2009 i already knew that the church was corrupt and i already knew from experience like just the first few priests that i had talked to you start to see the landscape it's like wow it's very inconsistent okay very inconsistent and especially since i was asking a lot of questions when i was a brand new catholic asking a lot of questions about stuff i'm excited about right not getting the catholic answers you know just putting it out there bang this is the this is the beautiful church that i joined and then getting back that's challenging that's challenging it's been a challenge from day dot they're good people in the church many many many good people in the church here in montreal here in quebec here in canada here in north america and on planet earth many many many good and faithful catholics striving to be faithful i don't know what the percentage is i would probably guess a good solid 10 or 15 percent of catholics are striving to be s sincerely faithful a good 10 or 15 and in the clergy i don't even want to guess because it's just it's a horrible thing to contemplate whatever number i put on it it's not going to be pretty right it's not going to be pretty i wouldn't even speculate because i just met a lot of priests who are claiming anyway to believe things that are anti-catholic so is it my interpretation of what they said or i mean like i've met priests who just one moment here my wife's just like i was saying i'm gonna wrap this up my wife just got home but as i was saying i've met priests who deny the real presence i've met priests uh who believe uh it's okay to masturbate i've met priests obviously who believe in evolution probably tolerated by the church to some extent but in any case i'm just i'm just letting you know that i've always known it's holy it's catholic and it's apostolic i know that but i also know that it's populated by blood humans who are prone to worldliness i know that i've always so my primary concern is to just continue to strive to strive against my own nature my own fallen nature which is so weak and so pathetic and disgusting and i just like a little bit more help from those who are in the church here in montreal i just like a little bit but i have all grace i need to be saved i have sufficient grace to be saved i know that too so i can't blame anyone but myself i can't take credit for anything all of the credit i've given over to christ through mary so that's it i hope you have a great day and hopefully i'll start back up on my reading of the fundamentals of catholic dogma taking a little break as you know but hopefully i'll be back i don't think anyone listens to it anyway but i do enjoy it for myself and hopefully a couple of people will get turned on to this wonderful book and to dogmatic theology generally so that's it for today thanks for listening to the rant and we'll talk very soon take care we'll talk very soon take care yourselves god bless