Catholic vs. Protestant – 2017-04-15 – Josephine Ross


This is my mother, whom I love very much. I recorded this interview while visiting my parents in Kingston, Ontario, during Easter weekend, 2017.

Transcript

Please excuse any errors as these captions were automatically generated by YouTube.

0:00 hi I’m Josephine Ross you’re listening
0:02 to Catholic versus Protestant toe looks
0:09 a little bit about yourself who you are
0:10 what you believe and why you believe it
0:12 well I was raised protestant i went to
0:16 the united church as a child i also went
0:20 to the Salvation Army periodically and
0:23 what was it like growing up with the
0:25 United Church of candidate did you were
0:28 you taught to pray by your mother before
0:29 bed and stuff like that before meals
0:30 with your father pray before meals oh no
0:32 my father did the closest thing my
0:35 father came to saying anything religious
0:37 for my mother had a felon or some pain
0:40 and she told that he’d say tell your
0:43 troubles to the Lord yeah he wasn’t
0:45 recognized religious tough but and he
0:49 wasn’t a round hole I’d he left and had
0:52 a baby with another woman while I was
0:53 being born so I didn’t know okay as I
0:57 how did how did it come about that you
0:59 were going to church well it was just
1:01 what we did it was we girls would why I
1:06 was baptized when I was about eight the
1:09 Queen Street United Church was about two
1:12 blocks away and we’d go to church I
1:17 don’t remember mom going with us
1:18 probably because she was so happy to
1:21 have an hour free of kids I hey and how
1:25 many how many kids were near there were
1:27 seven girls and no boys no boys no ok so
1:33 you I remember when I was young when you
1:35 taught me how to play before bad that’s
1:36 right your mom teach you or no she must
1:39 have I don’t recall it but would you
1:41 greatly yeah we always got near by the
1:43 bed and say now I lay me down to sleep
1:46 as I thought about it later cuz i taught
1:49 you guys to do that before you go to bed
1:51 but that i thought how scary really for
1:55 a little kid to say if i should die
1:56 before I wake you know but yeah we pray
2:01 that i still pray do you still say that
2:03 prayer not open on my heart is the
2:06 Lord’s Prayer okay no other was just
2:09 scared
2:11 but and I always I think it’s Psalm 122
2:18 I always say that at night I sipped
2:21 through the day dreamers are you holding
2:23 up I shall lift up mine eyes unto the
2:25 hills from whence cometh my strength my
2:27 strengths cometh from the Lord which
2:29 created heaven and earth he shall not
2:32 suffer thy foot to be moved he who
2:34 keepeth thee shall not slumber behold he
2:37 who keepeth Israel shall neither slumber
2:39 nor sleep the Lord is thy keeper the
2:42 Lord aside yield upon thy right hand the
2:45 Sun shall not smite thee by day nor the
2:47 moon by night the Lord shall preserve
2:49 thee from all evil he shall preserve thy
2:52 soul shall preserve thy going out and
2:55 thy coming in from this day forward and
2:57 even forevermore okay would you recite
3:02 songs as a family of the kid or oh no no
3:05 there was never any sort touch of
3:07 religion really in the head interesting
3:10 that you guys will go to church yeah I
3:12 don’t know it’s just natural yeah we
3:14 just did it was and it was close mom
3:18 believed in God and she wanted us to
3:22 grow up okay yeah can you tell me a
3:27 little bit about I know it’s not
3:29 pleasant but when you went to high
3:30 school some was Catholic girl fiocchi
3:31 Josiah told aya well we do we’d be
3:35 walking along princess street and the
3:39 Catholic girls be on the other side and
3:41 these two girls and they’d haul her over
3:44 nasty stuff at us like hey look at her
3:47 she’s got red hair black eyebrows
3:50 because I had red hair by five I always
3:55 picked on me because I was always shy
3:57 anyway one time we were at Skelton Park
4:01 and these two Catholic girls show up and
4:05 they start beating me up and this is
4:10 when I was a lot younger than going to
4:11 high school and I bound and bent I was
4:16 not going to shed a tear through it and
4:18 they pulled my hair and pulled it i’m
4:20 sure they pulled some of it until at
4:22 last he stood back and said
4:24 wow she doesn’t feel any pain still sits
4:27 torturing me anymore but anyway the when
4:31 I was going to high school and these
4:34 same Catholic girls we were walking by
4:36 the bell telephone and she started
4:40 beating me up again right in front of
4:41 the tough on the guys from the frame at
4:44 the bell at the window hollering at you
4:47 no catfighting or whatever you know
4:49 anyway that was probably in October and
4:53 then in March I went started work as a
4:57 very building I saw those same guys that
5:01 it’s a refighting a so what happened as
5:06 you girls grew up did some of the kids
5:08 go deep into hardcore religion and
5:10 others less so or what’s the would not
5:13 affect from there no no what it was over
5:16 the top religious and nobody ever ever
5:20 ever swore in my home no no the only
5:25 time well if when we were at little we’d
5:28 ride mom nuts and we keep it up until
5:31 she said damn and when she said damn you
5:34 knew that was time to stop I thought
5:39 grandmother lived right next door she
5:42 was an interesting interesting lady your
5:45 grandmother yeah told fortunes and and
5:49 what was her trade name not amazing and
5:53 it was in the personal column of the wig
5:56 standard madam AZ knows all tells off
6:00 did she ever tell fortunes to her family
6:02 and friends are only two strangers I she
6:04 only paying customers had crystal ball
6:09 on a kitchen table and mom would be at
6:13 some time we lived there we lived
6:15 upstairs but did you have a mystique
6:19 about her or no I asked you know she
6:20 didn’t put on any gypsy type though no
6:24 but she was she had a presence that’s
6:28 what I would say okay she never cared
6:30 for me too much but my mom when we were
6:33 living that one
6:34 mom told me that my mother would be in
6:39 the living room and knock had come to
6:41 the door and it would be someone who
6:43 wander fortune told and they’d walk past
6:46 the living room to the kitchen mom could
6:49 hear them going out there and the chair
6:51 is being pulled out and then I see
6:55 someone in uniform as soon as it was the
6:58 war time everybody had Oh is he gonna be
7:01 all right yes he’s going to be all right
7:05 you know and they were glad to hear it
7:09 whether it shouldn’t have any powers but
7:13 she had the power of the tux yeah okay
7:17 and she was yeah she was special word no
7:22 it’s fun I never felt like I had a
7:24 grandmother at all truth about why you
7:28 just never had a grandmother that would
7:30 hug you know huh yeah what about your
7:32 mom’s mom she was sort of very very
7:36 unhappy lady she is not too warm no I
7:41 sure norm at all I don’t remember a
7:42 touch of me over I guess I didn’t like
7:47 her as a kid but as I’m older I can
7:50 realize that she was very unhappy
7:51 because this would be interesting in
7:54 your Catholic versus Protestant she was
7:56 in love with Catholic life he was in
7:59 love with her and in those days you did
8:02 not do it both families wouldn’t have
8:05 any part of it but too so they were
8:08 forbidden to marry and then however it
8:11 came about she married my grandfather
8:14 who was 18 years older than her I’m sure
8:18 they didn’t even like each other so when
8:21 you got a bit older and started working
8:23 as an adult or whatever left home no I
8:26 never left home till I got married okay
8:28 yeah but when you met dad was it just a
8:31 happy coincidence that you both belong
8:33 to the United Church of Canada well I
8:35 don’t remember it being savvy no I was
8:39 happy to read a but sort of thing like
8:43 incidental I went to yeah it’s church
8:45 was never sort of oh my god I gotta go
8:48 to
8:48 I’m going to die you know and he said it
8:51 was something you did and it was a part
8:55 of your life and a nice party in life
8:58 but when you met that and you just
9:00 casually found out he was united church
9:01 of canada and when you got when you were
9:03 going to get married it was just a
9:05 natural thing they didn’t require any
9:06 thought or anything just get married in
9:08 the United Church yeah that’s right and
9:10 he attended princess street united
9:12 church so that’s where we got married
9:14 where then when you guys were baptized
9:17 you all were baptized in the princess
9:21 street united yeah you gotta stop ties
9:23 nice and young i think i was three
9:25 months old yeah okay dad was baptized
9:28 late i think he was baptized 13 years
9:30 old i think i was 12 something like that
9:32 so as you when you got married and had
9:35 kids and all that sort of thing up until
9:38 that point religion was just in the
9:39 background just as a pleasant sort of
9:41 sunday activities yeah that’s right
9:43 where the right it was something you did
9:45 it and wasn’t you didn’t do it because
9:48 you had to did it because you wanted to
9:51 and you want your kids to be raised in
9:53 the church and you know go to Sunday
9:55 School and was their peer pressure from
9:58 the neighbors and family no no
9:59 absolutely no pressure whatsoever you
10:03 you went to church because you wanted to
10:06 go with a family thing then go to the
10:09 golden arches after he might have been
10:14 an incentive for your kids but you kids
10:16 never ever ever said I don’t want to go
10:18 to church I don’t wanna go to Sunday
10:20 School never sure and it wasn’t like I
10:22 was going to be if you didn’t very hazy
10:24 and mom would we pick up mom my mom
10:28 would be living with us said she’d go to
10:30 church with us and yeah it was just nice
10:34 and that always enjoyed in fact I was
10:37 going to say to you that he really
10:39 misses church yeah he told me that it is
10:41 a hurry yes he tells that all the time
10:43 and I say well why don’t you go to
10:45 church you can’t standard the crowds
10:49 yeah so in your own personal life did
10:53 you ever doubt God or become an atheist
10:56 retina you know did you ever curse God
10:59 oh yeah I swear you mean no but I mean
11:02 angry oh I’d be angry angry thoughts
11:05 time for a lot of things that happen in
11:08 my life Sir Richard against me that I
11:13 want to die I still want to die I would
11:19 say I’ve lost the joy of living or we
11:22 don’t go through deep to crash and tried
11:24 to kill myself twice here and come out
11:29 on this game no but through all the dark
11:33 stuff did you maintain a prayer life I
11:36 have stupid you know i still believe but
11:41 i don’t think anybody can live and see
11:43 things that happen to people kids and
11:46 all that that you wonder why you know
11:49 God can do so much why he allows stuff
11:53 to go on but I know that he gave us the
11:57 power to think for ourselves and and I
12:00 try to say not my will but thy will be
12:04 done you know yes and but I can’t see a
12:10 tiny little seed that has all the stuff
12:13 in there to make it a beautiful flower
12:15 without knowing that there is a God
12:17 there is someone that creates at it
12:19 doesn’t just happen you know so you
12:21 never fell into 8th you know I know it
12:23 is never did not I never stopped
12:27 believing in God but I did wonder if I
12:30 say at times I think how come on first
12:33 being so we do bad no it just things
12:38 that happened you know I think you know
12:40 what yes a lot of different yeah do you
12:43 think that you’ve had an amount of joy
12:46 to compensate for that or no no would
12:49 you rather be more a little bit more
12:51 like me where I don’t feel a lot of
12:52 highs and lows oh yeah lots of times I
12:55 say that like that can roll with the
12:59 punches more than I can and he’s very
13:02 happy being him yeah I’ve never been
13:07 very happy being me you ever wonder why
13:10 you have to suffer so much no it was
13:14 rebutted by which I just want to apply
13:16 god what a beta I don’t want to live
13:20 anymore yes I’m ready to go to but I’m
13:24 just gonna see if the Lord gives me my
13:27 dose is suffering before I go hope hey
13:30 how do you mind for you I haven’t
13:33 learned much yet you’ve done enough from
13:35 all the way no I yourself and everybody
13:37 everybody you know you don’t get through
13:39 life with it going through trauma I try
13:43 to figure out what happened to you when
13:45 you were 14 that major Scooby was there
13:48 something that we just stopped believe
13:51 in a God when I was 14 out a dream that
13:54 I saw Jesus he was waving to me woke up
13:57 and I realized that I had lost my faith
13:58 and it was counterintuitive but I just
14:01 went with it it was like Jesus waving to
14:03 buy to me it was sort of like he knew I
14:05 would come back to him and he was sort
14:07 of saying see you later Oh letting me
14:10 did you do horrible stuff on your 14
14:12 more than the average 14 year-old
14:14 Jennifer I was always rebellious like
14:17 the stupid stuff when my mother called
14:19 me to go to Sunday school or whatever
14:21 and chef call me a million times before
14:23 I’d actually go I was rebellious like
14:26 that and I found drinking was well what
14:31 it does is it breaks down the barriers
14:32 and you can become a different person or
14:35 your real self comes out or something
14:38 like I like people they seem to like me
14:41 but it nobody likes me what I was I
14:44 don’t know I’m Sarah Connor yeah you had
14:48 so you started drinking when you’re
14:50 young to socialize yeah I guess I don’t
14:53 know I wanted to get out of myself what
14:55 you don’t like yourself just those two
14:58 get it yeah yeah get away it’d don’t
15:03 care about anything yeah anyway it’s
15:10 been a log found a lot of soft lost a
15:16 lot of it just because I have good
15:19 strong enough you don’t need to be
15:20 strong to go to heaven I think you need
15:23 to be weak to go to heaven
15:26 remember when we’re watching for
15:28 twilight zone and this old guy was up in
15:33 the clouds and he’s walk along with his
15:36 dog and he got to heaven and they said
15:42 you kid but no dogs allowed and so he
15:46 walked away and then finally he said you
15:48 know I can’t be heaven only dogs and so
15:51 he went down and sure enough he found
15:53 the where they were both welcome hey I
15:58 remember that ok let’s change topic a
16:02 little bit and talk about my conversion
16:04 what what impact did that have on year
16:05 was out of the blue or we surprised away
16:07 I was totally totally happy your whole
16:11 being changed you just wear by David
16:14 against it was just marvelous David it
16:17 just because I felt for you I was a bit
16:20 off during those years no you were yeah
16:23 you were troubled yeah you were really
16:26 seemed trouble see bit loose ends I was
16:30 so good hearted thanks for sticking with
16:34 me I thought what’s going to happen do
16:39 you plan for oh yeah I always pray for
16:42 you yeah always for special just because
16:45 you’re you but because I’d lost about
16:48 the babies are so afraid I was gonna
16:50 lose you while I was carrying you guys
16:53 afraid you weren’t going to live didn’t
16:56 the doctors give you some warning it
16:57 wouldn’t be a good idea to have another
16:58 day later all I said I shouldn’t have
17:00 another one for two years oak at least
17:02 two years yeah so I asked you I asked
17:06 you a lot like a version he said you’re
17:08 happy with it oh yeah it’s really happy
17:11 at dad are both have it with the wood we
17:13 went down there for the ceremony at one
17:15 confirmation oh it was just it was just
17:17 so uplifting and it just there’s so much
17:21 love you know and people feel warm
17:24 towards you know they know that you’re a
17:26 good person and I think you’re sincere
17:29 interested people I I think it’s a real
17:32 gift that you have I think you have
17:34 biggest yeah
17:37 so depression in our bloodline how many
17:40 of your siblings were clinically
17:42 depressed like we’re doctor would say
17:44 yeah you’re depressed I think all of us
17:47 yeah yeah I think Ken you know of anyone
17:51 in the family that was actively a witch
17:54 or demonic stuff on purpose no there’s
17:56 nothing like demonic that I know of but
17:59 my sister she was saying that when she’d
18:03 have these spells she said that the kids
18:06 would know when they were coming on so I
18:09 don’t know just what kind of spell she
18:12 had because I didn’t know I thought it
18:15 was like you know when I would get
18:17 depressed you know and I just go to bed
18:19 and you know but I never felt that it
18:23 was something that people would feel
18:26 coming on you know oh yeah we did as
18:28 kids I did you even know when we’re
18:31 going to be at school I’ll get that
18:32 special feeling and come home and there
18:34 would be something up oh really oh
18:36 really oh really at a distance oh really
18:40 but definitely what do you think that is
18:42 I think it’s a spiritual world yeah you
18:46 don’t feel it’s evil I mean I think
18:48 there’s good and evil and gods in charge
18:51 of the whole show and God allows evil
18:53 and so you know it was a foreboding yeah
18:58 yeah yeahs wasn’t Pleasant no but I was
19:02 always as a child I was always oblivious
19:05 and very much in a bubble and I would
19:06 have dreams and nightmares I man and the
19:09 distinction between the dream and
19:11 reality wasn’t always crystal clear you
19:14 know what I mean yeah yeah I just like
19:16 life is but a dream for me sort of even
19:19 to this day less so now yeah you know
19:23 but there’s you know you could attribute
19:25 it to mental unless you can attribute it
19:26 to some spiritual thing or whatever else
19:30 but when I think about my childhood and
19:32 the dream life yeah and some of these
19:36 sort of psychic phenomenon you know yeah
19:40 dark disturbing troubling stuff so it’s
19:43 nothing about it was pleasant it was all
19:45 like sort of spooky
19:49 okay spooky stuff yeah I’m not spooked
19:52 now I think I know that log yeah I had
19:57 no idea that you were sometimes I’m look
20:00 at your pictures school pictures and you
20:02 look sad and I think wonderful way to
20:05 said yeah I think dad said that the kids
20:08 all had different temperaments mine lean
20:10 towards melancholy yeah I think that’s
20:13 accurate but i prefer sizes / angry yeah
20:16 me too okay yeah yeah because I’m
20:20 overwhelmed with sadness well i must say
20:23 that i get to dreams where I stop them
20:27 you know like I feel that diamond you
20:30 know yeah and then I pray you know and
20:34 then I know that they can’t get across
20:37 this you know but I do have that fear of
20:41 the devil you know how many of you seven
20:44 girls of attempted suicide car and two
20:47 succeeded yeah so on a lighter note can
20:50 you just talk about sort of what you
20:52 love about God and what you look forward
20:55 to about heaven what are the good Rosie
20:57 happy scenarios that you have waiting
20:59 for you after the best well just dance
21:02 Footloose and fancy-free do you often
21:07 think of heaven well I think yeah a lot
21:11 what do you picture serenity just good
21:15 feeling just happy days are here again
21:21 no but I just think that all my trials
21:25 Lord to be over back in ossifer yeah
21:29 where there’s no more pain just a
21:35 feeling of togetherness with your loved
21:38 ones yeah anyone in particular you miss
21:41 that you’d like to see my mom and my
21:47 baby face you can always die in war no
21:51 no she lived three hours after she’s
21:53 blown when I came to and I asked out of
21:57 her she said you know with a girl that
22:00 she had spied
22:02 bifida and hydrocephalus water of the
22:05 brain and that the doctor had said that
22:10 to the opening in the back with spina
22:14 bifida was a large opening a and that
22:18 they could send her to travel to a
22:20 specialist to have her operated on but
22:22 Chad says she wouldn’t come through it
22:25 and if she did she’d never walk you
22:28 never know she might move six months she
22:31 might live and the doctor said that he
22:34 would recommend that we just let her go
22:36 so they just let her die like that or do
22:39 they have to do something because no no
22:41 she just died on her own so when did you
22:44 name her face dad okay what to give us
22:48 faith to go on it’s gonna be fun to see
22:51 what she looks like an have that yeah so
22:53 we don’t know who’s listening but what
22:55 would you say to anyone that is
22:56 listening let’s say don’t give up the
22:58 ship but to know you have to you can’t
23:03 rush it so I think you know no matter
23:07 how many times I’ve tried you can’t
23:10 bring the end on faster than you know
23:13 you find life long or how I look really
23:20 long long ago I said on post but you
23:24 know it’s not my enough up to here guess
23:27 it is I don’t think that’s maybe
23:31 uplifting but it’s all like I’d say yeah
23:44 you like it one of you if you can get
23:46 there are some questions I don’t know
23:49 all you got to do it all you have to do

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